Have you ever wondered how to hit on a girl at the gym? You’d think the gym is the perfect place to meet and flirt with attractive, single women. But your first instincts are wrong, my friend. So very wrong.
You see, women don’t go to the gym to be hit on; they go to the gym to work out. Funny that, isn’t it?
That makes it a fairly challenging place to engage a woman. But what if you’re bench-pressing and a gorgeous woman doing leg curls catches your eye in the distance? All you want to do is go over to her, shamelessly flirt and see if you can convince her to go out with you.
I invite you to pause for a moment and reconsider what you’re about to do.
You need to know how to hit on a girl at the gym without scaring her or making her mad because you’ve interrupted her “me time.”
Meeting girls at the gym is far different from meeting girls at a bar. The bar has a more social vibe, whereas gyms are for focusing on working out. Sure, it's easy to socialize and meet women at the gym (much like being able to study and meet girls in college), but not a lot of women really want to be hit on at the gym.
As a woman, I can tell you there’s nothing worse than a man coming up behind you when you’re lifting weights in front of the mirror, or blatantly copying your exact training routine while pretending (eye roll) it’s a weird coincidence. We know exactly what you’re doing because we’re trained to be wary of strange, creepy men.
You don’t want to be that guy, so I’m going to show you how to be the other guy: the friendly, gentlemanly one who always wins, even in the gym.
Many men believe that all women are attracted to the “alpha” male; the one who shouts the loudest appears to be the physically strongest and is dripping with confidence.
But this isn’t true because all women are different. Plus, most women are tired of men hitting on them the exact same way in the gym: sitting on the machine next to her or flexing your muscles near her while trying to grab her attention.
We really don’t care how good your muscles look. I mean, they’re probably nice to look at (along with everyone else’s), but so what?
My point is, you need to stand out. This is how she will notice you in a sea of men who just don’t have a clue.
So be bold and get creative. If you’re working out near her already, offer to wipe her station down if you’re finishing up at the same time. Help her adjust a machine if you can see she’s having trouble with it. Ask her if she wants you to refill her water bottle. If you do happen to catch eyes across the room, smile at her for a moment, then avert your gaze onto something else.
Making a move on a girl at the gym has to start out subtle and friendly. Whatever you do, be different and be thoughtful. That goes a long way with us.
If you want any chance of a woman being interested in you and not giving you an immediate brush off, then avoid speaking to her mid-workout.
It’s not a good time to strike up a conversation when we’re out of breath on the treadmill, intensely focused on the weights we’re lifting or mid-squat on the mat.
If you make me stop what I’m doing and take out my headphones just so you can tell me a lame joke or offer tips on how to improve my form, I’m not going to like you.
Most gyms these days are filled with break-out areas like the water refill station or even a juice bar or cafe. This could be a better place to approach us and ask for our number because it’s a little more private and we’re usually in a more relaxed state of mind.
So the golden rule is: never interrupt anyone’s workout. Ever. Just don’t do it.
Read all the tips below with this tip locked in your mind like a mantra.
So you’ve decided you want to speak to a woman and maybe ask her out?
Well, if you’re going to do it, then you need to do it right the first time. There are no second chances when you want to hit on a woman at a gym.
This means thinking about what you’re going to say, saying it, then getting out pronto. Remember, she is there to work out and really doesn’t have all day to be wooed by your flirting skills or anybody else’s. It's not like hitting on women at a party where they're more or less expecting to be hit on.
Don’t stumble on your words, continually ask her questions or talk about yourself for ten minutes straight. Nobody has time for that.
The best thing to do is have a rough idea of what you want to say before approaching her. This will make you appear more confident in the moment. It shows that you respect her time and it leaves her wanting to know more.
No woman feels like she looks great in the gym. We’re sweating, huffing and puffing, and potentially a little smelly depending on where we are in our workout.
On top of that, we already feel self-conscious about being in the gym, having people gaze at and judge our bodies. Even the women who appear to be in the best shape can often have body hang-ups. Some women avoid going to the gym altogether because of the disproportionate weight stigma we experience.
This means that if you’re set on giving her a compliment (which isn’t a terrible idea), please make it a non-physical one.
Don’t tell me you think I’m hot or have an incredible body. Don’t tell me you like my eyes or my lycra pants. Because I probably won’t believe you, plus, it’s creepy. It’s creepy in the gym and it’s still kinda creepy in a bar. And you’re not helping yourself stand out from all the other guys who do this.
Instead, compliment a woman on her workout. Tell her she’s doing amazing and that you can see her strength. The key is to make her feel good about what she’s doing, not what she looks like.
As long as you’re not interrupting her mid-workout when you do it, offering tips or suggestions on how she can improve her workout can be a great way to open up a conversation.
It’s by no means original, but it’s smart because not only are you getting her to notice you, you’re also helping her with her workout. Everyone’s a winner here.
But, there is a way to do this without sounding condescending or like a Mr know-it-all. Keep it short, friendly and helpful. For example, “I noticed you’re doing a lot of work on your legs, but have you thought of adding core exercises? This would really help balance and strengthen your body.”
Be the kind of man who genuinely wants to be nice and this won’t be difficult.
Women come to the gym to work out. We’ve probably had a moderate to intensely stressful day, and we’re looking to blow off some steam, just like you are.
We’re in the gym because we want to take care of our body, so FYI: we’re not cool with you stealing a lot of our time. Therefore, your aim is to take up as little of her time as possible.
Pick the right moment, make your move and be done as quickly as you can. Remember, you’re not going on a date at the gym. The purpose of chatting here is to build rapport, engage in some banter and flirt a bit, then politely ask for her number. You can continue your conversation through texting or by calling her and then setting up a proper date.
Remember, there’s no rush to ask a woman out the first time you notice or speak to her. If you both regularly work out, chances are you’ll see each other again.
You may want to start off by chatting to her briefly and feeling out the situation. You might find after speaking to her you don’t feel enough of a connection to go on a date with her. Or you might learn that she has a boyfriend, in which case you should stick to just being friends.
Take your time with it. Have a few separate, brief conversations before you ask her out. After all, what’s the rush?
One word of caution: be careful with how many women you’re flirting with and dating in your gym. Because if things go sour, you may need to find a new place to work out.
How to hit on a girl at the gym really comes down to a few cardinal rules: pick your timing carefully, be creative, know your approach and be smooth when you make your move.
Always remember to stay relaxed, and think about how she might be feeling at any moment, rather than focusing on yourself. This will help you choose the right moment and your words with care.
As long as you’re respectful of her and her time while being genuine and thoughtful, your chances of success will skyrocket.