How To Get A Girl To Have Sex With You (Guide For Average 2023 Guys)

Guy who can get a girl

Knowing how to get a girl to have sex with you might just be one of the first things you want to learn when you start dating. After all, sex doesn’t just fall into anyone’s lap (literally). And you need to learn some ways to get her in the mood so that she’ll gladly go home with you. 

In this guide, I’ll show you how to enhance her attraction, make her feel comfortable, and get her in that sexy, steamy mindset that will make your date even hotter. It’s not that hard to learn how to sleep with a girl, but it does require some practice. I’ll also outline a few ways you can get a girl to sleep with you if you’re already dating or if you’re on your first date.

Most of what you need to do is show them you’re an awesome guy, and then do certain seductive things to make them horny. With that said, plenty of guys have trouble understanding how to get a girl in bed. That’s why this guide will show you exactly what you need to do to succeed.

Here’s exactly how to get a girl to have sex with you

Keep in mind that there are some women who are just looking for a good time without the commitment. You can find lots of them on our favorite apps to find women who just want no-strings-attached sexual encounters.

To successfully seduce and have sex with a girl, you need to accomplish several very important things. Here are the specific steps for how to get a girl to sleep with you:

  1. Get her to like you,
  2. Attract her,
  3. Connect with her,
  4. Create sexual tension.

If you follow all of these crucial steps, you’ll have no problem with getting laid. These steps are the core of how to get a girl to sleep with you. It doesn’t matter if you just met, you’re already seeing each other or you’re already in a committed relationship. These are the fundamentals of actually getting a girl into bed with you.

I’ll cover each step below in detail, so you have an idea why they’re important and exactly how they work. So buckle up and read every word because you’re in for a treat!

Oh, and if you have problems with approaching women and getting dates in the first place. Then we’ve created a very informative video course on how to approach and attract women with ease.

Get her to like you

Woman on a couch smiling at a manThis step is the most important one. She actually has to like you to want to sleep with you. And everything else builds upon this.

So how do you get her to like you?

Basically, when you meet a girl and talk to her, you should just focus on having a fun time with her and nothing else… At least for now.

This seems very simple, right?

But you wouldn’t believe just how many guys there are out there who can’t relax enough around women to just have a great time. These guys only imagine the part where the girl has sex with them, and their ulterior motive immediately becomes so obvious.

They think that in order to make women like them, they have to do something special. They think they need to impress the girl, brag about their accomplishments or do crazy stunts to get her attention.

But the truth couldn’t be more different.

I’m sure you know the iconic phrase that says “Girls just want to have fun!”

It’s well-known for a very good reason. So when you’re around hot girls, just treat them as you would your good friends. Focus less on trying to impress her and more on having fun with her. This could be through interesting conversation, an activity you can both do or going on an adrenaline-filled date.

This will lift an enormous amount of pressure off your shoulders and will help you be your natural, charming self around her.

Because with this mindset, even if you don’t end up having sex with the girl, at least you still had a great time. If you're still trying to FIND her, check out our article here on how to find a hookup fast.

The Hookup Apps That Actually Work For Guys

Whether you're looking for your first hookup or are more experienced there are a few apps that tend to give regular guys the best results. These are the ones that our dating coaches have seen guys consistently have the best results with:

Best For Long-Term Relationships
eHarmony Highlights
eHarmony Highlights
  • Easily the best option for long-term relationships
  • 75% of all online marriages start here
  • 70% of users meet their spouse within a year
  • In-depth signup and matching process
Best App For Hookups Right Now
AFF Highlights
AFF Highlights
  • The best way to meet singles for hookups by far
  • Best results for regular guys
  • Over 60 million active members
  • Free trial to check it out
Good If You Really Have It Together
Tinder Highlights
Tinder Highlights
  • A very good option if you're very attractive
  • Top 5-10% of guys get solid results
  • Free to try
  • Can be very frustrating for regular guys

Attract her

spark some attraction in herAfter you spend some time with her and you see she already likes you, you need to spark some attraction.

You do this by flirting. How you flirt is up to you. But if you’re new at this, then I highly suggest you read the guide on how to flirt with women before you attempt anything.

Here’s what pretty much all women respond to very powerfully: Teasing, sending mixed signals, challenges, ruffling their feathers playfully and being physical with them.

When I go out with women on dates, I make sure to do everything I just mentioned above. It’s just so effective, and it actually makes the whole interaction fun. It kind of incorporates the whole first step of getting her to like you while also building the all-important attraction.

New course

I especially enjoy teasing women when I’m talking to them but in a very playful way. This builds attraction really quickly because it shows that I’m not afraid to make fun of them. It shows that I’m not trying too hard to impress them.

As a result, they think I’m a guy who’s not desperate for approval.

Connect with her

A woman who needs a connection to have sex with youNext, you need to get to know her on a deeper level.

You see, if you truly want to know how to get a girl to sleep with you, then you should know how to gain her trust.

Remember when I said that girls won’t have sex with you if they don’t like you? Well, they sure won’t sleep with you if they don’t trust you either!

