When you see her, your heart starts to pound. Your palms get sweaty and your mouth goes dry. If there’s a woman in your life who has this effect on you, congratulations, you have a crush. Now the question is how to tell someone you like them.
Now, what to do about it?
Telling a crush you like her doesn’t have to be nerve-wracking. It can lead to a successful date if you do it right. If the mere thought of confessing your feelings to your crush has you breaking out in hives, not to worry.
We can help you tell your crush you like them in a way that won’t make you look or feel foolish. So, read on for our best tips on how to reveal your feelings to the person you’re into.
How to Tell Someone You Like Them with Actions
Have you ever heard the old saying, “a picture is worth a thousand words?” Well, so is a meaningful gesture or phrase. If you’re acquainted with your crush, there are dozens of ways you can make your feelings clear without coming right out and saying so.
1. Easy cues
Looking at your crush and smiling shows interest. Now, obviously, doing it too often is creepy. But if you do it periodically, your crush will notice your heightened interest.
Laughing at her jokes is also a good way of showing you’re interested in her. It’s a subtle way of telling her you enjoy her company and appreciate her sense of humor.
Using her name, meanwhile, shows courtesy and respect. It’s also more engaging than a simple “hi.” If you’re greeting your crush, saying “Hi, Rebecca. How are you?” is so much more effective at making her feel cared for than a “hey, how’s it going?”
And, when you do run into each other, don’t try to hide that you’re pleased to see her. Give her a real and genuine smile that lets her know that seeing her brightens up your day.
When you’re leaving a shared space, always say goodbye. Taking the time to do this shows both courtesy or interest when done right. Rather than a casual “see ya” say, “Goodbye, Rebecca. It was nice seeing you.”
2. Bolder cues
Now that you’ve got your crush’s attention, there are a few ways to really up your game.
Whether you’re co-workers, volunteering together or spending time together in a casual way, try to learn what her drink preferences are. Then surprise her with a cup of tea or coffee from her favorite spot. This shows thoughtfulness and generosity. Two traits most ladies admire.
Another way to show you care is by making a conscious effort to remember things you’ve talked about. If, for instance, she said she was going to a concert or play, ask her if she enjoyed it. When you show interest in her life, she’ll be flattered, even if it’s subconscious.
Being near her is also a good way to up the ante and can also help you determine if the attraction might be mutual. Sit beside her or close to her when you can. If the opportunity arises, touch her in a casual way. You can touch her shoulder to get her attention or touch her elbow if you’re opening a door for her.
Touching her hand during shared laughter or in commiseration works well too. The key is not to leave your hand on hers long enough to make it awkward. A second or two is enough.
Preparing to Tell Someone You Like Them
There is no one right way to tell a woman you like her. Depending on the woman and the situation, there are a number of effective ways to tell her you like her. Let’s take a look at some of the best ways to own up to your feelings that won’t leave you looking like a dork.
1. Choose the right moment
Even if you’re ready to reveal how you feel to the object of your affection, just blurting it out is never a good idea. That’s especially true if there are other factors to consider like being co-workers or already being friends.
So choose your moment carefully. Pick a time when there aren’t other distractions and you don’t have to worry about being interrupted.
2. Don’t be dramatic
You’re likely nervous about revealing your true feelings. But keep the drama to a minimum. If you make it into a big deal, that can make things very awkward, especially if your feelings catch your crush off-guard.
The key to remember is that, no matter what her response, life will go on with or without her. You’ll be just fine either way.
How to Tell Her You Like Her
Now the question arises: what exactly should you do when you’re finally ready to express how you feel?
1. Telling her in person
This is almost always the way to go when revealing your feelings. It conveys confidence and maturity. You’ll also see your crush’s reaction, and that can really help you know where you stand.
If she’s pleased, you’ll know it’s safe to move a little faster. You can send her sweet messages or even hold her hand and see where things lead. But if she’s surprised but not exactly turned off, you can take things a little slower.
