Many guys are trying to figure out how to make the first move on an older woman in the best possible way.
Today I'll explain exactly how to do that and show you several steps you can take to increase your chances of success greatly. These steps will make sure that your first move is going to be smooth and that you'll look confident doing so.
First of all, you have to understand that older women are different from younger inexperienced girls when it comes to seduction. They have different needs, different goals, and you tend to meet them in different places (check out our favorite places to meet single older women if you need some new ideas).
Older women have seen many different guys approach them and try to chat them up throughout the years. Due to that, they have significant experience in dating and can instantly spot when a man is faking it. This makes it easy to see if a man just wants sex and nothing else or if he's genuinely interested in getting to know them.
So, unless you're meeting an older woman who's specifically looking for a quick fling, being genuinely interested in her personality is a must. Otherwise, she'll quickly figure you out and your date will go nowhere fast.
In fact, this is also great dating advice in general. The key to being successful with women is to treat all women as people. And not as some strange creatures from another planet who communicate in an unknown language.
If you are looking for some more in-depth guidance on your approach to dating older we have a few favorite books on the subject worth checking out. Now, with that important tidbit out of the way, here are the steps of how to make the first move on an older woman:
When you see an older woman who you're interested in, pay attention to her body language.
Someone's body language will let you know more about them and their state of mind than their words ever could. Particularly, notice if there are any defensive or negative gestures or clues. For example, if a woman is standing with her arms crossed and appears to have closed-off body language, it may not be the best time to approach her. Also, if she looks uncomfortable, seems stressed out or shows any other signs of negativity, it would be wise to make your move at some other time.
Conversely, if she's comfortable with herself, looks to be at ease, doesn't seem tense and is smiling, it's a great time to approach. Especially if she shows you some positive clues, like prolonged eye contact, playing with her hair while smiling at you, and so on.
Similarly, before you approach, take notice of your body language as well. Make sure that your body language is calm, relaxed and smooth. Don't slouch, hold correct posture and shine a warm and genuine smile.
This is, by far, the most important step of making the first move.
If you have the wrong type of mindset before you approach an older woman, you'll fail before you even utter a single word. With the wrong mindset you’ll come off as weird, needy, desperate or even creepy. With the right mindset, however, you can exude confidence.
The thoughts that you have going through your mind when you're interacting with women are what's going to make or break the whole experience. If you have thoughts like "What do I say to her so that she'll like me?" Or something like "What do women want?" and "I have to impress her somehow!" then you'll most likely fail.
That's because thoughts like these are exactly what makes guys treat women as objects and not as people. Every woman is her own individual and she’ll like many different things depending on her personal taste. Plus, why would you even want to impress someone before you actually find out who they are? That’d imply that you only value their looks and nothing else, and that you want something from them.
Here's a proper mindset to have running through your mind while you approach: "Wow, you look amazing in that dress. But are you actually a kind, warm and interesting person? Let's find out!"
Approaching with such a mindset instantly puts you ahead of many guys who are trying to figure out how to get into a woman's pants. It makes you focus on figuring out who the woman is and on getting to know her personality above all else.
Continuing from the second step, you have to put all your ulterior motives aside before starting a conversation with an older woman.
That's because if you're going into the interaction with an older woman just because you want to get laid and nothing else, she'll quickly figure you out. If her goal isn't also to have casual sex with someone that night, then she'll most likely not want to talk to you.
When you meet older women, they can sense neediness and desperation very quickly. It reeks off a man like a cheap perfume would. And having an ulterior motive of only approaching someone to get sex is incredibly desperate. Because it shows that you don't care at all about who the person is, as long as you get to have sex with them.
Older women who have experience in dating will quickly figure this out. So the best course of action would be to let go of that want, at least for the moment.
Before you approach, focus on getting to know her and disregard your carnal needs until you figure out who she is. You have to wait with that until you genuinely like her because of who she is as a person, and until she likes you as well. Having standards is very important and it's also an incredibly attractive trait to have. Otherwise, you’ll be labeled as someone who would sleep with just about anything that moves.
This step of making the first move is pretty simple, but it's one of the most important ones out there. That's because if you don't actually approach, you'll never be able to pick up older women.
