Communication and Dating Coach

I’m Em!

A real girl living and dating on the East Coast.

My goal here is to explain why my advice is worth taking, based on my years of experience, my research, my woman’s perspective, my compassion, and my interest in why things are – not just in spouting unsupported “rules” of conduct.

I started online dating in 2010.  OkCupid is my favorite (and I spend lots of time there with my clients, and doing research).  I also have used Match.com, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, HowAboutWe, and a bunch of apps, like Tinder, Bumble, and CoffeeMeetsBagel.

I’ve met lots of smart, funny, good guys online, IRL, and through my circle of friends.

Most of those men were confused about online dating. 

That’s why I started MenAskEm and then joined Beyond Ages.

I believe good guys should always get the girl.

But online dating can be complicated and confusing for men who don’t know what women want.  Too many guys don’t know what to say in a message, how to write a good profile, or pick the right pictures.  Those guys keep striking out, and eventually give up.

This makes me really sad.  These are great guys who deserve to meet great girls.  They aren’t bad at online dating – they just need to know how to be good at it.

Since 2010, I’ve received thousands of messages – some good, many terrible.  I’ve read countless profiles – some funny and interesting, many boring or obnoxious.  I’ve researched online dating studies, articles, and recent census surveys.  I’ve interviewed other women and men about their best strategies, worst pet peeves, and their horror stories and happy endings.

I know what messages women reply to, what profiles get our attention – and WHY.  Plus, as a copywriter, web designer, and business owner, I know a thing or two about great writing, persuasive marketing, and crafting the right first impression.

I give this knowledge to the good guys – the men who want to do this right.  The guys who deserve to get the girl.

It might take some extra effort.  But it’ll be worth it.

35% of relationships now start online.*  And those couples could be happier in the long run than those who meet in “traditional” ways.**

Those are GOOD odds.  That’s why I believe in online dating, along with 25 million other single people.*

If you’re one of the good guys, you deserve an edge.

I put everything I know on this site and in my eBooks in the hope that they will help you meet someone wonderful.


A couple succeeding with a positive mindset while dating online
Dating Tips
Positive Mindset: An Online Dating Key to Success (Jedi Level)

After listening to my recent interview on the Figuring it Out podcast on how to write dating profile...

Examples of many bad online dating messages
Dating Tips
34 Online Dating Message Mistakes To Avoid - Hall Of Shame

Meeting women online is so much easier these days thanks to all the apps. But the problem is...

Brad and Kaitie testimonial
Beyond Ages Success Story - Brad & Kaitie's Online Dating Story

Met on Match.com in 2013. Got married in 2016...Had their first kiddo in 2017! Their Story Brad, 26...

Beyond Ages Success Story - Roland & Meg's Online Dating Story

Met on OkCupid in 2011...Got engaged in 2016! Their Story Roland, 36 Freelance Audio Engineer Meg, 31 Tutoring...

Successful Beyond Ages clients Billy and Alicia
Beyond Ages Success Story - Billy & Alicia's Online Dating Story

Met on Match.com in 2010, Married in 2014 Their Story Billy, 28 Assistant of Operations in Scranton, PA...

Women reading a great first message
Dating Tips
How to Write a Great First Message

Hey Em, You said there are two things that make a good first message: noticing what I have...

When you should stop messaging
Dating Tips
When to Stop Messaging a Woman: The Gentleman’s Guide

When a girl replies to a message, it’s a fucking victory.  You spend so much time and energy...

Group trying a different approach to online dating
Dating Tips
When Online Dating Doesn’t Work, Do This

First, know that you are not alone.  Online dating only masquerades as the simpler way to date –...

Girl who hasn't texted back
Dating Tips
What to Text if She Won’t Meet in Person

Here’s how to get her to meet you if she’s always “busy”…and how to know when to move...

Man and woman on first date talking
What to Talk About on a First Date

You asked her to meet in person...she said yes.  Sweet success! First, congratulate yourself.  You fought the good...

Woman reading a cringe message
Dating Tips
2 Message Mistakes That Make Girls Cringe

All the marks of a worthy man: - Crafting a great first message - Writing an awesome online dating profile...

Guy who knows the rules for online dating
Dating Tips
Why Smart Guys Learn the Rules for Online Dating

You may think online dating is as simple as posting a decent profile picture, writing an accurate self-summary,...

Woman messaging on a dating app
Dating Tips
25 Prompts for Writing a Great Online Dating Profile

Your written profile is gold mine of opportunity.  A lot of guys overlook it.  Here's why you shouldn't, plus 25...

Holding her attention without hypnosis
Dating Tips
3 Message Examples & Tricks to Hold Her Attention

A first date filled with awkward silences.  She takes a drink.  You take a drink.  She glances at...

Woman ignoring a message
Dating Tips
How to Message a Woman Again Even if She Didn't Reply to Your First Message

Hi Em, Most of my messages have the attributes you discussed in your articles on messaging. So my question...

Girl with a blank profile
Dating Tips
How to Message a Girl Who Has Nothing On Her Profile

Hi Em, How do you "cold call"?  That is to say, send a message with basically NOTHING to...

Man talking to a woman he met on Tinder
Dating Tips
How to Text Women on Tinder: The Smart Guy's Guide

Ahhh, Tinder.  Despite its reputation as an app for hooking up, it’s now also used by women who...

Happy girl after being asked out
Dating Tips
How to Suggest Meeting and Get a Date

Hey Em, How long do I have to message a girl before asking her to meet me in...

What it looks like when you get Tinder matches
Dating Tips
How to Succeed on Tinder: Avoid These Mistakes!

Tinder is like the manic pixie dream girl of online dating -- frenetic, free, and you can't believe it's...

Examples of profiles that don't stand out
Dating Tips
How to Stand Out with Your Online Dating Profile

Some days, online dating feels like a terrible page of Where’s Waldo?  I see so many guys’ profiles, but...

Couple on a first date
How to Prepare for a First Date

Preparing for a first date can be incredibly stressful for most guys. If you feel that way you're...

The reaction you get from good online dating questions
Dating Tips
Good Questions to Ask in a First Message or Text Conversation

John, thanks for sharing! One thing that would make your message better would be asking the type of...

The reaction you get from good dating profile photos
Dating Tips
8 Profile Pictures that Help You Meet More Women

Hey Andrew!  You're definitely right about one thing:  You’ll win or lose a woman’s attention with your profile...

A couple making a real connection
Dating Tips
How to Make a Real Connection with Someone

If you’ve read any of my articles or eBooks, you’ll know by now there are 2 things I...

The type of girl you want more pictures from
Dating Tips
How to Ask a Girl for More Pictures

Thanks for your question, Derek! Yep, that is a frustrating experience and we’ve all been there! If her...

Confident looking Draper
Dating Tips
How to Write an Online Dating Profile Like You're Don Draper

In sales terms, your well-crafted first message to a woman is the cold call. When she visits your...

The reaction you get from big profile mistakes
Dating Tips
Are You Making These 4 Huge Mistakes in Your Online Dating Profile?

Part of learning how to write a good online dating profile is learning what not to write. This...

Woman using a dating app on her phone
Dating Tips
The Best Usernames for Online Dating

Tom, you’re in good company: tons of guys have asked me about the best kind of username to...