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10 Best Questions To Ask Women While Online Dating To Get Them Excited

Woman thinking of an answer to your question

Online dating has been around for quite a while now. It can be a useful tool for connecting with other singles in your area. For those who want to find a serious relationship, there are many people looking for exactly that. And for those who are interested in casual sex, there are plenty of people open for hookups, too.

It doesn't matter if you’re new to online dating or if you’re a veteran. Chances are, you might be wondering how to get the woman through your screen all hot and bothered. So, what are the best questions to ask women while online dating to get them excited?

When you browse through hotties online, you probably come across numerous lovely ladies who catch your attention. Sexy women tend to get lots of messages from guys every day. If you want to get anywhere with your digital crush, you’ll have to say something that makes you stand out. But what should you say?

A simple “What’s up?” or “You’re so hot! How are you single?” probably won’t get you far. On the other hand, a long, sappy message filled with questions about her hobbies may not be very effective, either.

Are you messaging a bunch of women and not getting any responses? We’ve all been there. Even if you’re the smoothest guy on the Internet, there’s a good chance some of your messages will be ignored. Having said that, you might be asking the wrong questions.

I don’t recommend asking racy questions right off the bat because it may turn women off. That being said, you wouldn’t be the first guy to do it. In some instances, it may work out for you. Just know that breaking the ice with a juicy inquiry might alarm some women.

Regardless, be sure to ask something that catches her attention and prompts a response.

Questions To Ask Women While Online Dating

As I mentioned, not everyone uses dating sites to find hookups. Some profiles will explicitly indicate that a person is looking for casual sex. However, others offer very little information. 

Sometimes, sexy banter can go too far especially just right after your first message, in which case you might put a woman off. If she's clear about wanting to spice things up, go ahead and ask her a few naughty questions. In the event you misread her intentions, don’t sweat it. Brush it off, offer a quick sorry, and move on.

The best questions are fun, flirty, suggestive and a little bit naughty. But even great questions won’t help if you’re not on one of the dating sites that actually work for normal guys.

Whether it’s through a computer screen or in person, dirty talk doesn’t come naturally to everyone. But you can keep these lines in your back pocket and deliver them when the time is right.

So, what should you say to women in your first message to give them a thrill? When it comes to getting women excited, these are the ten best questions to ask while online dating. These will surely improve your first message response rate.

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1) “What’s your biggest turn-on?”

Woman answering online dating messagesThis is a super flirty question that gets right to the point. Plus it also lets her know that you’re interested and keen to get to know what she finds sexy. She’ll rise to the challenge, and her answer can’t be anything but sexy. All you have to do next is pick up the baton and continue steering the conversation in the right direction.

Top tip: Be prepared for anything. What turns her on might be something you didn’t expect. But whatever she answers, make sure that you demonstrate that you’re going to be the man to turn her on.

For instance, consider if she says, “A man who is wearing aftershave turns me on.” Don’t respond with, “Oh, aftershave gives me allergies. Lol.” Tell her that you’ve just bought a new bottle. If she likes a man who leads? Keep leading. If she says that she can’t get enough of a guy who has a beard, that it drives her wild? Tell her you’ve just started growing a new one.

Give her what she wants and ramp up the excitement.

Who doesn’t enjoy talking about their turn-ons? To be fair, not everyone enjoys it. Some women can be super shy when it comes to speaking up about what they like in bed. However, many people find that they’re able to present a more bold version of themselves online. So, you never know! 

2) “Where is the hottest place you’ve ever had sex?”

Woman trying out online datingThis question always reminds of that scene in “Friends” where the gang talks about the wildest places they’ve had sex.

Rachel’s answer? “The foot of the bed.”

Her answer might not be as wild as you may expect, but that doesn’t make her a prude. In fact, in another episode, Rachel proudly declares that she’s “kind of a slut!” Not everyone enjoys getting it on in public spaces, and some people have just never had the opportunity. 

So, try not to judge this woman by her answer. The point is to rev up the conversation and get the two of you talking about sex.

This question? It will excite them beyond belief. It’s the kind of question that raises both the intimacy and heat levels beyond the breaking point.

Okay, you’re not talking about the two of you having sex. But by breaking what is a bit of a taboo, you’re crossing a line of intimacy and getting closer. The tension will rise and she’ll feel it. Plus, sex talk in general? It’s just okay. But talking about the hottest place we’ve ever had sex to a complete stranger online who we kinda like? It’s incredibly sexy and exciting.

