You know when you feel like you connecting but can't tell if you should be making a move on a girl? Does she want me to make a move on her or will she think I'm a creep?
You definitely don't want to be that handsy guy who just starts grabbing at her.
You need to always check that a girl is giving you clear signals before you start making a move.
There's even a science name for it: haptic communication.
Rather than rely on words, haptic communication uses touch and body language.
Women are socialized not to be the sexual aggressors, so a lot of the time, women will show you that they're interested in being touched by giving you very light, flirtatious touches.
If you first met online (perhaps from one of the high rated sites on our annual review of the top websites for dating older women) you need to meet in person as quickly as possible.
But they're not going to invade your personal space to do it, so you'll need to adjust your own body language.
Let your arms rest on the bar or table within her arm's reach and cross your leg toward her.
This way, if she wants to touch you for emphasis, she'll be able to.
Similarly, is her body language open to you?
Keep in mind that social code dictates that women have a much more "closed off" posture than men (i.e.: legs together or crossed, not "spreading" too much with their limbs or body), so a girl's signals with might be a little more subtle.
A woman who is interesting in you making a move will let her arms or legs be just slightly in your personal space.
A great way to do this is to touch her arm, knee or shoulder lightly for emphasis.
"Oh, that reminds me…" is a natural segue for this because it's friendly, but not too forward.
Keep your hand there for a second or two and then remove it.
If she's not interested, she'll pull her hand away or close her body language.
If she returns the touch, it's a very good sign.
There's a cool body communication trick that works if you're meeting a woman at a bar.
(Or a diner counter, if you're not drinking.)
Check to see if a woman's hips or shoulders are facing yours.
If neither her hips nor shoulders are facing you, she doesn't want to be touched.
If either her hips or her shoulders are facing yours, it's a good sign.
If both her hips and her shoulders are facing yours, she's definitely interested.
(Or you're in the middle of a very heated debate.)
When we're interested in someone, we naturally lean into them.
Waiters will tell you that if you were to watch people on a first date, you'd notice that both of them would be sitting straight in their chairs (or slouching if they have that bad habit) at the beginning of the evening.
By the end, you can tell how well the date went by how they're both sitting.
Leaning in means, "I'm interested and engaged in what we're sharing right now."
Sitting straight up means, "I haven't made my mind up yet."
And leaning back means, "I'm looking for you to say something to change my mind."
This is especially true if you're trying to make a move on an older woman.
Blushing happens when adrenaline causes your blood to flow faster and the blood vessels to open wide.
This causes the pink in the cheeks we know so well in blushing.
It's this rush of excitement and thrill, mixed with maybe just a smidgen of embarrassment, that you should definitely take a sign that a girl likes you and you should be making a move on her.
Flirting should be fun!
Even if you're not a comedian by nature, try to keep the conversation light and fun.
A girl who is having a good time getting to know you will be smiling and laughing when she talks to you.
Humans are naturally programmed to mirror the expressions of someone we're talking to, so you should be doing plenty of laughing and smiling yourself.
A lot of women get the giggles when they're interested in someone, so if she's giggling and blushing, it's a great sign that she's ready for you to make a move.
The "flirting triangle" is a great way to assess a girl's interest.
(It's also a rally great way to demonstrate your own interest as well!)
The "flirting triangle" looks from one eye to the next and then down toward the mouth.
Some girls will look away shyly after the triangle or subconsciously bat their eyelashes a little.
Unlike a lot of haptic communication, the triangle doesn't come into play in friendly situations.
If you find yourself exchanging a few "flirting triangle" glances with a girl, it's time to start making a move.
I can't stress how important this is.
Before making a move on a girl, check to see that you're in the right place.
If she's in full view of her friends or colleagues, throw out a suggestion that gets her out of their direct sight.
This could be going to get a drink at a bar, checking out a patio, or whatever your location offers you.
If you're out on a dinner date, walking her to her car is a great opportunity for making a move on a girl.
This is especially important if you're online dating.
Is the conversation flowing easily?
Are you finding common ground and shared interests?
If you're both struggling to find something to talk about together, don't try to force the chemistry by making a move.
It won't work and it'll make both of you feel bad.
Even if you're both dealing with nerves or shyness, you should be able to tell if you're sharing a flirtatious rapport.
Sometimes on first date two people just don't "click."
That's totally okay! Don't feel bad about not making a move.
Just be a gentleman and get back out there.
With these tips, you'll learn whether or not you should make a move on a girl. Pay attention to what she says and does. It could spell the difference between building attraction and turning her off!