Considering the numerous benefits orgasms offer—lower stress levels, reduced anxiety and even clearer skin—it's time men everywhere learn how to make a girl orgasm.
And studies show that, on average, they've got some work to do. When it comes to orgasms, heterosexual women lag behind every other demographic. According to research conducted by the International Academy of Sex Research, just 65% of heterosexual women say they regularly achieve orgasm during sex.
Not such a bad homework assignment, right?
Fortunately, the female orgasm isn't some elusive, mysterious thing. However, there are definitely tools and strategies for learning how to give a girl an orgasm she won't forget.
If you want to know how to give a girl an orgasm, here are 10 tips to include in your bedroom routine.
We are going to assume that you already have a lady in mind for the rest of our tips. If you don't, you might want to take a peek at our favorite hookup sites and apps. Finding a fun girl can be pretty easy using them.
In the 2000 movie What Women Want, Mel Gibson's character magically gains the ability to hear the thoughts of every woman around him—and soon discovers that the things that go through their heads are completely different from what he assumed.
While the film is obviously fantasy, it makes a good point: men can learn a lot by simply listening. In other words, don't assume you know what your partner desires in bed. Instead, ask her to tell you what turns her on.
In fact, it can be incredibly sexy to do this while you're in bed together. Have her show you exactly where and how she likes to be touched, then have fun recreating her favorite moves.
It's important to listen to what your girl wants, but you can turn up the heat even more by telling her what turns you on—preferably in explicit detail.
Scientists agree that sex starts in the brain. Daryl Cioffi, a sex counselor, told Medical Daily that dirty talk is effective because it engages the parts of the brain that regulate a person's sex drive. "People very much enjoy dirty talking because it activates all regions of your brain while your body is also getting stimulated."
Cioffi also says that when it comes to dirty talk, it's good to get downright filthy. "Similar areas of the brain are touched upon during dirty talk as when we curse. So, very often as your brain sees it, the dirtier the better."
In fact, some women (and men) can get so turned on by dirty talk, they orgasm without any kind of genital stimulation.
On average, women say it takes about 45 minutes of foreplay for them to become fully aroused. Yet studies show that most couples spend just 15 minutes leading up to the main event.
The solution? Narrow the gap by spending more time on foreplay.
The good news is there are almost endless ways to do this. Have fun with it by changing up your routine.
For example, light some candles and give her a sexy massage. Or maybe surprise her with lingerie from her favorite store and have your own boudoir photo session. You can even start warming her up earlier in the day by engaging in some hot and heavy sexting.
The bottom line is that foreplay shouldn't be a chore. Use those 45 minutes to be truly intimate. Focusing on foreplay can improve both your sex life and your relationship.
In a study of over 52,000 adults, researchers found that "women were more likely to orgasm if their last sexual encounter included deep kissing."
Scientists say evolution might have something to do with it. Research has shown that men have tiny traces of testosterone in their saliva. When a woman kisses a man, this testosterone transfers to her and ultimately increases her receptiveness toward that man.
Of course, it's probably safe to assume the majority of women aren't thinking about this during a hot makeout session. However, it might explain why women place greater value on kissing compared to men.
Women also have different preferences than men when it comes to kissing. On average, men prefer kisses to be 33% wetter and with 11% more tongue compared to women.
The bottom line? Kiss her more, ease up on the tongue and avoid drenching her mouth when you plant one on her.
Studies reveal that a whopping 90% of men achieve orgasm through intercourse alone. For women, however, putting item A in slot B doesn't typically lead to fireworks.
Instead, many women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
Just how many? In a 2015 study of more than 1,000 women, 18% said that intercourse alone was enough to make a girl orgasm. By contrast, 36.6% reported needing clitoral stimulation to climax, while another 36% said they could orgasm without clitoral stimulation but their orgasms were much more pleasurable when sex included it.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer explains why: "[The clitoris] has the same characteristics as the penis. Blood flows into the clitoris, and in order for a woman to have an orgasm, there must be lubrication in the vagina, but also the clitoris must get erect."
Keep in mind, however, that the clitoris can get extremely sensitive as a woman gets turned on. To avoid overstimulating her, try edging, which involves taking her right up to the edge of orgasm, then pulling back just before she climaxes.
To do this, start by gently rubbing small circles around the outer edge of the clitoris, then work your way in. Maybe give the clitoris itself a little attention before retreating to the outer areas again. Then repeat. The idea is to tease and titillate—and hopefully give her a more powerful orgasm.
While a little friction during sex can be good, a lack of lubrication can make sex uncomfortable and even painful for women.
In fact, studies have shown that women are more likely to orgasm when they use a lubricant. According to one report, 78% of women who used a lubricating gel during sex said they experienced increased sensitivity. In the same study, over 90% of women said using lube made for a better intimate experience.
As a bonus, sex experts say that lube also makes condoms more effective. According to sexologist Jill McDevitt, "Lube reduces the friction of condoms, making them less likely to break, and it reduces microscopic tears through which [sexually transmitted infection] pathogens could enter the body."
Sex toys aren't just for solo play. There are plenty of ways couples can use toys to enhance their sex life and enjoy better orgasms.
Multiple studies show that sex toys have entered the mainstream. Whereas many people considered toys something of a taboo in the past, today's couples aren't shy about incorporating sex toys into their bedroom activities.
In a 2017 meta-analysis of sex toy use, researchers found that 52% of women say they've used a vibrator, 40% say they've used one alone or with a partner within the past month and 48% of women surveyed say they "always" or "often" use a vibrator for masturbation.
And today's sex toy offerings aren't limited to just pocket rockets. There are dozens of sex toys for couples on the market, including the We-Vibe couples vibrator that stimulates a woman's G-spot and clitoris at the same time. Now that's a win-win.
If you've been with your partner for a while, you might have fallen into something of a sexual routine. No matter how much you enjoy your bedroom, going at it in the same place over and over again can make sex lose some of its sparkle.
So you might wonder how to make a girl orgasm when you've been together for months or years. It can be as easy as busting out of your routine.
You can do this by surprising her with flowers—and a quickie—while she's on her lunch break. Or book a romantic weekend getaway at a local bed and breakfast. Anything out of the ordinary can be a great way to rev up her sex drive and help her achieve a brain-melting orgasm.
This tip works best if you have a detachable shower head with a pulse setting. Because most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, you can put your showerhead's pulse feature to work by using it to direct a gentle spray of water toward her clitoris.
To make this work for you, have her lean against the wall. You can also ask her to sit on a shower bench or seat if you have one. If you don't, you can have her prop one leg on the edge of the tub or a low shelf. Then use the showerhead to spray water over her vagina and clitoris.
As a bonus, heat increases blood flow, which can make the vagina more sensitive. Just make sure to check the water temperature to make sure it's warm rather than hot.
It's something of a cliche that the key to great sex is communication. However, there's definitely something to be said for keeping the lines of communication open when you want to learn how to make a girl orgasm.
Don't assume that what made her orgasm one time will work every time. Just because she wanted it quick, dirty and a little rough before doesn't mean she's in the mood for the same kind of sex now.
Take time to talk to her throughout the day and when you're both home from work or other responsibilities. Encourage her to tell you what's on her mind so you can get an idea of her mood and energy levels.
In some cases, slow and sensual might be the way to give her an incredible orgasm. In others, you might need a different approach. By constantly communicating, you'll both enjoy better sex and more pleasurable orgasms.