So, you’re into older women. A lot of guys love mature ladies because they make for some of the hottest, most satisfying hookups. But if you’re new to the cougar game, you might be wondering where to find older women wanting sex.
Here are some facts: The age range for a cougar is typically between 35 and 55 years old. According to the most recent stats from BedBible Research Center, here’s how cougars stack up to younger age groups supposedly in their “sexual prime”:
- Couples aged 18-24 years old have sex on average 109 times per year.
- Couples aged 25-34 years old have sex on average 94 times per year.
- Couples aged 35-44 years old have sex on average 78 times per year.
- Couples aged 45-54 years old have sex on average 68 times per year.
In other words, 35 - 55 is a pretty sexually active demographic - so finding sex is easier than you think!
Before you scroll any further, let me address the issue outright of how you can meet lots of sexy older women who are looking to get lucky (just like you are!). Here are some of the top dating apps where you can meet older women looking for sex:
|Site||Our Experience||Our Rating||Free Trial Link|
Best For Relationships
Best For Casual Fun
|Try AFF For Free|
Great If You're Handsome
While cougars and cubs might be sexually compatible, they usually live very different lifestyles. The thing is, older women lead independent and often busy lives. They have careers, various responsibilities, and maybe even kids. It’s not that a mature woman doesn’t have a social life—it’s just that it probably looks a lot different than yours. For this reason, bumping into single older women often requires a little strategic effort and we can help (this is for both older and younger guys).
First of all, you might have to head to a few places you don’t typically frequent. Aside from that, even if you do spot a hottie a decade or two (or three) older than you, she’s not necessarily single or looking to get laid. So, how do you find older women wanting sex? Consider this your guide to wooing cougars, including where to look and what to do when you find one.
Where to Meet Older Women Wanting Sex
When it comes down to it, mature women aren’t really that hard to find. I’m willing to bet there are plenty of cougars in your city who are single and ready to mingle. And by “mingle,” I mean “jump your bones.”
That being said, if you want to meet older women wanting sex, you’ll have to put a little thought into it. This means it might not be in your best interest to approach the first older hottie you see out in public. Of course, you never know who you might meet on the street. But with the right strategy, you’ll be more likely to find a cougar who’s looking to hook up (or willing to).
Some of the places on this list might seem counterintuitive. However, to track down frisky older women, you’ll have to think outside the box (and maybe outside your comfort zone). Consider heading to the following 16 locations to meet the older woman of your dreams.
Methodology: Our Recommendations for the Best Places to Meet Older Women
As a professional dating coach and educator with over a decade of hands-on experience, I’ve coached and evaluated hundreds of men who have found success in finding older women. Plus, I’ve played the dating circuit and lived the hookup life to get a first-hand account of just where these women are.
Using both anecdotal evidence from my clients and my own experience of dating older women, I’ve compiled the best places to find older women in 2023 (and beyond). These places are chosen based on a number of criteria:
- The success rate of the method or place in enable connections between men and older women.
- Testimonials or reviews from individuals who have successfully met older women using the method or at the place.
- The ease of access to the place or platform.
- Geographic location and operating hours for physical places.
- Availability on various devices and user-friendly interface for online platforms.
Safety and Privacy:
- Measures in place to ensure the safety and privacy of individuals.
- Security features, such as verified profiles on online platforms.
- The cost involved in utilizing the method or visiting the place.
- Value for money, especially in the case of paid services or platforms.
- The typical age range and interests of the individuals frequenting the place or using the method.
- The likelihood of meeting older women based on demographics.
Community and Social Aspects:
- The community environment, whether it's welcoming and conducive to meeting new people.
- Social events or gatherings that enable positive interactions.
- Opportunities for initiating conversations and getting to know others.
- Features that enable real communication on online platforms.
- The reputation of the place or platform in the community or online.
- Ratings and reviews on reputable websites.
Interests and Activities:
- The alignment of interests and activities offered with the preferences of older women.
- Variety of activities or topics that can serve as icebreakers.
- The size and activity level of the user base on online platforms.
- Regular patronage at physical locations.
- Opportunities to learn new skills or gain knowledge, enhancing the experience.
- Educational events or resources related to the method or place.