Don’t be afraid to ask this question, but DO build up to it a bit. Surprisingly, you don’t need to do too much stage-setting. In fact, I recommend that you do very little.

Why? Think of it like this: You’ve known her for a little bit and you’ve shown an interest. She knows you might like her, but she’s not sure. She likes your picture, though - you’re cute. Then, you blow everything out of the water with this text. You take her by surprise and get her all hot and flustered. She wasn’t expecting it - but it’s so hot.

And sex? It’s most people's favorite thing to talk about, right? Especially online with a hot stranger. When it’s your turn to answer the question, make sure your answer is even hotter than hers.

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3) “What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?”

Interested woman using online dating siteWhen you ask a woman about the naughtiest thing she’s ever done, you’ll open up the conversation. Is she wild? Or is she timid? Again, some people haven’t had very wild experiences, and others might be shy about sharing them.

When you get to know them, you’ll find that most women have a wild side. Many just need someone - in this case, you - to bring it out of them with a question like this. With this question, you’ll evoke some seriously sexy memories in her mind. She’ll think back to the naughtiest thing she’s ever done, and it’ll turn her on.

Your next job? To make sure she knows that, whatever naughty thing she’s done so far, you’re going to top it. This is when you’ll either share a crazy sexual experience you’ve had. Or tell her about the dirty things you want to do with her.

4) “If I was with you right now, what would we do?”

Woman in her room using online dating sitesI love this question and so do a lot of women. With this question, you can let both of your imaginations go wild. It's similar to phone sex and cybersex. You’ll get a chance to describe all the erotic things you want to do to each other.

It’s great for a few reasons, including that it:

  • Initiates role-play
  • Can lead to some seriously sexy talk
  • Lets her know you like her
  • Makes her feel wanted

Let both your imaginations run wild with this one. If you want to make it super clear your intentions, ask something leading. Like “We both try to check into a hotel, but there is only one room left. What do we do?”

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5) “What would you do if I kissed you?”

Woah, easy tiger. Being a bit forward here, aren’t we?


That being said, a little kissy talk is a lot more PG than some of these other questions. But some women might be caught off-guard by this somewhat romantic line.

You might make her flush crimson; you might even make her feel a bit embarrassed. But you’ll also get her heart racing. As she replies, her fingers shaking on her phone, she’ll be super excited to keep talking to you.

Why? You’ve been forward enough to show her that you’re interested and that’s exciting. But instead of simply saying “I like you,” you’re asking a question that invites a response. And you’re not asking a lame, “Do you like me?” question. You’re putting her in a position where she can reveal some sexy feelings.

Whatever her steamy answer is, make sure you seize on it and keep the excitement going. Indulge in a bit of role-playing and follow up with more questions, such as:

“What if I kissed your neck?”

“What would you do if I nibbled your ears?”

See how she reacts. If she seems into it, keep going. Ask her about other body parts she’d like you to kiss. In this context, kissy talk can be totally erotic!

6) “What’s the sexiest outfit you own?”

You know what she wants? She wants to impress you. Wants to look good for you. And she wants to feel sexy when she eventually meets you. 

As such, this is one of the best questions to ask women while online dating. It gets her talking about her tight-fitting dresses, her high-heels, her short skirts and her low-cut tops. She’ll feel sexy just talking about her wardrobe to you! It will turn her on and it will turn you on too.

She might offer up a few outfits. With any luck, she’ll then ask you which one you’d prefer to see her in. If she doesn’t, take the initiative and tell her which one you’d like to see her in when you meet. Don’t be afraid of being forward; this is what she wants to hear. She wants to know more about your tastes so that she can give you what you want.

This question is better than asking a woman what she’s wearing. More often than not, when a woman is talking to you online, she’ll be wearing sweats or unsexy clothing. And the same goes for her panties. Women don’t typically wear their sexiest lingerie when they’re hanging out at home.

By asking her what she currently has on, you’ll put her in a position to make something up. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing––after all, you’re already engaging in digital foreplay. But the question is kind of played out, anyway. 

It’s best to ask her about the hottest thing in her closet. Ask her why she loves wearing it. Does it make her butt look good? Is it see-through? Go ahead and get all the details. This is an awesome way to talk to girls online.

