Are you having trouble finding your groove and want to learn how to approach a girl in a club successfully? Then you're in the right place!
Nightclubs are among the most difficult places to meet women if you're a beginner. Because they're very loud, high-octane environments where first impressions matter more than most. It's one of the reasons you won't find clubs on our best places to meet older women if that's your thing.
But if you learn how to get a girl in a club the right way, you'll increase your chances drastically.
Let me preface everything by saying that having success with women in clubs is very hit-or-miss. Nightclubs are notorious for loud music, drunk people everywhere, lots of crazy dancing as well as top fashion.
In nightclubs, it's more important than anywhere else that you look, feel and act your absolute best. Because first impressions matter more than anything else when you're in a place where you can hardly hear anyone speak. Your image and your body has to do most of the “talking.”
It's a place where women instantly judge whether they’ll want to sleep with you or not. Most of the time, you only have five to fifteen seconds to make a great impression; or you're totally out.
This is also one of the reasons why developing powerful body language is crucial if you want to make a great first impression in a club.
Furthermore, by saying that nightclubs are a numbers game, I mean that you should expect to get rejected. Very often and hard; because that's just how things are in a club. But that's perfectly fine because you'll be able to approach hundreds of women in a good nightclub, on any given night.
So it won't matter if the first ten or even twenty women reject you. Because if you persist, you'll have success eventually. And you'll often be able to take someone home with you the very same night.
All of the above is why I usually say that nightclubs are horrible for beginners who want to get laid but can't take rejection easily. However, they're among the best places to learn how to not give a damn about rejection, for that very same reason.
You can quickly build a very thick skin if you have the willpower to barrel through those initial rejections. Until you hit that proverbial pot of gold.
Remember what I always say: No matter who you are, no matter what you do and no matter what you have going on in your life, some people are just not going to like you. My saying is particularly true for clubs because people can instantly go meet and talk to someone else if they don't like who they're currently talking with.
When learning about how to get a girl in a club, you should understand that there's no one best way to do it. It all depends on what you personally prefer and what you're good at.
For example, if you're a great dancer, you can approach women exclusively on the dance floor. And if you're a good talker, you should avoid loud areas and hang out mostly at the lounge, lobby, or the bar.
Basically, you should figure out your strengths and weaknesses and play only to your strengths.
That said, there are some things you should know about and do, no matter how you choose to approach women in nightclubs.
It's not unusual to get rejected by nine out of ten women who you approach in clubs, if you're a regular dude. But if you play to your strengths and make sure to implement the things I'll talk about next, you'll get rejected significantly less than that.
First, as already mentioned before, you need to develop powerful body language. Since clubs are all about making a great first impression, it's critical that you don't look like a wimp.
Women go to clubs to have fun, drink, and to party. When emotions are high and when blood alcohol levels reach a certain point, what drives women wild are strong and powerful men. As long as you master strong body language, you can easily look the part. Then half of your battles will already be won.
Next, you have to look great. Proper grooming and hygiene is critical here, but they're just the basics.
By looking great, I mean you have to have a good sense of style and wear clothes that look great on you. I’m not talking about your sheer genetic looks here. Because even an average guy can look like a great catch if they improve their sense of style and employ fitting grooming.
But don’t go running out to spend a huge wad of cash on very expensive clothes as soon as you hear this.You can wear anything, even thrift shop clothes, as long as they look great on you and show everyone that you have style.
If you're not sure how to pull that off or think that you have a horrible sense of style, I suggest getting some female friends or even a gay guy friend. Or look through various men's magazines, websites and similar places to get some help.
Once you've gotten your body language in order and your appearance in check, you need to learn how to not hesitate while approaching.
Hesitation kills all possible attraction immediately. When most gorgeous women in a club notice you hesitating to approach them, they'll want nothing to do with you.
Under no circumstances should you stare at them and not go and talk to them. Or look like a lost puppy and that you have no idea what you're doing.
Lastly, you should always be having fun! Or at least look like you're having fun.
Nothing wilts a lady-boner harder in a club environment than a man who looks lost and confused. Or a man who's having zero fun and is just a wallflower holding a drink.
Also, the more fun you genuinely have in a club, the less you'll get rejected and the easier it will be to approach women successfully. That's because people will notice you going around and spreading that fun everywhere you go. Women will see this and will become much more responsive to your advances. Because everyone likes to hang out with a genuinely fun person!
