There are several things you should keep in mind when learning how to get a girls number and actually asking for it.
Quite simply, you can’t afford to make a mistake.
While women will forgive the odd indiscretion, you should not make frequent errors a habit.
If you’re trying to win her affection, you have to do it right from the beginning–before you ask a girl for her phone number.
You want to make sure that she will also try to win your interest as well.
Otherwise, the feelings will not be mutual.
Both the man and the woman must be invested in an interaction for it to flourish.
If you’re the only one putting forth the effort, there’s a good chance that even if you get her phone number, you’re not actually moving forward.
That is why you must ensure that when you’re asking a girl for her number, you execute with precision.
You should expect nothing less from yourself if you are to carry on your conversation through text.
To help you in your future endeavors, we’ve compiled a list of 10 common mistakes made while asking a girl for her number.
It would behoove you to avoid these mistakes in the future.
Whether you’ve been a victim of one or more of these errors is irrelevant.
We encourage you to pay close attention to the following so that you can fine-tune your online approach to increase your rates of success.
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The first (and perhaps most common) mistake made when asking a girl for her number is doing it too soon.
While there are exceptions, there are few reasons why you should ever go for the number after exchanging just a few messages.
Unless she started the conversation with you and is showing you high interest, you’re risking too much by going for it with little substance in your interaction.
It’s much better to feel her out by exchanging several messages to measure her interest level, before trying to move the conversation over to text messages.
Conversely, waiting too long to ask for her number is an avoidable mistake.
You have to strike while the iron is hot.
Otherwise, you’re simply building up an interaction to the point of reaching diminishing returns.
As soon as you feel that she’s interested in you, and you’ve built some comfort and rapport, ask for her number immediately.
Your goal is to have her number so that you can start texting her and developing your interaction from there.
Exchange several messages or talk for an hour if she’s online, and then take her number.
Don’t risk losing her intrigue by being passive.
As we just alluded to, it is fundamentally crucial for you to build comfort and rapport.
Even though you are limited since you’re just chatting online for the time being, you must do what you can.
Ask her about herself.
Be on the lookout for her personal questions.
The more you guys talk, the more she is subconsciously investing in you.
Even if the effects are minimal at this point, some investment is better than nothing.
Better yet, if you’re able to show her your sense of humor and playfulness by teasing her on something she’s said, you’ll find through her replies that she will start warming up to you.
Start building a connection, so that you can further your bond when you continue your conversation over text. Because if you end up just going for it without building rapport, you might end up resorting to using cheesy lines to ask a girl out.
While it’s essential to build some rapport before asking a girl for her number, don’t overlook the importance of attraction.
Without her attraction, you’ll just be seen as a friendly guy to her.
The last thing you need is to get her number, only to find out at a later date that she was only interested in you as a friend.
It can be difficult to know how attracted she is to you when you’ve just started talking.
With that said, there are a few signs to lookout for.
If she compliments you in any way or makes a comment about something on your profile, it’s obviously a good sign.
If she doesn’t ask you about yourself or doesn’t add substance to the conversation, she might just be talking to you to be polite or because she’s bored.
If you go for the number in the latter situation, you might get it–and be subsequently friend-zoned in the future.
Girls detest desperation. A man that is desperate for a woman’s attention is fighting a losing battle.
On the other hand, a man that is composed and laidback in his approach is much more likely to succeed.
Women find confident men alluring, and that goes without saying.
Desperation is not a virtue of a confident man.
Yet, it is a common mistake made by many guys when attempting to get a woman’s phone number both online and in real life.
Therefore, don’t say please.
Don’t ask twice.
Don’t make it seem like you need her number in any way.
Just make sure that she’s receptive, and after building some rapport, ask her the following:
“Why don’t we continue this conversation over text? Leave me your number and I’ll send you a message.”
Assume the sale.
Don’t ask, “Could you leave me your phone number?”
Be bold and mildly assertive, and you’re more likely to succeed.
This is a big one.
While this mistake may not apply to all, many guys repeat this error time and time again, often without knowing about it.
Seeking her validation or approval is akin to showing her a hint of desperation.
It will drive her away almost every time.
At the very least, it will decrease her attraction for you.
