It’s a controversial topic, but that’s never stopped us before -- today we’re looking at how to get nudes from a girl. I’m going to give you a few basic guidelines as well as some tips so you can get the best success.
All of this great advice applies equally if you’re trying to figure out how to get nudes from your girlfriend too.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it can be a risky game. I’d suggest doing it sparingly. You know what they say though, no risk, no reward.
How to get nudes from any girl
The reason this topic is so controversial is because of the approach far too many guys take. They think it’s acceptable to message her saying “show me your tits.”
Ever the optimist though, I actually appreciate these guys. Why? They set the bar so incredibly low for the rest of us. A massive part of dating is just demonstrating that you aren’t one of these neanderthals. Everything else is easy.
In fairness, I do see the “pickup artist” trap lead people down this route. They fall into that community because they need help with dating and that community can be vocal. Before long, they’ve forgotten they’re talking to women and are too busy “gaming HBs” (Hot Babes. Gag.) instead.
Some legitimate advice I’ve seen from that community is to demand pics because you’re so alpha. Like she’s doing you a favor. The other gem was to tell her how great another woman’s nudes are and suggest that she couldn’t compete with that anyway. Pickup artists seem to think that women are as competitive as men about the size of their package.
All of this is to say, stay away from this garbage. She isn’t doing you a favor, demanding nudes won’t work, and she doesn’t want to hear about another woman’s photos.
In fact, if you're not that good at talking to women, you'll have way less luck at getting them to send you some nudes. One of the best ways to improve your skills with women is by taking an in-depth dating course on how to make women more attracted to you.
Now, let’s look at how to approach this with actual women in the real world, shall we?
There's a lot at risk when sending nudes. If the pictures are leaked, it could lead to complete humiliation. There could even be professional repercussions. That's why the first step to successfully asking for nudes is to build trust with a woman.
Trust takes time to build. If you've put the time in to get to know this woman, she'll be far more open to sending naughty pictures. However, there are ways to build trust quickly. If you can show vulnerability by sharing personal stories and discussing deep emotional topics, that can help.
In fact, any behavior which shows she's not just “the next girl” is useful. Tell her what you like about her other than her appearance. Share discussions or experiences that you wouldn't share with just anyone. Just make sure not to take this so far that you appear desperate.
If you've already done the dirty, even better. Sex is an intimate experience that can build trust faster than almost anything else, provided you continue to treat her well afterward. The McAfee poll revealed that 77% of sexters send nudes to their significant other, compared to only 16% who send pictures to complete strangers.
Don’t directly ask for them
This is another subject where I really have to start with an important “what not to do.” There’s no way to directly ask her for nude photos without sounding like you’re begging.
Begging is never an attractive look, I assure you. Now that doesn’t mean that you’re going to “game” her for the nudes. Instead, you’re going to create an environment where she wants to send them to you.
Think of it like your most embarrassing secret. If someone walks up to you on the street and demands you tell them, they’re going to seem pretty weird. On the other hand, you’re so much more likely to tell you best friend because you’re comfortable and you trust them.
That’s a key differentiation that brings us to the next point.
Get comfortable with each other first
As I’ve just pointed out, comfort is a huge part of this. If she isn’t comfortable with you there’s no way she’s going to send you a naked photo of herself.
Building that comfort is as simple as showing her you’re a good guy. Be your strong, confident self, treat her with respect, and the rest will follow. If you can do that, the only other element is time.
As you demonstrate that you’re a good guy and it isn’t just an act, she’ll grow increasingly comfortable around you. No asking for nudes five messages into a Tinder conversation.
How to Ask for Nudes Successfully
The McAfee poll is further proof (as if any more were needed) that a lot of women are open to kinky behavior.
However, the fairer sex is conditioned to hide this side of their personality. If a woman's wild side is revealed to society at large, it can be humiliating. Most women go to extreme lengths to avoid being slut-shamed, even if they are incredible sex fiends behind closed doors and are girls who enjoy one night stands.
If you give off the impression you're looking for an innocent princess (or you've yet to build trust with her), she'll enthusiastically deny any requests you make for nudes.
"I'm not that type of girl," she'll say.
In this scenario, you can also forget about asking for threesomes, whips and chains or anything kinky in the bedroom. She'll only offer the good stuff to guys that she knows won't judge her.
Easing into sexual topics
The best way to show that you're non-judgmental is to talk about sexual topics as if it's not a big deal. This is easier if you've already had some hookup adventures.
