If you've been hunting for an older woman looking for a younger man, chances are one of the reasons is because of the sex appeal. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it's likely one of the things she's really interested in as well. But what one woman finds hot and attractive can vary hugely from the next.
Some love tall guys, some shorter. Some are looking for a cute butt and some need a nice smile. But there is unquestionably a long list of personality traits of what turns girls on almost every woman loves. Get these right and women fall over themselves to be with you.
All you need to know on how to turn on an older woman online.
If you spend hours scrolling through online dating discussions – and we don’t recommend you do – you see common themes. Surprisingly, there are not all to do with good looks or plenty of money. Most of the things that excite women – really excite them – are personality and behavior based. This is great news for guys using online dating sites and apps.
So what turns women on?
1) He has genuine originality
What is originality? Many guys think it’s about being cool, hip, quirky. They add a photo of themselves hugging a tiger or standing in front of Machu Picchu and that’s it. But once a woman has seen one photo of a tiger hugger – and she has – it’s no longer original. You might as well be hugging a cow.
Likewise, the hipster culture sprang up from people wanting to be original, but soon man-buns and beards became passé.
Originality is only exciting when it’s genuine. Learning to express yourself and become comfortable in your own skin is part of this. You need to be able to express this from the start with a woman whether you are meeting in a bar or online (you can check out a few great sites where we have had success meeting attractive older women here).
You can be novel in a ton of different ways. Dressing in very straight, classic clothes can be original – if your main hobby is something contradictory, like surfing. It’s basically about being brave enough to be different. Older women get really turned on by the confidence this suggests.
2) He can do intelligent comedy
In surveys women regularly rate ‘being funny’ as what turns girls on, but why? It’s a riddle that’s had people scratching their heads for years. Perhaps it has something to do with popularity – a funny guy will always have friends. But no matter what the reason, all you need to know is – funny is sexy!
This means, showing off your funny side is critical for getting replies from online sites. And you can do this is two different ways, in text or in your photo.
Yes, you could dress up as a clown in your profile photo, but please don’t. The key to making funny sexy lies in intelligence. We want a guy who’s consciously funny, not funny because he’s a ditz.
But all the same, women are very good at spotting a so-called ‘funny man’ from a photo alone. Maybe it’s the wide grin or one slightly raised knowing-eyebrow. We’re not sure what. But if you’re one of those guys who just doesn’t look funny, don’t despair. Women get even more excited by amusing guys who don’t look funny!
If we see a very serious looking guy in a suit next to a hysterically funny heading next to the photo, we go wild. We love the mismatch for funny and serious – maybe it suggests you can still be serious when the time comes.
3) Being fit and active is what turns girls on
In the last few years, guys seem to have gotten it into their heads all women want a bodybuilder. But this is absolutely not true. Maybe we can admire a nice six-pack on TV but we know what it takes. We don’t want to date someone who spends all his evenings and weekends at the gym. Neither do we want to have to hear about his diet or have his protein shakes stacked up in the kitchen.
But we do want someone who likes to get up off the couch and do stuff with us. So if you’re into hiking, canoeing or just walking through a glen, tell us about it.
4) He’s open-minded about his type
Although many older women come across as confident, we’re still a little unsure of ourselves. When a guy we like posts his profile on an online site we don’t instantly fire off a message. Rejection is a horrible thing for women too. And we’re taught from early on pretty much every guy finds every woman attractive.
Because this is clearly not true – if we’re unsure we won’t message them. Some profile texts specify exactly what the guy is looking for. They write, “Tall, blonde and fun!” and sit back expecting every tall-blonde on the site to write to them.
But in truth, even if there was a tall blonde on there who was attracted to his profile, she wouldn’t. He’s too specific!
She’s going to wonder if she’s tall enough, blonde enough… even fun enough to message this guy. Instead, what really makes women feel sexy is messaging a guy who’s open-minded about his type. When a hot guy says, “I love women of all shapes, ages and sizes! I just love women,” it makes us swoon.
5) He’s book smart, street smart, or both
Intelligence is a huge turn on, but before you think we mean a Ph.D., think again. Smart comes in all forms – it takes place in your head, heart and hands.
While being super-intelligent can be sexy, some nerds lose points by having a low emotional IQ. This emotional IQ helps people understand how others feel. Men with a higher emotional IQ are easier to bond and connect with. And are great in bed.
Likewise, a guy who’s great with his hands, who can make and repair things, is also super-sexy. And it doesn’t need to be car-fixing or table-building either. Painting, gardening and music are also things we read about in your profile text make us shiver.
6) He’s passionate in more ways than one and this is what turns girls on
Some guys are just too cool for school – and while this type of confidence is cute, being passionate is hot! Maybe you feel strongly about a local cause or you are training to pass a test. We love focus and dedication.
This is because it spells out commitment and drive. She thinks maybe if you two get together, you’ll be as passionate towards her as you are for the other stuff.
And of course, passion is strongly linked to sex. A man who’s fiercely passionate about saving the whales will hopefully be able to steer his fire in her direction.
7) He loves animals and children
This is a classic but it’s still true today. We love a man who is kind and compassionate, who loves kids and small animals.
Firstly, if you like kids and you can play with our nephew it makes us glow. But with older women, this is especially important as she might have kids of her own. The last thing she wants is to watch you grimace when she tells you she has a five-year-old.
If you love animals too, especially pets, we feel you’re a good trustworthy person. It’s also a practical thing. A guy who can’t go in a house because cats make him sneeze or he doesn’t like the way they look at him is a pain. But a guy who cats and dogs flock to is incredibly attractive.
8) He’s got plenty of realistic optimism
Older women often rate this point really highly when dating a younger guy. One of the things that make them really exciting to be with is their optimism. Positivity is contagious and hot. Hearing how good something is or could be has a very seductive charm. But the keyword here is “realistic”.
If a guy’s profile text says he’s a trainee doctor who intends to travel the world and help prevent some disease, we’re captivated. He’s already on the right path and his optimism is believable. If he says he intends to start college next year, develop an app and become a billionaire – we back away.
Everything is easier with a little optimism. Problems small and large can be overcome. Older women know, optimistic men have fewer hang-ups and are basically, better lovers. This is why coming across as optimistic in your text is what turns girls on.
9) He wants to spend time together
After about the age of 35, many women realize relationships with men their own age are kind of lonely. At some point many great guys become career focused but never learn to work-life balance. And while we all want a partner or lover who enjoys their work, if this is the case, we miss out too.
Women are very good at time management. If she wants to drive down to the beach with you for the weekend, she’ll move her schedule around. Older guys tend to just say they’re busy. So if you want to get her in the right mood, showing you want to spend time together is important.
When you propose a date, you can show you’re flexible or willing by saying so. “If either Friday or Saturday works for you, I’m sure I can find a way to make it work.” These are the magic words.
