Some guys are jerks. Some guys are creeps. But you, you’re neither.
So why do you wanna learn how to ask a girl to come over without looking like a creep? Because asking a girl to come over is an art. In other words, you’ve gotta be smooth. This is something a lot of guys — even the best looking ones — struggle with.
Although some girls give out the impression that they just want sex, most want to be seen as more than just another notch on your bedpost. So you’ve gotta be careful with how you do this and it ain’t easy. Unfortunately, the line between being a creep and a normal, cool guy suddenly gets insanely blurred when it comes to asking her to come to our place. We fall apart!
Understandable. After all, you want to get her into bed and explore her body. Moreover, you’re probably nervous as hell. I get it, it’s not easy, no matter how cool you usually are around women. But look, there’s something you want — you want her to come over. So all you’ve gotta do is direct your focus on that goal and pay attention to my tips.
Let’s take a look at how to ask a girl to come over without running the risk of her shaming you on Facebook.
How to ask a girl to come over? Be funny.
I love the scene in "Groundhog Day" where Bill Murray is trying to convince Andie MacDowell to go up to his hotel room. She says that she doesn’t usually put out on a first date and he says neither does he.
“That’s why I’m gonna show you this one thing and kick you right out.”
She laughs at his charming humor.
If you use humor — especially a little self-deprecating humor — she will loosen her guard.
Humor is the key to softening her up, building a bond with her, easing her anxieties and showing her that you’re not a creep. If you want to know how to ask a girl to come over without being weird, this is level-101 stuff.
I like humor because it just works, plain and simple. Here is a line I used once on a girl — I actually didn’t think it would work but it got her laughing and made her putty in my hands:
“I swear my house is haunted at the moment. Seriously, I got groped in the shower last night! Care to come over for just a few minutes just to show the ghost I’m already taken?”
She loved it! I’ve used it since, too.
While a killer one-liner might not be the one thing that convinces her to come over, it sure as heck slides her up the scale from being unsure to being almost sure about this.
The date has been going so well. You’ve clearly both been enjoying it, but it’s now over. The restaurant is closing, the bar is closed, the end credits at the cinema are rolling.
Rats. It’s time to go home and guess what? You’re busy for the next two weeks and aren’t sure when you’ll be able to see her again.
But, oh, you’ve got some cake waiting in the fridge if she wants to share it before you guys depart? Or wait, what about that TV show she told you she loved earlier? You’ve got it on DVD! Why doesn’t she come over and watch it with you for a bit?
If you’re tactful about keeping the date going, she’ll respond in kind.
How to ask a girl to come over doesn’t have to be as bland as giving her two options — go home or come back to mine. It could be as interesting as offering her three options.
I like to use the rule of threes a lot. This is when you present with her two serious options and a third humorous one. For example:
“So, the date is coming to an end. I guess we could end it here and say our farewells, go back to mine for some movies and cake, or go see my mom and her five cats that I’m pretty sure want to kill me. What do you think?”
She’ll giggle for sure and she might be keen to watch you fight five cats that want to rip you alive! When she pulls herself together, she’ll probably admit that she’d prefer to come over to yours.
In human psychology, there’s this thing called the contrast principle — where a second option that is presented immediately after a first option can be perceived differently than it really is if the first option was so different to it.
For example, let’s say you’re presented with a photo of an ugly person. Then, you’re presented with a photo of a less ugly person. This second person isn’t all that attractive either, but because they immediately followed a photo of a really ugly person, you’ll see them more favorably than they really are.
Marketers exploit the contrast principle all the time and when it comes to knowing how to ask a girl to come over without being creepy, you need to exploit it too.
For example, tell her that you could both go your separate ways to your cold, solitary rooms and text each other good night. Or, you could both go back to your place together for some more chats, some shared food and shared laughs.
The contrast principle will work heavily in your favor here. And if you do it right, this principle will go undetected (and even if she does know what you’re doing, she’ll still be suitably charmed).
These are my tips on how to ask a girl to come over without being a total creep. Remember to be funny, be charming and be yourself.