How Often Do Women Want Sex Really? (Guys Need to Know)

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Do you ever find yourself wondering, “How often do women want sex?” This might come up when you feel like your libido doesn't match hers. It can make you think that you're having sex too often or not often enough.

However, there really isn't a clear-cut answer to this question. There isn't a "sex quota" that you need to hit. Instead, how often a woman wants sex depends on several factors. Below are some factors to consider to give you an idea of how often the woman in your life wants to have sex with you.

How Often Do Women Want Sex in a Relationship?

If you’ve just started a relationship with the woman of your dreams, chances are you want to keep the sparks flying in the bedroom. Well, looks like this task doesn’t require as much effort as you might think. According to a recent study, published in the academic journal Archive of Sexual Behavior, the average couple has sex once a week.

Researchers generally agree that this frequency is more than enough to keep your lady satisfied. Another study published on Social Psychological and Personality Science shows that getting laid more than once a week doesn’t make couples happier. People who had intimacy less than once a week, instead, were usually not much satisfied with their relationship.

However, there is no such thing as a magic number that exactly answers the question, “how often do women want sex?” The intercourse frequency that worked for your shy ex-girlfriend may not suit the confident, highly-sexual woman that you’re dating now.

The best advice is to maintain open communication and encourage her to express her sexual needs without fear or shame. For guys that are still looking to meet women for a little bedroom fun you need to check out our favorite apps and sites for hookups.

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Age and Sexual Frequency For Women

One of the factors that influence the preferred sexual frequency of a woman is her age. As the fertile years pass by and menopause approaches, the female body goes through hormonal changes that may affect libido. Also, pregnancy and breastfeeding may cause fluctuations in a woman’s sexual desire.

This happens because the female libido is mostly regulated by three hormones: testosterone, progesterone and estrogen. They tend to decrease naturally with age, so ladies from different age groups usually have diverse attitudes towards sex.

How often do women want sex in their 20s?

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, a woman’s fertility peaks in her 20s. That means that a youngster in this age range wants to jump into bed at any given time, right?

Not necessarily. There are plenty of factors that may affect a 20-something woman’s libido, like the use of hormonal contraception. The pill may lower testosterone levels in the body, causing changes in the patient’s sex drive. However, in a study published on PubMed.gov only 15% of women who take the pill reported a decrease in their libido.

Also, research data from the General Social Survey has recently shown that Millennials have less sex than previous generations, attracting the attention of international media outlets. The experts blame the fact that many Millennials are still living with their parents, as opposed to the immediate availability of internet pornography. Those factors may make your 20-something date’s libido weaker.

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30-something women and the sexual peak myth

In the 1950s, the renowned sexologist Alfred Kinsey argued that women’s sexual peak occurred in their early 30s. That’s because estrogen and testosterone levels are higher in the female body at that age.

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes sense since female fertility begins to decline after 30. In other words, it’s Mother Nature’s trick to increase a woman’s chances of conceiving before menopause.

Of course, female sexuality is way more complicated than that. There are many reasons why the highly-anticipated sexual peak may not happen, including career and family responsibilities. Indeed, statistics have shown that the average age to have a first child is close to 30 in many U.S. cities.

Other than the sleepless nights a woman faces when becoming a mother, pregnancy itself can take a toll on her libido. In particular, the hormonal changes that occur during the first trimester and breastfeeding may cause fluctuations in the mother’s sex drive.

Sex drive during perimenopause and menopause

According to the Mayo Clinic, women usually start experiencing perimenopausal symptoms sometime in their 40s. At this time, the decreasing levels of estrogen and testosterone can mess up with a lady’s libido or cause vaginal dryness. This can make sex uncomfortable.

Symptoms like night sweats and sleep problems may make the woman so tired, that getting laid is at the bottom of her to-do list. Also, bloating and weight gain can make her feel less desirable, which doesn’t help to spark fireworks in the bedroom.

However, don’t take for granted that a woman this age will want less sex than a younger one. When a woman reaches her 40s, her children are likely older and independent, so she has to face fewer family responsibilities. Besides, her career is probably established, which means fewer financial worries. Lastly, she has enough experience to know what she wants between the sheets, other than better sexual confidence. Why do you think highly sexual cougars are so popular?

That’s why older ladies may be more sexually adventurous than ever before and even willing to try something new, like BDSM or role-play.

How to Satisfy a Woman’s Sexual Needs Based on Her Age

Now that you know how often women want sex at the various stages of their life, you can adjust your lovemaking routine to fulfill your partner’s needs. I’ll give you some recommendations based on your partner’s age to help you out.

Satisfying a 20-something woman in bed

Based on what I said above, don’t assume that a young college student is always ready for sex. There will be times when she’ll take the initiative and others when pre-exam stress will put her off the right mood.

Try to not take it personally when she declines sex because very you’re likely not the reason. If her libido drops while she recently started taking the pill, encourage her to see her doctor. Maybe an alternative contraceptive option, such as the ring or the IUD, will suit her better.

Also, remember that this is the perfect age to be adventurous in bed since a 20-something woman is likely not busy with family responsibilities yet. This means that she has more time and energy to invest in trying new things, like sex in unusual locations or crazy positions.

Make sure that she doesn’t miss out on the sexy fun she can only have at this age: Take her out on romantic getaways or introduce a sex toy in the bedroom. She’ll have plenty of time in her 30s for silent quickies while the baby sleeps!

Making sex work with a 30-something woman

When a woman is in her 30s, her life is usually filled with responsibilities. She may be trying to establish her career or start a family. Avoid pressuring her when she’s too tired or simply not in the mood for mattress dancing.

However, intimacy is very important in a relationship, and she definitely doesn’t want to give it up at all. When life gets busy, the experts recommend setting aside time for sex, planning it like you do for any other activity. It may sound unromantic at first, but trust me, it works!

If your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, sex is still possible. That is unless her doctor ordered her to abstain for health reasons. However, remember to be patient if some positions can’t work with her growing belly. Many pregnant women prefer the cowgirl and the spooning position since these positions don’t put pressure on the baby bump.

After the baby is born, the Mayo Clinic says that your partner may have to wait four to six weeks before having sex. Vaginal penetration can be painful after delivery, so use your creativity to give her pleasure in different ways. Sex as a new parent can be challenging, but totally not impossible.

Pleasuring a woman over 40

As previously said, during perimenopause women may experience vaginal dryness and a lack of libido. If your lover is in her 40s or older, your best bet is investing plenty of time in foreplay. Try experimenting with sensual accessories such as massage candles and feather ticklers.

If she keeps experiencing pain and discomfort during sex, encourage her to talk with her doctor. There are plenty of treatments available like topical estrogen therapy. You can also accompany her to the appointment to show her that you care about your relationship.

At this age, women usually care more about the quality rather than the quantity. Try focusing on her pleasure rather than on yours, at least for a while: She’ll appreciate it. Let her teach you how to stimulate her clitoris and G-spot.

Lastly, don’t forget to make her feel sexy. Today, the media puts a lot of pressure on women to stay forever young and attractive. So, the best aphrodisiac for a 40-something woman is likely feeling desired, regardless of her wrinkles and love handles. Compliment her when she dresses up for a night out and make her feel loved with small romantic gestures.

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