It's not easy being single. Sure, it has its pros, but let's be honest, a woman's touch is indispensable in a man's life. You can say that living as single is the best thing that's ever happened to you, but deep down, you know you're deluding yourself.
In fact, men who talk like that remind me of Michael Scott from "The Office" who once said:
"Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... Then suddenly she's not your ho no mo'!"
It really hits you in the guts, doesn't it? But you know what's even worse? The fact that the dating world has become extremely cruel over the past few years. Apps like Tinder have changed the game, making it easier and at the same time harder to meet women.
Nowadays, if you want to find the girl of your dreams, you have to up your game, and the first thing you need to know is what are the best places to meet women. And that's what we're going to cover below.
Here's a guide on where to meet women.
Bars and Clubs
Okay, let's start with the obvious spots for meeting women: bars, clubs, and other similar places, like coffee shops. These spots are where all romantic comedies or sitcoms heroes meet their future partners and the places that probably come to your mind first when someone mentions dating.
And to be fair, there are plenty of reasons for that. When it comes to meeting girls at clubs and bars, you're spoilt for choice. After all, they're the center of every city's social life. What's more, when you're in a bar, you can quickly get straight to the point by offering a girl you like a drink or asking her for a dance.
There's one problem, though. The number of single women in bars and clubs isn't as high as most movies show. And even if there are some girls, they're usually in a pack. And in every girls' group, there has to be a chaperone that defends her friends from men.
Still, despite these cons, clubs and bars are perfect places for starting your dating adventure, especially if you're looking for a hookup and not a long and quality relationship.
Online Dating Sites
Online dating sites have turned the dating world upside down. But even though they've been around for some time, their popularity skyrocketed when Tinder began its reign. Since then, nothing has been the same.
Thanks to apps like Tinder, you're able to swipe through millions of users with just one move of your finger. All you need to do is set up an account and wait for a match. And thanks to apps like Bumble, women also make the first move.
Using online dating apps is a fantastic way to meet women. It has some cons, though. First of all, they're full of fake accounts, so you have to be careful while swiping. Secondly, most of them are all about appearance, and it usually takes some time until you get to know the other person.
There are a few sites and apps that stand out:
AFF (if you’re just looking for hookups)
If you don’t feel like you’re ready for that scene just yet, it’s a new world out there and there’s nothing wrong with online dating. If you’re looking for a hookup, AFF should be your go-to. There are so many fake dating websites out there and AFF is one of the biggest, safest names in the industry. Set yourself up a profile, state what it is you’re looking for and take it from there.
The reason I personally prefer this site is that it’s all about finding hookups. While you can use dating apps for that, there’s an added layer of difficulty in there if that’s all you’re looking for. Finding a classy, positive way to say “I just want to hook up” isn’t the easiest way to get started. Instead, you can search their 60 million+ users with very specific filters. Age, location, kink, cup size. . . find exactly what you’re looking for and go for it.
In case you're worried that AFF is like Tinder, it's definitely not. AFF users don't just take one look at your profile and decide which way to swipe. Instead, users find each other through the search function, the very active forums and the comments section of blogs and other posts. So it functions as both a hookup site and a community. And you can bet you'll meet so many girls on AFF!
eHarmony is great for a long-term relationship
If you’re looking for a relationship rather than a hookup, eHarmony is the biggest name in this niche. Because their goal is to set up new relationships, they use a complex algorithm to match you with compatible people. You will have to spend much longer setting up a profile but for a reason. Rather than just swiping left or right to match with people, it’s about who each of you are and what you’re looking for.
Through their long list of questions, they can infer a lot about who you are and match you with suitable candidates. The site then sends you a handful of matches per day. That's better than being bombarded by hundreds of users and filtering out who you think you'll be compatible with. This specialized matching system also helps you stand out more. After all, if a girl receives you as her match, she'll already know you at least have a few things in common.
According to eHarmony, 69% of guys and 71% of girls meet their spouse on eHarmony within a year. Think of it like quality over quantity. In fact, the other mind-blowing stat they share is that 75% of marriages that begin online start with eHarmony!