At BeyondAges, our core values are transparency and honesty. Some links within our articles are affiliate links, meaning we may earn a modest commission, at no extra cost to you, should you click through and make a purchase. Rest assured, our affiliations do not sway our editorial content; we only endorse products or services we genuinely believe will benefit our readers. We diligently conduct regular updates to maintain accurate and reliable information. Your trust is invaluable to us, and we are committed to upholding the highest standards of clarity and integrity in all our endeavors.
1. Upscale hotel lounges have lots of classy older women
I've visited my fair share of hotel lounges while traveling and I almost never failed to run into an older lady in one of them.
Not all older women there will be interested in sex, obviously. However, more often than not, cougars who own businesses and travel around the world a lot will hang out at these hotel lounges.
They'll usually be bored out of their minds while visiting a new city for work. And that's exactly where you're going to come in. If you spot an older woman sitting by herself at the bar in such a lounge, make sure to chat her up. Sometimes, these sultry older women might even seduce you.
Find out if she's there alone or if she's waiting for someone. If she's there alone, grab a seat next to her and offer her a drink. If you then hit it off, that can often lead to her taking you up to her room in the same hotel.
2. AFF is amazing for meeting older women who want to keep it casual
For short-term fun, the only real competition is between AFF and Tinder. If you are looking for women under 25 and you're a good-looking guy (like top 10% in looks) Tinder is going to be your best shot. It is extremely popular and a great app. The problem is that women over 30 are not big users of it. It is almost completely full of those in their teens and 20s looking to date other people their age so they avoid it. The competition for women's attention is also incredibly fierce with the best-looking guys getting pretty much all the attention. AFF tends to get most guys much better results.
We haven't found a better option after trying out dozens and dozens of other sites!
If you are really looking for women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s+ you need to be on AFF. Every year we put together a full review of the best hookup apps and as you can see AFF is a top choice. They have 50,000,000+ members and have been around for over a decade. You don't have that kind of staying power and userbase without delivering on what you promise.
Check them out if you don't have time to spend tracking older women down in your day-to-day and want to make your life easier. It's easily the best option for most guys and something you need to try if you haven't already.
User testimonials about AFF:
"The Truth about AFF: Don’t know what these other people are talking about. I can honestly say that I have met a few chicks here. I suppose you just have to know what you’re doing. AFF is as legit as it gets."
"if you persevere and use your grey matter you can get what you paid for …which is uncomplicated sex,this site is better than some out there,and you don’t necessarily have to look like Brad Pitt to get laid……."
3. Yoga classes have plenty of single women with confidence
According to the latest statistics from Yoga Alliance & Yoga Journal, “Women aged between 30 and 49 years old are the group who practice yoga the most”. A lot of older women who take care of themselves and their bodies attend yoga classes. On top of that, according to a study published by the American Psychological Association, there is a "link between mindfulness and differentiation of self and suggest that they may jointly contribute to relationship satisfaction." So if you meet someone who's as zen as you are, you'll likely have a happier relationship.
In fact, unless you go to a yoga class specifically for young people, you'll always find some sexy cougars there who are working hard on getting fit. In many cases, the primary demographic at yoga studios is women over 35.
It might be intimidating at first, but just own it! After a few classes, you’ll be in better shape and more confident in an environment of mostly women. Also, if you’re a regular, the other attendees will be used to your presence and won’t think you have an ulterior motive for taking yoga.
Ladies who do yoga care about their physiques, which is a definite bonus. Plus, they’ll be extra bendy, if you know what I mean. That’s why a boutique yoga studio is one of the best places to meet older women wanting sex.
Just don't be crass and try to chat them up during the class itself to build sexual tension. Wait for the yoga session to be over, ask them how their day is going and talk about yoga with them. If your conversation is going great, suggest that you go grab a coffee together and see where that leads.
The best part about yoga classes is that they provide you with the "yoga bliss effect" after a solid workout. That's when your body releases all the happy hormones into your bloodstream and you begin to feel amazing. Because of that, yoga classes are the perfect place to meet older women wanting sex since they’ll feel elated and want to release all that extra sexual energy!
4. eHarmony makes it really easy, especially if you want it to last (try it now)
If you are looking for something more than just older women wanting sex, eHarmony is amazing when it comes to meeting older women wanting sex. They have this magic combination of a ton of older women (30 million+ members) and a really easy way of connecting with them that you just don't find anywhere else.
