A lot of men have trouble approaching women the right way. Anxiety, doubt, and fear start to set in and they suddenly don't know what to say when approaching a girl. This can lead to a lot of missed opportunities and endless frustration.
That's why I'll show you exactly how to approach a girl you fancy and also explain how women want to be approached in general. Because if you want to be successful in dating, you need to know how to initiate a great conversation in the first place.
You won’t be able to get anywhere if you don’t even know how to begin properly.
How to approach a girl the right way
First of all, I'd like to make one thing abundantly clear about how to approach a woman you like: There's no "perfect moment" or "best time" to approach.
If you keep looking for that perfect opportunity, you'll only end up psyching yourself out and not approaching at all. And then you'll feel really bad about it.
Instead, I'll let you in on a little secret . . . You don't wait for the perfect moment, you create it!
This means you can approach absolutely any woman at any time, provided she's not showing obvious signs she's busy, in a hurry, or unavailable. She might even be giving off signs she wants you to approach.
Yes, you can even approach women who are with their friends and who are talking to other men. Because when a woman's talking to another man, it doesn't necessarily mean she's taken or that they have any relationship going on whatsoever. You'd be surprised by how often that's not the case.
As long as they’re not in each other’s embraces or holding hands, it’s not a big deal.
Besides, you can easily find out the nature of their relationship during the course of your conversation. By saying “So how do you guys know each other anyway?”
Where you're approaching also has a huge impact on how to think about this. If you want to successfully approach a girl in a club you're going to have a different approach than if you're on a bus.
What to say when approaching
With that out of the way, do you know what to say when approaching a girl?
The answer is pretty simple: Whatever is on your mind in that moment!
This may sound weird at first but it's essential for success. It's also something most men fail to understand. Because men usually believe they have to think of something amazing or "perfect" to say when approaching a girl. But that couldn't be further from the truth.
Just like there's no perfect moment to approach, there's never a perfect thing to say. Whether you're approaching a woman at a club, trying to approach a girl at the gym or flirting with a girl in college, just make your move!
That's why I always discourage men from learning and relying on canned pickup lines. Because there's no perfect line for every occasion and each approach is unique. Since every woman you approach is a unique individual with her own likes, dislikes, desires, wants and needs. Which is why you should treat every approach as a new opportunity.
Plus, it’s mostly not about what you say, but how you say things. That’s why body language, tone, attitude, eye contact and similar things are significantly more important than some “line.”
Granted, if you're filled with anxiety and have trouble saying anything at all when you're talking to women, then a canned line may be helpful. Or if you’re a complete beginner and are just starting out on your journey of becoming a man who’s social and successful with women, a pre-built line can be good.
That said, a genuine, off-the-cuff remark will always trump any canned phrase nearly every single time. Because it’ll be genuine and you'll seem at ease with yourself when you say it. As opposed to saying things that aren’t congruent with who you are and your personality.
Besides, doing it this way will be much more lighthearted and fun, which is how women want to be approached in general.
An example of approaching women based on appearance
Since I want to teach you how to approach a woman you like the right way, I'll give you a couple of great examples.
Let's say you're going about your business in a bar and you notice an attractive woman walk by. She's caught your attention and you want to approach her. But how do you do that in a successful way?
Well, you take a good look at her and notice something you genuinely like about her.
It can be anything that catches your eye; her style, hair, clothes, figure, eyes or even her smile. It can even be how she carries herself, what purse or accessory she's wearing, or something you notice about her demeanor and personality. As long as you notice it and genuinely like that about her as a person.
Let's take something simple and say you noticed her hair and then thought to yourself "Wow, her hair looks awesome!"
What you do next is simply walk up to a girl at a bar and say exactly what you were thinking: "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice what an awesome haircut you have! It instantly caught my eye and I just wanted to tell you that. My name's Andy, by the way. What's yours?"
Do you see why something like that would work?
What you said in that situation was completely improvised on the spot, so there's no pressure on you or her.
There was no rehearsing this line. You didn't wait for the perfect moment to say it and you didn't try to figure out what the best thing to say was. You just told her what you thought about when you saw her.
If you say something like this in a normal, relaxed and friendly manner, it's incredibly endearing and disarming. It’s also a very authentic thing you do, which is always attractive. There's no clever line here and you're not trying to impress her; you simply tell her what you're thinking. And then you wait for her to reply.
Most of the time, this will open her right up and you'll be able to have a decent conversation with her. When she tells you her name, you can just continue talking to her about whatever you fancy.
At this point, engage her in some light and fun small talk. If things go well from there and she sticks around, then begin flirting and take things from there.
A great example about fashion accessories
Let's say you thought her shoes were unique. It's as simple as saying "Hello! I saw you walking by and your shoes instantly caught my eye. So I thought to myself I just HAD to meet someone who's got such great taste and I'd be very disappointed in myself if I didn't come over and say Hi! What’s your name?"
You see, if you do it this way, you’ll never have to wonder what to say when approaching a woman. Because you’ll always be able to improvise and rely on your genuine thoughts.
This also helps you rely on yourself and your personality more. Which is perfect since women want to see who you are and not who you pretend to be when approaching.
That's how women want to be approached most of the time anyway. Nothing fancy, nothing grandiose, no ulterior motives and no trying too hard to impress. This is the essence of how to approach a girl and start a decent conversation.
Just remember that you also have to get your body language, tone of voice, attitude and eye contact in order, or you may seem a bit creepy.
Most importantly, straighten your back and don’t slouch. Keep steady eye contact and don’t look away in a nervous fashion. Don’t let your voice crack and speak loudly and clearly. Once you get these things handled and rely on this technique of genuinely saying what you’re thinking, you’ll be unstoppable.
If you aren't a complete anxious mess and can say these things with genuine enthusiasm and a smile, you'll have a lot of successful approaches. Because they'll be completely unique to the woman you're approaching and to your situation. And women tend to really notice things like that.
You now have all the necessary knowledge on how to approach a woman you like.