Until relatively recently, female pleasure was something of a taboo topic. Even with the progress society has made in the last few decades, the idea that women are just as entitled to pleasure as men can be viewed as controversial. In 2019, a robotic vibrator designed for women was rejected from the Consumer Electronics Showcase in Las Vegas for being "immoral" and "profane."
As history has shown, the best way to combat such outdated attitudes is by celebrating female pleasure in all its forms. If you're a guy (or gal) who wants to learn how to pleasure or a woman, here's a guide that gives you the lowdown on going down, plus a whole lot more.
Orgasms aren't just for the fellas. Studies show that men and women not only get turned on by different things, but they also orgasm in fundamentally different ways. If you're serious about learning how to properly pleasure a woman, it pays to do your research.
So how does a girl get pleasure? The first step to learning how to pleasure a woman is by understanding her orgasm.
Female orgasms don't just happen. In fact, there's a whole process involved. As described by Everyday Health, a woman's orgasm actually occurs in four different phases.
Researchers describe the first stage of the female orgasm as one of excitement. This is when she feels aroused or desired, and it's when she agrees to have sex. In this initial stage, blood will engorge the clitoris, vagina and nipples—so it's a good idea to pay attention to all three areas as you learn how to pleasure a woman.
As a woman's orgasm builds, the outer area of her vagina will receive more blood flow, which is something sex experts call the "orgasmic platform." During this time, her heart rate and blood pressure will go up, which probably explains all that moaning and breathlessness.
The big O is a series of contractions in the pelvic floor, vagina and uterus, and it's accompanied by a sensation of warmth that can spread to other parts of the body.
After orgasm, a woman's body relaxes, resulting in what's commonly known as the sexual "afterglow."
When you're really into a woman, you want to give her the best orgasm of her life. But helping your girl achieve the big O isn't like operating a piece of machinery. You can't just put part A in slot B and expect great things to happen. Here are five tips for how to blow her mind.
It's a scientific fact that most women don't orgasm through intercourse alone. In fact, just 18% say that vaginal intercourse is enough to make them reach their climax.
Instead, most ladies need clitoral stimulation. You can stimulate her clitoris in a variety of ways, including using your fingers or adjusting your sexual position. Sex experts recommend having the woman press her thighs tightly together while her guy is straddling her. This helps angle the penis in a way that it creates friction against the clitoris, helping her achieve orgasm.
Okay, so not everyone is on board with delving into the world of anal sex. But if you're both feeling adventurous, anal can be a fantastic way to stimulate the female orgasm. The reason is that the anus contains a ton of nerve endings, making it one of the most sensitive parts of the body.
Anal also lets a guy position himself closer to a woman's G-spot, which can make for one powerful orgasm.
It may sound pretty simple, but asking a woman what turns her on is one of the best ways to make sure she gets the pleasure she craves.
As you explore her body, go slow and gauge how she responds to what you're doing. Gently ask her what feels good, and encourage her to let you know if anything is off-limits.
According to a 2017 study of over 50,000 people, kissing is a surefire path to orgasm for women. Specifically, women participants said they were much more likely to reach a sexual peak if sex involved a mix of deep kissing, clitoral stimulation and oral sex.
As a bonus, deep kissing can make for great foreplay. Remember that the excitement stage of a woman's orgasm is important, as it sets the stage for mind-blowing sex.
Studies consistently show that women enjoy sex more when it's wet. They also tend to feel positive about lubricants. While some friction is desirable during sex, painful intercourse is a major turn off.
Lube is also a great tool for clitoral stimulation. It only takes a few drops to create a smooth glide that will drive her crazy and make her hungry for more. There are many different kinds of lube out there, from water-based lube to silicone lubricant and even massage oil. Have fun experimenting with different formulas to find out what you and your partner like best.
If you're a lady who loves ladies, there are plenty of ways to pleasure a woman in a way that will leave you both satisfied. As a woman, you have special insight into how other women get turned on and what makes them feel good.
If you're looking to turn up the heat in the bedroom, experimenting with new sexual positions is an easy way to do it. Here are five sexual positions to use when you want to pleasure a woman.
The 69 position
The 69 position is a fan favorite among lots of couples—and for good reason. With one partner on top and one on the bottom in reverse position, both partners get to enjoy oral sex simultaneously.