It's true, eHarmony's great trial does have a bit longer of a signup process but it actually helps you. When you have a signup process that is too short you get a lot of women who try it only to collect compliments from guys and get attention. They never have any intention or desire to actually go on a date.
With eHarmony, you almost never find women like this! These are the most active group of women we have found and are very likely to respond to your messages or even send the first message themselves.
We have yet to find a better option than eHarmony for normal guys looking for more than a one-night older woman!
One word of warning, you might just fall in love on this site. eHarmony is responsible for 75% of all marriages that start online (their matching is that good). You are going to find some great women, so keep your guard up if you committed to the bachelor's life! Check out their proven trial and see how it goes!
What Experts are Saying about eHarmony
Carla Manly, Ph.D., a psychologist from Santa Rosa, California, praises eHarmony especially for individuals interested in long-term, committed relationships. “From client feedback, eHarmony is one of the best dating sites out there, particularly for people interested in a long-term, committed relationship," as noted in a recent interview with My Dating Adviser. She appreciates eHarmony's Compatibility Quiz, acknowledging it as a beneficial feature for fostering meaningful connections.
User testimonials about eHarmony:
"Profiles are quite genuine. If eharmony suspects the user they block them. A touch expensive but I think this is the best dating app I have used."
"I really find eHarmony one of the best app there are a lot of apps similar just I recommending only eHarmony please avoid from other apps because you will find scammer just using women pictures.
The best app is only eHarmony just I am sharing my experience with you,"
5. Casual craft beer or wine bars attract lots of older women wanting sex
A lot of the time, if you check out the casual craft beer or wine bars in your area, you'll find some older women wanting sex there.
That's especially true if they happen to be located near some of the major hotel chains that accrue travel points. As I mentioned before, women who travel on business a lot tend to be single or at least lonely. It's the perfect place to find a sexy cougar, chat her up and get her into bed.
For best results, go there during non-peak hours or late in the evening.
Pro Tip: Be forewarned that you should try in good faith to determine if an older woman has a significant other before having a one-night-stand or entering a relationship–even casual ones. While women in upscale bars/wineries/breweries or under the influence of alcohol might be communicating availability, you can avoid some SERIOUS complications if you screen women better.
6. Art walks and other art-related events are great to meet mature women
If your city has an "art walk" where a lot of local artists get together every few months to display their creations it can be a magnet for older women. Other art-related events like gallery openings can be great as well by art walks are another level.
What makes art walks so great is a combination of wine and the ability to easily mingle with women you don't know. These events usually involve walking around with a glass of wine or a beer and looking at the new art that's been created. These are usually on a Thursday or Friday night so it's a convenient time to take a woman home.
Get yourself a glass of wine and start walking through the various displays. Meeting someone new is as easy as walking up next to her while she's looking at a painting or sculpture and asking her what she likes about it. There isn't an easier place to break the ice for most guys.
7. Night classes have lots of older women
If you’ve ever considered taking a writing class, learning graphic design or taking a business course, you can kill two birds with one stone. Instead of opting for an online course (which are a dime a dozen these days), why not sign up for a night class at your local community college?
Plenty of full-time professionals attend classes at night, and they’re a great place to meet cougars. Not only that but class settings usually encourage group projects and team discussions. For this reason, you’ll get lots of opportunities to chat up older women.
A team project is an excellent opportunity to request a lady’s phone number. And if a connection doesn’t happen right away, no sweat! You have the whole term to get her attention.
8. A cooking class is a great way to get to know some women
Cooking classes aren’t just for established couples. Believe it or not, lots of attractive women in their thirties, forties and older sign up. For many of them, it’s about learning how to cook. But others might be looking to get out and meet people.
Whether you’re an amateur chef or know nothing about cooking, you can find value taking lessons—even if you don’t end up meeting an older woman. Look at this way: if your ideal lady isn’t there, you’ll be able to cook for the next one you meet. On top of that, mature women love having dinner parties, so learning a few skills will make you more equipped to host one.
Add to that the fact that cooking together can count as foreplay. And foreplay that involves titillating her senses is a surefire way to have better sex with older women. According to Dave Perrotta, resident dating expert on Beyond Ages, "Members of the opposite sex require a little more time and effort from their partners to get in the mood." So that's why cooking can be the perfect form of foreplay.
