So you got the girl’s number. Hurray! You’re off to a great start, but this is where the real work begins. Now we teach you how to start texting a girl with confidence.
Most guys don’t plan beyond getting the number and they only realize their texting game is weak after they send their first message. We’re going to help you avoid embarrassing yourself by showing you how to start texting a girl with confidence the right way.
The most important rule of texting
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known the girl, always remember the golden rule: keep your texts light and playful.
That’s right — Your only mission is to keep a smile plastered on her face the entire time you’re texting. Basically, you should keep her so enraptured with your conversation that by the time you’re done for the night, she can’t wait to wake up and start texting you all over again.
Does that guarantee she’ll fall madly in love with you? Of course not. But does it ensure that you have her complete and utter attention? Yes sir, it most certainly does.
How to start texting a girl with confidence
As the old saying goes, this is where the rubber meets the road. Let’s take a look at some examples of how to start texting a girl with confidence. If you are struggling with your overall confidence with women there are a few great books out there worth looking at to help.
Replace questions with statements
If you want to know how to start texting a girl with confidence, the first thing you should do is establish a bit of a dominance play. Therefore, don’t ask permission to do anything. Just do it. There are many guys out there that ask permission for everything.
“Hey, Jenny. Wanna go to the movies?”
“Want to study tonight?”
“Are you interested in grabbing a drink tonight?
Guys figure that by asking first, they’re being considerate of the girl’s feelings. Yet, what they may actually be doing is driving her further and further away due to their lack of masculine energy.
Masculine energy is all about dominance. Not dominance in a bullying type of way (i.e., you will go to the movies with me or else!). I’m talking about a confident type of dominance.
Instead of questions try statements. For example:
“Let’s go to the movies tonight” as opposed to “want to go to the movies tonight?”
The former is a statement. The latter is a question and what we want to avoid from now on.
Statements cause women to react, typically with a question:
“Isn’t it a bit late for a movie?”
You can fill in your own answer, but the point is to replace your questions with statements. Thus displaying your masculine energy.
You can also use these tips if you are doing any online dating. We have had a lot of success online, mostly using our favorite sites for meeting cougars, and recommend that everyone give it a shot.
Keep your conversation short and to the point
You have better things to do than text this girl 24/7, don’t you? Even if you don’t, she needs to think you do. After all, you’re a popular guy and there are tons of women who demand your attention. She must view you as a scarce resource.
Scarcity occurs when the demand for a resource is high but there isn’t much to go around. For example, water is a scarce resource in a drought-stricken desert.
In the dating world, you’re the rare resource. You can let her have some of your time but certainly not all of it.
The more scarce you are, the more she’ll want you. I’m certainly not telling you to blow her off when she rings you up at midnight. But keeping your texts brief and to the point will communicate that you have better things to do than sit around all night and chat.
Stop waiting for validation
A lot of guys are timid when they’re texting women. Many are afraid to make that first move because they’re waiting for more validation that the girl actually likes them. If this is you, ask yourself this one question – how many texts do you need to send and receive before you have the validation you need to make a move?
It’s very likely she’s waiting on you to make a move. Yet when you’re too timid to take that first step, your texting relationship transitions from potential love interests to good ol’ friends.
This will be your texting relationship soon enough:”Hey! It’s my good ol’ textin’ buddy Matt back for another round of late night texting!”
If you draw out a texting relationship for too long without revealing your intent you’re practically asking to be cast into the dreaded friend zone. Therefore, stop waiting for validation and just make a move. Let her know that “this is the reason I’m texting you.”
You’re not texting for the hell of it. She probably has a dozen guys in her back pocket she’s texting for fun. You need to be that one guy she’s texting because she’s interested romantically.
Let’s throw out all concepts of being the nice guy. Assertiveness is the name of the game here. That’s especially the case when you’re asking her out on a date. Remember this well – the whole point of texting a girl you like is to ask her out on a date.
So, don’t be like a large number of men who fumble when it comes time to make a move. Most men have no clue what they want or how to go about asking a woman out. Thus, something like this happens:
“Hey, um…if you’re not busy anytime we should go out to a movie. I mean, when you’re free and all.”
How many of us have sent cringe-inducing texts like this one to our love interests – not sure of yourself, fumbling, accommodating and worst of all lacking masculine energy.
Let’s take a look at an assertive text:
“You. Me. Movies. Next Tuesday.”
Straight and to the point. You’re not asking her if she wants to go to the movies. You’re telling her this is what you want to do.
If she has something to do on that day, then you would, of course, have to reschedule, but the point being made is that to be successful with your texting game you have to be assertive.
Don’t be boring
Never assume you’re the only guy talking to a woman. Because she likely has an entire stable of men she’s currently texting. Therefore, you have to differentiate yourself from the herd. The first way to do this is not to be boring.
Yes, this is a legitimate issue that many men struggle with. They don’t know how to carry a conversation nor do they know how to start a new subject. Over time the conversation stagnates, and she’ll just drift off to a more engaging guy.
Boring men are the ones who start conversations with “hey”. Every guy starts their conversation with “hey”. It’s tired and boring. She’s seen it a thousand times so do yourself a favor and don’t be that guy.
It’s all about keeping her entertained. You’re not a dancing monkey or anything, but keeping a smile on her face should be your ultimate goal.
Always have a conversation topic ready to go before texting. If your conversation starts to drag out and begins to stagnate simply kill it before things get awkward.
Make her feel comfortable
Making a woman feel comfortable is important to keep her engaged in the conversation. I’m sure we’ve all dealt with that situation where you’re texting a woman, and she suddenly stops responding out of the blue.
You sit there and wonder what the hell happened. Was it something you said? Maybe it something you did?
In most cases, women only engage with a man if they feel comfortable. If you make her feel uncomfortable in any way she’ll mentally check out and simply ignore your texts. It happens all the time.
Any number of things can make a woman feel uncomfortable. Perhaps you made a sexual reference that she didn’t like. Perhaps she wasn’t feeling a connection with you.
Whatever the case, texting a girl with confidence requires that you make her feel comfortable during your interactions. Just make her smile, and you’re in business!
Knowing how to start texting a girl with confidence requires that she feel your masculine energy. Your approach must be strong:
“Let’s go to the movies” as opposed to “can we go to the movies?”
Make statements that put you in control of the interaction. If you’re bold with your statements and make a move, even without the validation of knowing whether she likes you or not, you will start your texting relationship on the right foot.