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7) “What’s your most X-rated fantasy?”

The naughtiest questions to ask women while online dating are usually the best ones.

Forget talking about mere fantasies such as dressing up as a fireman. Crank up the heat, get her all flustered and find out what she really wants. Ask her a question about her most x-rated fantasy.

As I said, the Internet is often an environment in which people feel comfortable sharing their raciest desires. A person’s fantasy isn’t necessarily what they’d actually be willing to do in real life. That’s why it’s a fantasy. Be playful, keep an open mind and offer up an X-rated dream of your own.

Just make sure you can handle whatever she answers. And make sure you’re ready to indulge her when the time comes. Also, try not to judge her answer. If it’s not as wild as your dirtiest fantasy, that’s OK, too! Maybe you can be her guide in experimenting with new things.

8) “Do you like cuddles?”

You don’t always need to be directly sexual when you ask her questions online in order to get her excited. Sometimes, you can turn her on in other ways without even alluding to sex. In your first online message avoid anything too sexual.

One of the first times I really got chatting to a woman online, she asked me if I liked cuddling. I’d never been asked that before.

“Of course,” I said. “Who doesn’t?”

It was exactly what she wanted to hear.

Women love to cuddle. It’s one of their favorite things ever. While dirty talk gets them excited, so does the equally sensual cuddle talk. It lets her know that you’re keen on her and that you want to get intimate and look after her. You want to be there for her and protect her, and this is a massive turn-on for women.

She’ll start picturing all kinds of things, like the two of you cuddling in front of the fire. You two cuddling in bed all day. Cuddling after a particularly hard day of work.

It’s a great question that lets her know your intent, initiates role-play, and makes her feel good. Plus, it’s very rare for a guy to take the initiative where cuddling is concerned, especially online. This will set you apart as someone mature enough to not just be all about sex.

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9) “Does the idea that you might get caught having sex turn you on?”

This type of question is yet another naughty and sexy way to open things up with a woman. It adds a little taboo to the discussion, which can throw gasoline on an already smoldering fire. Getting caught having sex with someone? It’s risky, it’s daring, it’s hot.

Even if she hasn’t been caught before, just thinking about the idea will make her excited.

If she hasn’t nearly been caught having sex before? Let her know how exciting it is to come close to being caught (except by your grandma, of course!). Let her know that you don’t mind a bit of risk, a bit of dare or a bit of exhibitionism. It’s all part of the fun.

This sort of goes along the lines of the hottest place she’s ever had sex. Not all women are turned on by the idea of getting caught. If she’s more into hooking up in private settings, that doesn’t mean she won’t be fun in bed. In fact, a lot of people show their wildest sides behind closed doors.

Both men and women watch pornography that doesn’t necessarily align with their real-life sexual desires. So, while the idea of getting caught might turn a woman on, she might not want to live that scenario. Either way, it can be fun to talk about!

10) “What spots on your body always get you hot and bothered?"

Lastly, find out which part of her body always gets her in the mood when a guy gives her attention. She’ll be excited thinking that soon YOU’LL be nibbling her ear, stroking the back of her neck or slapping her butt.

Make sure she knows this, of course. When she tells you which part of her body gets her in the mood? Tell her exactly what you’ll be doing to it.

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Use These Questions To Ask Women While Online Dating To Get Her Going

As your conversation heats up, you should have a pretty good indication as to whether she’s into it or not. If she’s going along with your spicy questions and asking you some in return, that’s a positive sign. As always, if a woman gives you her phone number, it usually means she wants to continue interacting with you. And maybe take things a step further.

However, if she’s giving you one-word answers and isn’t engaging in the dirty talk, she’s probably not into it.

In some cases, you might have to message back and forth for a while before a woman agrees to meet. Especially if the goal is focused on casual sex. Meeting IRL is always a risk, and many women play it safe.

Of course, every woman is different. Some might be willing to meet you on Day One. Others may want to talk online for a few weeks before they’re comfortable enough.

These are the best 10 best questions to ask women while online dating to get them excited. Remember to always have a follow-up plan for what to text next and keep the heat levels rising. Be open, be receptive and always be respectful––even if the dirty talk turns X-rated. Good luck.


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One Comment

  • abc123

    If I ask these questions, she’s probably going to ask them back right?

    I’m a virgin, how do I respond to these questions?

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