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How To Make Her Feel Special Through Text (8 Ways You Can Do It)

Smiling woman who feels special

Everybody deserves to feel special and appreciated. Anyone that can make us feel that way is going to grab our attention. Knowing how to make a girl feel special through text is so important in dating which is exactly what I’ll be covering today.

I’ll be going over some simple ways you can make her feel special through text when you’ve started dating. Trying to achieve that before date number one is going to feel like you’re trying a little too hard.

How to Make Her Feel Special Through Text

No matter how special she is to you, if you aren’t able to show her then she has no way of knowing. Sure, you can tell her and that’ll help a little but truly making her feel it is so much more powerful.

If you’re looking for something long-term with a woman, knowing how to make her feel special and getting her to like you through text can make all the difference. It can be what makes you stand out from everyone else and truly want to be around you more often.

While our advice is sound, these aren’t the only things you can do to make her feel special. Many of the best dating books we’ve found include chapters on how to earn brownie points and make her feel amazing.

If you’re looking for quick advice to get on her good side, keep on reading ahead.

Pay attention to her

This is the most important one of all. Don’t just hear when she’s talking, actually listen. From date number one she’s going to be sharing things about herself.

For the most part, she’s sharing these things because they’re important to her. The better you can pay attention to these things, the more opportunity you have to make her feel special. And who knows you might even pick up signs that she's flirting with you if you're really paying attention.

It’s such a common complaint from women that their partner doesn’t listen to them. That they share things they care about and their partner just doesn’t seem to care. When someone doesn’t feel heard, they feel disrespected.

By paying attention to these things you’re already taking huge steps in the right direction by showing her you care. It can be as simple as coming across an article about something she mentioned and sending her the link. This is an example of how your crush can notice you more.

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Surprise her with small gestures

Following on from this point, surprise her with little things she’s mentioned along the way. Maybe she mentioned a restaurant or a particular type of wine. It could even be her favorite spot by the river.

The monetary value is completely irrelevant here (and we’ll get into that later). What you’re doing is showing that you were paying attention.

As an example, maybe a couple of months ago she talked about a great little tapas bar downtown. The next time you want to plan a date, don’t tell her where you’re going, just make a reservation at that bar.

Text her and let her know the location is a secret but it’s somewhere you remember her talking about. It takes minimal effort but the gesture says so much.

Text her when you know something significant is happening

I’m not talking about when she’s heading to a family funeral or something, that’s obvious. What I’m talking about is if she told you when she graduates from university or has an important meeting at work.

All it takes is an unprompted “good luck in your meeting today!”

This is ultimately another extension of my first point. Pay attention to important dates and when that day rolls around, send her a quick text to wish her luck.

It’s such a small thing but once again, you’re showing her you’ve been listening.

Don’t throw money at her, just put in a little effort

Sure, everyone loves receiving gifts and we’re going to appreciate them no matter the cost. When it comes to dating though, throwing money at her is, ironically, cheap.

Anyone can swipe a credit card and hand over an object but what does it actually communicate? That you think she’s dating you for free gifts? That you think money is a high priority for her? If she is all about material possessions, you might want to raise your standards.

Making her a cup of coffee in the morning is so much more important than an expensive piece of jewelry. In fact, if you’ve just started dating, buying her expensive things is going to send all the wrong signals.

This same notion extends to text messages too. If you want to make her feel special through text, a simple “I thought of you today when I saw this [photo]” goes a long way.

Invite her out to meet your friends

I like to make this suggestion via text the first time. Inviting her to meet your friends is a suggestion that your dating gets more serious. By texting her about it, you’re giving her time to think it through.

By extending this invitation, you’re telling her you’re proud to be dating her. That you think highly enough of her that you want her friends to see you too. This is also a subtle way of telling her that you like her over text.

It’s a sign you care about her and want her to meet some of the important people in your life. It’s also another simple, completely free gesture that makes her feel special.

Tell her what you appreciate about her (besides looks)

You’re dating this woman so obviously you’re attracted to her. It can be so easy to fall into the trap of focusing on how she looks but try to avoid that.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to hear how good you think she looks. The reason I suggest avoiding those compliments is that they can also feel quite cheap and shallow.

