How To Give Oral Sex To A Woman So She Will Orgasm (Expert Guide)

Woman experiencing pleasureLearning how to give oral sex to a woman can set you apart from the throngs of guys trying to woo women. It’s no longer reserved as a foreplay pastime for hookups. Oral sex has earned its place in the annals of sex play.

Oral sex is pretty standard these days. Most of us have admitted to getting it and most of us admit to enjoying it. Older women have been singing its praises for years. It’s one of the many successful strategies for winning the lady of your dreams. And now, their younger counterparts are joining the party.

One study showed that women are more likely to orgasm if they receive oral sex. Plus, giving oral sex to women promotes faithfulness in men. Sounds pretty great to me.

So, without further delay, here’s your guide to giving amazing oral sex to a woman.

How to give oral sex to a woman

Moaning. Soft at first, like a kitten. Then growing to a mature roar. Muscles are tensing, hips rising from the bed. Uncontrollable shaking. And the screaming. Yes. Oh my god, yes. Yes, yes, yes!!!

These are the telltale signs of a woman in the throes of orgasm as she receives amazing cunnilingus.

But first, you have to land a woman and get her interested in you sexually. Regardless of your strategy, knowing which are the best hookup apps and websites on the internet only helps you. Luckily, we’ve done the homework and reviewed them all to get you the ones that work.

If you’re having trouble from there, make sure to check out our video course on how to find, approach and attract women. Taught by dating expert Hayley Quinn, we walk you through everything from building confidence to making sure your first date isn’t your last.

Once you’ve got that all down, you’re going to be wondering how to give oral sex to a woman so she orgasms. That’s where this guide comes in handy as a cheat sheet so you can rock her world!

If you’ve always wanted to bring a woman to rapture through oral sex, you’ve come to the right place. Even if you’ve given a woman oral sex, but you want to know how to improve your game, you’ve come to the right place.

This guide is your insider’s look into giving amazing oral sex to a woman. Written by a woman, for your learning pleasure. This guide demystifies the art of cunnilingus by detailing the components of oral sex.

Read it, study it, practice it.

This is the ultimate guide to giving your partner the best oral sex of her life.

You need to try this

Make sure she’s comfortable

The first step to ensuring comfort is getting verbal consent. There’s nothing sexier than hearing that, “yes.” Then it’s a steady process of communicating and making adjustments.

Create a judgment-free zone

By the time a woman reaches adulthood, she is convinced her vagina is disgusting. All those years hearing her guy friends make jokes about “fishy vaginas,” “jungle bush,” and “meat curtains.”

If she’s lucky, she’s either grown out of that horrible phase and come to her senses or hired a good therapist. But many women never reach that point. A shocking number of women never hear how beautiful their vulva is. So before you delve in, remind her of your love affair with her vulva.

Tell her how much you love the way it looks, feels, smells, and tastes. She needs to go into this knowing you admire her body. There’s nothing sexier than your lingering gaze into her vulva, followed by a genuine smile of approval. Then can she be comfortable, instead of worrying about smelling “off” or tasting “weird.”

Make it about you

Some women are uncomfortable being the center of attention. That discomfort can be distracting and get in the way of orgasm.

Women have long been taught that sex isn’t about her. She might be able to experience some pleasure, but above all, she’s there to please her man.

If you want to make her comfortable, squelch those archaic notions. As counterintuitive as it feels, make it about you. You’re performing cunnilingus because you want to. It turns you on to see her writhe in pleasure. She’s doing you a favor by lying back and allowing you to take care of her sexual desires.

Remind her that oral sex can be the main course. She doesn't have to hold her orgasm for vaginal sex or repay the favor.

Get physically comfortable

You’ve taken steps to make sure she’s not stuck “in her head.” The other barrier to get past is physical comfort. Cramps are a real threat. You want her relaxed, in a comfortable position that grants you easy access to the goods.

Lying on her back with her legs spread is a great place to start. It might be necessary to prop her up on some blankets or pillows (near her lower back or head). Depending on the angle you’re working for, she may be on all fours. You may want to consider a blanket or other soft layer.

You should be comfortable too. Women aren’t one-lick chicks; it takes an average of 10-20 minutes (or longer) for most women to reach orgasm. You may need to maneuver your hands or extend your neck to kiss her belly or legs.