You can turn up the heat by adding toys to the mix. A compact vibratory makes an effective addition to your fingers and mouth when you're doing your best to learn how to pleasure a woman.
If you're willing to get a little kinky, experimenting with bondage can make for a stimulating sexual adventure. Before you bust out the whips and chains, however, make sure your partner is totally on board with this type of play.
You can also start small by using scarves or fuzzy handcuffs. You can also have fun by switching roles, with one person playing the submissive and the other being more dominant.
Instead of traditional face sitting, have your partner face your toes while she sits on your face. This puts you in a perfect position to give her earth-shattering oral, and it lets you achieve a different angle. If you do it right, you can even stimulate her G-spot.
Reverse facesitting also lets the lady on top bend over and stimulate the bottom partner's clitoris and vagina. As you both get more aroused, you can even transition to a 69 position to finish each other off. Talk about a win-win.
You can put a new twist on oral sex by having your partner elevate her hips with a firm pillow. This gives you better access to her vagina while easing any discomfort in her hips and lower back. You can also purchase special sex wedges made specifically for taking oral sex to new heights.
You can give her the orgasm of her life with the doggy style position, which lets you fondle her breasts from behind while you penetrate her with your fingers or a strap-on.
Doggy style is also great because it gives the partner at the rear total access to the front partner's bottom. The buttocks are a sensitive erogenous zone, so make the most of this position by engaging in some light spanking while you're back there.
Are you someone who plots your destination on a map before you leave the house? Or maybe you always read the directions before assembling a piece of furniture?
If so, you probably prefer a step by step guide to how to pleasure a woman. If so, here are seven steps to help you make sure she's always satisfied in bed.
Before you raise the possibility of sex, do your best to make sure she's relaxed and at ease. No one gets in the mood when they're tense or feeling pressured to be intimate.
Create a relaxing, comfortable atmosphere designed to help her unwind and get closer to you. Let her get the sense that you're more than willing to take your time with her. Knowing a guy is totally into them is an irresistible turn on for women.
Find the sexual position that makes sex feel amazing for her. If you aren't sure, find a good time to ask her what she likes. Otherwise, be willing to experiment with different positions until you discover the one that gives you the most access to her sensitive areas.
Not everyone is comfortable being vocal about their desires. If you pay attention, however, you can pick up helpful clues from her body language. Keep an eye on how she moves when you touch her. If she's writhing and unable to control her moans, you'll know you're on the right track.
Get things fired up by going down on her. Keep in mind that most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. If she's shy or self-conscious about oral sex, suggest moving your bedroom activities to the shower.
Even better, use a detachable sprayer to gently massage her intimate areas, then follow up with your tongue. Do this and she'll be begging you for bath time.
Sex toys can be a great way to ramp up your foreplay and help her achieve a powerful orgasm. To really blow her mind, combine a small vibrator with your tongue. To do this, hold the vibrator against her clitoris with gentle pressure, then use your mouth on her intimate lips and vaginal opening.
Women's private parts can be extremely sensitive, and too much pressure too soon can spoil the mood fast. Avoid this by starting out with slow, gentle pressure and then gradually working up to more aggressive touches as she gets wetter and more aroused.
Whatever you do, avoid any abrasive or jabbing movements on her sensitive bits. Remember, you're not trying to remove paint with a piece of sandpaper. Keep things as gentle as possible and make sure to ask her periodically if she's still feeling good. This way, you can adjust the pressure as you go.
Be mindful of the fact that women can take a bit longer to orgasm compared to men. Just because you've reached your climax doesn't mean it's time to roll over and start snoring.
Instead, make sure she's also satisfied. You might need to reach for a vibrator or give her more oral sex to really drive things home. Taking your time to ensure she reaches her peak is one of the best ways to show you care about how to pleasure a woman.
One of the best ways to keep a woman satisfied is by never letting her get bored. Relationships can get monotonous when you've been together for a long time.
To keep things fresh, treat sex like an adventure. Explore new positions and moves. This will make you closer as a couple and ensure your sex life is never stale. Nothing is sexier than a man (or woman) who strives to keep his or her woman happy in bed—and out of it.