Are you having trouble finding your groove and want to learn how to approach a girl in the club successfully? Then you're in the right place!
Nightclubs are among the most difficult places to meet women if you're a beginner. That’s because they're very loud, high-octane environments where first impressions matter more than most other places. It's one of the reasons you won't find clubs in our list of best places to meet older women if that's your thing.
But if you learn how to pick up girls at the club the right way, you'll increase your chances of success dramatically.
Approaching Women in Clubs Is a Numbers Game
Let me preface everything by saying that having success with women in clubs is very hit-or-miss. Nightclubs are notorious for loud music, drunk people everywhere, lots of crazy dancing as well as top fashion.
In nightclubs, it's more important than anywhere else to look, feel and act your absolute best. Because first impressions matter more than anything else when you're in a place where you can hardly hear anyone speak. Your image and your body have to do most of the “talking.”
It's a place where women instantly judge whether they’ll want to sleep with you or not. Most of the time, you only have five to fifteen seconds to make a great impression; or you're totally out.
This is also one of the reasons why developing powerful body language is crucial if you want to make a great first impression in a club.
Furthermore, by saying that nightclubs are a numbers game, I mean you should expect to get rejected. Very often and hard; because that's just how things are in a club. But that's perfectly fine because you'll be able to approach hundreds of women in a good nightclub on any given night.
So it won't matter if the first ten or even twenty women reject you. Because if you persist, you'll have success eventually, as long as you learn and improve your approach. And you'll often be able to take someone home with you the very same night.
Clubs are great for getting over rejection
All of the above is why I usually say nightclubs are horrible for beginners who want to get laid but can't take rejection easily. Even if they're not the greatest place to meet older women, they're still among the best spots to learn how to not give a damn about rejection for that very same reason.
You can quickly build a very thick skin if you have the willpower to barrel through those initial rejections. That is, until you hit that proverbial pot of gold after learning how to pick up girls at the club.
Remember what I always say: No matter who you are, no matter what you do and no matter what you have going on in your life, some people are just not going to like you. My saying is particularly true for clubs because people can go meet and talk to someone else right away if they don't like who they're currently talking with.
How to Approach a Girl in the Club
When learning about how to get girls in a nightclub, you should understand that there's no single best way to do it. It all depends on what you personally prefer and what you're good at.
For example, if you're a great dancer, you can approach women exclusively on the dance floor. And if you're a good talker, you should avoid loud areas and hang out mostly at the lounge, lobby or the bar.
Basically, you should figure out your strengths and weaknesses and play only to your strengths.
That said, there are some things you should know about and do, no matter how you choose to approach women in nightclubs.
It's not unusual to get rejected by nine out of ten women who you approach in clubs if you're a regular dude. But if you play to your strengths and make sure to implement the things I'll talk about next, you'll get rejected significantly less than that.
Before you even start approaching
First, as already mentioned before, you need to develop powerful body language. Since clubs are all about making a great first impression, it's critical you don't look like a wimp.
Women go to clubs to have fun, drink and party. It's different from approaching women at a bar where the focus is conversation.
When emotions are high and when blood alcohol levels reach a certain point, what drives women wild are strong and powerful men. As long as you master strong body language and know the right time to approach women, you can easily look the part. Then half of your battles will already be won.
Next, when picking up girls at the club, you have to look great. Proper grooming and hygiene are critical here. But they're just the basics.
By looking great, I mean you have to have a good sense of style and wear clothes that look great on you. I’m not talking about your sheer genetic looks here. Because even an average guy can look like a great catch if they improve their sense of style and employ fitting grooming.
But don’t go running out to spend a huge wad of cash on expensive clothes as soon as you hear this. You can wear anything, even thrift shop clothes, as long as they look great on you and show everyone you have style.
If you're not sure how to pull this off or think you have a horrible sense of style, I suggest getting some female friends or even a fashionable guy friend. Or look through various men's magazines, websites and similar places to get some help.
The most important factors when approaching women at nightclubs
Once you've gotten your body language in order and your appearance in check, you need to learn how to not hesitate while approaching.
Hesitation kills all possible attraction immediately. When most gorgeous women in a club notice you hesitating to approach them, they'll want nothing to do with you.
Under no circumstances should you stare at them and not go and talk to them. Or look like a lost puppy and that you have no idea what you're doing. Incidentally, this is also a GIANT turnoff when you approach girls at the gym.