So before you think online dating won't help you find a girlfriend, try out eHarmony first!
If you’re looking to better your dating life and if you already have a strong network of social circles, you don’t really have to go out meeting women off the streets or the clubs.
You can participate in University activities, use networking sites such as Eventbrite or Meet up, join interest groups or take part in after-work drinks. Earlier when I was in full-time University, I barely bothered with meeting girls through the cold approach method. That’s because there were many social opportunities around me there was no need for me to reach out to the cold market.
The majority of males use the warm market, aka his social circle for dating opportunities.
Social circles are mostly made up of old friends, colleagues, or school friends. Cultivating great social circles is a good strategy for anyone who's patient enough to cultivate and upkeep these social relationships. I personally know of guys who are naturally great a keeping and maintaining different social circles with groups of guys and girls.
If you hit off with a stranger and assume you're someone who got things going for yourself, then just simply ask them if they can join them for that event.
You can simply just say: I'm completely new here, can I join you guys?
To get invited to private parties, events, all you got to do is to just ask. However, before you ask, you can't be a dickhead. This means having an ability to make others feel comfortable and appreciated around you.
If you're looking to start or keep your own social circle, start organising or start joining people for hang out sessions. You can also be the leader of your own social circle. Instead of joining and fitting into other people's social circles? Why not create your own, with the current people you have in your life?
I made this mistake when starting out. I merely put myself in other people's social circles. I resisted the idea of 'bossing others around' initially I disliked the idea that I might be controlling others. However, as I got better at social skills, it's hard not to take note that you're the one that people subtlety look to make decisions, I naturally become more of a social leader.
You can be the one to organize, plan and execute events. This can be your core group of friends that you hang out with on a weekly basis at the bar.
You can start inviting girls and her friends you approach (that aren't romantically available to join you for your event):
'Hey, you're really nice to talk to, let's keep in touch, my friends and I are having drinks this weekend, why don't you come and join us?'
The downside of relying on social circles is that they tend to be extremely limited to the people in the group.
College is THE PLACE to be social, meet new women and it's one of the last times in one's life that you're put in an environment where there's an endless supply of dating opportunities. In hindsight, I regretted not fully taking advantage of my first year in University.
You may choose to ignore your social life and focus on your grades up in University. That might work for you for your grades, however, that's not going to do much for you for your dating life.
There are many that put a lot of weight on academic success and forget that University is one of the last periods of one's life where you get to meet A TON of people in one environment. I'm also surprised that many of these students don't leverage their University platforms to expand their dating pool.
There’s research that our relationships contribute to a huge percentage of our happiness. So yes, loosen up and make new connections. Stop being too cool for school. Joining a co-curricular activity in University is one of the best outlets to expand your dating opportunities, you can join a co-curricular activity that you're interested in.
Other popular locations where you can meet women are parks. Take a walk, sit on the bench and read a book, or go for a run, and if you spot a girl you think you might like, don't hesitate to approach and make conversation.
Sounds simple, right? Well, what makes it challenging is not making the whole situation look awkward. Although the park is a great place to meet women, you can easily ruin your efforts by looking like a creep. To avoid that, make the conversation sound natural and not forced.
Also, a little word of advice; don't approach a woman with a stupid smile on your face. Act natural, and don't be too pushy.
But do you know what the best way to pick up a girl while in the park is? Walking with your dog (if you have one). Dogs are key to any woman's heart. And if no girl approaches you, well, at least you'll spend some quality time with your best friend.
Bookstores and Libraries
Remember the days when men used to believe that you can't meet beautiful women in libraries? What a bunch of nonsense that was. Girls who love reading, aside from being gorgeous, have one significant advantage - they're intelligent.
Of course, I'm not saying that women you meet elsewhere aren't. But let's be honest, there's nothing sexier than seeing a beautiful girl with a Dostoevsky's book in her hand.
