Knowing where to meet women for sex can be extremely tricky. Finding them depends a lot on where you are and what your approach is. In this article, we’ll walk you through the best ways to meet women who love sex. But first, if you haven’t tried online dating to find hookups, here are the top options we’ve tried that actually work:
Site Our Experience Our Rating Free Trial Link 
Experience Highlights Try AFF For Free 
Experience Highlights Try eHarmony 
Experience Highlights Try Passion
It’s no secret that men love sex. “Sex is the driving force on the planet,” Playboy founder Hugh Hefner said in a quote that has become famous for its subtle truth.
If you have a very high sexual appetite, then it’s very useful to learn how to meet women who love sex as much as you do.
Having a relationship where you’re completely sexually satisfied by your partner is very important. Unfortunately, not every woman will have a sexual appetite as voracious as yours.
In fact, a YouGov poll has suggested that only 9% of American women want to have sex every day.
So, to be happy in your relationship, it’s a good idea to find and meet women who like to hook up and do it as often as you.
There are great ways to find these women if you know where to look. And if you’re just after a casual hookup, there are also plenty of women who just want sex and nothing else.
Methodology: How We Determined the Best Places to Find Women Who Love Sex
| Methodology | Our Process |
| Rigorous Testing | Conducting thorough reviews of dating apps and websites through extensive use over weeks/months. |
| Anecdotal Experience | Utilizing the practical experiences of a large team of dating and relationship coaches. |
| Expertise | Leveraging decades of practice in the dating scene to provide up-to-date and impactful advice. We balance subjectivity in an objective framework to give our readers a more holistic frame of reference for modern dating. |
| Continuous Learning | Exploring new approaches to dating success to ensure advice remains relevant and effective. This includes out-of-the-box thinking to discover new trends and hacks. |
| Online Focus | We place a significant focus on how online dating and virtual communication affect modern dating dynamics. From apps, sites, chat rooms, video calls - we delve deep into the pros and cons. |
| User Engagement | Engaging with readers to comment and share their experiences to build a vibrant community, enhance trust, and ultimately create a better dating experience. |
| Local Insights and Regular Updates | Integrating local insights into Calgary's physical venues like bars, clubs, and events, while ensuring regular updates to reflect the changing nature of the city's dating hotspots. |
| Safety and Privacy Considerations | Emphasizing the importance of safety and privacy in both online interactions and physical meetups, particularly for casual encounters. |
| Community Feedback and Interaction | Valuing and incorporating feedback from Calgary's dating community to ensure our recommendations resonate with actual user experiences and expectations. |
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Where to look for women who love sex
Where does an average guy find women who like to hook up? The answer may surprise you.
No, it’s not a nightclub, a high-end bar or even a dive-bar.
As good as nightclubs are for meeting girls who want to party and hook up with guys, it’s not the best place. Because it’s not the '90s anymore and women don’t frequent these places as much as they did before. In fact, lots of women go to clubs just to dance and flirt with guys while leaving them hanging.
The real answer is hook-up sites. These are online dating websites focused on men and women only seeking casual sex.
I’m an experienced dating coach who has spent years mastering the art of seducing women - both online and offline. I’ve taught countless men how to do the same. I’ve got no agenda against women in the real world; I personally enjoy that process more! But when I want to quickly find a sexually open woman for a steamy hook-up I head straight to the internet.
There are 366 million people using dating apps across the world, based on Statista data and that number is forecast to keep growing. Some 30% of Americans have tried online dating, according to Pew Research, and more than a quarter have used dating apps for casual relationships.
The best hookup sites and apps have literally thousands of women waiting to talk to men. Whereas you’ll often find only a dozen or so frequenting a bar, and that’s on a good night. We have done an exhaustive test and review of the hookup apps that actually work for normal guys and there are a few worth your time.
Plus, if your goal is to find women who are really into sex, you can’t just go up to all of them and ask them if they’re looking to hook up. Women would only mention that once they’re already comfortable talking to you.
It’s nearly impossible to find this out if you’re approaching women at bars and clubs, unless you’re willing to spend hours chatting to each and every one of them. That doesn't mean it's a bad idea. In fact, we have put together a great guide on where to find quick hookups in most neighborhoods.
Why dating sites are perfect for meeting women who like to get busy
Let's get one thing out of the way: just because a woman loves sex, doesn't mean she's only looking for hookups. Plenty of healthy, serious relationships have a strong foundation in amazing chemistry in the bedroom. With that said, you shouldn't just limit yourself to the usual hookup apps and sites if you're looking for a woman whose idea of a good time is strictly behind closed doors!