More importantly, you should always be having fun! Or at least look like you're having fun.
Nothing wilts a lady-boner harder in a club environment than a man who looks lost and confused. Or a man who's having zero fun and is just a wallflower holding a drink.
Also, the more fun you genuinely have in a club, the less you'll get rejected and the easier it’ll be to approach women successfully. A girl is also likely to give you hints that she wants to be approached if she sees you’re having fun. That's because people will notice you going around and spreading that fun everywhere you go. Women will see this and will become much more responsive to your advances. Because everyone likes to hang out with a genuinely fun person!
So don't hesitate to go talk to everyone, high-five people, laugh a lot and make new friends. People will see you're a fun and social guy and they'll want to hang out with you more.
I can't overemphasize these main points enough when talking about how to pick up girls at the club successfully.
These four things alone will set you apart from the vast majority of men and will make sure your first impression is top-notch. These things aren't as important when approaching women literally anywhere else. But in clubs -- they're an absolute must.
Here’s exactly how to approach women in nightclubs
We're finally at a point where I show you exactly how to approach a girl in the club.
Essentially, it's the same no matter how you look at it: You simply walk up to a woman you find attractive and enthusiastically say "Hi!" Followed by whatever is on your mind.
Sounds way too simple and ridiculously basic? Yes, it is. But this approach is also extremely powerful in clubs. Because in nightclubs, it's much more apparent than anywhere else that it's not what you say. But how you say something that matters.
Always remember that clubs are high-energy environments and people go there to have fun. So you have to bring the fun with you wherever you go. And you have to always at least match or even exceed the energy level of the people you approach. Otherwise, you’ll be known as a “downer” or someone who comes to leech energy.
That's why it's crucial you show some enthusiasm and emotion when you walk up to someone. This is a very important part of how to pick up girls at the club. Especially if it's a group of girls you're approaching, which is much more likely to be the case.
You’ll often be approaching multiple people in a nightclub
Truth is, it's rare you'll see women by themselves in a club. So you're mostly going to be approaching at least two women at a time. Or women who are in a group of friends, which can often include guys.
Don't become discouraged if you see some guy tagging along with the group. It's much more likely he's just a friend or an acquaintance than one of their lovers.
Barring obvious cases like them making out, you shouldn’t assume anything about the men in the group you want to approach and approach the girl you’re interested in anyway. And then figure out where the guy fits in when you're already talking to the girl. I usually say "So how do you guys know each other?" after some conversation.
More often than not, they’ll say “We’re just friends all partying together,” or even “Oh we just met him here at the club.”
Now, after you approach and enthusiastically introduce yourself, don't forget about all the important things I mentioned above. Make sure you look great, have powerful body language, and don't hesitate. If she's receptive and doesn't reject you outright (Which is fine, remember? In that case, go talk to another girl!) then you can begin flirting with her immediately.
Since people's attention spans are going to be very short, you have to make it a fun and memorable experience for her.
Tease her, make her laugh, show her you're a physical guy by hugging her and lifting her up and spinning her around, etc. You have to stand out from all the rest and inject a huge dose of fun into your brief interaction. So she remembers you and greets you enthusiastically when you meet her again.
This brings me to my next point: Do NOT stick around!
A counterintuitive approach that works wonders
This is one of the most important things to successfully picking up girls at the club. A true secret to success.
After your initial conversation, don't stick to her like glue, as if you've got nothing better to do. Sure, it might go well. But if she sees you're clingy and that you're now going to follow her around, she'll lose most or all of her attraction towards you.
Granted, you can stick around if she's obviously very much into you as well. But other than that, LEAVE!
Tell her it's been great hanging out with her, tell her you're going to go dance or join your friends, or do some other stuff and that you'll see her later.
If she liked you and thought you’re cool, she'll now be emotionally charged. You won't seem too easy and too eager to please and she'll begin chasing you herself if you've done everything right.
In the meantime, go talk to other people, both guys and girls. But most importantly, go talk to other girls so you have some other prospects in the works. Just in case this one doesn't work out.
Doing this will create a lot of attraction. Not just because you won’t seem desperate to get with her. But also because of the “abundance with women” mentality.
You see, when girls in clubs see you talking to many different women and everyone around you having fun, they’ll wonder what’s so special about you. They’ll start thinking of you and asking themselves why you don’t talk to them so much, etc.
