Every man who’s in a sexual relationship will benefit from learning how to spice things up in the bedroom.
That’s because no matter how good the sex is right now, if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, it’ll eventually get boring and tedious. This leads to less and less intimacy and eventually almost no sex at all.
The key to sexual happiness lies in variety and in discovering what your partner might enjoy. Who knows, you may even surprise yourself along the way and discover some pretty interesting new things you’ll also enjoy in the bedroom.
There are absolutely no downsides to learning all of this, and you’ll only cement your relationship further if you find new ways to sexually satisfy each other.
With that said, you do need to have at least one fairly consistent lover to be able to practice the following advice. One of the best places to find women who are interested in sexual encounters are online dating sites. That’s why I urge you to see all the best and biggest hookup sites and apps that we’ve reviewed so you can focus on the ones that actually deliver.
Here’s how to spice things up in the bedroom
To start things off, both you and your partner need to rediscover yourselves sexually.
Discovering your sexual desires and kinks in a new and more positive way must start with open communication.
You can’t just go experimenting willy-nilly without telling your partner what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. It may breach their trust and freak them out. It may even make them feel unwanted because they might think you don’t like them sexually anymore.
That’s why proper communication is essential when you’re both figuring out how to spice things up in the bedroom. To ease your partner’s mind, reassure them you still find them attractive and desirable. Explain that the reason you want to make things spicier is to enhance mutual enjoyment. Tell her you that you want to explore because you want to know how to get the best out of sex.
If you approach her honestly, she may be eager to discover this new world of sexual pleasure with you.
Once you talk with your partner openly about this, you can start discovering each other’s sexual desires as you both see fit.
To help you with that and to give you some ideas, here are tips you can try out.
Start with a sex challenge
I’ll start with a counter-intuitive but incredibly effective way to spice things up in bed -- with a sex challenge.
A sex challenge consists of talking to your partner and challenging yourselves to have sex every single day for 30, 60 or even 90 days, depending on how confident and virile you both feel.
This will really get the creative juices (and other types of juices) flowing. Because if you have the same kind of sex for all of those days, you’ll both become bored incredibly quickly.
So this challenge forces you to think outside the box. Because you’ve decided to undertake it, you pretty much have to have sex. And to make it fun, you have to find new things to try in bed.
This is a little known relationship hack, but it’s widely used by couple therapists. Reportedly, nearly all couples who’ve tried it have had nothing but positive outcomes.
There’s a famous event where the pastor Paul Wirth tested this sex challenge on his congregation. And in his book “The 30 Day Sex Challenge: A Journey to Intimacy,” he described the results.
Couples reported that it helped spice up their love lives. The women felt more desired, appreciated and loved. And the men felt more manly, like they’re on top of their game.
Introduce some toys into the mix
One of the easiest ways to spice things up during sex is to use various sex toys.
They come in all imaginable shapes and sizes to bring you immense pleasure. And once you find something you and your partner enjoy, you can get really creative with using them to stimulate all your erogenous zones.
In fact, there are so many different variations of sex toys. It would take years for an average couple to try them all. This is exactly why they can turn a boring lovemaking session into something really kinky and unforgettable. The only limit to your mutual pleasure is your imagination.
So, talk with your partner about which type of toy they think they’d enjoy, and then go do a little bit of shopping. Pick out something special you can use to enhance your lovemaking experience.
Check out vibrating toys that enhance her pleasure. Try some accessories that can help you last longer. Some toys are huge with tons of different uses, while others are so small and subtle that you can hide them away in your pocket. Each sex toy is different, so have fun experimenting with them!
Spice up your bedroom romps with accessories
While toys can quickly boost how much pleasure you get from sex, accessories are on a whole ‘nother level.
These accessories can kick things up several notches and turn a regular lovemaking session into something extremely kinky. Think “50 Shades of Grey” naughty and kinky.
Unlike sex toys, accessories enhance the sexual experience without directly stimulating you. These sex accessories are like props you can use for creating a different sexual atmosphere. Examples include handcuffs, blindfolds, floggers, paddles, sex swings, sex furniture, sexy costumes and so much more.