Get into a comfortable position where you won’t be fidgeting every few minutes. That might mean lying on your stomach or side, or your knees. Avoid positioning yourself on top of her at a 90-degree angle. You’ll be more comfortable if you’re closer to a 45-degree angle. It allows you to reach more of her vulva with your tongue and fingers. And gives you the bonus of being able to glance up at her without having to stop and lift your head. video course

Prepare for success

She’s relaxed and confident; ready for action. Prepare to give your partner amazing oral sex by minimizing interruptions and mistakes.

Clean yourself up

A woman’s vulva is sensitive. After a few days, facial stubble can feel like 120-grit sandpaper. Especially if she is shaved or waxed down there. Unless she’s okay with your stubble, you’ll want to shave your face before getting up close and personal.

The vulva is also sensitive to chemicals and bacteria. If you plan on using your fingers, wash them first. While you’re at it, trim your nails, so you don’t cut her.

Consider using protection

You can contract an STI through oral sex. Some of the common orally transmitted STIs are:

  • Genital Herpes/Warts
  • Syphilis
  • Gonorrhea
  • Chlamydia
  • Hepatitis
  • HIV

You can protect yourself by using a dental dam (or saran wrap). If you’re in a pinch, you can make a dental dam from a condom.


Before starting, it can be helpful to have a conversation about what she likes. Even if she doesn’t know, it creates an environment where she may feel more comfortable communicating during oral sex.

Know the vulva

Picture of how to give oral sex on a womanYou’re probably already familiar with the vulva. But a refresher doesn’t hurt since you’ll be diving face-first into her bits. Every woman is unique, and each part of the vulva has the potential to bring her pleasure.

Outer labia

The outer labia are the two folds of skin (“lips”) that cover the vulva. For most women, the outer labia are the least sensitive parts of the vulva. That said, some women experience pleasure when they are nibbled or licked.

Inner labia

The inner labia are the lips inside the outer labia. They’re more sensitive, as they’re covered in nerve endings. Licking, gently biting, or sucking on them can result in sexual pleasure.


The vaginal opening is toward the bottom of the vulva, near the spot where the inner labia meet. It’s the gateway to the G-Spot. With arousal, the vaginal walls secrete lubrication. Inserting a finger or tongue can lead to orgasm.


The clitoris is the small, bulbous pouch at the top of the vulva, under the spot where the inner labia meet. It’s the pinnacle of the orgasm. According to 73 percent of women, the clitoris is the best way to reach orgasm. With over 8,000 nerve endings, it’s the most sensitive part of a woman’s body. Licking, sucking, or flicking it with your tongue can throw a woman into orgasmic rapture.

Clitoral hood

The clitoral hood is the fold of skin that surrounds the clitoris. The hood protects the clitoris from overstimulation.

How to perform cunnilingus

Learning how to give oral sex to a woman isn’t rocket science, but there is some strategy. You have to know how to perform cunnilingus on your partner. It may take a few tries to get it right, and that’s okay.

Work your way from the outside in; the clitoris is the cherry on top. Begin slow, build tension, listen for cues, and adjust as necessary.

Tease her

Women have several erogenous zones. Take advantage of those while creating some sexual tension.

Kiss her while you rub her thighs with your fingers. Whisper into her ear the things you’re going to do to her. Stroke her neck with your lips. Tug her earlobe with your teeth. As you move down, kiss her navel and thighs. When you move to her vulva, breathe hot air onto the clitoris. Tease her until she can’t stand it anymore.

Explore her vulva

Unless you already know, find out what she likes. The clitoris is a given, so you want to know where else she likes to be licked, kissed, and nibbled.

A good strategy for this is to start from the outside (the outer labia) and move in (to the inner labia). It can help to pull the labia apart with your hands for better access. Use your tongue to lick the labia, giving her long, light strokes from the bottom to the top. Make sure your tongue is soft, relaxed.

Pay attention to her pleasure cues. Many women are uncomfortable talking or giving instructions during oral sex. So instead they rely on their cues and hope the guy picks up on it. Is she moaning in pleasure, or saying “yes”?

Is she pressing her hips into your face? Can you feel her body tensing? Make mental notes of the things she likes, and pay attention when she’s silent or unresponsive. If you’re unsure, ask if she likes it, or what she likes.

Take your time; there’s no reason to rush. You can try shorter licks, sucking and kissing the labia. Try licking her U-Spot, the area of the vulva around the urethral opening. Long licks or quick licks. Variety is the spice of oral sex. Then move to the vaginal opening. You can lick the opening, and put your tongue in. Begin by rubbing the outside of her vaginal opening with a wet finger to see how she reacts. If she likes it or doesn’t shy away, you can try inserting a finger.