And since you obviously don’t want that to happen, you should avoid this type of behavior entirely.
Many guys try to brag about their job, social status, physique, athletic ability, or any sort of skill or position worthy of merit, in hopes of capturing her attention.
While you should certainly play to your advantages, you want to be subtle about your strengths.
Let her wonder if you workout or not.
Better yet, you should show instead of tell.
A well-taken picture of you in a fitted shirt on your profile to highlight your physique works infinitely better than telling her about your strenuous workout at the gym that day.
On that note, unless you’re clearly on a beach, it will do you well to avoid shirtless pictures.
Even if you have a great physique, they’re simply too cliché.
Opt for quality pictures where you’re well dressed instead.
It would be wise to avoid having expectations when asking women for their phone number. Remember, there are a lot of different things it could mean when she gives you her number so don't be so focused on the outcome.
That’s because you could be disappointed.
You’re never fully guaranteed to succeed, so the best you can do is prepare for the worst while hoping for the best.
When you’re chatting to a woman online that you are strongly attracted to, you should adopt the following mentality:
“I’d love to get her number and take her out on a date. But it’s okay if I don’t.”
This sort of attitude will give you abundance, which will help you tremendously in the long run.
If she says no, at least you got a straight answer. It's better than hoping for nothing.
While it’s absolutely fine to give her a compliment or two on something about her besides her appearance, you must tread carefully.
Over-complimenting her would be a serious mistake.
It may seem shallow to suggest that you don’t want to raise her value too much, but this is exactly what you should avoid.
You don’t want to make it seem like you see her as being more of a prize than yourself.
Tell her that you find her interesting if you’d like.
But don’t tell her how pretty she is or how exotic she looks.
You could do that some other time.
Perhaps after you’ve taken her out on a first date–but definitely not before getting her phone number in the first place.
“Why don’t you give me your phone number? We can make plans to meet each other soon.”
Hint at a first date or future plans too soon and you might be on a set path to failure. If you ask her out over text, make sure you build some anticipation first.
You should have her wondering if you’ll even ask her out.
Don’t show her your cards just yet.
While she will know that you’re interested in her when you ask for her number, there’s no need to rush the process.
First get her number.
Then you can worry about planning the first date.
Lastly, we feel the need to state that it’s more important to get her talking about herself, than it is to share any detail about your personal life with her.
While this goes without saying for many guys, it bears mentioning because it still remains a frequent mistake. This is a huge no-no when asking for a girl's number online. If she's bored with you online, you can kiss her number goodbye.
As a rule of thumb, only talk about yourself when answering her questions.
Focus on her, and she will focus on you.
That way, when you finally ask for her number, you’re all but guaranteed to succeed while making her happy to share her digits with you.
You can make a ton of mistakes when asking for a girl's number. Do any of the following and she might not give you her number or she might not even text back:
Now that you know the mistakes you can make when asking a girl for her number, you might also want to know what it means when she does you give you her number. Does it instantly mean she's into you? Or maybe she has other ideas. Read our article and find out!
You’re simply not going to attract every girl.
Even if you were a famous celebrity, there would always be a niche of girls that wouldn’t be attracted to you no matter how much status you have.
If you’re able to accept this fact, you’ll be able to focus on the girls that are into you.
And quite frankly, there are many.
It is however your job to find them.
So if a girl denies you her number, you should be thankful, because she just made your search easier.
With that said, it’s time that we focus on how to get girls numbers.
There’s nothing wrong with improving your approach so that you can increase your chances of success.
Before we give you some examples, know that there is no single best way to ask for her phone number.
It all depends on your vibe and how receptive she is to you.
It’s also contextual.
For instance, it would not be appropriate to ask her out as you ask for her phone number, unless she is clearly highly interested in you.
Now, allow us to give you 10 lines to try while learning how to get girls numbers.
We will briefly explain each one so that you can understand why they are effective and when you should use them.
We encourage you to experiment with the following to determine which lines work best for you.
As you’ll learn if you’re not familiar with it already, sometimes it’s best to just stick to the basics.
With line #1, we can see an example that’s effective because it’s simple and to the point.
There is no need to overcomplicate things.
