Online dating phone number acquisition is easy once you know what you are doing but timing is critical. Messaging a man or woman online can be an easy and efficient way to get to know them a bit and build some attraction. It only takes a few minutes a day and it can give you a little jolt of pleasure every time you get the alert that you have a new message (especially if you are using one of the sites from our Highest Rated Cougar Dating Sites list).
You need to be very careful here.
It is very easy to wait too long and become their online pen pal and friend instead of potential love interest. There is very little to be gained by drawing out the online emailing process that can not be more quickly attained in person.
You want to get them communicating with you outside of the confines of your dating site of choice as quickly as possible.
In order to get online dating phone numbers you need to follow a few simple guidelines. The guidelines to get online dating phone numbers are simple because most of the work is already done on your part. If your online dating love interest is messaging you they are interested and have probably already read your profile (if you are not getting any messages yet check out our profile creation guides). You are already 80% of the way to getting their phone number! Now don't screw it up! These tips work for dating older women and men as well as younger. Cougars as well as cubs.
Now that you have received initial indicators of interest you want to strike while the iron is hot! It can be very difficult to maintain the same initial levels of attraction that you have in the first few messages over a longer period of time. Very few of us have the writing ability to keep interest that high over a period of weeks when your interest is receiving tons of other messages. To ensure your best chance of success you need to ask for their number after three emails max.
As we talk about in our article covering the proper mindset for success in online dating investing a ton of time into every interaction online is going to waste a lot of time. You need to be able to quickly filter out your matches that are merely looking, not really interested, not right for you, or just plain fake. Until you start talking to them offline you never really know what you are in for. Thus it makes perfect sense to quickly move your interactions forward.
In my experience three emails is usually the ideal time to get online dating phone numbers. Interest is high and you are both having fun. The conversation has not yet hit any lulls and you have developed a level of comfort with each other.
How do you ask for online dating phone numbers? Easy. After your third email you end the email with something like this:
"Its been great getting to know you here but I don't know if this online dating thing is for me. Why don't you send me your number and we can have a real conversation like normal people : )"
Pretty simple right? And it works! This line is so effective for a couple of reasons. First, you are demonstrating confidence to walk away by saying online dating isn't for you. Most guys she talks to are going to be practically begging for her number. You would like it but are not committed. Second, it's funny and emphasizes that online communication isn't "real" dating. Now that you have built up a certain level of comfort after a few messages it is a natural and simple request like this that is very difficult to say "no" to.
There is always a chance, even a small one, that she will say no. As we mentioned above, some women really are just looking for online friends. You also may have gotten to them too late and they have found someone else. Neither of these is a bad thing! This is exactly why you should always be moving the relationship forward.
Fortunately you will almost never be simply told "no". Usually you will be given a reason, typically they say something like "I would like to talk to you as well but I don't give out their number online". This is not a rejection. You just need to build up a little more comfort with her. Send her another email back and tease her a little bit in your reply. Something like this usually works:
"What are you afraid of? I'm only going to call you like 10 times a day tops. That's not so bad right? Come on, send me your number so I can make sure you are not really a dude."
As long as you keep your emails light and playful leading up to this you will typically get her number at this point. There are rare instances where you are dealing with someone who doesn't have a sense of humor or is not really serious about actually meeting someone in person. In those cases your best bet may be to cut your losses. Getting a number online is not a big deal. If you are messaging someone who is not willing to take that small step it will take a lot of effort to move forward, if it is even possible. It is not impossible to be successful with these people it is just very unlikely.
There you have it. A simple strategy on how to get online dating phone numbers. Like all of the techniques we suggest on this site it is created to provide maximum results with minimum efforts. If you are not having much success on your current dating site or have yet to choose one take a look at our Best Online Dating Site Review to find the right site for you.