If you're still getting to know each other, consider initially bringing up these topics using third parties. Perhaps you have a female roommate who's going through a post-breakup Tinder rampage or an old classmate who works part-time as a pole dancer. Provided you speak about these people positively, these types of stories can be a smart way to ease into dirty talk. If she responds eagerly, that's a green light to begin asking if she's done anything similar. Most probably, she'll return these questions to you. Eventually, you can move to the discussion to sending nudes.
Don't fall into the trap of slut-shaming other women or talking down about anyone's sexual preferences. The golden rule when discussing these risque topics is to behave as if it's completely normal. The law of state transference is at play here. If you give off the vibe that certain behavior is shameful or outrageous, you can forget about her doing it with you.
Get sexual. Get her turned on too.
She isn’t going to send you nude photos of herself midway through talking about her paper. Instead, you want to set the tone. Get her in the mood to be sexy and scandalous.
Start slow. Maybe some playful innuendos and see if she’s into it. Otherwise, if you share the right levels of comfort with each other, you can literally tell her you’re turned on thinking about her.
If you’re working out how to get nudes from your girlfriend, this part gets even easier. You already know exactly what she likes.
If she’s somewhere suitable (i.e. not in the middle of dinner with her grandparents) and in the right mood, she’ll play along. You might get a response like, “Oh yeah? What are you thinking about right now?” That’s your green light to explore further.
If you’ve already had sex, you can tell her you’re thinking about your last time together. Get specific about what you liked and what parts of her you’re thinking about right now.
If you haven’t reached that point with her yet, tell her what you’d like to see. “You looked so good in those little shorts last week. I really want to see what’s under them.”
If she’s comfortable, confident and trusting enough, this alone might be enough for her to show you. Other times, it’ll take some more back and forth conversation -- I could think of worse ways to spend my time!
Whatever you do though, don’t ask for photos or make her feel pressured.
Sexting is the ideal situation
Sexting is a fantastic way to get you both in the mood. Lead on from my examples above and tell her exactly what you’d like to do to/with her.
Make sure you escalate slowly and take the time to build a detailed story for her. “I want to take your clothes off and have sex with you” is quite mundane as far as sexting goes.
Instead, describe how you’re going to hold her. How you’re going to kiss her and run your hands down her body, undoing one button at a time. You get the picture.
She’s going to contribute to this story too. The more immersed you both are, the hotter it’ll be and you’ll both end up wanting more. I talked about how to turn a girl on through sexting in more detail a while back. If it’s something you’ve never tried before, check out the article -- you’re missing out!
If she still doesn’t send you photos during sexting (some women don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with that), you can try hinting at it a little. Ask her where she is right now and if she’s touching herself. If she says yes, tell her you really wish you could see that right now.
Something along those lines will usually be enough of a prompt. She’s turned on, she wants you right now, and she wants you to see it. It's enough of a clue that she might want to sleep with you.
She’s sending you nude photos because it turns her on
Make no mistake, she isn’t sending you photos of her naked body to appease you. She’s doing it because it turns her on to know that you think they’re hot.
Think about the countless places on the Internet where women share nude photos and videos for free. They don’t do it for money; they do it because it turns them on to know guys are getting off looking at them.
While those women may be into exhibitionism, most women share this trait to some degree.
This is part of the reason why asking for this kind of thing doesn’t work. If she’s going to send you anything, it’s for her benefit. You’re just some very lucky collateral in the situation.
If you want to see more, make sure you respond positively
She’s turned on and has worked up the courage to send you a naked photo of herself. She takes the leap, hoping you like it. You open the message, marking it as “seen” and... go about your day.
Ouch. There’s no greater letdown than being so vulnerable with someone and not getting a response.
If you offer nothing in response or you just reply with a thumbs-up emoji, don’t expect to get any more. Instead, if you like the photo(s), let her know!
Don’t reply with white knight-style “omg you’re so gorgeous. I’m so lucky to receive such hot photos!” That’s weird. Just acknowledge that they’re hot and she looks good.
Remember, she sent them because she likes that it turns you on. Make sure you let her know that’s exactly what they’re doing!