If you’ve had some great experiences with cooking classes or which dishes are sure to wow her, leave a comment below. We encourage an active community on BeyondAges.com, and your contributions help everyone find the relationships they deserve.
9. Cruises are surprisingly good at helping you meet women
Are you willing to spend a little bit of money to meet a cougar? If so, you might want to consider booking a cruise. There’s nothing wrong with going by yourself, and it might give you more opportunities to chat up older women. But going with a friend or two is great, as well.
A cruise might not be on the top of your vacation bucket list. But you might be surprised how much fun you’ll have. There’s lots of people to meet and endless things to do. We’re talking unlimited booze, delicious food, pools, hot tubs, dancing, poker, movie nights—you name it.
This probably goes without saying, but cougars are all about cruises! As a matter of fact, there are often more women than men. You don’t need to be a math whiz to know this means cruises are full of single ladies, many of whom are older than you.
Need to find a cheap cruise? There’s an excellent article on CNN from a wealth of cruise experts to find cougars at sea without breaking the bank. Here are a few notable excerpts:
- Be Flexible: Tanner Callais, a cruise expert at Cruzely.com, "the price of your cruise is largely determined by when you actually set sail," suggesting off-peak dates for cheaper sailings.
- Comparison Shopping: Chris Gray Faust, Executive Editor of Cruise Critic, warns against "booking solely based on the lowest price" and suggests considering all the aspects of a cruise.”
Loyalty Programs: The article mentions, "all members of the MSC Cruises Voyagers Club get 5% off any cruise they book," showcasing the benefits of loyalty programs.
10. Walking a dog might just be your ticket to meeting older women wanting sex
Taking a dog out for a walk is one of the best ways to encounter women of every age. If you’re a dog owner, you may already be aware of the hottie dog moms in your neighborhood. But if you rethink your route, you might bump into more cougars.
It's basically a requirement for single older women to get a dog, especially after all the social distancing from the past few years. It's crazy how many hot older women have dogs now.
If you’re not a dog owner, I don’t recommend going out and buying one just to meet older women for sex. That is, unless you’ve been wanting a pooch for a while and are prepared to care for one.
Another option is to borrow a dog from a friend. I’m sure you know plenty of people who’d be glad to let you walk their pups. Aside from walking paths and sidewalks, head over to a dog park or even a regular park.
Think of a dog like your wingman who’s ready to break the ice for you. In many instances, your dog will make the introduction for you by heading over to sniff her fur baby. Just try to avoid an aggressive encounter, as this can make dog owners turn on each other. Meeting a love interest while walking a dog isn’t just for romantic comedies. It can happen in real life, too!
11. Go to coffee shops to meet some ladies
If you want to meet older women wanting sex, coffee shops are the place to be, especially in the morning. Lots of hotties several years your senior head to coffee shops before work each day. Why not scope out one near where you live?
If you have work to do yourself, you can post up on your laptop while having a latte. But try not to sit there and stare at women without making a move. This can have the opposite effect you’re going for and make you come off as creepy. Alternatively, you could head to some coffee shops as if you’re just passing through and see who you run into while waiting in line.
As a professional dating coach, I’ve found that many men that I’ve coached have found success with a higher caliber of women when compared to environments where loud music, televisions blare, and alcohol is served. Simply put, healthy environment = healthy people.
12. Dive bars are full of naughty older women
Now, dive bars may not sound very sexy or even wholesome, but they're some of the best places for meeting sexy cougars interested in a good time.
Be sure to check these local places between 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. for best results. That's because after 10 p.m., you'll usually just find a bunch of drunk old guys there and not many women at all.
However, I've almost never come across a dive bar without any sexy older women there during these peak hours. It's one of the go-to places for these women to go and find someone to have a good time with, so make sure to visit them every so often.
13. Dance classes get you up close and personal with older women wanting sex
This is another great place to meet some sexy cougars who are open to having a good time with you. You'll be surprised how dance classes are one of the most underrated places to meet women.
As with the yoga classes, once they get their bodies moving and start breaking a sweat, they'll feel elated and happier. You'll also have a great opportunity to partner up with them and show them some of your moves. This will mean a lot of physical contact, which creates tons of intimacy and even arousal.
