If there’s one thing that almost all humans can agree on it’s that receiving great head is fantastic.
That means the art of giving is something well worth your learning. Figuring out how to eat a girl out properly is excellent foreplay, a perfect way to slow things down if you need to and she’ll appreciate it so much.
The best part is, the better you get at it, the more you’ll genuinely enjoy doing it. You’ll enjoy doing something she loves . . . that’s a win in my book.
Since every woman is different, there’s no step-by-step process that I can give you. Instead, this article will cover some guidelines to play within. Take note of these and experiment within them — that’s how you get better at it.
Most importantly, it’s okay that each person is so different. What one woman loved may do absolutely nothing for another and that’s completely normal. Hearing that “most women love when I do that” is a great way to get her clothes back on instantly.
First we are already assuming you've found someone interested in taking things back to the bedroom. If you haven't, it might be best to go back to the start and check out our dating site reviews, along with our articles on forming a good first message, how to ask someone out online, and how to know when to turn things up a notch by spotting if a girl wants to kiss you. Once you're there, then you can really start to think about what to do in the bedroom.
So much about how to eat a girl out properly is the steady build-up. You’re not going to give her an orgasm in 10 seconds and I’d strongly suggest never trying.
Instead, slow it down a little. Start with kissing and slowly escalate from there. Explore with your hands, take off one piece of her clothing at a time. You want her to really want it by the time you do actually go down on her.
Teasing can be fun for you both and makes it that much more exciting.
Right from the beginning you can experiment a little and start figuring out what she likes. Start with small, gentle things and pay attention to her reaction. If she likes it, you can keep going down that route. If she doesn’t, leave it at that and try something different.
For example, while kissing her you can gently grab a handful of her hair. Use it to tilt her head back and to the side a little and kiss her neck. Be gentle but firm in your actions here so you don't hurt her but instead, take control a bit.
Did she gasp, moan or press against you? That’s a green light for a little more of that type of play. If it’s met with silence or any sign of discomfort, that’s a definite red light. She doesn’t enjoy it so time to change direction.
Remember, she may not use words to tell you what she does and doesn’t like. For the most part, the communication will be either a difference in breathing, a moan or a change in body language.
Even once her clothes are off, you should continue with the teasing. Slowly make your way down her body, avoiding the very thing she wants you to do just that little bit longer.
Being so close to actually starting can build that final bit of tension and excitement. Just make sure you’re both still having it. It’s meant to be a couple of minutes of teasing, not a marathon.
Also, don’t forget to smile and make eye contact. It’s a lot of fun and that eye contact can communicate so much. Don’t stare awkwardly but make sure you don’t get lost in what you’re doing and forget about her.
Time to go down on her. Just like everything else you’ve done so far, you want to start slowly and build up from there.
Don’t take your cues from porn here — she doesn’t want you to just furiously lick in that general direction. Instead, start with a slow, soft licking motion and experiment.
While some women prefer gentle pressure the whole time, others need as much as possible to reach that orgasm. The best way to figure it out? Try it and see. Her body language will soon tell you which she prefers.
Perhaps something you’ve never really thought about before. The shape of your tongue while you’re going down on a woman can change how it feels to her.
For example, you can use the tip of your tongue and lick in an up and down motion. This is going to make contact with a smaller area and feel very firm to her. Something closer to a finger, maybe.
On the other hand, if you flatten your tongue out and use a long, slow motion the sensation is entirely different. Think licking an ice cream here. Your tongue will feel much softer and is going to be in contact with much more of her at a time.
Just like everything else here, experiment with it. Some women have a strong preference for one or the other and sometimes it’s fun to alternate.
If you’ve ever read women’s advice to men on the topic you’ve seen the clitoris mentioned. Usually in a “don’t forget about it” type of way. Obviously, they’re correct — don’t forget about it.
With that said, they don’t necessarily mean you should just dive straight in and lick it directly. For most, it’s a very sensitive area and you have to be careful.
Many women prefer that you lick that area but not directly make contact with her clitoris. In most cases it’s covered by the ‘hood’ so focusing on that feels better. You can still apply pressure to her clitoris this way and give her that sensation she wants. You’re just not coming into direct contact with such a sensitive spot.
Even if she likes direct clitoral stimulation doesn't mean she wants that non-stop for the entire time. Much in the way someone trying to give you a hickie on the tip of your penis doesn't sound super amazing because of how intense it would be, so can focusing on her clitoris sound to her.
Again though, everyone is different. Don’t just assume this is the case, try out different areas, pressures and duration to see which she likes better.
The majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. That doesn’t mean that penetration doesn’t feel good!
Doing both at once seems to be almost unanimously considered to be a great thing.
You can pause briefly and slide your finger inside her. Do it with your palm facing up and make the 'come hither' motion. As you’re doing this, you’ll feel an area with a slightly different texture. This is where you want to be almost massaging with that motion.
You can apply a little pressure like this but don’t go crazy. The speed and amount of pressure to apply here is another of those personal preference things. While you’re doing this, continue using your mouth as well.
If they’re available, you can also try using a toy if that’s what she’s into.
There’s no sense in learning all about how to eat a girl out properly if you’re going to falter at the most crucial part, right?
It’s a common complaint from women yet it seems so obvious. When she says “don’t stop”, what she means is to keep doing exactly what you’re doing right now. She’s getting close and all you have to do is exactly what you are for her to get there.
Near as I can tell, the disconnect here is guys trying to change it up to help her finish. Maybe speeding up, applying more or less pressure or moving slightly. It might be in a well-meaning attempt to help but it does quite the opposite. Listen to what she's saying and soon enough, you'll be rewarded by her having an orgasm.
Just like guys, most women don’t want you to keep going once they’ve had an orgasm. You don’t have to stop for the night but at least give her a minute.
Sometimes their orgasm can last a while. Definitely do not stop midway through that. Instead, look for that moment where her body completely relaxes. When she’s cumming her back is probably arched and legs tensed up. When she’s finished, she’ll relax into a more comfortable position and her breathing will change. This is when it’s time to stop.
No doubt she’ll tell you anyway if you don’t get the hint but it’s better if you don’t have to be told, right?
Whether it’s a great first date, a casual partner or a long-term relationship, remember these tips next time. She’ll certainly appreciate it and sex is that much better when it starts with amazing foreplay.