What's more, bookstores and libraries are perfect spots for making a natural conversation. You can get to know each other quickly and see whether you share the same literature taste. Talking about books is a great start and a fantastic opportunity to ask the girl for a date.
You can be sure that nothing beats a literature discussion in the coffee shop. Trust me on this one.
It's also a great place for older men to meet younger women without looking creepy.
Museums and Art Galleries
Museums or art galleries are probably not at the top of your “best places to meet women” list. You shouldn't underestimate them, though. First of all, if you're looking for a woman that loves art, they're the only places where you can find them.
Secondly, many universities throw special artistic events, meaning there are many college students, and some of them might be single. And one thing to know about artistic girls is that they're remarkable and aren't afraid to get wild. And if there's a museum or gallery in your town, it's a great place to meet women near you.
Also, similarly to books, art is a fantastic ice-breaker. And you might not know it, but from my experience, women love when a man knows a thing or two about art. It makes him look more approachable and sophisticated. The John Wayne macho era is long gone.
In terms of fun and relaxation, nothing comes close to spending your day at the beach. But that's not the only reason why you should consider going to one. It's hard not to notice that beaches are full of beautiful women, single too. What makes it even better, they're all in bikinis.
With that in mind, the beach is a fantastic place to meet women, especially if you're mostly into looks. What's more, in addition to meeting girls, it's much easier to start a conversation and have fun. You might also find women giving you hints that she wants you to make a move. Just watch out for those.
That's why the next time you're on the beach, don't be afraid to join the volleyball game, especially if good-looking women are participating. It's a fantastic opportunity to show your athleticism and impress the girls.
If you have friends who are getting married soon, their wedding might be a fantastic opportunity to meet someone. You'd be surprised how many women who're at the reception are there for the same reason as you.
A piece of advice. It's a good idea to ask your friends about the single women they invited. Doing that will ensure you know which girl is worth your time and if you're worth hers. And that way, you can plan how you can make your move.
With that in mind, don't hesitate once you get the invite and go. Keep in mind that a wedding is a night-long party on which you don't have to spend a single buck. And if that doesn't convince you, nothing will.
A room full of athletic women in leggings and tight tops. Is it men's heaven? No, it's an average yoga class. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. Still, it's a perfect place to meet women and have fun at the same time.
What's even better, not many men attend yoga classes, meaning you might become the center of attention. Which, to be fair, isn't bad when gorgeous women in tight yoga pants surround you.
And even if you don't find the right woman in a yoga class (which seems impossible), it's still worth attending. When it comes to health benefits, yoga is one of the best exercises you can have, both for your physical and mental well-being.
First of all, if you're single, animal shelters are a fantastic place to find yourself a companion. After all, dogs are man's best friends. What's more, having one makes you more attractive instantly in every woman's eyes.
Secondly, animal shelters really need help, allowing you to do something good for the world, and at the same time, impress women with your compassion. You can be sure that any girl will find you much more appealing once she notices your more gentle side.
Another great thing about pet adoption shelters is that you can spend your day with another person chatting and playing with dogs and cats. And what's the best way to relax after a hard day? A quality dinner and a glass of wine. With the girl, of course.
Sports or Artistic Events
Every guy dreams of a girl who shares his sports interests and has the same music taste. With that in mind, your best chance of finding a woman is at a sports event or concert.
And sure, the chances you meet a single girl among thousands of people aren't too high, but once you do, you're up to the perfect start. Firstly, you clearly see she shares similar interests, which spares you that awkward initial conversation.
Secondly, with the adrenaline and intensity flowing through your veins, it's much easier to find the courage to ask her out for a drink after the concert or game.
Group dance classes
Even if you're not particularly light on your feet group dance classes are a fantastic way to naturally meet new girls. This is especially true for dances like salsa, tango, and swing where you're up close and personal with your partner.
What really makes dance classes great is that it's almost like speed dating. You're paired up with new women every 5 or 10 minutes because you're constantly switching partners. You learn a few steps, talk to your partner a bit, and then switch to a new partner. Once you've done this 5-6 times it becomes more of a free-for-all practice session.