So how do you create this trust?

Focus on getting to know her as a person and finding out interesting things about her. And then compliment her on the truly admirable things you have learned out about her personality.

For example, after spending some time getting to know her, maybe you found out she’s very caring. Tell her that it’s something you admire in a partner. Or maybe you learned that she’s an artist. You can tell her that her artwork is interesting and unique.

As long as you genuinely like the things you find out about her, let her know! Your compliments will make her more fond of you. She’ll then want to cherish her connection with you.

She would also want to know that you like her for more than just her looks. While some women are okay with being liked for their looks, a lot more prefer to be liked for who they are as a person. And when she learns that you like her for who she is, she will learn to trust you.

If she suspects you only like her for her body, she’ll be more hesitant to sleep with you. It would be easy for her to think that you’ll just use her to get laid.

So getting to know her while building trust is a vital step of how to get a girl in bed.

Create sexual tension

Woman creating sexual tension with a manWe’re now at the final step, which will determine if you’ll ultimately succeed or fail at having sex with a girl.

Sexual tension is massively important because it won’t matter how much the girl likes you and trusts you. If there’s no sexual spark between the two of you, she won’t become aroused and horny enough to sleep with you.

Men who fail to ignite sexual tension with women frequently end up being stuck in the friend zone.

So, if your goal is to fully learn how to get a girl to sleep with you, then you must become a master at creating and maintaining this all-important sexual chemistry.

So how do you do that, exactly?

Well, there are two main ways: The non-verbal one and the verbal one.

For the best and most consistent results, you should combine both of them.

Now, assuming you’ve done everything above correctly and made the girl like you and trust you, here’s how you create the tension.

Non-verbal sexual tension

Sexy woman in black lookingTo ignite sexual tension in a non-verbal way, you use your physicality and eye contact. Your physicality is the cornerstone of any successful seduction.

You should establish that you’re a physical guy right from the start. Touch her throughout your whole interaction given a good opportunity. Touch her arm when you make a point. Hold her hand when you’re descending stairs. Or if you think she’ll let you, tuck her hair behind her ears.

Once she has gotten used to you being touchy, take it up a notch.

As your date progresses, you should start touching her in less friendly and more sensual ways. This means massaging her lightly and sensually. Touch her neck or her ears as you give her a compliment. And when you can, wrap your arm around her. Eventually, you should both be all over each other.

Eye contact, on the other hand, is an even more powerful tool which is proven to increase desire in people. It also increases feelings of closeness and intimacy, no matter how well you know each other.

When you’re close to her, look into her eyes and hold the gaze. Then give her a warm, genuine smile as you look deeply into her eyes. Notice the color and the intricate detail within. Get lost in her beauty and enjoy it.

She’ll be fascinated by this and will most likely do the same and look into your eyes as well.

Eventually, you’ll feel an interesting sensation and an even deeper connection than before. When that happens, move in closer and kiss her.

Talk about naughty things

Woman who wants to hear dirty talkThe verbal way to create sexual tension is to talk about various spicy subjects.

The point is to show her you’re completely comfortable with sex. Show her that you’re not ashamed of your sexuality. Let her know that you find sex to be a completely normal and natural subject to talk about.

This shows her you’re entirely nonjudgmental when it comes to sex. It also gets her thinking about the subject in general.

And when she starts thinking about sex, she’ll eventually start thinking about what it would be like to have sex with you. After all, you did bring those ideas into her head.

In any event, there are lots of different ways to introduce sexual topics into your conversations.

You can begin by telling various stories or anecdotes where something sexy has happened. This can involve either you, your friends, or even other people you’ve heard about.

You can also ask her various sexual questions like if she has ever kissed another girl. Ask her the craziest and most unusual place she had sex in. Make her choose between having sex before going to sleep or after waking up.

Use your imagination and make the topics fun and intriguing, as long as they are somewhat sexual.

For example, I often start by telling an amusing story from my life when I stumbled upon my roommate having a threesome with his best friend’s twin sisters. This story is funny, provocative and pretty raunchy but entertaining nonetheless. It often leads to discussions about witnessing friends having sex, threesomes, and voyeurism.

Use the sexual tension to have sex with a girl

Woman waiting for you to make a moveAfter you’ve built up enough sexual tension to arouse her desires and make her horny, you need to make your move.

You’ll see it in her eyes and mannerisms that she’s horny and ready to have sex with you. You will notice how she positions her body close to yours. Her hands will always be touching you. She might accidentally-on-purpose brush her breast against your arm. She might also look at you longingly as she licks her lips.

You can then suggest going to a more private spot like your place. Or if you’re already at your place, you can kiss her as your hands wander all over her body. Then you can intensify your kiss and make out as you take her clothes off.

If you’ve done everything correctly up to this point, she’ll be waiting for you to do this and will probably even encourage it herself. It doesn't matter if she wants a one night stand or a relationship, the sexual tension will have her wanting you in no time.

H apps promo

How to Sleep with a Girl You’re Dating

Okay, so let’s say you already have a girl in your life, and she’s fantastic. You get along, you know she really likes you and you’re ready to make your relationship physical. How can you sleep with a girl you’re already dating?