It’s important that you don’t seem overeager when learning how to get girls numbers.
While you do have to ask for it, you should assume that she would give it to you anyways.
Nothing projects more confidence than a man who goes after what he wants and is confident in his ability to get it.
You’ll see that many of the other lines build upon this first one.
In addition, this line works great because it’s so versatile.
You can use it effectively in many situations.
We really meant it when we said the basics are essential.
Sometimes, as is the case with line #2, less is more.
While some guys will structure several sentences or a long question in hopes of getting her number, you can accomplish the same feat with fewer words.
Subconsciously, it will show her that while you would like to get her number, you’re not desperate to get it.
This fact alone will make a difference.
This one is a little different.
It may seem like a similar line to what you’ve used in the past, but the key to this one is the lack of appropriate punctuation.
There is no question mark here.
So while you’re asking her a question, you’re avoiding giving her the impression that you’re seeking a reply.
Basically, the idea behind line #3 is to ask for her phone number without giving her a hint that you care much about it.
The result is a nonchalant way of asking for her digits that has a good chance of succeeding with a girl that may be overwhelmed with male attention.
If she’s a very attractive girl, try this line on her after an initial conversation.
It works best with girls that get asked for their numbers more than usual.
This line is different from the ones we’ve previously discussed, because you’re attempting to use her number as a natural means to continue your conversation.
It’s a way to pique her interest (if it’s already there to begin with), and get her number at the same time.
If she’s seems really interested in you, try this one out.
As for your idea?
It’s really up to you.
Send her a text an hour or so after she gives you her number.
“Hey [her name] it’s [your name].”
When she replies, just continue your conversation from there.
You can either mention your “idea” or just continue your chat as it was before.
If she asks about it, it’s a great sign that she’s invested in your conversation.
At that point, you could ask her if she considers herself adventurous.
When she answers you, you could say that you have an idea about what you guys could do together if she’s up for it.
This is an excellent way to feel her out for a first date.
But of course, as we mentioned before, use this line with a girl that is receptive to you to increase your chances of success.
Line #5 is an interesting one.
It allows you to display a form of humor that is not too common between two people that don’t yet know each other too well.
Depending on your initial conversation, she won’t know whether or not you’re being serious with this.
But that’s the point.
Allow her to wonder.
Based on her reply, you can tease her a little bit, too.
Remember, we encourage you to experiment to discover what works best for you.
Don’t be afraid to be creative.
Building on line #5, it’s helpful to use lighthearted humor whenever you can.
Especially since you’re just getting to know one another.
It’s simply a great way to get her comfortable with you, while increasing her attraction for you.
What woman doesn’t love a man that can make her smile?
Of course humor isn’t the only piece to the puzzle.
But it is one of them.
When learning how to get girls numbers, it would benefit you to show her your sense of humor–as long as you don’t overdo it.
Similar to line #4, this technique is a great way to get her number by applying a subtext to your question.
She will likely believe that you’re asking for her number because it would either be more efficient or more comfortable to discuss what you have in mind over text.
And if she doesn’t believe you, she is still likely to comply if she likes you.
As usual, feel her out during your initial conversation.
If you get the impression that she wants you to lead the interaction, it’s time to make your move.
By this point you should understand the value of keeping things simple.
Line #8 is no different than most we’ve discussed.
If you’ve had a lively conversation, this line will flow naturally.
What’s more is that if you’ve asked her personal questions, this approach will feel genuine.
You wouldn’t be saying, “You seem cool” without a good reason.
So with that in mind, use this line when she’s been doing most of the talking for the best results.
If you felt that lines #5 and #6 complimented your personality, you’re going to feel right at home with this one.
Again, there is no best line to get a girl’s phone number.
This approach could work excellent on one girl, and have a satisfactory effect on another.
But it’s still beneficial to have more tools to choose from.
Use this line if it’s congruent with the vibe you’ve presented to her during your conversation.
Last but not least, we have a line that works well in many situations.
Besides being a way to get her number, it’s also a way of building intrigue, assuming that she’s been receptive to you.
Once you get her number, send her a text, and continue your conversation normally.
If she asks you about what you wanted to warn her about, you could say anything you like, because you already have her number.
