So, you want to know how to approach a woman at the gym and create attraction every time? Of course, you do! I’m a single, gym-going woman and a well-known dating coach.
If you believe the myth of how to approach a woman at the gym is to do nothing, because it is in bad taste, you are dead wrong. By being a non-talking, non-flirting gym goer, you are ruining any chance of having a date or a relationship with a hot woman from the gym, who looks incredible in tight running pants.
If you haven’t been meeting women at the gym it’s time to get your hands off the free weights and onto the woman you want to be with physically for a night or something longer term.
Being an observant woman who works out at the gym regularly and is frustrated with the lack of flirting going on there, I want you to know something. I fully appreciate it when a man dares to strike up a conversation with me. And the sad thing is it rarely happens. Men and women are scared to talk to each other. According to Jaclyn Sklaver, C.P.T, a fitness coach and nutritionist, at NYC’s Peak Perform has seen many relationships and marriages come from meetups at the gym. The gym is the perfect place to meet a honey.
First I want to get into your inner game before we go into the specific details of talking to a woman at the gym.
You can’t stop watching dirty movies because a real woman hasn't been in your bed for a very long time. You’re doing yourself a disservice by thinking sex is like adult films. An older woman’s lovemaking is much better than what you can imagine. Because she has experience.
What you are seeing in the pictures with the up-close shots of shaved women who all look the same downtown, isn’t like the regular world.
The women in the movie industry are what the movie creators have created to be your fantasy.
All of the “fantasy” of conditioning and the variety of real women’s bodies are different. Embrace the idea that your "ideal" might not look like these perfect looking women.
Knowing this alone will give you more of a chance of catching that hottie you want to meet at the gym because she is a real person and not just an object.
You can learn a lot about how to approach a woman at the gym by learning about what women crave.
When you go to the gym, don’t just go to workout, go to network. Get to know the people who check you in and the people around you. Be the guy that is friendly to the man cleaning the bathrooms, not just the hot women. Women appreciate a man who makes good conversation and is friendly.
When a woman sees that you are the guy that everyone smiles at and says hello too, she will notice, and this will create attraction before you even speak. Be the man everyone likes already. There is a thing called social proof.
Social proof is a psychological phenomenon that happens in public and sways the way a woman behaves and feels.
Here’s an example of social proof. You and your buddies go downtown and see a long line at a club. It looks enticing. It seems busy. It appears to be the place to be seen.
Across the street is a bar with a few stragglers inside.
Where does everyone want to go? The lame bar with a couple of chubby men drinking beers in it? No.
The cool people want to go to the club with the crowds of people wrapped around the block, because of social proof. If other people like it, most people assume it must be cool. It must be the place to go. I want you to be that club and be that guy.
If you become the guy at the gym that everyone wants to know, because you are fun and friendly with everyone, you will have a much better chance of getting the women in the gym approaching you instead of the other way around.
Wear decent looking clothes. Spend a couple of bucks on at least one or two nice things to wear to the gym, and it doesn't have to be fancy.
You don’t need to drop a thousand dollars in 10 different gym outfits. A couple of regular t-shirts and some sweats or shorts will do. I think guys look great in a classic white t-shirt, but darker may hide sweat better.
Please, don’t be the guy wearing the wife beater tank, or pit-stained track champion shirt he’s been sporting since High School. And yes, there is more.
If a woman is at the gym, she may be hoping to get in shape to look good for herself and a man, but if she is focused on getting a great body, she doesn’t want to be interrupted half-way through her reps.
Pay attention and let her finish her wide-grip lat pulldown before you approach her. Because when you are kissing her back you will appreciate how great it looks and the way her body feels under your hands and lips. Don't interrupt her mid-crunches.
Make eye contact, but don’t stare her down like you are a pit bull eyeing up a bacon cheeseburger. And don’t look like you are going to beat her up with your “I’m picking up way more weight than I need to” face.
If she is wearing headphones, assume she doesn't want to chat right this second.
Instead, give her a warm smile, and make sure you use more than your mouth. Make it a genuine grin using the muscles in your face, so it makes your eyes crinkle a little.
If you don’t talk to her today, keep going to the gym, and she will probably be back to work out again, especially if she’s been a regular there for a while. You don’t want to seem desperate and need to approach her this red hot minute.
You are a man with patience and options.
Look around you, there are beautiful women all over the place, and many of them are on the elliptical wishing a cute guy would come over and talk to them. I know, because I am one of these women.
I have even given men at the gym pretty obvious flirting clues, and many of them are too chicken to approach. Don't be that guy. They probably think they aren’t supposed to meet a woman at the gym, and I wish they would.
Feminine women love a masculine man that isn’t afraid to approach her and start a conversation when the time is right. If you see her looking at you, (and pretending not to), she might be interested in you already.
When you want to meet a woman at the gym, you don’t want to butt into a conversation or chat her up in the middle of her five miles run where she can barely keep her breath.
You can pass her by the water fountain or when she is walking by your bench. You don’t need to get her number today either. You can be the guy that makes her wait.
But get her number if there is a good connection and you think it feels right.
You don’t need to come up with something brilliant, but if you can, that’s great too.
One of my great love affairs started with a man saying “Hi” to me in a department store. And I said "Hi" back. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was one for the record books.
Say, “Hi,” and go from there.
When you try to meet a woman at the gym, the worst thing you can do is to tell her she is smoking, sexy, hot, or beautiful. If she’s gorgeous— she knows it and doesn’t yet another guy telling her how good she looks.
Physical compliments are exhausting and annoying.
Instead, ask her where she gets her cool workout clothes, or tell her she looks like she knows what she’s doing with her deadlifts and ask her if she can spot you jokingly. Say something, but do not say “You sure are beautiful”. Ugh.
These are the best ways to get you started to meet women at the gym. I know you have been looking forward to meeting more women. And if she is one of the women who have a boyfriend don’t take it personally, there is another sexy woman on the treadmill right behind you.