One question that you may have had in mind for some time is should a woman make the first move – especially if she’s older.
Conventional advice suggests that men are the ones to lead and make the all-important first move in just about every context.
But is this true?
The short answer to this question is that it depends.
Generally speaking, men should make the first move most of the time.
And that’s not a bad thing at all.
Knowing how to and more importantly when to make the first move is a valuable skill that increases your attractiveness to women.
Especially older women, because they appreciate a man that knows what he’s doing.
With that said, there are certain situations where you should allow the woman to make the first move.
It’s important to know when you should take the lead, and when you should allow her to make a move on you – even if it’s subtle.
When you’re together with an older woman, it’s crucial to understand when you should or shouldn’t make a bold move. Picking up women is no easy task, especially if you're either inexperienced or she's crazy hot. This is why it's important to know exactly what to do.
This is true if you are meeting her for the first time in a bar or if you took our advice and tried online dating (check out our list of the best dating sites for meeting older women if you are curious).
While mistakes will naturally occur from time to time, it’s in your best interest to make the right decisions as often as possible.
To help you better understand which situations you should or shouldn’t make the first move, let’s examine five common scenarios where you’ll naturally consider making a move on an older woman.
Whether you met her at a club, work, through a mutual friend, or online dating is irrelevant.
At some point you’ll be looking to ask her out on a date.
And that’s a first move that you must always make.
It’s rare that women will be the ones to ask you out directly. So it's pointless to constantly ask yourself, "does she want me to make the first move?" Because 90% of the time, the answer is yes.
You’re probably familiar with this already – waiting for her to ask you out is usually an exercise in futility.
But that doesn’t mean that women don’t give you signals that they want to go out with you.
They certainly do, but it’s up to you to pick up on them and follow through.
So when it comes to asking the other out on a date, should a woman make the first move?
Generally speaking, no.
It’s better to do it yourself.
Flirting however is an example of a situation where you can allow the woman to make the first move. Even if you're at a place where meeting girls is easy, chances are women usually give you little hints.
Even if it’s subtle, this is a time where it sometimes pays to flirt back only after she’s given you a green light.
Of course flirting is very general, and each occasion is entirely unique.
But if there’s an attractive older woman that you haven’t yet met in your workplace, in your fitness class, or assisting you at a service desk, allow her to make the first move if she’s interested.
It could be banter, a more-than-friendly smile, or highly pleasant conversation.
When you recognize any of these unfolding, allow her to lead it, and capitalize when you’re given the opportunity.
Eye contact can be considered an extension of flirting, but it still deserves its own mention because it’s such an important concept. It could be the first type of contact you get from a woman when you're at some of the places women frequent.
Eye contact can be powerful.
It can establish the sort of chemistry that is remembered long afterwards, even if it lasted mere seconds with a stranger.
Naturally, you’ll look to make eye contact with the attractive older women you come across.
On these occasions, it can benefit you to allow them to take the lead.
Don’t repeatedly look at women from across the room, especially when you're meeting women at a bar; look for the women that are repeatedly looking at you.
Of course this is an example and it may not apply to your day-to-day life.
But when it does happen, make a note of the women that made that first move on you through eye contact.
Ideally, you’ll follow up soon afterwards.
Should a woman make the first move when it comes to the first kiss?
The short answer is no.
It’s unlikely that a woman will ever initiate the first kiss, and hoping that she does will almost always lead to disappointment.
Even if she really likes you.
Women will rarely (if ever) be the ones to initiate the first kiss.
The responsibility of making the first kiss happen on a date rests on you.
Moreover, it’s normal to feel nervous – it’s actually a good thing.
Being nervous tells you that the woman you’re with is a good match for you, and if you’ve arrived at a point where you’re considering making this move on her it probably means that the feeling is mutual.
There can’t be chemistry without tension.
So enjoy the moment and make the move when it feels right.
(And not necessarily “perfect.”)
Taking her back to your place or going to her home for the first time is certainly a bold move.
But there’s no need to fret.
Instead of worrying about when you should try to escalate beyond kissing on your dates, focus on enjoying your dates to the fullest.
Trying to rush the process of taking her home can be risky.
It’s better to rely on your gut feeling, as opposed to worrying about when you should make the move.
With that said, this can be an occasion where the woman makes the first move.
Her inviting you back to her place for a drink or to do some activity is clearly when she’s taking the lead.
Alternatively, you could try to schedule a second or third date at your place.
Prepare a meal together and have a few glasses of wine.
But don’t expect her to be the one to suggest these plans.
If the chemistry between you is strong, and your dates have gone well, you can expect her to be interested for sure.
“Should a woman make the first move?” is a question that may come to mind in different situations, especially when you’re dating older women. However, it can also come up if you're looking for women who like older men.
When it comes to asking her out, going for the first kiss, or inviting her to your place, you should be initiating most of the time.
When it comes to flirting and eye contact however, there are many situations where you should allow older women to make the first move.
Just be sure to try and make the most of the situations where she initiates.