If you’re wondering how to meet girls in college, you’re in the right place.
This guide reveals the most effective strategy for dating in college. Most principles of good game still apply, but there are some key differences which you’ll need to be aware of to truly strike it lucky with sexy college ladies.
The main difference between dating in college and elsewhere in the adult world is that you’re likely to encounter the same women time and again on campus. It means you can play the “long game” of adding women to your social circle, then having them recommend their friends to you. In fact, it’s highly recommended you do it this way.
Read on to discover a full guide on applying “social circle game” to date college girls.
Dating Seriously in College vs. Hooking Up
Before exploring how to date in college with maximum efficiency, let’s explore the differences between dating seriously and hooking up in college.
It’s often said that college is the best time to hook up. Indeed, you’re surrounded by women all the time, so it’s your best chance to explore what you like and don’t like about the opposite sex.
Most likely, you’re hornier now than you’ll ever be. Also, you’re too young to be thinking about marriage or kids, so if there’s a time to get the hooking-up phase “out of your system”, it’s now. It’s often suggested that men who get married without going through this phase end up regretting it when they’re older.
On the other hand, there are advantages to dating seriously in college too. For starters, a deeper connection with one woman can be a lot more fulfilling than meaningless hookups. Plus, when you have a serious girlfriend in college, you don’t need to let your pursuit of girls distract you from your studies.
To summarize the pros and cons of finding a serious girlfriend and hooking up:
Dating seriously in college
- A serious relationship is more meaningful than hookups.
- You can tie down a high-value woman while she’s young, potentially before she only considers dating super-rich and successful guys.
- You get regular access to sex without the effort of going to parties all the time.
- If you settle down with the first girl that likes you, how are you meant to know if she’s right for you?
- You miss out on the fun of hooking up at college parties. It’s regularly suggested this is “part of the college experience”.
- You might regret not going through the “hookup phase” later on in your life.
Hooking up in college
- It’s fun.
- You’ll learn more about what type of sex you like, what type of girls you like and about dating in general.
- You get the hooking-up phase “out of your system” while you’re young, so you have no regrets when you finally settle down.
- Maybe you miss out on a relationship with a great girl, just for a few extra meaningless hookups.
- Regularly hooking up can be dangerous if you’re not practicing safe sex.
- The constant pursuit of girls can distract you from your studies.
How to Date in College
Cold-approaching women and being direct about your intentions can be very effective in most scenarios, but in college, there could be social repercussions. That’s why when asked how to date in college, I always recommend using “social circle game”.
Let’s say you creep a woman out, perhaps by being too polarizing or missing social cues. This is far more likely when you’re explicitly trying to pick her up. It happens to the best of us.
In most big city scenarios, you’d probably never see that woman again, so there’d be no long-term consequences. Yet, in college, it’s highly likely you’ll cross paths in the future. There’s also a chance that the creeped-out woman will warn her friends about you. Perhaps her friends warn their friends. Before you know it, you’ve developed a reputation as the creepy pick-up artist.
Using “word of mouth” in your favor
Now, let’s imagine you approached the same woman indirectly. You continued chatting, remained fun and friendly, then invited her to some party. Now, when you see her again, she isn't intimidated by you at all. She’ll probably introduce her friends to you. Instead of some random man, you’re now a cool guy that has been vetted and recommended by her friend.
It’s important to understand how powerful this is. Most women would prefer to date and sleep with guys they meet through their social circle. For starters, these guys are far less likely to present a threat to her physical safety. Sadly, women have to consider this.
What’s more, they’re less likely to endanger her social reputation. Women in college are particularly conscious about this. It’s not uncommon for college students to prioritize their popularity above everything. If she’s caught going off with some random man, she risks being labeled a loser or (even worse) a slut.
But what if she bags the guy her friends already know and love? That will send your status skyrocketing. As such, when you become that guy, you can expect to have all the women fighting for your attention.
How to meet girls in college without hitting on them
It’s not difficult to meet women in college. There are tons of parties to meet girls, events to interact with them and clubs for you to join. There are bound to be plenty of women in your classes, provided you’re not studying one of the STEM subjects. By putting yourself out there and being social, you’ll have no problem meeting women.
So, the real question isn’t how to meet girls in college, but how to build an ongoing friendship.
If you both attend the same classes or events regularly, it’s simply a case of regular conversation, being cool and inviting her to some group event. The friendship will then grow organically. Psychology nerds can check out this Social Psych Online article to learn how mere exposure makes us like something more.
If you’re not due to regularly cross paths, you’ll need to offer some sort of value--a reason for her to want to pursue a friendship. If you were fun enough when you met her, it might be enough to swap social media details and invite her to parties. This isn't about hitting on her, it's about building rapport.
However, the key to attracting the best college women into your circle is offering value that other guys can’t. Perhaps you’re hosting an exclusive party at a cool venue with free alcohol. Maybe you know a professional photographer who wants to shoot women for free. If you were born into money, organize some extravagant trip and offer to pay. The cooler you are--or the cooler the event is--the more likely that women will want to become part of it.
Using social media to leverage “social circle game”
By swapping social media details instead of phone numbers, you’re far more likely to attract women to your events. For starters, they can learn more about you from your profile, creating the mere-exposure effect that builds trust and attraction.
While getting a girl's number is great, swapping social media handles means they can learn more about your event, provided you take cool photos and videos of it. If it’s a regular event and they see that the last one was awesome, you can bet they’ll be biting your hands off for an invite.
