We’re about to discuss exactly how to get a girl to like you over text.
Texting has become a go-to method of communication in the modern-day.
As such, it’s in your best interest to learn how to do it effectively when it comes to dating.
Dating women, of all ages, practically requires texting on a regular basis, whether you like it or not.
Learn how to build and maintain attraction with a woman over text, because it’s an invaluable skill that will increase your dating possibilities.
When you’ve been given a woman’s phone number, you can consider it a positive lead.
Besides rare exceptions, a woman will be at least slightly interested in you if they give you their number.
This is the case for texting over the phone as well as online (you can see our favorite sites for meeting older women here).
Knowing that you’ve made some impression on her should be enough to get you started.
How to Get a Girl to Like You Over Text
From this point onwards, it’s up to you to further any existing attraction, so that you may see her again, or meet her for the first time if we’re talking about online dating.
Moreover, regardless if you see signs that a girl likes you or not, let us help you generate attraction over text with the women you meet in 10 simple steps.
1 – Show her your value to increase attraction
Without a doubt, to attract a woman you have to be able to show her your worth in some way.
For instance, if she hears something interesting about you, or sees you in a certain light, she may find herself attracted to you from a distance.
You can’t count on passive attraction however; you’ll always have some work to do.
But it’s nice to know that your pictures on your dating profile can make a positive difference, so make sure that they’re the best they can be: invest in professional pictures.
Bragging to her how you hit the gym frequently or that you like to dine at fancy restaurants is not the way to go.
Rather, tell her how you’re into some extreme sport or exciting hobby and how you appreciate a certain type of cuisine.
Subtly text your crush interesting things about you and you’ll be increasing your value in her eyes.
In addition, always assume that she’s already attracted to you.
You shouldn’t ever feel like you should be trying to win her over – this mindset could destroy your plans with any woman.
When you believe that she’s already into you, all you have to do is move the interaction forward in a way that’s mutually comfortable.
2 – A Little Teasing Goes a Long Way
No discussion of how to tell a girl you like her over text would be complete without a point about teasing.
Teasing is inarguably one of the best techniques you could use to generate initial attraction with a woman.
Women simply love to have their buttons pushed in a friendly way – and teasing is a sure strategy to do it.
Make a witty remark.
Be overly sarcastic at times.
Call her out on her “immaturity.”
Tell her you feel she’d be a bad influence on you – and be vague with your reasoning.
Women know when they’re being teased, and oftentimes you'll see signs that she's flirting through text.
Make the conversation fun and you’ll find that her responses grow in length as her response times decrease.
3 – Show her you’re interested…but not too much
Many guys get caught up on the idea that you shouldn’t show a woman that you’re interested in her; whereas others wholeheartedly believe you should be upfront and not beat around the bush.
There’s a balance, and it will do you well to find it to improve your results.
Ideally, you won’t blatantly show her you’re interested, but you also won’t hide it either.
The best way to handle this is to be upfront that you find her intriguing.
It shouldn’t feel as if the interest is completely one-sided, or that you’re attempting to win her over with your texting techniques.
A big part of generating attraction over text is being unpredictable; so don’t tell her you like her directly.
Avoid complimenting her looks right away because that’s what the common guy does.
At some point in your conversation, you could say: “You seem interesting, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to meet you. Are you free later this week?”
This technique of asking her out uses an incredibly effective push and pull technique which we’ll describe shortly.
4 – Keep her guessing and wondering
As we just alluded to, an important factor in generating attraction with women over text is having an element of unpredictability.
Women love a man with an edge, one who never ceases to surprise and is able to keep them guessing.
They may love unpredictable men so much because the ordinary predictable guy is just too boring and lacks an authentic personality.
Or perhaps, there is no rational explanation, and it’s just one of those facts we have to understand and accept.
You should keep a woman guessing, not only with what you say to her over text, but also how you say it.
Don’t immediately reply to her messages in a split second.
Vary your response times – 5 minutes; 18 minutes; 47 minutes or an hour and a half.
It may seem trivial to be so specific but the point is that your texting behavior should be somewhat erratic.
In regards to what you say, simply avoiding the common mistakes guys often make is enough to avoid being predictable.
In fact, you shouldn’t be asking her many questions at all – most of your texting should revolve around playful banter because the emotional undertones are much more effective than the logical ones.
5 – Talk about what excites her
On that note, it’s important to focus your conversation on the topics that she finds exciting.
Which subject gives women more material to work with – travel and adventure, or chess and Sudoku?
Of course these are polar opposites, and there are women that are highly interested in the latter.