So if you’re up for exploring a world of pleasure with various accessories, you’ll surely find something that suits your fancy. Remember, it’s never too late to attempt some light bondage or a bit of roleplaying.
Another great approach for how to spice things up in the bedroom would be to dress up in provocative clothing.
There are few things more visually appealing than a sexy woman in amazing lingerie that accentuates all her best features. Men also look amazing in the right pair of boxers or briefs. In fact, dressing up in various sexy clothing is really important if you ever want to spice things up with roleplay.
Roleplay is one of the best ways to keep sex fresh and unique
Sexual roleplay is one of the best ways to spice up your love life, especially for couples who have been together for a long time. The mental stimulation from roleplaying can ignite your naughty imagination.
One of the keys to great sex is to satisfy your partner both mentally and physically. And using roleplay in the bedroom takes care of the mental part very nicely.
This is particularly powerful for women. Because unlike the majority of men, women require more mental stimulation to make sex feel awesome. In contrast, most men can just see a hot body and be ready to go.
There are so many kinky and creative roleplay scenarios you can choose from. You can play as a teacher and a naughty student, a horny patient and a sexy nurse or a pair of strangers hooking up for the first time. The possibilities are literally endless when you use your imagination.
And if you and your partner prefer to try something even more extreme, pick out a safeword and go to town with living out a kinky fantasy! Dominant and submissive scenarios are quite a popular roleplay choice. A subcategory of this would be the rape fantasy roleplay.
And before you think that’s way too weird, you should know that an analysis of 20 recent sex studies reveal that anywhere from 31% to 57% of women have had a rape fantasy. It’s actually not that weird!
This brings me to my next point.
How to spice things up in the bedroom by being more dominant
While not all women prefer a dominant partner, especially outside of the bedroom, a lot of women report that they want their men to be just a little more assertive and even dominant in bed.
A lot of women complain about their partner being too timid or too gentle in bed. That’s why being bolder during sex is one of the surest ways to spice things up.
So, don’t be afraid to spank her, grab her and pull on her hair once in a while. Push her against the wall, pin her against the bed, and ravish her. Show your physical strength and dominate her in the bedroom.
Start off slowly and don’t be too rough too soon. Then, if you see her responding positively, gradually increase the intensity. Keep going as long as you’re both still enjoying it. But just to be on the safe side, have a safeword handy.
A little roughness can be that added spice to a sex life that lacks excitement.
Take it outside of the bedroom
Another great tip to freshen things up is to have sex where you normally wouldn’t.
Do it top of the kitchen table, the sofa, and the stairs. Make love against the washing machine and in your office chair. If you have a garage, go ham and make love on top of the car. The shower and bathtub are fun places to have sex, as long as you have a non-slip mat to keep you both steady.
You can even take it outside of your home by checking into a seedy love motel. And if you’re feeling extra adventurous, you can have sex on the beach or on a quiet camping spot.
Changing up the scenery can really reignite that sexual spark.
Surprise each other during the night
Another great way of how to spice things up in the bedroom is to surprise your partner during the night by waking her up with sensual oral sex.
Just make sure you both have nowhere to be in the morning because this often leads to a drawn-out session that can take hours.
Trust me, there are few things more pleasurable and amazing than waking up to some really good oral sex, especially when your partner wakes you up with the act itself.
So next time you know she doesn’t need to wake up early, try it and see for yourself. You’ll quickly hear her moan and writhe with pleasure. And she’ll really appreciate this gesture if you do it right.
After you’re done, you can hint that you want something similar done to you, someday.
I just hope you don’t have a knee-jerk reaction and literally knee her in the face when she surprises you with this in the middle of the night!
These are just a few tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom with your lover. They’re fairly quick and easy ways to make sex fresh, different and interesting.
Once you have talked to your partner about wanting to add a little more zing to your sex life, you can start adding a few new things to spice things up!