How to Ask for Nudes: What to Say
Escalating from sexting
As you're sexting or reminiscing about your last sexual adventure, comment about a specific body part of hers. A text such as "I'd love to see your ass right about now" could trigger her to send a picture, especially if she's already been turned on by the flirty messages. Women are more likely to comply when you ask for pictures of a specific body part. In the McAfee poll, 55% of women said they'd sent pictures of their breasts, while 17% had sent ass pics and just 9% had shared full-body snaps.
You ask her to “send a pic” and/or “what are you wearing?” If she sends a fully-clothed pic, tease her by asking if that's the best she can do. If she doesn't even send a fully-clothed pic, you've got a lot of work to do. It's probably best to drop the idea of nudes for now . . .
The thrill of sending nudes
You can also tell her you're somewhere where you shouldn't be sexting, but the taboo is turning you on even more. The idea of it being naughty to send a nude will turn a lot of women on too, especially if it's going to make a man miss her even more. Nevertheless, you'll need to make it clear you're somewhere there's no risk of being snooped on. Think “stuck in the office alone” rather than “trapped on a crowded bus.”
Quick tip: You might find more luck communicating through Snapchat or Instagram DMs, as these platforms include the option to make images disappear after they've been viewed.
What NOT to do!
Some quick bullets for the dummies out there.
- randomly text "Send Noods" or "Let's see your tits";
- send an unsolicited nude of yourself in the hope she reciprocates;
- tell her you need material for your "spank bank";
- ramp up the dirty talk when she's clearly not reciprocating or enjoying it;
- even joke about sharing the pics with your buddies, let alone do it;
- persist with asking when she says no. There's plenty of porn on the internet, dude.
How to react when you receive nudes
The great thing about receiving a dirty picture is it often opens the floodgates. Once she's sent one, there's less of a barrier for her to send you more in the future.
If you haven't had sex with this woman yet, this is a surefire sign that she likes and trusts you enough to do so in the near future (It's probably a good time to arrange that as quickly as possible after she sends the picture).
However, this only applies if she feels good about sending the first nude.
That's why you should always respond with a compliment. This isn't the time for honest critiques.
It's not the time for over-the-top flattery either. If you appear to be fully won over, she has little incentive to hit you up with even saucier nudes in the future. Remember, kinkiness isn't a big deal to you 😉
In fact, with these tips in hand, there's little stopping you from maxing out your inbox with naughty pictures.
A few final points on how to get nudes from a girl
The points above cover how to get nudes from any girl, but before I wrap up, there are a few final tips I want to share with you. These are a few common mistakes to avoid so you stand out from the rest.
Remember, she doesn’t owe you anything
This one is more about mindset than anything else. She doesn’t owe you naked photos of herself, so don’t go about getting frustrated and shutting her out if you get none.
It takes a lot of confidence and courage to send something like that, so for some women, it can just take time.
If you want nude photos right now, I hear Google can show you some websites full of them. If you want them from one woman in particular though, sometimes you just have to be patient.
You probably won't get nudes from a girl you haven't slept with
If you’ve matched on Tinder and been on one date, it’s unlikely she’s going to send you nude photos. Not impossible by any means but very unlikely.
Just keep this in mind as you figure out how to get nudes from a girl. The better you know each other, the higher your chances of success. Don’t go beating yourself up if you’re looking in the wrong places.
As for increasing your chances of finding a woman who wants to hook up with you, check out our review of the best hookup apps and sites. These sites are filled with women who are up for a good time, and that might just include swapping nudes.
Keep it respectful
This is just a solid piece of advice for every part of life, really. You can be cheeky and test the boundaries with a good sense of humor, but don’t be crass.
The moment you demonstrate that you might be a douche like so many other guys she’s dated, that door is closed.
You don’t have to act like her best friend (in fact, don’t do that. The friend zone is real.), just don’t treat her like an object. Being pushy or acting like she owes you something is a huge turnoff and makes you appear desperate.
Usually best done sober
A bit of Dutch courage might be what you need to put some of this into practice, but be careful. Mixing alcohol with this can lead to some huge regrets and blown chances.
You might think you’re being clever or funny with your messages, but if you’re 15 beers deep, sober-you might disagree. I’ve seen far too many of my friends make this mistake. Sure, it is something you can recover from, but why not just avoid the problem in the first place?
With this advice, you’ll know just how to get nudes from any girl. For the uninitiated, it can seem like a near-impossible task. Really though, you just need to play your cards right.
Show her the type of person you are, and create the right atmosphere. When you can do both of these effectively, you’re already in with a great chance.