But most of the time you’re going to find that there are a few topics that excite her more than others, and it’s your job to find them.
Travel, adventure, beaches, cuisine, wine, partying, music, social media, and the Summer and Fall seasons are some topics you can essentially rely on to strike an emotional chord.
Talk about what excites her, and you’ll be more likely to generate further attraction. These are all good topics to text a girl you like.
In contrast, dry or gloomy topics are to be completely avoided - and yes, this includes politics.
6 – Gauge how high her interest is in you
This point ties in to point #3, where you shouldn’t show her you’re overly interested, but you shouldn’t hide it either.
Essentially, you must gauge her interest level and you should attempt to match it.
It shouldn’t seem like your interest is much higher than hers.
Otherwise, you’re going to struggle to make her interested.
If it seems like she’s cold towards you, frankly there’s little you can do in terms of texting to salvage the situation.
But if her interest is at least lukewarm, there’s plenty you can do.
Apply the techniques we mention here and ensure that her interest in you grows.
But keep in mind that it shouldn’t seem overbearing in any way; you shouldn’t be texting her much more than she texts you.
Gauge her interest level, and match it for the best results.
7 – Qualify her as a priority in your life
When learning how to get a girl to like you over text, qualifying a woman is one of the most potent techniques you could use to incite attraction. And it's a good way to make her feel special.
When you qualify a woman, what you are essentially communicating to her is the following:
- Is there more to you than meets the eye?
- Why should I be interested in you, besides your looks?
- Do you have the sort of vibe that is congruent with my personality?
- Would I be able to get along with you?
- I wonder about you; chemistry is very important to me.
- How will you fit in with my friends and family?
Sometimes, you can even say some of the above directly in an attempt to qualify her.
In addition, you know you’re doing well with a woman when she tries to qualify herself without your attempt.
When a woman tells you she’s sweet, nice, caring, fun, or full of energy…it could be a subtle way of her clarifying her value to you.
Always take it as a good sign when this happens.
But don’t rely on it.
Actively look for opportunities to qualify her, because it switches the frame so that temporarily, she is seeking your approval.
8 – Exchange pictures with her
The next method regarding how to get a girl to like you over text involves the exchange of pictures.
In the modern day, it’s become commonplace to take pictures capturing a unique angle or exciting moments in our lives.
So what better way to increase a woman’s attraction for you than showing yourself in a positive light?
It’s been said that a picture equals a thousand words, and we believe the sentiment to be true when it comes to dating as well.
Ask for her picture.
Say that you’re curious about her look, and that you wouldn’t mind sharing some of yours as well.
Have fun with it.
Maybe you have some truly unique pictures in exotic locales, or a professionally taken photo that highlights your best features.
Exchanging pictures can be a great way of sparking and furthering genuine attraction.
We encourage you to make the most of it.
9 – Use the “push and pull” technique
We introduced the concept of “push and pull” earlier when we suggested that you could say the following: “You seem interesting, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to meet you. Are you free later this week?”
Push and pull is a technique that pushes her away, while pulling her towards you at the same time.
It can appear as a compliment that makes her wonder, which is perfect for many reasons.
It’s a great way to make your interest in her somewhat clear, while remaining a challenge.
Here are a couple of additional examples of push & pull that you could use over text:
“I’m trying to decide if you’re a cool girl, but what you said earlier about (tease her on something) makes me wonder.”
Another suggestion to consider is: “I like that you’re adventurous. But it also makes me think that you could be troublesome.”
Moreover, push & pull should never involve insults in any way.
Insulting her is just rash, and is likely to turn her off for good.
Teasing her on the other hand is playful, and is more likely to make her enjoy your humorous side.
10 – Remember the purpose of texting
Lastly, the final technique to generate attraction through texting is to not forget its primary purpose.
Texting should be used to generate or further attraction, establish comfort, and determine logistics – in that order.
Move along these stages, and you’ll ensure that her attraction for you is not misplaced.
In addition, if you endlessly talk to her before asking her out, you may find that her interest in you has waned and that you’re no longer a priority to her.
But if you don’t build enough comfort and ask her out too fast, rushing the process could lead to failure, because you’ll appear overeager and just plain creepy.
Remember that the purpose of texting, accomplish it well, and she’ll be thankful for your ability to lead.
In Summary – How to Get a Girl to Like You Over Text
1) Show her your value & assume attraction
2) Tease her
3) Show her you’re interested… But not too much
4) Keep her guessing
5) Talk about what excites her
6) Gauge her interest level
7) Qualify her
8) Exchange pictures
9) Push & pull
10) Remember the purpose of texting