I understand that approach anxiety is a huge issue for many guys, but there's no real way of beating it other than facing your fears and just approaching. At first, it may seem terrifying, but if you practice doing approaches and talking to women who you find interesting, it’ll eventually get better.
Basically, you just shine a warm smile, relax your muscles and then put one foot in front of the other until you reach her. Then you simply say something like: "Hello! I thought you looked very cute when I saw you. I'm so and so, and who are you?"
It doesn't have to be anything more complicated than that. All my approaches start with a simple and genuine "Hi!" and then I just take it from there.
If you don't spot the signs she wants to be approached and get rejected, don't worry. No one is successful 100 percent of the time. That's because no matter who you are, no matter what you do and no matter what you have going on in your life, some people are just not going to like you. Take it as an opportunity to learn and adjust your approach. Then move on to someone else and eventually, you'll get a positive response more often.
After the "Hi!" and the introductions, your best bet is to simply take a genuine interest in getting to know her.
When you’re about to make your first move on her, make sure that you're being authentic when you're talking to her. This means that you should always represent your true nature and beliefs. It also means that you should never pretend to like the things you don't like, or feign interest in things that are not interesting to you, just to try to impress her.
When she notices this about you, she'll naturally be very attracted to you as a result. This will also make it easy to choose the topics of your conversation. That's because when you're being authentic, you're going to want to talk about the things that are actually interesting to you.
Be sure to take an interest in her interests as well and talk about them, too. You don’t want to seem self-centered and only talk about your interests while disregarding everything else.
Finally, make sure the conversation you're having is either fun, interesting or exciting. And make doubly sure that it's completely lighthearted and not serious at this point so that she enjoys your company. This fun and fresh demeanor is what draws plenty of older women to younger men.
The crucial point of how to make the first move is, of course, to ask her out! It doesn't matter where you meet older women, the end game at this point is to ask her out and get her to say yes.
That's pretty easy to do, by the way. You can do it without being awkward, too. Once you notice that she's enjoying your company and that you're both having a pleasant conversation together, you invite her somewhere or get her number.
A simple "Hey, it's been so much fun talking to you! We should exchange numbers and go get coffee sometime!" will do the trick.
Again, it doesn't have to be anything complicated. As long as you say that you've enjoyed your time with her, found her pleasant and interesting, and you want to meet her again sometime, it's fine.
When you’re finally on a date with the older woman you’re interested in, it’s going to be time to make your first move.
But first, see to it that you both have a wonderful time on your date. Get to know her more, connect with her on a deeper level and establish some rapport. After that, flirt with her and tease her a little bit to create attraction. Then, once she’s showing some signs she’s ready to move this further, move the conversation onto sexual topics and use innuendos to create sexual tension.
Also, don’t forget about one of the most important aspects of seduction, the physical touch. You should be touching her gently at appropriate moments throughout your date to establish that you’re a physical guy and to make her more comfortable with your touch.
Once there’s some sexual tension between the two of you, it’s going to be the perfect time to make your first move. When you see that she’s having a great time and is comfortable with your touch, you can lean in and kiss her. Gradually, become more physical when making out. Make sure to go slow at first to ensure the other person is on the same page as you.
At this point, if everything’s going well and you see that she’s completely into it and is all hot and bothered, you can even invite her to go somewhere more private.
And there you have it -- The seven steps on how to make the first move on an older woman are pretty straightforward.
To recap, watch her body language cues and make sure that she's comfortable. Then, notice your own body language as well and be sure to relax, stay calm and shine a warm smile.
After that, employ the right mindsets and remove the wrong thoughts like "how to impress her" from your mind. Next, put your ulterior motives aside for now and focus on getting to know her as a person.
When that's done, you approach her and introduce yourself. You find out who she is and try to make the conversation either fun, exciting or interesting for the both of you. After that, you simply ask her out and go on a date with her. Finally, you make sure to have a pleasant date and then you make your first move.
If she enjoyed your company, it will all go great for you. If she didn't enjoy your company, the first move you made won't go anywhere, but you'll have gained a lot of valuable experience. Learn from it, adjust your approach, and eventually you'll find someone who's very much into you.