Like I mentioned earlier, chemistry is hard to come by these days, and you're not going to get it by just asking for nudes and hoping to get lucky. You want to make the most out of technology and the dating pool by finding a dating app that helps you find your ideal match. For us, this has always been eHarmony.
eHarmony prides itself on an undefeated matchmaking algorithm that puts other dating apps to shame. With an extensive signup questionnaire that gets to know all of its users, eHarmony connects singles who are compatible in every area you can think of--from career goals to wanting kids to hobbies to (you guessed it) sex!
No other dating app out there is as thorough and advanced as eHarmony when it comes to matching up compatible singles. If you're serious about finding your perfect match (both inside and outside the bedroom), eHarmony is the dating app you should be using!
Need more info on how eHarmony works for a regular guy? We’ve created an eHarmony review where you can see how the site works, how you can meet people, and how you might one day find love online!
What people are saying about eHarmony:
Melinda Lofthaus - Quora
“It did for me and my now husband of 6 years (we met in our late 20s). Before eharmony I used all the dating apps for years and only met jerks who didn’t want a committed relationship, so I thought I’ll give eharmony a shot. My first date on eharmony is now my husband. They really did a great job matching our personalities and humour. Also the fact that people pay to be on there means most people are committed/ serious so much fewer jerks than on the swiping apps.”
Mohandas Shettigar - TrustPilot
"Profiles are quite genuine. If eharmony suspects the user they block them. A touch expensive but I think this is the best dating app I have used."
Mirwais Sherani - TrustPilot
"I really find eHarmony one of the best app there are a lot of apps similar just I recommending only eHarmony please avoid from other apps because you will find scammer just using women pictures.
How to meet women who love sex
Now that you know the “where” part, it’s time to learn how to actually go about meeting these women.
As simple as I may have made it out to be when talking about finding women who love sex, it’s actually not as easy as it sounds.
The reason I say this is that you still have to approach the whole thing with a bit of tact and a strategy.
Otherwise, you’ll end up scaring many women away because you may look like a sexual degenerate who’s only after one thing. And trust me, women don’t like men who are desperate to get laid. Desperation is one of the biggest attraction killers in dating and seduction.
So how do you approach these things with tact?
Here’s what you do:
- Don’t make your first message overly sexual.
- Focus on flirting, friendly banter, teasing and having fun.
- Get to know her and tell her what what you’re looking for in a date.
These steps don’t take a long time to go through. And if you follow them, you’ll usually find out pretty quickly if she’s the right woman for you.
The Hookup Apps Dating Coaches Recommend Most
Here at Beyond Ages, we’ve tested hundreds of online dating services, using a detailed and consistent methodology. Each app we review is tested by a seasoned dating expert like me. We will get aquainted with the app for several weeks, using the same generic photos, bio, demographics and opening lines each time. We’ll send messages to 50 women and base our verdicts on how many respond and how easy it is to arrange meetings.
Whether you're looking for your first hookup or are more experienced there are a few apps that tend to give regular guys the best results. These are the ones that our dating coaches have seen guys consistently have the best results with:
| Site | Our Experience | Our Rating | Free Trial Link |
|---|---|---|---|
Best Hookup Site For MILFs | Experience Highlights
| 9 | Try AFF For Free |
Best For Relationships | Experience Highlights
| 9 | Try eHarmony |
2nd Best For Hookups | Experience Highlights
| 8 | Try Passion |
In my experience, there is no hookup app more effective than AFF. This service was founded in the late nineties and has built a user base of tens of millions sex-positive men and women.
The website is designed like a social media network, where you can post dirty photos, video and status updates for other people to view and comment on. The search function allows you to find other horny AFF users in your area with the same kinks and fetishes as you. From there, you can view their content, send DMs and arrange to meet up.
Some 43% of online dating users complain about not receiving enough messages, according to Pew Research data, but that won’t be a problem with AFF. I’ve used this website in several locations across the world and have always found it easy to locate an abundance of sexually ravenous vixens nearby. What’s more, my response rate on AFF is higher than any other hook-up website and the women here are usually keen to get down to business after only a few messages sent back and forth.
To give you a more detailed look at how AFF works and how it performs for regular guys, you can also have a look at our Adult FriendFinder review.
To give you a more detailed look at how AFF works and how it performs for regular guys, you can also have a look at our Adult FriendFinder review.
AFF is currently running a free trial, so now is the best time to explore it yourself. Click here to get started with your AFF free trial.
What Other Users Say About Adult Friend Finder:
u/Adventure4me2 - Reddit
“I met a couple women who were looking for companionship and a couple others looking for a friend with benefits. Stay classy, use your charm and wit. They want someone who is safe, comfortable and fun. Not always in that order.”
Dave Bro - Trustpilot
“I went on this site to find Some friends to paint my models with… well it did not disappoint!! I found 3 lovely European ladies that were into airfix in my area.”
