Why Do I Cum So Fast (A Doctor's Tips on How To Not Cum Quick)

Man who cums to fast with his girlfriendYou’ve done the hard part by getting her interested in you. Now it’s time to make your move, but all you can think about is how do I stop cumming fast. The more you understand your sexual response cycle, the better control you’ll have over your body.

In this article, I’ll explain the reasons why you are cumming quick. You’ll also learn how to not nut fast. After all, you want to enjoy sex with her as long as you can. The following tips can help you figure out the areas you’re struggling in and make a much-needed change. Don’t be too hard on yourself because you aren’t the only guy having this difficulty. All that matters is whether you want to make changes to improve your endurance.

Why do I cum so fast during sex?

Your excited, she is hot and you can’t wait any longer. If you’re worried about how to not cum quick, then start by understanding your body and what makes you tick. Do your homework and learn more about how to not nut fast before your next sexcapade.

Before you can practice your newfound sexual prowess, you’ve got to find a woman to try it out on. Luckily, we’ve done the hard work for you by checking out and reviewing the absolute best hookup apps around.

Now sit back and learn everything you need to know about how to not come quick.

1) You’re wired to ejaculate quickly

One of the answers to your question “why do I cum so fast,” is evolution. You’re hard-wired to cum quickly. Since the beginning of time, men have ejaculated rapidly to procreate. The human race has depended on men to cum fast in order to increase the population.

Men who were able to get women pregnant and have children were considered superior in evolutionary history. There were many dangers for cavemen back in the day, which was one of the reasons they had to cum quickly. When you were worried about a large predator outside your door, you didn’t have a lot of time for romance and foreplay.

Just because it’s in your nature to ejaculate quickly doesn’t mean you can blame it on this reason and give up hope. Not all hope is lost. Even though you are focusing on how to not cum quick you still can slow down the process, which can make sex last longer.

2) Your brain gets excited before your penis realizes it

Since you aren’t here for a science lesson, let’s keep it basic. The biggest sex organ is your brain. Your excitement and horniness start in your brain before your penis realizes what is happening.

You see an attractive woman and you want to have sex with her. Before you begin to worry about why do I cum so fast, your brain instantly sends a signal throughout your body that she’s hot and your penis becomes erect due to increased blood flow.

At that moment, you have no control over your penis due to the stimulation and erection you feel. Within a few seconds, your scrotum draws closer to your body and your penis grows in length. Now that your brain and penis have the same intention, you are ready to make your move. Don’t let your worry of why do I cum so fast get in the way.

3) Why do I cum so fast? Weak PC muscles

Even if you work out regularly and are in the best shape of your life, you can still have weak muscles. If you aren’t sure what your PC (pubococcygeus) muscle is, you might have heard of it called your pelvic floor muscle. They have a lot of responsibility and often go unnoticed. If you want to stop worrying why do I cum so fast, focus on your PC muscles.

The job of your PC muscle is to support your bladder and rectum. For example, it helps control your urine flow. Your PC muscle is a workhorse that doesn’t take a day off, but you can benefit from improving its strength. Don’t worry because I will tell you how to find your PC muscles and give you some tips to strengthen them later, so keep reading.

4) Factors that lead to premature ejaculation

In your quest to figure out why do I cum so fast, explore if there is a potential psychological or medical issue that may be adding to your speediness. As a certified sex therapist, I’ve worked with hundreds of men who had dealt with ejaculating too fast due to both psychological and medical factors.

5) Psychological Factors

When I assess for a psychological factor, I discuss any limiting beliefs, thought patterns and mental blocks that may be leading to ejaculating too quickly. For example, a client was frustrated because he couldn’t last long during sex. When I asked him about his experience during sex, he told me that he worried his penis ‘looked weird.’

This caused him to move very quickly once he started making out with a woman which led him to move on to sex immediately. He made sure the lights were dim and skipped foreplay so she wouldn’t see his penis. Come to find out a woman in his past told him his penis ‘looked different,’ and since then he accepted her opinion as his truth. This was a mental block that led him to speed through sex and ultimately to ejaculate quickly. It was all due to stress about what a woman may think about his penis.

6) Physical Factors

In addition to psychological factors there are also physical issues that can cause premature ejaculation. I work through a full history of sexual experience, behavior and response cycle. I discuss medical history, mental health issues and trauma. The most common problem is premature ejaculation. This is also known as rapid ejaculation and is a sexual dysfunction that is a struggle for many men. This is when there is persistent or recurrent ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before, on, or shortly after penetration and before you want it to happen. There are specifiers which include lifelong, acquired, generalized, and situational types. If you think you may be experiencing premature ejaculation, consult your medical doctor or a certified sex therapist.

5 Training tips how to not cum quick

1) Control your breathing

If you think that breath isn’t a big deal with sex, you’re wrong. Your way and rate of breathing have a significant impact on your sexual abilities. Your ability to practice controlled breathing can help you slow down your body and solve your problem of how to not come quick.