If they like what they see and you hit it off quite well, all you have to do is invite them for a drink after the class ends.
According to Ian Crewe, dance teacher at Joy of Dance Centre, Toronto, there the following are some best practices and opportunities for finding your next dance partner (on and off the dance floor):
- Attend group classes for a low-pressure environment.
- Remember names to build rapport.
- Give genuine compliments to show attentiveness.
- Engage in post-class conversations to deepen connections.
- Invite individuals to the next social event, fostering a friendly atmosphere.
- Maintain open body language to appear approachable.
- Focus on your partner during dances to create a comfortable interaction.
- Forgive first impressions to allow for a natural interaction over time.
Above all, Crewe recommends humor as the best way to meet women. “Laughing off your own mistakes shows you are a confident person who doesn’t need perfection to believe in yourself, and forgiving others helps them feel more safe and comfortable around you.”
14. Casinos are full of women on an adrenaline rush
If you've ever been to a casino, I'm sure you've noticed that many older women are hitting the slot machines there. In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find a popular slot machine casino that doesn't have any sexy cougars in the room.
Also, where there is gambling, emotions usually tend to run high. The best part about that is that people on an emotional high will usually be open to doing something naughty. That's where you come in; chat these sexy women up and find out which of them are older women wanting sex. You can then see signs that she wants to have sex with you. Then, invite them for drinks and see where that gets you.
15. Bingo nights are perfect for meeting much older women
As with the casinos, bingo nights are another great place to meet a lot of older women. That's especially the case if you're interested in women who are in their 50s to 70s. There aren't a lot of great places to meet MUCH older women but this is one of them.
Also, since bingo is yet another form of gambling, it will mean that emotions will be high in such a venue as well. At this point, you already know what to do—chat up the women who you find attractive up and see where things go.
What’s the Difference Between Dating Older Women versus Younger Women?
Here’s a handy table to break down dating older women. You may have had experience dating younger women, but older women have some pros and cons that you should be aware of before getting involved:
|Emotional Maturity||Pros: Often more emotionally stable and understanding. Have clearer expectations in relationships.
Cons: Might have set routines and less flexibility in some areas of life.
|Pros: Might be more spontaneous and adventurous.
Cons: Could be more uncertain about life goals and can be emotionally volatile.
|Experience||Pros: More life and relationship experience, which can lead to richer conversations and insights.
Cons: Might carry baggage from past relationships.
|Pros: Bring fresh perspectives and new experiences to the table.
Cons: May lack relationship experience, leading to potential misunderstandings.
|Commitment||Pros: Often clearer about what they want in a relationship and more ready for commitment.
Cons: May be looking for serious commitment sooner.
|Pros: May be open to trying different types of relationships before settling down.
Cons: Might not be ready for long-term commitment.
|Energy Level||Pros: Calmer and may enjoy deeper and more meaningful activities.
Cons: Might not be into high-energy activities or late nights.
|Pros: High energy and interested in trying new things.
Cons: Their energy might be overwhelming or exhausting at times.
|Financial Stability||Pros: More likely to be financially stable and independent.
Cons: Differences in financial priorities might arise.
|Pros: Can bring a sense of newness and excitement to experiences, even if they're on a budget.
Cons: Might not be financially stable.
|Life Stage Compatibility||Pros: If you're closer in age, shared cultural references and life experiences.
Cons: If there's a significant age gap, differences in life stages and priorities might be challenging.
|Pros: Can introduce you to newer cultural trends and different life perspectives.
Cons: Differences in life stages can lead to misunderstandings.
Safety & Precautions for Meeting Women for Sex Online
The digital charm of online dating is undeniable, yet, like many online ventures, it requires a sprinkle of caution. The simple profile setup is a double-edged sword, opening doors for both genuine connections and deceitful intents.
Online dating platorms are upping their safety game with features like AI-backed profile verification, two-factor authentication, and other security algorithms. Yet, steering clear of all potential hazards rests on your shoulders. Even the smartest tech has its limits in filtering out fraudulent profiles among the sincere ones.
Here are some safety pointers for your online dating journey:
- Guard Your Identity: Opt for a pseudonym for your profile, and create a separate email for dating interactions.
- Spotting Red Flags: Steer clear of profiles lacking bios, social media links, or with just a single photo – they might be masquerading fakes.