J.Eastwood - Trustpilot
“I have been a member of Adult Friend Finder for about 5 years, with a little time off. Though it has changed over the years, it is still a nice place to meet people.”
How To Connect With Sexually Open Women
Don’t come on too strong too early
The first step is arguably the most important one. It can spell the difference between getting an answer or being ignored right from the start.
If your first message is something blatant like “Want to get together?” or “You’re so gorgeous I want to meet you and bang your brains out!” you’ll probably either get ignored or get blocked.
“Sure, women love men who are assertive, but assertive and aggressive are completely opposite things,” explains dating writer Stephanie Yang. “As a man, you really have to know how to read all of the signs and anticipate just the right timing to make your moves.”
Women on online dating sites get some variation of such a lewd and overly sexual message hundreds of times a day. They promptly label the guy a thirsty creep, delete the message and ignore him.
So be a little bit tactful, and start off with a simple heartfelt and appropriate compliment with your introduction. Look at her profile and her pictures. See what genuinely catches your eye about her. Then write her a personal message, complimenting her on the specific thing you liked about her.
Say something like, “Oh, cool, you’re into Game of Thrones. You have good taste :)”
This will usually get you in the door quicker than if you sent something dull like “Hey what’s up?”
Some 38% of men open online conversations with an equivalent of “Hi,” or “How are you” and nothing else, according to a Beyond Ages study. A further 31% supposedly write a generic compliment like “you’re beautiful.” So it doesn’t take much to stand out.
The point is to be unique with your first message and to give her a compliment that is genuinely thoughtful.
That said, you obviously won’t get an answer from all women. Some of them simply won’t like you. That is perfectly fine as everyone’s entitled to their own tastes.
In that case, just move on and message someone else. There are literally thousands of other prospects to choose from!
Flirt and have fun with her
This step is pretty self-explanatory, so there’s not much to say here except that you should be your charming self, have a bit of fun with her and make sure to flirt.
Too many guys make the mistake of being excruciatingly boring when talking to women online. They live in fear of sending a message that comes off as too forward or offensive or presumptuous.
They write simple one-question messages. And when they get a reply, they ask another question. And then another, and another, until the girl gives up and stops replying due to sheer boredom and exasperation.
So instead of doing what a lot of unsuccessful guys do, focus on having a fun, funny or witty conversation instead. This involves some flirting, friendly banter, teasing, telling various jokes, etc.
Basically, show you have some personality. Let her know that you’re interested in having a fun time with her, both online and offline. This will show her you’re a decent, friendly and fun guy and that you’re not just after using her as a piece of meat. Then she’ll have no problems with sharing personal stuff with you. She might even want to have sex with you right then and there!
That brings me to my next point.
Get to know her and learn what you need
During this final step, you’ll figure out if she fits your standards. You’ll also make sure she’ll want to meet you later for a date. You might also learn if she's one of those women who love sex as much as you do.
That’s because for women to want to meet you and to talk about sex with you, they have to trust you first.
Sure, some women will talk about naughty subjects and engage in sexting without any trust at all. But usually, these interactions will stay online because women won’t want to meet you in person, even if you're having a great time online.
So if you want to actually meet women who like to bang from online dating, you’ll have to earn their trust. The best way to do that is to show an interest in who they are as people.
You do this by sharing your mutual interests. Eventually, you can talk about deeper topics to find out their passions and their dreams. You might even learn about her whole life story if she trusts you enough. Opening up about this is a huge sign she already trusts you.
That’s when you can start making the conversation more sexual. This will be the perfect opportunity to figure out if she’s into sex as much as you are.
But the beauty of the whole thing is that you’ll be able to have this conversation with many different women at a time. So you’re sure to find at least a few who’ll be perfect for you.
Meeting women who just want sex
The last thing I want to mention is how to meet women who simply want to have sex with no strings attached. These are ladies who don’t want anything serious with anyone and are just looking to get laid. These women just want a one night stand because it's fun.
Trust me, there are plenty of women who are after just sex and nothing else. They might even be so upfront about it that they’ll mention it in their profile.
Even if they’re upfront about it, you can’t just say you wanna hook up and run. Instead, say something like you’re looking to spend a great night with a wonderful woman, but you’re not looking for anything serious. You can give a reason, and it can be anything, to be honest. You can say you’re just not being ready for a relationship or that you’re not going to be staying in town for long.
The reason doesn’t matter because the only thing that really matters is that you’re completely upfront about what you want.
Just be direct about what you want
Simply put, there are other people who are looking for similar things you’re looking for. And the best way to find them to simply let them know you’re also up for the same thing: whether that's a casual fling, a one night stand or hooking up where you won't get caught.