All of this will create massive anticipation and eagerness to get with you. And that’s the core of how to get girls at the club successfully.
How to Talk to Girls in the Club
Now that you know exactly how to approach women in nightclubs, it’s time to learn how to talk to girls at clubs.
Talking to girls at the club is a bit different than everywhere else. It involves lots of talk about nothing in particular. That’s because it would be rather silly and seem out of place if you suddenly pitched some deep and meaningful conversation topics in a loud and crazy environment.
Basically, avoid talking about very deep, heavy and serious subjects with girls at the club. Unless they broach these subjects themselves.
You’re there to show everyone a good time, not to discuss the intricacies of the stock market or how to study to become an accountant. If you talk about deep and serious stuff, it’ll often cause whiplash. Because you’ve approached in a very energetic and enthusiastic way in a loud environment . . . And you started talking about something people usually discuss in libraries.
So, remember the following when it comes to talking to girls in clubs -- casual, lighthearted, silly, witty and funny conversations are the keys to success.
Focus on small talk, telling amusing and funny stories, joking around, teasing girls when you’re talking to them, and, quite obviously, flirting. In fact, you really need to learn how to flirt the right way before approaching women in clubs. Because you can and should flirt right away, as opposed to most other places where you meet women.
Another extremely useful tip on how to chat up a girl in a club is that you can basically improvise the whole conversation on the spot. You don’t need any specific opener; just look at her and notice something about her that stands out, like her clothes or hair. Then talk about just that when you approach!
How to Dance with Girls at the Club
Most girls in the club enjoy dancing. It’s one of the main reasons they go there, in fact. That’s why it’s crucial you learn how to dance with girls at the club.
However, you don’t need to be all John Travolta up in that place. You also don’t need to take extensive dancing lessons to dance with women in clubs and have fun. Although you probably should as that would help a lot with seduction in general.
All you need to focus on to make girls interested in you on the dance floor is to dance like no one’s watching. Also, no matter how bad or great at dancing you are, you have to learn how to catch the beat and stay with it.
As long as you’re dancing in tune with the beat, you can basically keep stepping from side to side while doing some basic arm movements and you’re golden.
Truth is, it’s not about how awesome you are at dancing, it’s more about how comfortable you are with yourself and your body.
Women will see you moving to the beat without a care in the world. You're just having fun and they’ll be drawn to you. They’ll see you know how to club and are having fun just being there.
That said, I’ll still show you a special move right now just so you know how to dance with a girl at the club to instantly get her attention.
The move is bold yet simple. Dance up to a girl you like on the dancefloor and give her your right hand as if trying to shake hers. When she gives you her hand, spin her around counterclockwise and pull her in. Now you’re dancing very close, face to face. A bold move that often works wonders!
How to Get Girls in a Nightclub
If you have many options, your night will often end well.
Basically, go do everything we talked about above to every girl you find attractive in a club and you'll have a bunch of options for later. It's like approaching girls in college -- the more options you seem to have, the hotter you'll look. You'll also seem much more fun and social to others and women may even start competing for you. Interact with all women briefly and powerfully, so they associate you with a great time.
And then, after the club reaches its peak time and things start to wind down, go talk to all these women who remember you fondly. Try to take them somewhere more private for a personal conversation. Like a lounge, bar or couch on the outskirts where you can be far away from others.
After that, it's a matter of having some more fun, lots of touching, flirting, then making out and taking one of these women home. If you do everything correctly, you’ll hook up with many women from clubs.
Rejection is the name of the game
Finally, don’t be discouraged if you often face rejection in clubs. That’s just the name of the game and how things are in these places. Even the most spectacularly successful “players” still get rejected a lot. They know exactly how to get girls in clubs but also understand they have to persist through lots of rejection.
Guys who are great with women end up going home with someone because they try more than most. Not because the first girl they walk up to accepts their advances and wants to jump their bones right away.
Keep that in mind, continue approaching and not taking things to heart too much, and you’ll go very far!
And that's how you can get women at clubs pretty much every single night you go out. That's how I've done it all the time and I've rarely had evenings when I had to go home alone.
Now you know exactly how to approach a girl in a club and have things go your way most of the time. It's up to you to take charge and put things in motion.
For a lot of guys, clubs may seem too overwhelming at first. But when you apply all of the above and get some practice under your belt, things will start going great eventually.