So don't hesitate to go talk to everyone, high-five people, laugh a lot and make new friends. People will see you're a fun and social guy and they'll want to hang out with you more.
I can't overemphasize these main points enough when talking about how to approach a girl in a club successfully. These four things alone will set you apart from the vast majority of men and will make sure your first impression is top notch. These things aren't as important when approaching women literally anywhere else, but in clubs -- they're an absolute must.
We're finally at a point where I show you how to approach a girl in a club.
Essentially, it's the same no matter how you look at it: You simply walk up to a woman you find attractive and enthusiastically say "Hi!" Followed by whatever is on your mind.
Because in nightclubs, it's much more apparent than anywhere else that it's not what you say, but how you say it.
Always remember that clubs are high-energy environments and people go there to have fun. So you have to bring the fun with you wherever you go. And you have to always at least match or even exceed the energy level of the people who you approach. Otherwise, you’ll be known as a “downer” or someone who comes to leech energy.
That's why it's crucial you show some enthusiasm and emotion when you walk up to someone. This is a very important part of how to get a girl in a club. Especially if it's a group of girls you're approaching, which is much more likely to be the case.
Fact is, it's very rare you'll see a woman alone in a club, so you're mostly going to be approaching at least two women at a time. Or women who are in a group of friends, which can very often include guys.
But don't become discouraged if you see that there's a guy tagging along with the women who you're interested in. It's much more likely that he's just a friend or an acquaintance. You should approach her anyway and then figure that out when you're talking to her. I usually say "So how do you guys know each other?" after a bit of conversation.
Now, after you approach and enthusiastically introduce yourself, don't forget about all the important things I mentioned above. Make sure you look great, have powerful body language, and that you don't hesitate. If she's receptive and doesn't reject you outright (Which is fine, remember? In that case, go talk to the next girl!) then you can begin flirting with her immediately.
Since people's' attention spans are going to be very short, you have to make it a fun and memorable experience for her. Tease her, make her laugh, show her you're a physical guy by hugging her and lifting her up and spinning her around, etc. You have to stand out from all the rest and inject a huge dose of fun into your brief interaction. So that she remembers you and greets you enthusiastically when you meet her again.
Which brings me to my next point: Do not stick around!
This is one of the most important things to successfully getting a girl in a club environment.
After your initial conversation, don't stick to her like glue, as if you've got nothing better to do. Sure, it might go well, but if she sees that you're clingy and that you're now going to follow her around, then she'll lose her attraction towards you.
Granted, you can stick around if she's obviously very much into you as well. But other than that, LEAVE!
Tell her it's been great, tell her you're going to go dance or join your friends, or do some other stuff and that you'll see her later.
She'll now be emotionally charged, you won't seem too easy and too eager, and she'll begin chasing you herself if you've done everything right. In the meantime, go talk to other people, both guys and girls. But most importantly, go talk to other girls so that you have some other prospects. Just in case this one doesn't work out.
Basically, go do this to every girl you find attractive in a club and you'll have a bunch of options. You'll seem much more fun and social to others and women may even start competing for you. Interact with all women briefly and powerfully, so that they associate you with a great time.
And then, after the club's reached its peak time and things start to wind down, go talk to all these women who remember you fondly. Try to take them somewhere more private for a personal conversation. Like to a lounge, bar, or couch on the outskirts where you can be far away from others.
After that, it's a matter of having some more fun, lots of touching, then making out and taking one of these women home. If you do everything correctly, you’ll hook up with many women from clubs.
Finally, don’t be discouraged if you often face rejection in clubs. That’s just the name of the game and how things are in these places. Even the most spectacularly successful “players” still get rejected a lot. They know exactly how to get a girl in a club but also understand they have to persist through lots of rejection.
Guys who are great with women end up going home with someone because they try more than most. Not because the first girl they walk up to accepts their advances and wants to jump their bones right away.
Keep that in mind, continue approaching and not taking things to heart too much, and you’ll go very far!
And that's how to get a girl in a club pretty much every single night you go out. That's how I've done it all the time and I've rarely had evenings when I had to go home alone.
Now you know exactly how to approach a girl in a club and have things go your way the majority of the time. It's up to you to take charge and get things in motion.
For a lot of guys, clubs may seem too overwhelming at first. But when you apply all of the above and get some practice under your belt, things will start going great eventually.