- Verify Your Match: Cross-reference photos and possibly run a background check. A social media sweep can further confirm their identity.
- Take Your Time: Don’t rush to meet in person. Wait until you feel utterly at ease.
- Preserve Your Privacy: Limit personal info sharing and uphold your privacy till you're comfortable with your match.
- Meeting Up Safely: Exercise caution for that first offline meet, especially with long-distance matches.
If you want to share your own experiences with staying safe when dating, leave a comment below. Beyond Ages offers vast community of informed users and we pride ourselves on fostering better experiences when it comes to positive dating experiences.
Diving into the cougar dating scene might seem like venturing into uncharted waters, but it's more about strategy and being in the right place at the right time. By keeping an open mind and being proactive - from yoga to dive bars, dating apps and everything in-between - you’ll find success with the tips we’ve outlined in this guide.
Want to learn more about dating older women or just women in general? BeyondAges has a massive archive of relevant articles and guides to get success in your relationships. Simply type in what you’re looking for in the search bar above and you’ll find a wealth of great relationship advice. Good luck!
Frequently Asked Questions: Meeting Older Women
Need answers but don’t have the time to read this entire article? If so, you’re in luck! Read on and learn the basics about meeting older women:
Where can I meet older women in the mornings?
Coffee shops are a prime location, especially during the morning hours when many older women head there before work.
Are casual craft beer or wine bars good places to meet mature women?
Yes, particularly those located near major hotel chains that attract business travelers. Many women who travel for business are either single or lonely, making these venues ideal for meeting them.
How are art-related events for meeting older women?
Art walks, gallery openings, and similar art events are fantastic. These events usually combine social mingling with art appreciation, making it easy to strike up conversations.
Can night classes be a good spot for meeting mature women?
Definitely. Night classes, especially at community colleges, often attract full-time professionals. This setting encourages group projects and discussions, providing ample opportunities to interact with older women.
Are cooking classes suitable for meeting older women?
Yes, many women sign up for cooking classes. It’s an environment that’s conducive to socializing, and cooking together can often pave the way for deeper connections.
Are cruises good for meeting older women?
Surprisingly, yes! Cruises often have more women than men, making them a great place to meet single older women.
How effective is walking a dog for meeting older women?
Very effective. Many single older women have dogs. Walking a dog, especially in parks or popular walking paths, can be a great icebreaker.
How is eHarmony for meeting older women wanting more than just a fling?
eHarmony is excellent. It has a large user base of older women and has been responsible for many long-term relationships and marriages.
Are dive bars effective places to meet older women?
Yes, especially between 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. These venues are known to attract older women looking for a good time.
Do dance classes help in meeting older women?
Absolutely. Dance classes offer a lot of physical contact and intimacy, making them one of the underrated places to meet women.
Are casinos a good spot to meet older women?
Yes, many older women enjoy the thrill of gambling. Those on an emotional high from the games might be more open to striking up a conversation.
Bedbible Research Center. (2023, September 11). Sex frequency statistics.
Callais, T. (2021). How to book a cruise in 2020.
Johnson, H. (2023). Tips to save money on booking a cruise.
Joy of Dance. (n.d.). Home Page.
Khaddouma, A., Gordon, K. C., & Bolden, J. (2015). Zen and the art of dating: Mindfulness, differentiation of self, and satisfaction in dating relationships. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 4(1), 1–13.
Natural Health Magazine. (n.d.). The bliss effect of yoga.
Yoga Alliance & Yoga Journal. (2016). 2016 Yoga in America study results.
For more than two decades, Tom has dated extensively and studied behavioral psychology as a way of understanding the complexities of human nature until he became an expert. After traveling as a touring musician and living in more than 15 countries, Tom has cross-referenced his experience in seduction, dating, and interpersonal dynamics with the ever-changing landscape of 21st-century dating. His work as a writer has appeared in 500+ publications (digital and print). Tom is also the author of several books (available on Amazon). In his free time, you can find Tom recording music and cooking the best Cincinnati-style chili you’ve ever had.
Dave Perrotta is the founder of PostGradCasanova.com and the author of the best-selling book, Conversation Casanova: How to Effortlessly Start Conversations and Flirt Like a Pro. He’s traveled the world for the past 3 years, meeting and flirting with women of all different ages and cultures.