Good news, fellas. You’re not living in the stone age anymore. Girls don’t sit around twiddling their thumbs, waiting for their Prince Charming to ask them out. If you’re lucky, you’ll meet a girl who’s bold enough to go after what she wants, but most girls love a chase.
How To Get A Girl To Ask You Out Easily
This is especially true for older women. They crave challenge and attention. A little teasing here, a bit of taunting there. It's different from asking her out right then. With the right moves, you can get a girl to ask you out without realizing you had any control over the situation. You don’t have to manipulate her or become some fancy pick-up artist. All you have to do is pay attention and be your best self. Here are five of our favorite ways of how get a girl to ask you out.
1) Drop Hints
Dropping hints about going on a date is a useful skill any guy can learn. It's the opposite of blurting out that you're into her.
Listen for cues and slip in suggestions. Make it look like it was her idea. When you’re chatting with a girl, you’re going to cover topics that lead to opportunity.
Here are the best times for you to drop your hints:
- You learn something about her that you share in common. Pay attention to indications of her preferences. Things she likes to do, places she frequents and food she loves to eat. These are windows of opportunity for you to drop a hint into the conversation.
For decades, research has been saying people prefer to date others who are like them. Birds of a feather and all that jazz. All it takes is one piece of information from someone, and your brain tends to blow it out of proportion.
So if she says she likes to go wine tasting, grab that opportunity and say, “me too! I love wine. I’m a sucker for a good Merlot.” What she’s going to hear is, “I’m a sophisticated gent who loves long walks on the beach and romantic comedies.” You might say, “I’ve heard there’s a great new winery south of town but haven’t had the chance to check it out.” Hint hint -- nudge nudge. And if you want to impress her even more, brush up on the wine-tasting basics.
You’re handing it to her on a silver platter lined with roses . . . “We should go sometime.” Just like that, she’s come up with the best idea all evening. And that’s how to get a girl to ask you out.
- She mentions something you want to know more about. If she’s talking about something she enjoys, it’s a great time for you to drop hints of inquiry. “You’re a painter? That’s great! I’ve always wanted to learn but have no artistic talent. I guess I need the right teacher.”
These are two suggestions, but you can drop hints at any point in the conversation. You can even leave a hint unprompted. If there’s a pause in the dialogue, you can say, “I’ve heard the happy hour at that new Italian restaurant is amazing.”
In fact, being suggestive doesn’t even demand words. If you’re savvy with non-verbal body language, you can use facial movements like a raised eyebrow. But those moves should be applied with caution and usually with someone you’ve already met.
2) Ask Questions
Girls love talking about themselves. They want to date a guy who’s interested in them, so ask questions and ask them early.
For example, you want to ask a waitress out. Ask her if she's been working there for long. Ask her questions about her hobbies or where she's from. You can even ask for her number jokingly to show her that you're a little into her.
By making the conversation about her, you’re accomplishing several things.
- Deflecting the conversation, maintaining your alluring sense of mystery.
- Keeping the focus on her, showing interest.
- Learning about her, gaining useful insights.
- Giving her the impression that she has the upper hand by dominating the discourse.
But learning how to get a girl to ask you out is not as simple as just asking questions. You have to ask the right questions. Asking about her favorite color will only get you so far. You need useful information. Ask her about herself, and her life. What makes her tick? What do her friends think of her? What are her hobbies? What is she passionate about? When you steer towards another question, think about how you can leverage the answer to get her to ask you out.
3) Leave Her Wanting More
After spending time with a girl, the last thing you want to do text her if she likes you and start texting kissy emojis. That’s sweet, but it’s not how to get a girl to ask you out. You need to display a nonchalant attitude; one that reeks of confidence and mystery.
Here are some ways you can leave her wanting more:
- Give her half-answers. Answer the question, but drop-off to let her know there’s more to the story you aren’t ready to share. If she asks you to tell her more, say, “when we know each other better” or “I’ll tell you the rest when you take me out.”
- Touch her, but be subtle. A soft stroke of the arm, or your hand on her lower back. Don’t linger too long. Just enough to show interest, then poof.
- Borrow the scarcity mentality from economics. By implying you’re a scarce resource that’s in-demand, she’ll want you more. Imply you’re important and valuable. When she does ask you out, no matter what day it is, say you’re busy and suggest another day.
Regardless of which method you use, the goal is to entice her cravings. Your strategy should leave her curious enough that she wants to spend time with you or give you her number to learn more about you.
4) Challenge Her
- Girls want a challenge. They want to know you can hold your own and be their equal. It's the 21st century; girls aren’t hanging five steps behind their men anymore.
- You can motivate her to chase you by doing these things:
- Be evasive. Don’t offer too much information without being prompted or asked. Maybe you’re seeing other people - maybe you aren’t. Maybe you want to go out with her - maybe you don’t. She’ll have to ask to find out.
- Don’t linger. When you spend time with her, send the message that you’re a busy guy. You have things to do and people to see. Stand with confidence, kiss her on the cheek, and bid her adieu. Don’t draw it out or tell her when you’ll call. And don't abruptly ask her if she wants to come over. Leave her wondering.
- Tease her. Teasing is a potent flirting tool. Scientists have shown girls use teasing to make guys want them more and to feel more attractive. If you can get a healthy exchange of teasing going with her, she’ll be into you in no time.
5) Make Her Happy
The goal is to leave a good first impression. It only takes a girl three minutes to decide whether she likes you or not. And when she makes that decision, she’s likely to stick to her guns. So make sure you show her a good time the first time you meet her.
Here are a few things you can do to make a good first impression:
- Smile. Science has shown that smiling makes people trust you more. Trust is one of the fastest ways to a girl’s good side. If she trusts you, she’s going to assume other positive things about you (like confidence, empathy, and intelligence). It’s amazing how far a smile can go.
- Make her laugh. Laughter makes a girl like you more. It’s one of the fastest and most reliable ways to show her a great time and give the impression that you’re a stand-up guy.
- Relax. By unwinding and being yourself, you do two things. You exude confidence, which you already know girls love. And you invite her to relax with you, encouraging her to have a better time. If you’re rigid and sweating like a Hungarian bodybuilder, you’re going to give off a few awkward signals. Chill out and be cool. She’ll mirror your attitude and open up more.
Most importantly, read her. Watch her body language, listen to what she’s saying, and keep an eye out for warning signs. If she looks disinterested or detached, reel her back in with a few engaging questions or a joke. If she’s giving you bedroom eyes, hold back and tease her. By watching her, you’re showing interest and keeping a close eye on your emotional investment.
Next time someone wants you to pay them thousands of dollars for a course on how to get inside a girl’s mind, take pause. Learning how to get a girl to ask you out is more natural than you think. Once you try the suggestions outlined here, you’ll see they work hand-in-hand. Once you’ve got this part down, you can tackle the real feminine enigma: shoes.