It’s a known fact that many older women love to have sex with a younger man. They’re attracted to the innocence and friskiness of a guy in his 20s, and they like to be the more experienced partner, even in bed. Most cougars want to take the lead and teach an inexperienced lover how to drive them crazy with pleasure.
However, some young men make goofy mistakes that ruin their chances of seducing a cougar. Things like acting needy and unconfident are big turn-offs for an older woman!
So what can you do to make sure that your experience will end in pleasure instead of disappointment?
How to Make an Older Woman Want to have Sex with a Younger Man
If you have an older woman on your radar or you're out there meeting older women, don’t worry. Making her want to have sex with a younger man isn’t that difficult. But it does require a fair amount of emotional maturity, confidence and playfulness.
This guide explores 10 steps to seduce a cougar. Follow our advice, and you’ll have a hot mature lady in your bed in no time.
Display confident body language
No matter where you go to find older women who want younger men, the first step to seduce an older woman is displaying a confident body language. Think about the posture of famous alpha men from movies, like James Bond or Danny Ocean in Ocean’s Eleven. Do they hunch their backs or fidget with their hands while talking to women? Obviously, the answer is no.
If your posture is anything but similar to James Bond’s, a little practice goes a long way! The dating advisor Patrick Banks told Wingman that men should open up their chest and keep their legs slightly apart to appear more alpha. The arms should stay relaxed along the body.
The dating expert also suggests that you walk “slowly, taking balanced steps. Correcting your walk doesn’t take long, just a few days and it really impacts how other people perceive you.”
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Make her want to have sex with a younger man with the power of your eyes
Another crucial ingredient of seduction, one that always makes older women want to have sex with a younger man, is the right kind of eye contact. You should gaze into her eyes in a sensual and passionate way.
To achieve this goal, the dating expert Alek Rolstad recommends that you never avoid eye contact. “Avoiding eye contact shows that you are uncomfortable and that you suffer from low confidence,” says the expert. “Be a dominant man and show her that you are confident, that you do not fear looking at her deep in the eyes.”
Rolstad also suggests that you never look away first when locking eyes with the woman. This conveys a confident attitude. Lastly, he says that you should never look down when trying to seduce a lady—it makes you look needy and insecure.
Be playful in the bedroom
Let’s face it: Cougars love sex. After all, it’s the main reason why they’re looking for a passionate young lover rather than a boring family man their age.
The bread and butter of making older women want to have sex with a younger man is preventing boredom in the bedroom. Show her that you’re sexually adventurous by suggesting new positions and sex toys.
You don’t have to be intimidated by a woman’s vibrator, really. A new sex toy won’t replace you, but it will help you to keep things interesting in the bedroom. Also, why don’t you try some light bondage?
Feel free to download Kamasutra apps or browse through Cosmopolitan to find some inspiration. However, avoid resorting to online porn, since what you see on the screen mostly reflects male fantasies, not what women really want in bed.
Remember that older women who have sex with younger men want maximum discretion
Not all cougars want you to brag to your friends about their sexual prowess. In fact, many would be embarrassed if you did. Remember that relationships between an older woman and a younger man are still taboo in many communities!
Besides, bragging to everyone about sex makes you look immature, which is the last thing you want when trying to seduce an older woman.
Older women are usually very clear about the level of discretion they need, right from the start of the relationship. Respecting her need for privacy demonstrates that you’re a responsible adult who can handle a relationship with a mature lady.
Avoid criticizing her body
Women are bombarded by media with images of unattainable beauty. This makes their self-esteem drop as they grow older. A recent study conducted by Dove has shown that only 4% of women consider themselves beautiful.
When dating an older woman, don’t put the emphasis on her age. Avoid saying things like “you could be my mother,” because that is NOT how you turn a woman on with words.
No matter how charming or confident your older lover is, chances are that she doesn’t have the toned body you’re used to seeing in girls your age. And that’s perfectly fine! Avoid joking about her wrinkles or post-pregnancy belly. Even if she doesn’t seem to make a big deal out of it, she may feel insecure about her small flaws.
Don’t act as if you were older
One of the most common mistakes guys make when trying to bed a cougar is trying to act older than their age. Avoid doing this at all costs, as it makes you look super weird. Also, sooner or later you’ll be forced to stop acting and show her who you really are.
Honesty is one of the main ingredients of a healthy relationship, but also of great sex. If you’re afraid of telling her your age, how could you be able to open up about what you want in bed?
Remember that cougars want sex with a younger man because of their playfulness and spontaneity. If they didn’t, they would just date men their age.
Avoid being needy
Generally speaking, older women aren’t needy in their relationship, unlike many younger women. For this reason, they won’t be attracted to you if you act too clingy.
Even if the hot cougar of your dreams eventually becomes your girlfriend, there’s no reason to stop seeing people your age. Maintaining a social life outside the relationship is even more important for couples with a considerable age difference. You don’t want to spend all Sunday afternoons with her 40-something friends talking about cooking and crocheting, right?
Also, keep in mind that older women are typically very busy. Your current lover may not always be available for nights out or weekend getaways like your younger ex did. She likely has a demanding career and family responsibilities. So there’s no reason to get mad if she takes an hour to respond to your text.
If she has kids, remember that they will always be her priority
Speaking of family responsibilities, many cougars are single mothers. When you’re in your 20s, it may be difficult for you to deal with your girlfriend canceling dates at the last minute because her kid is sick. But a mother will always prioritize her children, no matter how much she loves you.
Additionally, you’ll likely have to deal with the fact that she still sees the father of her children. Most single moms have some sort of co-parenting deal with their exes. Avoid acting unnecessarily jealous or she’ll soon lose respect for you.
A common mistake young men do when dating a single mother is assuming that she wants (or needs) you to take on a father role. Instead, it’s a wise choice to avoid interfering with her parenting style. Don’t pressure her to let her kids meet you early in the relationship or spend time with you. Only she knows what is best for her family.
A woman wants sex with a younger man who is emotionally mature
With older women, the fact that she’s more experienced than you actually becomes a benefit (believe it or not). Some men think it to be a drawback and go overboard with being too assertive, bordering on aggression and arrogance. But, believe you me – she knows she has more experience and she’s still interested.
You’re good! Sex with a younger man is somewhat tantalizing for older women that way because, for the first time in their lives, there is a power flip and they are in the dominant role.
And that is a major turn-on. But you have to be emotionally mature to be able to handle it and let her lead the way and play your part to let things naturally spill over into the bedroom.
Have confidence and self-worth that is not affected by labels
Society has come a long way since the days when sex with a younger man was frowned upon. But this doesn’t mean you won’t get the occasional side glance when you’re out in public.
There’s no need to pretend you don’t notice the age difference. Don’t try to get her attention by saying things like “You would never have guessed she’s older than you.”
This only shows her the age gap is a problem for you. Instead, acknowledge it and move on. If it doesn’t bother you, be calm and confident about the choice in dating her.
Don’t justify it, don’t explain yourself to her or anyone else. This will give her the peace of mind that you know what you want in life and are not afraid to pursue it.