Fellas. The days of austerity are gone. This is the age of liberation. Today’s modern woman isn’t afraid to explore her sexual desires. She’s not afraid to let you eat her out on the first date. And if you’re lucky, she’s even bold enough to demand what she wants. Learning how to eat a woman out is something all guys should know how to do.
For most women, those desires include oral sex. Women enjoy downtown dessert as much as guys do. In fact, science discovered women are more likely to orgasm if they get oral sex. Learning how to eat a woman out is a powerful skill, and an essential tool for winning an older, more experienced woman.
Unfortunately, it’s not a skill you’re born with or taught in school. Most guys dive in without knowing what to do. Frustration happens, sometimes relationships end.
But you're here to avoid all that. You’re going to learn how to lick like the best of them. You’ll learn what to do to leave your partner begging for more. No trauma, no confusion; only bliss and recognition of your expert-level prowess.
Learning how to eat a woman out is a two-step process. Giving amazing oral sex is fifty percent what you should be doing, and fifty percent of what you shouldn’t be doing.
Of course, you’ll need to find a woman, approach her and get her attracted to you. If that sounds daunting, make sure you check out excellent video course on dating women with massive success.
If you’ve already got that sorted, let’s bring things back to high school health class for a minute. It’s an anatomy refresher so you know the terms
You need to become intimate with the vulva, so you can find your way around. A common mistake people make (novices and pros alike) is calling the vulva a “vagina.” A woman’s genital organ, or vagina, is her vulva. The vagina is just part of it.
You’ll learn this and more by becoming familiar with the exquisite vulva. Let’s break down the parts that make up the vulva.
The outer labia are the folds of skin (often referred to as “lips”) that cover all or part of the vulva. They usually have pubic hair unless a woman waxes or shaves. The outer labia don’t have many nerve endings, so they aren't as responsive as many other parts of the vulva. That said, some women get pleasure from having them licked or nibbled.
The inner labia are the bare, fleshy folds of skin (“lips”) inside the outer labia. They have more nerve endings, so they’re more sensitive to touch. Some women can feel sexual pleasure when you do things like lick, nibble, or suck on them.
The vagina is the canal that connects the external parts of the vulva to the (internal) cervix. It’s where a guy inserts his penis and the access point to the G-Spot. The vaginal opening is near the bottom of the vulva, above the place where the inner labia connect. During arousal, the walls of the vagina secrete lubrication, making her wet.
The clitoris is the tiny ball sticking out at the top of the vulva, under the place where the inner labia meet. It’s the part of the vulva equal to the head of your penis. The clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings, so it’s very sensitive (the most sensitive part of a woman’s body, in fact). Seventy-three percent of women say the clitoris is the best way to orgasm. Licking, sucking, or flicking it with your tongue can bring her to orgasm in no time.
The clitoral hood is the fold of skin that hugs the clitoris. Sometimes it partially covers the clitoris, the same way foreskin covers the head of a penis. It protects the clitoris from too much stimulation upon direct contact.
Like most great things, giving earth-shattering oral sex takes forethought. You don’t dive right in. Preparatory steps will make it sexier and comfortable for everyone.
1) Talk about protection
You can swap STIs through oral sex. Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Hepatitis, and HIV are common STIs people can get from oral sex.
You can protect yourself with a dental dam. If you only have a condom, don’t fret; you can make a dental dam from that too.
2) Follow basic hygiene
A woman’s vulva is delicate, and facial stubble can feel like sandpaper. Imagine your stubble chafing her. Consider shaving your face before diving into the muff. Her vulva is also sensitive to bacteria. If you’re going to use your fingers, make sure you wash your hands and trim your nails. The last thing she needs is Freddy Krueger slicing up her honey pot.
Make sure she’s comfortable and confident. Unfortunately, many women have body-image issues when it comes to their vulvas. All those years of hearing jokes about fishy meat curtains can affect a woman’s self-esteem. Before you dive in, let her know how sexy she is, and how much you love her vulva. Talk about expectations. You’re eating her out because you want to, not because you expect her to repay the favor, or because it’s foreplay. It’s about you, and how you want to explore her beautiful, sexy southern belle.
She’s sharing a vulnerable part of herself with you. That’s something to appreciate and celebrate.
Ask her what she likes. The best way to know how to deliver an orgasm is to ask. She might not know the answer, but you’ve opened a line of dialogue. She may feel more comfortable communicating with you while you’re eating her out. You also get the critical bonus of getting her verbal consent.
4) Get comfortable
Women take a little longer to orgasm (sometimes 20 minutes or more), so you may be down there a while. Make sure you’re both in comfortable positions to avoid cramping. You want her to be relaxed, so you have better access to her sweet spots. Propping a pillow under her lower back can be helpful. Place yourself at a 45-degree angle to her vulva, rather than right on top of her. You’re not trying to suffocate yourself.
5) Pace your breathing
No matter how great you are, if you have to keep taking long breaks to catch your breath, you’re not going to get her off. Learn how to pace your breathing.
While not perfect advice overall, the show “Key and Peele” make a great point: “Plan your breathing like you’re swimming!”
Half of learning how to eat a woman out is learning particular skills. It’s more than employing techniques; there’s some strategy involved. If you follow these steps, you’ll be an oral sex God in no time.
1) Build tension
Women have many erogenous zones that aren’t on the vulva. Knowing how to lick a vagina means knowing all of them. Kiss her all over her body; the thighs, naval, nipples, neck, lips, ears, etc. Whisper into her ear or nibble on her earlobe. As you slide down her body, kiss her navel and thighs. When you move to her vulva, breathe hot air onto her clitoris. The idea is to tease her; kiss, lick and touch every part of her except her vulva.