Once the class breaks up it's very easy to either keep talking to your current partner or continue the conversation with the women you danced with previously. As long as you're enjoying yourself and not taking things too seriously it's a great time even if you're not a great dancer.
Giving back to your community is never a bad idea but it's also a pretty solid way to bump into a lot of cute single girls. You need to be smart about the cause and project you volunteer for but it really does work.
We really like organizations and projects that put together big group projects. Things like Habitat For Humanity organize dozens of volunteers to help out altogether in order to build houses for those in need. This means that a lot of people are intermingling and working together for a common cause which is a great environment to meet new people.
Other organizations where it isn't a big group project can also work but they're a little more hit-or-miss. You'll likely be working with specific people longer, which can be great, but you're also more likely to spend a lot of your time with people you don't really click with. It's never wasted time since you're helping out but it isn't as efficient!
If you have a dog or have a friend that could use a dog walker, dog parks can be fantastic ways to meet new people. They combine a lot of people standing around and waiting with the entertainment of dogs playing. It's an environment that naturally lends itself to conversations with strangers and women who love dogs are often a lot of fun!
This is one of the best places to meet girls because everything happens so naturally. People are always talking about their dogs or asking questions about other dogs. This naturally flows into other topics as you stand around for 10-20 minutes while the dogs run around.
As long as you keep the conversation fun and light it can be very easy to meet a few new women every time you walk your dog. Try a few different dog parks in your area to find the best options. Everyone is going to be different and some will definitely have more single women than others.
How to Talk to Girls
Okay, you've learned where to meet women. But do you know how to talk to them so that they don't run away after 2 minutes? The ability to have a quality conversation with a woman is a crucial skill to have. Unfortunately, not all of us are blessed with that gift.
What's more, without learning how to talk to girls, knowing where to meet them doesn't guarantee your success. To make sure you use the knowledge you've learned today efficiently, you also have to find out what and how to say things that will ensure the girl will go for you on a date.
More on that below.
Be Direct and Confident
Let's begin with the thing most men struggle with the most - confidence. And let's face the truth, even a task so simple as approaching a beautiful girl can be challenging. Not to mention asking her for a phone number, or worse, out on a date.
No, my dear friend, if you want a woman to like you, you have to be confident and direct with your intentions. You need to show that you're the man who knows what he's doing to make the right impression.
Sure, some women find clumsy and shy men attractive. But if you want to pick up a girl who sits at the bar, confidence is key.
Keep the Conversation Going
Congratulations! You've started your conversation with a girl. The question is, however. Do you have what it takes to keep it going? To achieve that, you have to gain a woman's interest, and that can be challenging.
The key is to find a connection and stick to it, slowly building it up. Maybe you like the same movies or read a lot of books. Make a conversation about that and try to obtain more information about her.
Throw in a few jokes, share some exciting stories (if you have none, make them up), and remember your body language. If you're saying one thing and don't support it with an appropriate gesture, the girl might think there's something wrong with you.
It might not sound a lot, but women are very sensitive to gestures men make. Keep eye contact, smile, and if she allows, touch her lightly.
Things to Talk About
Your topics will vary depending on the place and the situation you're in. For example, if you're in a bookstore, starting your conversation by saying how much you love sailing isn't the right idea. No, you have to, quoting the famous Bear Grylls' meme, improvise, adapt, overcome.
Of course, some universal topics are good to mention, especially if you want to know her better.
The list includes:
- Culture (movies, books, Netflix, etc.)
- Life goals
Also, don't forget to throw in a couple of compliments along the way. Be careful, though. Too many might seem forced and unnatural.
Let's face the truth guys. Listening to girls is not our strongest suit. You might think you're different, but the amount of information a woman can throw into a sentence is outstanding. That means you have to be careful and listen with caution to what she has to say.
It's crucial, especially if you manage to ask her out and go on your date. If you're capable of mentioning a thing or two she mentioned between the lines during your conversation, she'll be impressed. Why? Because it shows, you care about her life and interests.