Amp up the sexual tension

The next time you see each other, be a little more touchy. Hold her hand, kiss her when she’s not expecting it, and try to touch her any chance you can get. This increases the sexual tension between you even more, and she might even be the one to suggest that you go back to your place or hers.

Keep in mind that not all women are as open to having sex on the fly. Some need to have an actual conversation about the logistics. You might think it kills the romance and spontaneity, but it’s what some women are comfortable with. You can start by talking about sex in general: what turns her on, things she’d like to try, etc.

Then you can suggest how you can get it on by...

Making a date out of it

You’ve talked about sex and she seems open to the idea. Now you want things to go as smoothly as possible. So plan a romantic date where you can engage in some foreplay outside the bedroom. Invited her to a romantic dinner, go dancing, engage in some sports with lots of physical contact.

Then suggest checking in to a nice hotel together if she’s into it. If not, you can suggest having the romantic dinner at home and you can take care of the dessert!

Choose a special occasion

If your girlfriend is a little more demure and conservative, she might be waiting for a special occasion to sleep with you. No problem there, though you need to be patient. Wait for the perfect occasion, one where spirits are high and you get to spend time together. Then try to turn her on.

Possible occasions can include your anniversary (if you can last that long without sleeping with her), your half-year anniversary, her birthday, your birthday or a holiday that you can spend together.

How to Get a Girl to Sleep with You on the First Date

You can consider the above to be the fundamental tips of attraction. Without these, you’ll always be struggling with how to get a girl in bed. Once you’ve got these fundamentals in place, you will be able to attract women to sleep with you eventually.

However, if you’re aiming to get a girl to sleep with you on the first date, you’ll often need a few other tricks up your sleeve.

If a woman is attracted to you, she will often want to sleep with you on the first date. The problem is: society makes them feel cheap and easy for doing so. Women don’t want to look this way, especially to a man they’re considering dating for a longer period.

So, even if it’s going well, they’ll do all they can to resist sleeping with you on the first date.

Luckily, it’s possible for a man to bring a woman home and sleep with her, without making her feel cheap. The key is to do so in a smooth and innocent way, so it feels like sex "just happened" spontaneously. This is crucial to sleeping with a woman on the first date.

So, let’s now explore the three crucial steps that make a woman feel this way. 

Organize a date close to your place

When you take her somewhere close to your place, it becomes less of a commitment for her to go there with you later.

If she has to get in a vehicle with you for a long time, it’s going to be tougher for her to justify going back with you. But if your place is within walking distance from wherever you are, it’ll seem like no big deal.   

There might not be any amazing date venues that are walking distance from your home. That doesn’t matter. Hopefully, there’s at least some sort of bar or cafe, which you can talk up enough to convince her to meet you there.

A date with a mediocre venue and great sex is far more memorable than a fancy and unique venue but no physical connection. 

H apps promo


Have an innocent excuse to go back to yours

If you ask a woman to come back to your place and have sex, she’ll deny this offer almost every time. Remember, she doesn’t want to seem easy. You might even get a slap in the face for your troubles.

However, if she’s attracted to you and you offer an innocent excuse for her to come back with you, she’s far more likely to agree. 

  • You could invite her back to watch a stand-up comedy special; 
  • Perhaps you have some great wine or cocktails at your place;
  • Maybe you have an amazing view on your balcony. 
  • If you want to show her your pets, your guitar or any other unique item, that could work too. 

The truth is: if she likes you, almost any excuse will work.

She knows you’re probably going to try and have sex with her. You know it too. But this innocent excuse allows her to tell herself that it “just happened”.   

Casually invite her back on a high point in the date

Whatever excuse you have planned to invite her back to yours, it’s a nice idea to casually mention it half-way through the date. Don’t invite her just yet. Just let her know about this awesome thing at your house, so she can get used to the idea that you might invite her later.

Then, at a more suitable time after you two have got better acquainted, you can casually suggest that you go to check out that awesome thing for a little while.

By the way, this strategy works even better if you haven’t been making out and groping each other at the date venue. This makes it easier for her to lie to herself that you’re not necessarily going to have sex. 

How to Get a Girl in Bed if You’ve Just Met

Ideally, this awesome thing that you took the woman home to see is set up in your bedroom. Then, you have a perfect excuse to lead her there.

If not, you might need another reason to take her there, even if it’s something as vague as “Hey, let me show you something awesome in here.”

Once you’re in the bedroom, this is the ideal time for a first kiss. By holding back from kissing her at the date venue, you create more sexual tension, which can cause her to explore by the time your lips finally touch. 

When you do it like this, don’t be surprised if this first kiss leads to sleeping with each other very quickly. 

Learning how to get a girl to have sex with you isn’t that hard if you know how to make her attracted to you. It’s up to you to go and practice these moves, so you can almost always guarantee that your date will want to sleep with you and feel great about it afterwards.

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One Comment

  • probably

    Wow slow down, please!
    How about answering "What is there to like about girls?" for starters.

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