You’re going to explore the clitoris last. First, explore all the other parts of her vulva. The clitoris is the capstone of your exploration because it’s pretty guaranteed to put her over the edge. But first, find out what she likes.
A safe strategy is to start with the outer labia, moving inward to the inner labia. From there you can explore the area around the urethral opening, and vagina. Think of it like moving toward a target. It might help to gently spread the labia with your fingers. Relax your tongue and give her labia slow, long strokes from the bottom to the top. Like you’re licking hot chocolate from her body.
Mix up your speed and intensity. Give her shorter licks, or flicks with your tongue. Try (lightly) sucking and kissing her labia, or nibbling (with your lips, no biting). Try sticking your tongue into her vaginal opening, see if she likes it. If she does, don’t be afraid to use a finger or two.
Take your time, explore for a while.
Pay attention to her cues. Many women are uncomfortable giving instructions. Instead, they give nonverbal cues and hope you pick up on them. Moans of pleasure, saying “yes,” or pressing her hips up. When she’s turned on, her body will tense. Take note of these things, so you know what she likes. If she’s completely passive, she might not dig what you’re doing. If you’re not sure, it’s okay to ask.
3) Go in for the clitoris
After exploring for a while, she’ll be pretty worked up. It’s time to zero in on the clitoris and reap the rewards of your hard work.
The clitoris is sensitive so you’ll need to start slow. Using your tongue, give her some light taps or licks. If her clitoris is too sensitive, you’ll know pretty quickly. You can move up and lick her clitoral hood instead.
If she’s down for direct contact, keep going. Test the waters a bit. Many women love tongue flicking on the bottom or top of the clitoris. Some prefer side-to-side licking or circles. And a profound number of women love their clitoris to be (lightly) sucked. Remember, the clitoris is like the head of a penis. You like your penis sucked, and she wants her clitoris sucked. It makes perfect sense.
If your jaw gets tired, take a short break. But be mindful. Replace your tongue with a wet finger, and make the break short. When you learn how to practice eating her vagina, you get used to it.
4) Maintain consistency for orgasm
You’ll know when she’s close to orgasm. She'll start breathing heavy (or faster). She might make sounds, like moaning. She might say things like “yes,” “oh my god,” or “keep doing that.” Her body will tense up. She may grab the blankets, or curl her toes. Whatever signals she sends, pay attention. Because this is your cue to do one thing, and one thing only: Keep doing what you’re doing.
Don’t change your technique, or speed, or intensity. Lock that shit in. Don’t stop until you’re sure she’s done, or she tells you to stop.
You can cuddle, eat a sandwich, grab a smoke, go to sleep, talk about oral sex. Whatever you do, feel good about what you did. Don’t worry if she didn’t orgasm this time. Anything worthwhile takes practice. And fantastic sex takes communication.
A big part of knowing how to lick a vagina is knowing what not to do. A conversation that rarely happens because, well, it’s awkward. But you’re in luck. If you avoid these big mistakes, you’re ahead of the game.
1) Not asking what she likes
Whether it’s before, during, or after, you should be asking for her opinion. She knows what turns her on better than anyone. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “what do you want me to do to you?” If you can’t seem to muster the words, at least pay attention to her nonverbal feedback during the deed.
2) Rushing through it
It’s not a race. She wants to know you’re down there because you want to be. If she thinks you’re trying to get it over with, that will likely be your last time intimate conversation with her pink pearl.
3) Changing techniques right before she orgasms
It bears repeating. Don’t change what you’re doing if she’s close to orgasm. Chug, chug, chug along until she’s through the gates of rapture. Please and thank you.
4) Doing the alphabet with your tongue
She knows what you’re doing, and it doesn’t feel good. It feels like you released a moth in her vulva. It’s awkward and unoriginal. Just don’t.
5) Showing too much enthusiasm
The vulva is sensitive. You can lick too hard if you don’t relax your tongue. Don't suck too hard like you're latching on to a mother's teat. You can nibble too hard if you use teeth (cover them with your lips). Slow it down and take it easy.
6) Assuming she’s like your ex
Every vulva is a snowflake, and every woman likes something different. Don’t assume your current partner likes what your ex liked. Your past partner might have been a delicate flower, but your current partner wants to be fisted. Who knows?
7) Looking terrified or confused
Eating a woman out can be scary and complicated, especially if you’re new to it. Most women know that. But she doesn’t want to be reminded of it when she’s trying to orgasm. She may glance down, hoping to see you enjoying her pocketbook. The last thing she wants to see is a look of horror.
Some guys will throw their face in and shake their head around. Do not ever motorboat a woman’s vulva. On that note, don’t blow into her vagina either. She’s not a recorder.
9) Not finishing what you started
Women get blue balls too. Blue walls, blue bean, blue waffle, blue tubes, pink balls, call it what you want. If you start it, finish it (or at least try to).
Here are a few techniques you can try to get you started. Learning how to practice licking a vagina includes trying new things. Build on these techniques and, before you know it, you’ll be eating women out like a pro.
Learning how to eat a woman out like a pro is easier than you think.
It’s mostly communication and passion. If you’re not into it, she’ll know. There’s nothing sexier than a guy who wants to give a woman pleasure, for no other reason than wanting to. That hunger goes a long way with women.
Follow the steps outlined in this guide. Soon you'll be the standard she compares other guys against for the rest of her years.