My favorite line to say is the following: “I’m not really looking for anything serious. And I’m not just after mindless sex either because I actually have to like the person to want to sleep with them. But so far I see you’re amazing and I’d like to meet you tonight. Who knows where things may lead. But one thing I know for certain, we’re going to have a wonderful time together!”
This leaves everything pretty much ambiguous. And it lets her know you’re open to both serious relationships and casual sex. This line works on women who want both and neither because it leaves everything open to “fate” so to speak. Or as I like to call it “Whatever happens, happens!”
“Always ask for what you want, when you want it,” says dating expert Marni Kinrys “It won’t be rude, or aggressive if you say it with confidence and boldness.”
Now you know where and how to meet women who love sex. As well as those who are just looking to get laid and nothing else.
Internet dating has opened up a whole world of opportunities for people looking to get intimate with someone. So don’t miss out on this, and join all the other people who are already having fun meeting new people for a steamy date.
How To Stay Safe On Hookup Apps
Scams and catfishing are very common on hook-up apps, especially the bad ones. Follow these tips to stay safe when searching for casual encounters online.
- Keep your profile blank for 24 hours. We do this whenever we test a new hook-up app. If your blank profile is flooded with messages, that’s a surefire sign the website is using bots to trick you into spending more money.
- Look for verified profiles. If your hook-up app of choice allows users to go through a verification process to prove they are the person in their photos, look out for that. There’s nothing wrong with asking someone to verify their profile if they haven’t yet done it.
- Gather more information. I recommend adding your online dating matches on social media and arranging a video call before you meet for a date. This will allow you to confirm whether they have been representing themselves accurately online.
- Don’t send money to online strangers. Promise yourself you’ll never break this rule in any circumstances. Every year, millions of dollars are lost to scammers who tricked online dating users into believing they had a real bondand desperately needed money. “A critical thing to know is that virtually everyone can be scammed,” said Tim McGuiness of the Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams. “It’s only a question of the right grooming and right story.”
- Practice safe sex. Many hook-up app users will find genuine women looking for fast casual sex. In such a case, it’s so important to always practice safe sex. Only 19% of American men use a condom every time they have sex, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. No wonder sexually-transmitted diseases are so rife in the United States. “Putting on a condom needs to be as normalized as washing your hands or putting on a seat belt,” says sex therapist Renée D. Burwell. “Just because you trust the person driving a car doesn’t mean you don’t wear a seat belt.”
Frequently Asked Questions About Hookup Apps
How many online dating websites are there in the United States?
A recent report by Forbes suggested there are 2,500 online dating services available in the United States, with as many as 1,000 new apps being created every year.
Is it easy to get laid using dating apps?
Many men have found success organising sexual encounters using dating apps. However, it’s key to choose a reliable hook-up app and create an attractive profile.
Are a lot of people using dating apps to hook up?
Some 26% of dating app users are looking for non-committal fun, according to data published by Healthy Framework. Meanwhile an Adam and Eve survey suggests 70% of Americans have had a one-night stand at least once.
If these figures seem high, it may be because many Americans are embarrassed to communicate their sexual desires with friends and family. Some 46% of Americans have never asked someone a question about sex, according to a Pure Romance study.
“We should embrace [sex], not see it as the enemy,” Hugh Hefner once said.
Although hook-up apps are facilitating this more, it seems we’ve still got a long way to go.
What are the best hook-up apps for men?
We’ve tested hundreds of dating apps over the years. If you’re looking for easy no-strings sex, check out our list of the best hook-up apps and websites.
This article may contain affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission. This commission comes at no additional cost to you.
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Elvin, J. (2024) 8 crucial aspects of online dating that most men don’t understand. Medium.
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Kerner, I. (2019) How men and women use condoms differently. CNN.
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Contributing Authors:
Joe Elvin
Joe Elvin is an internationally known confidence and dating coach with nearly a decade of experience. He is the successful author of several dating and confidence books that have helped thousands of men find success. While traveling the world Joe consistently finds new and valuable ways to meet and attract women. Joe has a Bachelor’s Degree in Multimedia Journalism from Bournemouth University and he has been featured in many large publications including AskMen, TSB Magazine and The Good Men Project.
As one of the most prolific writers on Beyond Ages, Joe has reviewed over a hundred dating apps. He is the site’s foremost authority when it comes to selecting what dating app works for whom. From an app’s mechanics to its algorithm to telltale signs that a dating app is a scam, Joe’s is able to expertly discern between dating apps that provide value and those that don’t.
Dina Colada
Dina Colada is a Relationships Expert at BeyondAges.com. She knows exactly what women want and can show you how to get the women you most desire. When she’s not going on a date, she's probably reading or writing about it. Dina is passionate about dating, love, and relationships, and is an expert at creating cougar-attracting online dating profiles for men.