Don’t go for the hole immediately, as some women aren’t into it.

Mix up your tempo

You won’t know how slow or fast she likes it unless you try different speeds and intensities. A little variety is a good thing (in the beginning). Try slow strokes, quick strokes, or flicks of the tongue. Soft touches, more intense touches, sucking, light nibbles. (Note: do not bite down hard anywhere on her vulva.) Pay attention to what she likes most, and where.

Give love to the clitoris

After you’ve explored for a while, she should be pretty fired up. It’s time to bow down to the almighty clitoris and bring her home. How do you know when a girl orgasms? When the clitoris is fat and happy.

Of critical importance is to start slow with the clitoris. It’s very sensitive. It’s easy to dive in with guns blazing and cause discomfort — what a mood killer. So, start with light, slow strokes using your tongue. If her clitoris is too sensitive for stimulation, you can lick her clitoral hood instead. Do NOT perform the alphabet. She will know what you’re doing, and it’s a turn-off.

Many women love long strokes up the vulva followed by a tongue flick on the clitoris. Some prefer side-to-side licking. Or light circles around the tip of the clitoris. And many, many women love to have their clitoris sucked; make sure you’re not latching on like a Hoover vacuum. Light, gentle sucking is enough to begin. You can suck harder if she’s into it.

Mix it up, see what she likes. Whatever you do, don’t stop. If your jaw tires, you can supplement using your fingers. But get back in there when you can. You can also use your fingers to enhance the experience. The clitoris is more than what you see on the surface; there’s an intricate system underneath. You can leverage the hidden sections by rubbing her U-Spot while you lick or suck on her clitoris.

When you learn what she likes, you’ll want to keep doing that. Consistency is key.

How do you know when a girl orgasms?

You’ll feel her body tense when she’s closing in. Her breathing will speed up or become heavy. She may moan in pleasure or say “keep doing that.” Whatever the signs, continue doing what you’re doing, at the same speed and intensity. When she’s about to orgasm, use your hand to pull the clitoral hood back (up) to reveal the clitoris. Keep doing what you’re doing.

She’ll tell you to stop when she wants you to stop. In the meantime, enjoy the fruits of your labor.

How to give oral sex to a woman -- Techniques to try

If you’re not a cunnilingus aficionado, here are a few specific techniques to try with your partner.

Sweet milkshake

Pull her clitoris into your mouth and suck on it as you would suck a milkshake through a straw. Slow and steady.

Rough and tumble

Flex your tongue (so the top of it is rough). Rub the top against the bottom of her clitoris.

Come hither

Using the same tempo, lick her clitoris from the bottom up, and thrust your finger(s) in and out of her vagina. Be sure to aim up toward her G-Spot. Match the tempo so that your finger is in her vagina at the moment your tongue reaches the top of her clitoris.

Concentric circles

Use your tongue to form concentric circles around her clitoris. Work from smaller to larger, or larger to smaller. Increase the intensity by inserting a finger into her vagina and massaging the G-Spot.


Lick the clitoris from side-to-side with your tongue. Start with short, light strokes. Increase the intensity with stronger or longer licking motions.

The whole she-bang

Starting at the bottom of her vulva, lick to the top of her clitoris. One long, slow, delicious licking motion. Increase the intensity by increasing speed.

Spasmodic surprise

Rub the clitoris across your lips while blowing onto it. Increase the intensity by nibbling with your lips or intermittently flicking with your tongue.

Slow and steady

Slowly lick up one of her inner labia until you reach the clitoris. Flick it or draw circles with your tongue, or gently suck it. Then slowly lick down the other inner labia.

The flitter

Use the tip of your tongue to flick the underside of her clitoris. Small, quick motions on the underside of the head. The faster, the better.

How do you know when a girl orgasms? Communication

Learning how to give oral sex to a woman is half the battle. The other half is fine-tuning communication. Giving amazing oral sex is using all your senses to read your partner’s body, so you know what drives her wild.

Listen to her moans of pleasure. Watch her arch her back and press her hips up. Feel her tense in pleasure as she nears orgasm. Smell and taste her sweet juices as her vulva engorges with excitement.

No two women are the same, so you have to learn how to perform cunnilingus on each unique partner — what a treat.

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