With online dating becoming so popular, knowing how to tell a girl you like her over text is an important skill.
When you’re meeting women via dating apps and websites, so much of your communication will be through text. From the initial conversation to setting up your date and even between dates. If you’re not all that comfortable communicating via text, this article is a must-read for you.
Even if you’re okay at it, this is still a skill worth developing further. Being able to communicate effectively just might be the difference between getting that next date and not.
Let’s take a look at my top tips to get you started.
If you’re really into someone, you might notice feelings developing very quickly. You may even be tempted to communicate these feelings with her.
While I’m a huge advocate of open communication, slow your roll in the initial weeks. Compliments are fine but an “I think I’m falling for you” text two dates in? Absolutely not.
Keep your conversation laid back and relaxed. It’ll help the two of you get to know each other and you’ll avoid looking like a stage 5 clinger.
Following on from that point, you don’t want to be the overtexter. Make sure your conversation seems somewhat balanced the whole time.
If you’re getting one-line replies, responding with eight paragraphs is a bad idea. Likewise, if you haven’t received a response to your last couple of messages, cool your jets and give her some time.
My personal rule is to never send more than two unanswered messages. Not getting a reply to one message is no big deal. By the second one though, it’s more likely it’s intentional and you don’t want her to feel smothered.
Unfortunately, sometimes you just need to let a conversation fade and move on. That said, maybe she’s just busy or her battery died—be patient and let things play out! There are plenty of reasons why a girl doesn't text back immediately!
You can text her at any time of day. But if you’re looking to have a conversation, pay attention to the time.
If you know she’s a shift worker and doesn’t wake up until 10am, don’t go sending that heavy message at nine.
For most women, around 8:00 p.m .is going to be the best time. She’s probably done with everything important for the day and has time for a few texts.
As I mentioned above, compliments are a great way to tell a girl you like her. Just be sure you don’t go overboard with them.
Telling her you like something she did or said is great. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met,” though. . . not so much.
In general, being a positive person and pointing out things you appreciate is an excellent trait. It’s a big part of building charisma, which goes a long way in the dating world.
Just make sure your compliments are sincere. If you force a compliment twice every day it’s going to come across as being insincere. That insincerity will undermine everything else you’re doing here.
Knowing how to tell a girl you like her over text doesn’t limit you to just texting. In fact, with dating in general, your text messages should only be a means to arrange time together. You can always try these tips for how to ask a girl out.
By inviting her to go somewhere with you, you’re telling her you enjoy her company. If it’s just the two of you (recommended), that’s an even stronger hint—you want to be around her and you’re letting her know quite clearly.
You don’t need to agonize over the wording of your message here or search for the “perfect” location (there’s no such thing). Instead, just keep it very casual for now. The more time and effort you put into planning something, the higher your expectations will be.
In the volatile world of dating, expectations can be your worst enemy.
Once you’ve been out a couple of times, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being upfront. People tend to over-complicate this topic and it’s really not that hard.
By no means should this be prior to a first date, only once you’re a little more comfortable with each other.
You do need to keep it casual but a simple “I’ve had fun with you the last couple of weeks. You and I should [insert plan here] on Saturday night”. Her response can let you know if she likes you even if the conversation is only through text.
That’s all it takes. Literally telling her you enjoy being around her. It’s not that scary, right?
Speaking of expectations, the word “date” tends to carry a lot of weight. It seems to build what would otherwise be a fun night into a sea of expectations and stress.
When you invite her out, do not say it’s a date. Right now, you’re working on how to tell a girl you like her over text—don’t blow it by giving things a label!
Aside from that, you should also know how long to wait before asking her out on a date.
This probably sounds like the opposite of my previous point, so let me explain. Just because you’re avoiding the label of this being a date doesn’t mean you have to friendzone yourself.
Take away any gray area and confusion by letting her know that it’s just the two of you. That you want to get to know her better and you think it’d be fun.
If you met her through a dating app or website, this is already implied, which makes things easy. If you met her out in the wild though, a bit of clarity can avoid any potential awkwardness later.
It can be as simple as starting out your invite with “. . . you and I should. . .”. As in, “You and I should head downtown check out that new bar on 12th.”
It’s subtle but lets her know that it’s just the two of you. No labels, no awkward “I think you’re really great” style compliments, just a bit of clarity.
This is such an underrated topic that you need to pay attention to. Particularly if she’s well-educated. It’s texting, so the occasional mistake happens to everyone. On the other hand, if you don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”, you’re doing yourself a disservice.
At the very least, use something like the Grammarly keyboard on your phone. It’ll keep an eye on your spelling and grammar and even suggest better phrasing if your English is questionable.
It’s free (and not affiliated with us) and helps you to put your best foot forward. As someone who writes for a living, I can tell you that seeing a string of errors is not a positive trait. Not a deal-breaker, but it does make me cringe a little every time.
If you’ve spent any amount of time in the “pickup artist” community, this point is particularly important for you.
You can pretend to be the alpha dog and beat your chest another time. That kind of garbage has no place in how to tell a girl you like her over text.
So much of the advice I see online for this topic is about exactly this. Playing the part of some over-confident “alpha male” that she’d be “lucky” to go on a date with.
Now admittedly, there is some truth to this overall concept. Confidence is important and you’re not trying to be her innocuous BFF. That doesn’t mean you have to follow the PUA advice of texting her with “you, me, dinner at 8 Sunday.”
Stay classy, be true to yourself and just make sure you don’t go the other way and try to be her Prince Charming. Act like you do around your friends and see where things go from there.
One of the biggest red flags you can possibly give her in terms of dating is clinginess. The need to be around her constantly, as though you have no other social life going on.
This is a common mistake and for good reason. You’re into her and want to spend time with her but you need to play it cool for a while.
If you invite her out somewhere and she’s busy, that’s fine. Don’t go texting her with a new invite every day for the next week. You might be trying to show her that you’re eager. But the truth is she’s just going to start feeling smothered.
Instead, live your life as normal. Hang out with other friends, make other plans and the next time something comes up and you’re free, invite her out.
She’ll enjoy the freedom of it all and you’ll come out looking better because you have friends and a social life!
That covers everything you need to know about how to tell a girl you like her over text.
It’s so easy to overthink this topic and stress yourself out. In reality, as long as you’re not trying to play Prince Charming or an “alpha male,” everything will work out just fine.
Enjoy getting to know her, build some rapport and tell her you enjoy her company. From there, everything else should just happen naturally.
It’s only as complicated as you make it!