Our local guides offer some great SPECIFIC recommendations
We've put together some really solid local guides for a number of major cities. Check them out and see where you should be spending your time in your city:
If you want to meet women in Canada check these out:
If you want to meet girls in Australia check these out:
How to Meet Women You Don’t Know (Super Short Guide)
- The Cold Approach
The cold approach is termed coined from the dating advice community where you just walk up to a girl anytime, anywhere and introduce yourself. Getting good at the cold approach will open up your dating opportunities to almost anyone that's seemingly approachable. You can choose to meet girls on the streets, shopping centers, and just about any daily mundane social situation.
The cold approach is a skill set you need to get down. You’re not going to get good at this on your first couple of tries. This requires practice. Cold approaching is difficult. You’ll need to understand the mechanics of starting a conversation out of nothing.
This isn’t just walking up to any girl, throwing up a bunch of lines, and hoping for it to stick. There’s a process behind it. Here’s my guide on how to approach girls.
- Clubs/ Bars
I’ll categorize meeting girls in clubs/ bars under cold approach similarly. That’s because you’re still attempting to spark something out of nothing.
It safe to say that you're going to get a more open response in clubs. It’s a more socially acceptable action to approach a girl in the club. Women in clubs are expected to be approached. This is true whether be it in Singapore (my home country), or other parts of the world. Clubs are also meant to be meet markets.
The downsides of clubs is that it takes up a lot of time and money. That’s because of the nature of clubs. If you aren’t taking her home on that night itself, you’re going to need to normalize your interaction with her to solidify your lead.
As you can see, women are everywhere. They're not hiding in sewers or caves, so saying that you can't meet any singles is a lousy excuse. You're simply too scared to approach them. And just to be clear, I don't blame you. Meeting women and trying to get them to like you is challenging.
That's why the best idea is to look for girls in places where you feel confident. Think about your strongest suits and use the location as your advantage, because the simple fact is that you can meet women even on the street. You just have to see the chance and grab it (not the girl, the opportunity).
To sum it all up:
- Remember that your confidence is critical.
- Don't think of a girl as a bomb you have to disarm, or worse, as a wild game you have to hunt.
- Think of her as a human being you want to have a chat with.
Only with that approach, you'll sound and look natural.
What are you waiting for, young padawan? Go out and put what you've learned today into practice. The girl of your dreams is out there waiting, but it's up to you to seize the opportunity.
What feels like a lifetime ago now, I used to be very shy and honestly lacked social skills. I felt as though the odds of being able to meet girls was stacked against me for a host of reasons and just didn’t know what to do about it.
Even if this sounds like you, I’ve got eight reasons why things are about to improve for you. One thing I can tell you from experience is that things won’t improve by themselves. So, in this article I’m giving you eight options that’ll start to turn your “luck” around (hint: it has nothing to do with luck).
Nice article here!
I agree with your analysis on AFF. I think people have given up with online dating and Tinder is to blame in my opinion. It's a shame because many men don't realize how amazing online dating can be. You just need the right platform. The only thing I would say is that 'text game' is absolutely crucial from my experience. Love it or hate it, the reality is she's getting flooded with messages every single day. You need to send her unique / interesting messages that almost guarantee a great conversation.
"Remember that your confidence is critical" - will women one day be able to see past what in most case is simply the superficial act of confidence, rather than confidence itself? Confidence in most cases is a blag - especially for single people that are completely out of dating loop
Secondly, this entire opinion piece essentially has no relevance to introverts - so something like 50% of the human population. 🥴👍
People that can approach in all of these social environments AREN'T THE PEOPLE THAT NEED HELP OR ADVICE.
I tried the tricks of trying to strike up a conversation on buses, trains and the like. It did reach the stage of exchanging numbers but was more like without purpose. In the end the online dating apps worked better for me, I was able to chat with women on meetoutside and that helped me to meet quite a few of them. It is about following what works for you.