Let’s say your Instagram profile has lots of videos of you partying at one of your events. There are tons of attractive women fawning over you. Perhaps there are even celebrities in attendance. In this scenario, how much “attraction” would you need to build when initially meeting a woman? A better strategy would be to remain 100% friendly and unthreatening, swap social media details and let your profile build attraction for you.
From there, you could begin flirtation in the DMs or invite her to your event and put the moves on there.
Your “social circle game” strategy
Your first step is to befriend 4-5 attractive women who attend your college. This should be enough to get the ball rolling. You can befriend more if you wish, but you want to get laid at some point, right?
Either way, these women are off-limits as far as romantic relationships. This is strictly friendship. Still, they must be attractive because these women are the most likely to be popular and have attractive friends. This is how the world works…
If you prefer, you can make a move on girls on campus with an indirect opener. Either way, you’re going to build genuine friendships with them. Get to know them. Give a damn about who they are. Tell them something deep and true about you to build an emotional connection. Do them favors if you have to. Whatever it takes for them to adore you as a friend.
How to meet girls in college through your event
Next, start organizing your regular group event. As the stereotypical hot college woman only really cares about partying, alcohol and Instagram photos, anything involving these is likely to appeal to the masses. You can think outside the box, but it might be harder to attract a lot of people to your event.
Invite your 4-5 “besties” and tell them to bring their friends. You can bet they’ll be more than excited to meet you. Even if some of them have a boyfriend, chances are many of them are single. Hooking up with them should be like playing a game on easy mode.
Don’t forget to take awesome photos and videos of the event to share on social media, so more women are excited to come next time. Of course, you can invite guys too. It won’t take anywhere near as much effort for them to attend. Aim for a high female-to-male ratio to boost your odds of hooking up but not so high that the women get bored and leave.
Perhaps the toughest part of this strategy--after initially befriending 4-5 college women--is not trying to hook up with them. Do resist the urge to make a move on them, though. Hooking up even once could complicate the friendship and ruin your chances of sleeping with her mates. It’s like eating the pregnant sow before it gives birth.
What if I don’t want to organize events?
Perhaps you think organizing parties sounds like too much work. Fair enough. It’s natural for humans to want everything while offering nothing.
If you’re a naturally attractive guy, you’ll probably hook up at the bar, parties or even from direct daytime approaches. Yet, you’re running the risk of being labeled the “pick-up guy.” You can make friends with women and have them invite their mates to Olive Garden with you. Yet, you’re running the risk of everyone having better things to do.
The social circle strategy described above requires some energy to set up, but it’s plain sailing from there. By putting in the effort to create a great regular group event, you reap the rewards.
This strategy also works with women at the gym or at work
You can also use social circle game not just to meet girls in college, but also to get to know women at your gym, the office or any other environment where you see the same people time and again.
After all, it’s too risky to be labeled as the creepy pick-up guy at these places. It can become very awkward at the gym. You can get fired from your job. So, stop seeing the women as potential conquests, and start befriending them.
This will lead to easier romantic opportunities--and less potentially awkward moments--in the long run.
Tips for Dating Seriously in College
If you’re planning on dating someone seriously while you’re in college, here are some tips to ensure you have a long and happy relationship together.
Respect each other’s study time
Yes, you’ll want to see plenty of each other if you’re in a serious relationship. But, college is about your studies first and foremost. If your partner needs to take some time away from you to study, respect that.
Respect each other’s friendships
It’s inevitable that your partner is going to be surrounded by her friends - both male and female - on most days. The social aspect of college is a big part of the appeal. If you have a problem with your girlfriend spending time with male friends, you’re better off not having a serious relationship while in college.
Draw up boundaries for behavior at parties
Parties are a big part of the college lifestyle too. You shouldn’t expect your girlfriend to forego the party lifestyle just because she’s coupled up. With that said, it’s worth explaining your boundaries for each other’s behavior at these wild college parties, so that neither of you accidentally disrespect the other person.
Support each other
College can be stressful as well as fun. One of the benefits of being coupled up is that you have someone to support you through these tough times. Make sure you do the same for them.
Have time apart from each other
If you’re both living on campus, it can be easy for you to see each other every single day. However, this might not be the healthiest thing, especially early on in your relationship. One or both of you can end up feeling smothered. Make sure to respect each other’s need for some downtime from the relationship too. You can use this to focus on building other friendships or engaging in extra-curricular activities.
Tips for Finding a Potential Long-Term Girlfriend in College
Not every girl in college is going to be looking for a long-term relationship. Here are some tips to help you find girls looking for something more serious.
Avoid the party girls who are sleeping around a lot
These are unlikely candidates to be looking for a serious relationship. They’re too busy enjoying their freedom.
Look for girls with the same interests as you
These are likely to make better long-term relationship material than a woman you simply find “hot”. You can find girls who share your interests easily by joining extra-curricular clubs surrounding these activities.
Try talking to the older girls on campus
They’re more likely to have gotten over the party phase already. As such, they could be looking for something more serious.
Use a dating app focused on long-term relationships
While most dating apps are focused on hook-ups, there are some out there which are built specifically to help people find long-term relationships. Our favorite is eHarmony. This app has won several awards and has been recognized for the quality of its user base.
Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship or years of hooking-up with strangers, you’ve now read all the tips you could need for how to date in college. Whichever path you take, enjoy it! These are the best years of your life.