Being a single guy in an office can be tough. We’re often working with a mix of men and women and sometimes it’s difficult to tell office banter from hints of something more. One of the biggest questions you’ll find online from many guys is how to tell if a female coworker likes you. It can be a complicated and somewhat risky affair if you don’t have the right knowledge going in.
In this article, we’re going to cover a few things you can look for to help figure it out.
For most of us, we tend to see the same people more than 35 hours a week for virtually every week of the year. Naturally, that means we’ll try to be pleasant with our colleagues to keep a positive environment.
Over time we’ll also find common ground and grow closer with some and this is where the trouble can start. Is she just being friendly? Is she the flirty type or is this intentional?
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Let’s investigate how to tell if a female coworker likes you
In my mid-20s I worked IT Support at a company that was around 70 percent women around my age. This was great in a lot of ways because I got comfortable spending most of my day around very attractive, well-dressed women. The downside? It was common for them to flirt with the guys in IT as a way of getting a higher priority.
This was frustrating and a bit demoralizing but I chose to see it as a good thing. It made me far better at distinguishing between genuine interest and cheap flirting. Some of which I’ll pass on to you without you having to spend time researching.
Let’s go through some of the things I used to look for that treated me well.
Goes out of her way to greet you each morning
Does she walk the long way to her desk just so she can personally greet you every morning? Maybe the first thing she does every day is make a coffee and stop by your desk for a quick chat.
This is a pretty good sign for the simple fact that she likes to start her workday with you. It’s also a great way how to tell if a female coworker likes you.
Makes excuses to see you around the office
A continuation of the previous point, she makes excuses to spend time with you throughout the day. It could be as simple as asking you questions she could probably figure out herself (“all my pens have gone missing, do you know where I can get more here?”).
Sometimes it’ll be a bit more obvious like coming to sit at your desk because she’s had a rough day or just needs a break for 5 minutes. She’s finding comfort in being around you and it’s an excellent opportunity.
Invites you to events outside of the office
She wants to spend time with you outside of the workplace. Great! It might be an invitation to lunch with a group of coworkers or maybe just you and her having a few drinks after work.
Whatever the situation, it’s the perfect opportunity for you to get to know her a little better and see where it goes. It’s also a great segue on how to tell if a female coworker likes you simply by seeing how she reacts to you outside of the office.
Always asks if you’re going to work functions
Similar to above, she’s asking if you’re going to that work party next week. It’s not that she’s asking every person in the office, it’s because her night will be better if you’re there. Depending on your work environment, she may even be asking because you’re the only reason she’d go!
Think of it this way: It’s almost like she’s asking you out in a more casual and work-friendly way.
She talks to her friends and coworkers about you
Talking to others about you frequently is a great thing for you. The best thing you can hear from her friends when you meet them is “I’m so sick of hearing about you!” It means she’s thinking about you often and needs to share that with others.
One of the biggest mistakes I made at that IT job was mistaking genuine interest for empty flirting. I considered her virtually a 10 and way out of my league so figured she just wanted faster repairs. This was until she invited me to drinks with a bunch of people from her department one night.
Naturally, I accepted this invitation, though I figured she was just being friendly. When I arrived the first thing one of her friends says is “so you’re the guy she’s always talking about”. The penny dropped at that moment and things went nicely from there.
You hear from coworkers that she likes you
I’m not talking about her friend saying this woman straight up said she’s interested in you. I’m sure you’re more than capable of figuring that one out for yourself. What I am talking about though is others around the office insinuating something is going on. This is probably the easiest possible way of knowing how to tell if a female coworker likes you.
It’s much easier to pick up on these things when observing from the outside so don’t discredit these comments.
“So are you and Jessica officially dating yet or what?”
This may be the most obvious signal you’ll ever get, albeit from a different person. My response to this is always to ask what makes them say that. More often than not, this other person is about to tell you all the signals they’ve noticed. Make a mental note of them for future reference.
Deliberate eye contact
Like touch, eye contact is usually a strong and deliberate signal. We’ve all been there at some stage — you’re at the local bar with your buddies and as you look around the room you notice someone looking at you. You pause for a moment and for what feels like forever (probably a fraction of a second) you hold each other’s gaze until she smiles shyly and looks away. While we may do a great job of convincing ourselves it was nothing, that’s rarely the case.
That same lingering, exciting and almost uncomfortable eye contact is what we’re looking for here, albeit at work so probably a bit more subtle. She’s paying you more attention than others and is watching you, hoping that you’re paying attention to her as well. She wants to be noticed and that’s a great way to go about it.
Similar to the previous point, you may notice she’s paying you more attention in general. If you’re with a group of people, keep an eye on who she’s looking at when others are speaking. Is she looking at you even though Dave is the one telling a story?
Often more obvious, what about when someone says something funny? Even if you had nothing to do with the story you may catch her watching your reaction rather than looking at the person who said it. If she likes you she’ll also care about what you think and enjoy and all of this leads to her subconsciously observing what you do.
Takes an interest in your personal life and hobbies
When we’re interested in someone we care about them as a complete person. Hobbies, interests, opinions, family, etc.
If it naturally comes up in a group conversation that’s one thing, but how often do you ask others about personal topics or actively want to talk about their hobbies? The only time I ask about these personal topics is when I’m genuinely interested in them for one reason or another.
If she does start asking these questions, it’s another great opportunity to really get to know her and build rapport. Flip the conversation around and learn more about who she really is too. Since we all love talking about ourselves, it makes for smooth, easy conversation you can return to later.
She notices any changes in you quickly
When you’re paying close attention to someone you’re going to notice any subtle changes in appearance.
She may simply comment on your new shoes or a trinket you’ve just put on your desk. The actual subject is irrelevant; something subtle changed and she noticed. Don’t ignore that!
Knowing how to tell if a female coworker likes you isn’t particularly easy. Hopefully, these tips make it a bit less challenging and can get you to the next steps.
In reading them you may have even come to the realization that some of these have already been happening. Great! If not, that’s absolutely fine, just keep an eye out for them in the future.