An example regarding something you could say would be, “I don’t play well with others ;).”
In any case, the purpose is to get her number.
Once you have it, feel free to be more flexible in your approach.
Now all that’s left for you to do is lead your interaction towards a first date.
While learning how to get girls numbers, don’t be afraid to experiment.
The worst that could happen is that you won’t get her number.
The best (and oftentimes the most likely scenario) is that you will.
So it pays to discover which lines work best for you.
After all, chatting with her online or meeting her at a bar is only the first step.
Logically, the next step is getting her phone number so that you can continue your conversation over text.
Text messaging is simply more personal. It will allow you to create a stronger bond as her trust in you increases.
Eventually, you’ll be able to ask and take her out on what is presumably an exciting first date.
But before you get there of course, you will need her phone number. You will need what many guys ask her for but few receive.
Since you’re going to present yourself as an interesting guy with a unique charm and approach, you’ll be seen as nothing less than a high-value man to her.
Therefore she will feel compelled to give you her phone number.
In this short discussion we will breakdown the ideal method to get a woman’s phone number from an online conversation one you have been in touch online.
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First and foremost we must start with the basics. You’re not going to get anywhere without the fundamentals.
Have you ever started an online chat with an attractive woman by asking her immediately for her phone number?
It’s highly unlikely that you have. And if you’ve tried it, you’ve likely failed.
While not beating around the bush may have its benefits on occasion, this is not one of those times.
You have to slowly escalate your conversation. You have to buildup to the moment that you eventually ask for her phone number.
Without introducing any form of anticipation, your approach will be weak at best. And even if you manage to get her phone number, what’s to guarantee she will respond when you message her?
There’s no point to having her number if she’s ultimately unresponsive to you when you send her a text.
So, here is what the basics are all about.
Your main goal is to get her phone number; that much is clear. But your secondary goal should be to ensure that she will be receptive to you when you text her as well.
To avoid screwing up, she must give you her phone number and be willing to continue getting to know you.
So, don’t be in a rush to get her phone number just yet.
While everything you do in the initial stages will be to convince her to give you her number, don’t forget that you must also capture her interest as well.
How to ask a girl for her phone number is a simple question. But you should also be wondering about how to further her interest in you, so that she is keen to talk to you when you finally text her.
Let’s get into some strategies where you’ll learn about how to ask a girl for her phone number while simultaneously increasing her attraction for you.
If you appear to be ordinary to her, unfortunately she will treat you in an ordinary manner as well.
Which means that you would be unlikely to get her number, risking your chances of ever taking her out on a date.
Generally speaking, you must show her you’re different from the other guys.
Don’t think that you must be obnoxious or overly flirtatious in some way to distinguish yourself either. A casual, lighthearted approach works just fine.
Just make sure to avoid the standard conversations she’s been through hundreds of times already.
For instance, instead of asking her about her personal life so quickly, you could use some humor to avoid giving her the impression that you’re too serious.
“What’s your ideal first date? I’m going to judge you based on your answer, so be very careful with your word choice ;)”
Don’t be afraid to be facetious. A little bit of self-amusement goes a long way.
Ask her how nervous she feels before meeting a date for the first time.
When she asks you in return, tell her it depends on the day of the week.
Say that you’re more nervous on Fridays for some reason you can’t yet explain.
Have fun with her. Don’t worry so much about going straight for her number just yet.
Get her laughing. Don’t hesitate to be sarcastic whenever you can. Don’t be afraid to tease her when the opportunity presents itself.
While building attraction with a woman will always be more efficient when you’re actually together, you must do the best you can when you’re limited to online messages.
When you’re able to show her that you’re different, especially in subtle ways, you’ll be one step closer to getting her phone number and having her respond to your initial text.
Try out some different techniques; experiment with methods you haven’t yet attempted before.
At best you’ll increase her interest in you. At worst, you’ll be showing her that you’re unlike most guys she’s met.
As long as you avoid giving her the impression that you’re just like the Average Joe, you’ll be on the right track.
You’re an exciting guy. You’re charming in your own unique way.
Even if you don’t fully believe these things, there are many women out there that do.
You are somebody’s “perfect 10.” While you may not be a high-value man to every woman, you are seen as a valuable catch to many.
