How to meet women online is a search term I must have plugged into my browser a dozen times. When I first started dating online I was desperate to find the one trick that would make any woman fall in love with me. I would tie my self-worth up in every email I sent and stress over writing the “perfect” email. Every time I didn’t receive a message back I felt like I had failed. Sound familiar?
Becoming emotionally invested in the outcome of every action I made in online dating made a process that is supposed to be fun extremely stressful. I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if “she” had messaged me back.
Eventually my mindset changed regarding online dating and I became much more comfortable with myself. This which made online dating a LOT more enjoyable (and successful).
Having the right mindset as you set out on this journey will make the late night “how to meet women online” searches moot. Take the time to think about the five points illustrated below and how you are currently internalizing them.
Once you have had a chance to begin to change your mindset take a look at our Highest Rated Online Dating Site Review to find the best sites to put your new approach to work.
How To Meet Women Online
The Mindset For Success
Online Dating Is More Like Fishing Than Hunting
Men are hunters. Our genes tell us that once we have a target in front of us to go after it like our life depended on it. If we fail in our hunt than we will die and our genetic line will not continue. That is a lot to deal with every time you message a woman online!
The reality of online dating is that it’s more like fishing. You take the time to prepare your best bait (your profile). You look around for the best place to fish (your dating site of choice). Then you throw your fishing line in the water and wait for a bite. Sometimes you will see a fish that you like and cast your line in her direction.
You will always have your line out there but you don’t have to constantly be waiting for a bite.
The point is that online dating is a game of patience. Sometimes you will get bites left and right and sometimes not. Regardless of the situation your job is to make sure you have the best bait possible and continue to work on your fishing skills. You will not see successful fisherman with a single minded focus to go after a single fish (just ask Captain Ahab).
There are far too many variables out of your control for the “hunting” approach to have a happy ending. You want to the the laid back fisherman enjoying yourself regardless of the fish biting or not. Not constantly worrying about how to meet women online because you are fixated on one women.
Don’t Focus On The Outcome, Focus On Getting Better
I had a lot of failures when I first started trying to figure out how to meet women online. I failed over and over every step of the way from profile creation to actually attracting women in person. At first I found this to be disheartening. I was putting in all this effort and I didn’t feel that my results were proportional to the effort.
However, after I began focusing on the process and learning from my mistakes my success rate took off! I had been putting so much pressure on myself to “succeed” that I was not able to be as loose, comfortable, and confident as I normally was. Online dating, and dating in general, requires many different skills to be successful. The good news is that all of these are skills that can be improved upon to drastically improve your dating success.
Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket
Online dating is truly a remarkable way to meet women with a minimal commitment of time. However, you will be missing out on a lot of great opportunities if you only try to meet women online. Online dating is certainly mainstream now, and growing in popularity every year, but there is a large contingent of women that simply do not date online.
Going out and meeting women in the real world also has the side benefits of meeting a lot of other people. As you become more social and are meeting more women in your day-to-day life you may even reach a point where you don’t need to date online.
Using both avenues in tandem is the absolute best way to meet the largest number of women and improve your skills the most.
Have A Mentality Of Abundances
When you are going to message a woman online or talk to them in the real world you need to have a mentality of abundance. What that boils down to is that the woman’s response, positive or negative, does not impact your life. There are HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of women out there and one luke warm response from ONE of them is ultimately a tiny event. It is actually unfortunate for her that she was not open to have such an interesting guy as yourself in her life. Dating is not a win/lose scenario. Often times the one who has failed the most ends up knowing best how to meet women online.
The women you contact online are essentially total strangers. Why should you become upset if a total stranger who knows nothing about you is not always open to having your in their life? There are millions of reasons why a woman would not be open to meeting you at a particular instant that are completely out of your control or dependent on timing. Maybe she is grumpy that day. Maybe you remind her of an ex-boyfriend. Maybe she only dates men shorter than her. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN UNTIL YOU TRY!
In my experience you will often be more surprised by what a woman WILL accept than what she won’t.
Hard Work Pays Off
These concepts are fairly basic in principle but will take work on your part to truly internalize them. You need to consistently hold yourself to these ideals and keep moving forward. I am a testament to this success having found my own beautiful fiance online after going through this process.
You may not see the results initially but once you do they will be far better than you could have imagined. If you are looking for a great place to start working on your online dating skills check out our Best Online Dating Site Reviews for some suggestions.