Instead, text her about the things you really appreciate about her. It could be the way she handled a tough situation or a positive habit you admire. This is a great example of what to text a girl you like.

It’s not so much about the actual thing you appreciate, it’s the fact that you’re taking the time to point it out.

People can be so quick to judge things and be negative. Taking a moment to let her know you appreciate something about who she is will make her feel special.

Dive into her hobbies and passions

I’m a pretty adventurous guy and I’ll try (almost) anything once. In terms of dating, this has been a huge help for me.

I’ve been on some wacky adventures and tried some things that were out of my comfort zone just for fun. When I’m willing to try something she’s into, it shows that I care enough about her to take that risk.

Imagine this situation reversed. You’re into motorbikes, football and tennis. How much more excited are you going to feel about her if she’s down to get on the bike with you? What about if she buys you both tickets to the next game or asks if she can try playing tennis?

When someone takes a genuine interest in the things you care about, it makes you feel pretty special. That's a clear sign that she likes you. Even more so when they’re willing to try it for the first time with you.

Try new things together

Still stuck for ideas around how to make her feel special through text? This works very much like my previous point.

Trying new things can sometimes make us feel vulnerable. We feel like people who are into that sport or hobby are going to judge us for being bad at it or for having cheap equipment.

Suggesting you both go do something new together despite this vulnerability tells her a lot. It says that you feel safe with her and don’t mind being out of your comfort zone.

Texting her with this kind of suggestion can kick start an exciting conversation and makes for some great experiences. Even if neither of you ever try that activity again, at least you now share a fun memory of a new experience.

How to Make a Girl Obsessed with You Over Text

Now to the good part, learning how to make a girl obsessed with you. For me, this is the most fun part of texting. There are so many ways you can make a girl like you – and stay attracted to you way beyond the first date. But to make her absolutely head over heels for you? Here are some tips:

1. No texts during party hours

Your goal as a man is to lead a fun happy life with girls being the cherry on top of it. This type of life excites women and makes you look more desirable to them.

You can’t imagine the number of relationships that die just because the dude seemed so much fun on the outside then became a hobby-less couch potato once she moved in.

Go out, meet other people, enjoy your time, and only text her when you have time for her. Or at least, give her the impression that you have a busy life and don’t text her during party hours (aka, Friday and Saturday nights). Her mind will get restless, and she’ll be wondering what is he doing and with whom, which will make you look even more valuable to her.

Before you know it, she'll be planning some fun Friday and Saturday night activities with you to make sure you spend more time with her.

2. Match how often she texts

Patience is the secret sauce of all great seducers. If you drop everything and message a girl as soon as she texts you, she’ll think you don't have a life, which is partially true. I only text a girl right away when the conversation is fun/emotional and she’s so hooked she can’t wait for me to text so she can reply back. Once she goes 5 minutes or more without replying, I match her texting speed or even exceed it.

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3. Always be the first to drop the conversation

No matter how much fun I’m having texting a girl, I force my urge to keep it going and end the conversation once it lasts over 30 minutes. You'd think it's counterproductive, but it actually makes her want you more.

Texting is meant to be used for scheduling and confirming dates. The real fun should be when both of you meet. So don’t waste all the good topics on a meaningless text chat and whine that you can’t find a good topic to discuss over the date.

Anytime the conversation goes beyond the 30-40 minute mark, end it abruptly, it makes you appear charismatic.

Say you want to go to leave to the gym, get back to work, or just have some “you” time. She may complain that you’re not giving her enough attention, but she’ll respect you for not being glued to your phone. You’re better off ending the conversation on a high than wait for her to get bored and leave you on read. 

3. DO NOT – under most circumstances - give her straight answers

What did you do last night?

There are two ways to answer this question:

A) Went to the movies with some friends. We watched that new movie with Denzel. It was pretty good.