So act like it. Don’t be arrogant about it, but don’t hesitate to lift your chin and smile.
Since you’re wondering about how to ask a girl for her phone number correctly, it pays to discuss the importance of inviting her into your world.
More specifically, at this point in time you shouldn’t worry so much about hers.
While it’s important to ask her certain things, such as what she does for fun, and if she considers herself shy or not, you should concentrate on increasing her interest in you.
Show her you have plenty of exciting things going on in your life. Show her that you live an adventure of some sorts.
If you’re a software engineer for instance, it’s going to be difficult to excite a girl by virtue of your profession alone.
Though that doesn’t mean you can’t embellish the activities you partake in during your spare time.
Tell her that although you like your job, it doesn’t necessarily provide you with any action. Say that you have a constant craving for new and exciting experiences, especially if they involve some adrenaline.
That’s where activities like rock climbing, whitewater rafting, and snorkeling come in.
While they may not be everyday activities, you can tell her about a past experience you had snorkeling off the coast of Bali.
You could also tell her about your future skydiving plans.
Ask her if she’s done any of these things, and if she hasn’t, tease her about missing so many opportunities in life.
In addition, you don’t have to be some extreme adventurer to invite her into your world. While the aforementioned examples work great, experiment to find what works best for you.
Maybe you used to skateboard when you were younger, or you practiced archery for a few years.
Ask her about what sorts of activities she does for a fix of adrenaline.
Show her you’re different. Show her you’re exciting. When she’s asking you plenty of personal questions, you know you’re doing it right.
By talking about your personal life in an intriguing way that captivates her, you’ll be inviting her into your world.
Soon enough you can ask for her phone number, and she might even insist that you text her quickly–because she won’t be able to wait any longer to have you as a contact.
Next, we feel it’s crucial to tell her something personal about your life that you don’t usually tell people you just met.
This will give her the opportunity to get to know a lesser-known side of you, allowing her to connect with you a bit further.
In return you can certainly ask her about something personal as well.
Firstly, don’t think that you have to share some secret about your past. What you tell her doesn’t necessarily have to be an embarrassing or obnoxious experience.
In fact it’s better if you avoid this topic for now–after all, you’re just getting to know each other.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t tell her about some of your hobbies or pastimes that only the closest people in your life know about.
For instance, if you’re a chess enthusiast you probably don’t rush to tell strangers about it.
Even most of your friends might not know that you dedicate hours upon hours to online chess on a weekly basis.
You could tell her about this hobby. Tell her why it’s important to you, and why you enjoy it so much.
Say that while you enjoy your Saturday nights out and weeknight gatherings with your friends, you also enjoy an easy night at home by yourself playing some chess.
Explain how it’s important to you to have your moments where you’re able to cool down and do something that is completely stress-free.
Talk about how you feel that most people are missing this type of experience in their lives, which is why you believe that most are also overstressed and exhausted.
Of course you don’t have to use this chess example. You might have other hobbies that are important to you, such as reading, woodworking, or restoring cars.
Ask her if she has a similar habit. Have her tell you about some of her favorite activities in life that she isn’t so quick to admit.
More importantly, ask her why it’s essential in her life. Have her talk more about herself, so that she slowly increases her investment in you.
Along with her investment, it goes without saying that her interest in you will increase as well.
Which finally leads you to the moment where you can ask for her phone number without failing.
By this point you should have a good idea about how to distinguish yourself from most men she’s met.
You now have the tools to slowly increase her interest in you while simultaneously increasing her investment.
The more she talks to you–the more she asks you questions and tells you about herself–the better she will be as a prospect for a first date in the near future.
It is now your job to ask her for her phone number correctly.
As long as you don’t rush the process we’ve outlined in this discussion or take any shortcuts, you’ll be all but guaranteed to get her phone number and have her be receptive to you when you text her.
Below are some good examples as to how you can ask her for her phone number in a proper manner.
“By the way, I enjoy talking to you. Why don’t we continue this conversation over text?”
“I have to run right now. Leave me your phone number and I’ll send you a text very soon.”
“What’s your phone number [her name]? Let’s continue this over text.”