Now if she’s freaked out and even embarrassed, you can smile and take it gracefully. She might not be into you and that’s okay. It’s better to nip your feelings in the bud before things go further.
2. Tell someone you like them over text
Telling someone you like them through text is generally not a good idea. But if you’re extremely shy or nervous, texting may be the better option for you. The advantage of texting someone you like them is that you don’t have to worry about how you’ll look or sound. It also doesn’t put your crush on the spot.
If your feelings are indeed a surprise to her, a text gives her the chance to think before giving you her response. This can work in your favor because the chances of her saying yes — assuming she also likes you — increase when she has a chance to mull it over.
On the downside, texting means you’ll likely be waiting much longer for an answer.
What to Say When You Tell Someone You Like Them
The moment of truth! Here are a few tips for finally telling your crush that you’re into her:
1. Rehearsing is a good idea
If you want to make sure you don’t blurt out something embarrassing when revealing your feelings, it’s a good idea to prepare ahead of time.
We don’t mean you have to stand in front of the mirror and give a speech. Simply think over what you want to say. This is a great way to avoid being awkward around women in general. That way you’re not tongue-tied or stammering when the moment comes.
You can come up with a super sweet way to ask a woman out if you think she's into that. A little effort goes a long way as long as it's not over the top.
2. Keep it casual
This is not the time to declare your love for her or even to say “I really like you.” Both can be pretty awkward, especially if she hasn’t thought of you that way before.
Instead, simply ask her out. A relaxed invitation to dinner will be much better received than a promise of your undying devotion. Just make sure she knows you’re not asking her to hang out with you. She needs to know it’s an actual date.
If you’re already friends, say something like, “I’d like to take you out for dinner, as more than friends. What do you think?”
This lets her know exactly what you want but gives her a chance to accept or let you down gently without it becoming a big deal.
If you don’t know your crush very well yet, tell her how you feel in a low-key way. “I’d really like to get to know you better. How about dinner on Saturday?”
This lets her know you’re interested without putting a lot of pressure on her.
The one exception to the rule is with co-workers, especially if you work in a formal environment. If this is the case, it’s best to tread cautiously to prevent an HR nightmare from occurring.
Asking her to have lunch with you at a nearby cafe or to grab coffee or tea after work is the best bet. If she likes you, either of those suggestions is easy to say yes to. If she’s not into you, she still won’t feel like you’ve been inappropriate because co-workers often lunch together or share coffee breaks.
3. Time your approach
Is there a right time to ask a woman out to avoid rejection? Yes and no.
On the one hand, a woman will reject you if she's not into you, no matter when you ask her out. On the other hand, knowing when to ask her out set the odds in your favor.
So if you're wondering how long you should wait to ask a woman out, put yourself in her shoes. Does she have a good relationship with you? Can you talk to her like a friend? Or do you at least know her well enough to know where she'd like to go on a date with you? If the answer is yes to any of those, then go ahead and ask her out.
However, if you're barely acquaintances, build up some rapport first. Maybe ask for her number and see if she's at least a little interested in you first. Then work on being a little closer before you ask her out.
Preparing for the Reaction When You Ask Her Out
When you ask a woman out on a date, things can go one of two ways. These are general reactions that apply whether you're asking an older woman out, asking a friend out or asking someone you just met at the bar. Here's what to expect:
1. What to do if she says yes
If your crush accepts your invitation, make sure you lock it down right away. If you leave your plans up in the air, there’s a good chance your date will never happen. Agree on a specific day and time. Also make sure you get her number so you can stay in touch.
2. What to do if she says no
If she rejects you, accept it with good grace. How you react shows what kind of person you are and, if you take her rejection well. She may even rethink her decision down the line (just don’t keep your hopes up). If you act like a jerk, that will never happen.
When you decide to tell someone you like them, it can feel like you’re at a huge turning point in your life. However, if you find the right setting to do it, things may turn out well for you.