When you slow down your breathing, you’ll experience a physiological response. Your heart beats slower, your muscles relax and your blood pressure decreases. When this happens, you can become more present at the moment and enjoy every minute of sexual pleasure.

If you aren't used to intense stimulation, then you may be quicker to ejaculate. For example, new sexual positions you haven’t tried before or a woman who requests intense stimulation during sex may make you feel pressured to cum fast. Learning how to control your breathing can help you in all of these situations.

If you have a difficult time slowing your breathing during sex practice outside the bedroom. Start doing some yoga to help with paced breathing work. If you want to add new skills to your sex toolbox, try tantric techniques. These techniques can help you connect with deep belly breathing. These rhythmic breathing techniques can help you tap into sexual energy that will help you last longer.

2) Slow things down

One reason why men aren’t as interested in foreplay is due to the build-up of excitement. You are turned on and ready to have sex, so the last thing you want to do is slow things down. If you haven’t had sex in a while, you may cum faster, so it’s essential that you learn how to control your body. Alcohol can be a reason you are going quicker than you want to. Drinking can slow down your ability to be present and focused, which can lead you to cum too fast. Your struggle with why do I cum so fast is amplified with alcohol.

As if you needed another benefit of safe sex, think of condoms as your friend. For many men using a condom lessens the sensitivity experienced during penetration. This is what you need to happen so you can slow down your sexual response. It may be difficult if you have been turned on for a while and you are waiting to rush to penetrate so you can cum. Sure, you have been patient but don’t speed up when you enter her, keep it slow, and steady.

Condoms are a great way to help you decrease your sensitivity and solve your quest of how to not nut to fast. Trust me when I tell you that she would rather you go slow, build up her excitement, and anticipation during sex. For example, tease and touch her while you focus on slowing your process down. You will be happy you did when you are able to last longer than you are used to.

3) Orgasm and ejaculation are different

When you're wondering how do I stop cumming fast, remind yourself that there is a difference in an orgasm versus ejaculation. Knowledge is power, so separating these two physiological responses can help you when you are wondering how to not come quick.

The process of orgasm and ejaculation can be difficult to distinguish. When you orgasm, you reach a peak sensation of intense pleasure that creates an altered state of consciousness associated with physical changes.

Ejaculation is made up of two phases, which are emission and expulsion. Emission is when your body works to prepare for ejaculation. During this first phase, your vas deferens (the tubes that store and transport sperm from the testes) contract to move the sperm towards the base of the penis. Then your prostate gland and seminal vesicles release the secretions to make sperm. Once this happens, the ejaculation is unstoppable.

The second phase is expulsion, which is when the muscles at the base of your penis contract and force semen out of the penis. The combination of the first and second phase make up ejaculation. Slowing down the beginning of the first phase will be crucial in understanding how do I stop cumming fast. Focus on breaking down the process into these separate parts will help you feel more in control and help your solve your question of how do I stop cumming fast. Your ability to understand the different actions helps your brain realize that you are in control of your penis versus your penis being in control of you.

4) How to not cum quick -- find your PC muscles first

Remember the PC muscle from above, now that you know it’s functions you are ready to strengthen it. Building strength in your pelvic floor muscles can help you gain better control over your bladder and urine flow. By improving your pelvic floor muscles, you can also have better control of your penis.

Before you can begin Kegel exercises, you need to find your PC muscles. You won’t be able to see these muscles due to their location visually, but you can feel them within your body.

One way to identify these muscles is the next time you go to urinate, try to stop and start your urine stream. Notice your ability to stop midstream then start again. Your ability to start and stop urinating is due to your PC muscles. Remember, that just as it takes time to build your biceps and strengthen any other muscle in your body, it takes time to strengthen muscles in your pelvic floor.

5) Try Kegel exercises to improve your PC muscles

Now that you know how to identify your PC muscles, you are ready to try Kegel exercises. These exercises are the best way to work on your PC muscles, which can help you figure out your question of how do I stop cumming fast.

You can exercise your pelvic floor muscles even if you don’t have to urinate by following these steps:

1) Tighten and hold your pelvic floor muscles for five seconds.
2) Relax your pelvic floor muscles.

Now that you have completed one Kegel exercise, you are ready to repeat it. Your goal is to do this 10 to 20 Kegel exercises three to four times each day. Remember not to hold your breath through the exercise and don’t tighten other muscles in your body such as your stomach, buttocks, or thighs. These exercises will help you learn how to not cum quick.

The goal is to focus on your pelvic floor muscles. Doing these exercises will help you learn to control your PC muscles, which in return will improve your confidence in slowing down ejaculation.


Now that you know how to not cum quick, you are ready to put your skills to the test. Remember to slow down, breathe and have fun.

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