As you can see, all of the above examples are rather straightforward.
There is no magic formula to getting a girl’s phone number.
As long as you avoid overcomplicating the question, saying please, or demonstrating a desperate attempt for her number you’ll be just fine.
Lastly, here’s an added tip for you.
When she gives you her phone number–don’t text her right away. Wait at the very least 30 minutes, or maybe even a couple of hours before sending her that first text.
If you’ve been chatting late at night when she gives you her phone number, wait until the next day to text her.
Build some anticipation. Don’t text her immediately like most of the other guys do. Have her wonder if you’re actually going to text her at all.
At the very least, show her indirectly that you’re busy. There is no need to give her your undivided attention.
When you send her that first text, continue your conversation from there. Soon enough it will be time for you to ask her out on a first date.
If you put the advice you've read here into practice then chances are you've approached an attractive woman, started a conversation, flirted for a while... and then asked for her phone number.
She gives it to you and you go back to your friends for a hero's welcome.
Sounds good, right?
Well... yes and no. The good news is that you got her phone number so there's a chance to see her again and maybe things will work out.
The bad news is that in you just made five mistakes -- or missed opportunities.
Getting Her Phone Number: The Do's and Don'ts
So let's have a closer look at exactly what it is your doing wrong.
Boy meets girl. Boy gets girl interested. Boy gets what he wants. Boy leaves right away. Sure, it's a phone number, not sex, but it gives her the same emotion and will make her feel much less attracted to you.
Besides, what's the rush?
Presumably, you got her phone number so the two of you can hang out. Well... you're hanging out right now. Why are you so eager to leave?
She'll be wondering if you're trying to be a mega-player or if you're more interested in impressing your friends than getting to know her.
What to do Instead: Stay in the conversation at least an extra five minutes after you get her phone number. Or longer -- introduce your friends to hers and see what happens for the rest of the night.
Of course, sometimes one of you genuinely does have to leave right away, and if so then it's okay to leave, but don't make it your default move.
Even if you give her your number, 99 percent of women (especially attractive ones) won't call or text first. So why bother?
Because most women won't answer the phone from a number they don't know -- or you'll kill your emotional momentum by spending the first couple minutes of the call reminding her who you are and where you met.
But if your number is in her phone, these problems magically disappear.
What to do Instead: After you get her phone number, say, "Here, I'll give you mine," and either call her from your phone or grab her phone and add yourself in.
Things can work out if you starting hitting on a woman and going for her phone number, but a lot of the time, even if she gives you her number, she'll be saying to her friends afterward, "I wonder what that was all about," or "That was kind of weird."
What to do Instead: Start by flirting with her -- that part was okay.
But instead of going for the phone number, find something that you both have in common. It doesn't matter much what it is, as long as it lends itself to an activity.
So let's say you both love Japanese food, '80s music or gallery openings -- at some point in the conversation tell her that you were thinking of checking out a certain restaurant/concert/show and you guys should hang out.
When she responds positively, then get her phone number. That will make a lot more sense to her and feel more "natural."
Women know that what they like in a man isn't all that different from what other women like. So if you celebrate getting her phone number - it tells her that other women on her level probably haven't been interested in you in the past.
That's going to set off alarm bells in her head. You can date a woman who is out of your league, but not if she feels she's out of your league.
What to do Instead: Just like getting to the end zone in football, act like you've been there before. It's cool, it's classy and it's what she wants.
So you got her phone number.
Now it's time to play it cool and wait 3 days before calling her.
Wrong. So very wrong.
Text messaging has killed the three-day rule.
What to do Instead: If your friends and her friends are around, try texting her a few minutes after she gives you her phone number: "Um, there's a cute [blonde/brunette/whatever] girl from [where she's from] and I think she's flirting with me. What should I do?"
So make sure you don't make these mistakes, otherwise all the hard-work you put into the night is going straight down the drain.
Get More Numbers and Turn More Numbers into Dates
The game of meeting women is changing.
Phones, texting, and social media are now much bigger parts of women's dating lives than they were five years ago. Attention spans are shorter.
If you're not relevant to her - day to day, not just on "the night" - then someone else will be. It's vital that you learn the "new rules" of phoning and texting...