B) Lol, couples’ questions already? Wouldn't you like to know 😉

The first is direct and kills the conversation before it starts. The second answer, however, is fun, teasing, disagreeable, and opens different conversation threads – plus it puts you and her in the “we/couple” frame which unconsciously hints at a special bond between you two.

Let people work hard to get an answer from you. This makes whatever you say seem more valuable and expands the conversation.

4. Flip the scenario

Girls are used to guys putting them on pedestals. Ask any girl you know to show you her Tinder or Instagram DMs and you’ll see a long episode of real-time kiss-assery. This simping turns women off quicker than knowing a guy has mommy issues.

However, that's good news for you because she won’t expect it if you flip the scenario on her and slightly push her away instead of admiring her for silly reasons. Each time a girl talks about you, accuse her of chasing you, thinking of you, or coming on to you.


  • She says she saw someone who looks like you, tell her, “Lol, so you daydream about me too. By any chance, does it include anything kinky?”
  • She says she likes tall men like you, tell her, “Oh, so you’re dating me for protection. I thought you liked me for my personality.”

In both examples, you implied that she likes you or is thinking about you. You also implied that her emotions are obvious for the blind to see, which will make it easy for her to admit them, even if she partially feels them.

More importantly, she doesn’t expect guys to behave this way, which shocks her and makes her obsessed with you.

5. Keep the compliment ratio to 1:1 (or less)

Don’t rush to compliment a girl EVER. Both men and women hate neediness. Imagine if a girl compliments you every day for no specific reason. It may sound appealing at first – like a dream come true – but soon the compliments feel like platitudes and you'll get bored. After all, how many compliments can someone reasonably come up with in a day?!

The more you compliment, the less attracted she will become, especially if you only compliment her on her looks. Constantly showering her with praise gets old. Unless she's a narcissist, she wants more from you than just another barrage of "you're so pretty" passed through a thesaurus.

Wait till she compliments you first before doing the same. If she’s really hot, avoid complimenting her looks too much and keep your sweet words for her actions and personality. Hot women don’t expect to be complimented on those, so whatever you say will leave an impression, as long as you mean it. 

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6. Or use push-pulls

You can also use the push-pull technique when you praise a girl to lessen the effect of the compliment. Push-pulls are also called backhanded compliments. You compliment her with one hand and tease her with the other. Like saying “Yeah, you have decent taste in music... If you're 13." Nothing offensive, just a bit of teasing.

Those things show the girl that you like her but not to a full degree. Twill make her obsess over you and work harder to keep your attention. 

7. She will lay low for a while… DO NOT WORRY (Important)

When a girl likes you, she will distance herself to assess her emotions AND see how well you’ll respond. She wants to know if you'll miss her if she disappears. It's a test that you must not fail.

If you freak out, text her all day and night, and ask her why she lost interest, she’ll ignore your ass and move on. However, if you stay cool, get busy with your life, and fight all the temptations to do something over-the-top to win her over again, she’ll be twice as obsessed as before.

When a girl you went out or slept with ignores your text, don’t push for an explanation or text her immediately. Give her a couple of days then engage in a light conversation to assess her mood.

Evoke her emotions then wait until she’s responsive again before asking to meet up. 

8. Keep your past vague

I have never seen any good from talking about my exes with a girl I’m dating. If you want to learn how to make a woman obsess over you, you must learn to shut up and be vague about your past.

Don’t give too many details about your past relationships or who are you sleeping with. This will make her create stories and scenarios in her mind that make her even more obsessed with you. Never fill her information gaps even if she asks directly. Those stories she tells herself are the fire to her obsession.

The more you give her clear answers the faster her obsession dies. Maneuver around her questions, answer abruptly, tease her about chasing you or just tell her “all you need to know is that I don’t have kids or a problem with Child Support." And then joke about it.


Learning how to make her feel special through text can really differentiate you from other guys. But learning how to make a girl obsessed with you over text? That's definitely going to keep you on her mind all the time!

Remember: just a series of small gestures that show you’re paying attention to her can be all it takes. Better yet, when you learn to do this through the dating phase, it’s also going to carry over into your next relationship.


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