Many guys ask me, "how to tell if a girl likes you over text when everything she says is subtle?"
But to suggest that there are many signs a girl likes you through text would be an understatement.
Sometimes it's clear as the sun that this girl is head over heels for you, and sometimes she's just excited or in the mood...
It takes some experience to tell if a girl likes you for real, or is just being friendly. Especially when it's hard to express your true emotions through text - at least compared to phone or facetime. There are a hundred explanations for a "lol" or "gotcha." It's hard to tell if she's smiling, anxious, or just asking you to try harder..
So, the question shouldn't be how to know if she likes you through text, but rather, can you tell if she does?
It's complicated, but the simple answer is yes… You can easily know if a girl likes you over text. Girls often rely on subtlety to tell the guy they have a crush on, “Hey, I like you. Have some guts and ask me out.”
The problem, however, is that a man’s emotional quotient (EQ) is less than that of a woman. They're more socially aware and use a hefty load of verbal cues to communicate, which to us are just..
She will be throwing signs of interest -or disinterest- at you, and all you'll be thinking about is, "dude, this girl is weird."
But she isn't. That's just her language, and you have to pick up on it to get better with her...
Like learning Finnish, but a little less boring.
I’ve been there, and I had to learn it with trial, error, and tons of experiences just so I can tell from the signs if the girl is interested over text or just being nice.
And to help you out, I made you this list of 24 signs of interest and almost a dozen screenshots so that by the time you finish reading you already know if the girl is interested for real, or she was just being super friendly.
Just a quick note.. I didn't arrange the signs according to importance because I don't believe there's just one sign that a girl likes you over text. They often come in a bundle
(the more, the better)
So what you'll be looking for is at least 3-5 good signs of interest. If you find them, then bravo, you're doing it right and you just need to ask her out and bring that text fun to the street.
If you don't, however, then you need to either let her go or learn how to spice things up over text. We have other guides that can teach you this
But leave them till you finish this guide. The tips, and screenshots, that I added here are gold, and will teach you a lot about the art of texting women. Be it on WhatsApp, Tinder, or any hookup apps or even sites for just dating older women.
So, without further ado, here's how to tell when a girl is interested over text...
Only an emotionally evoked person will send you two, three, or even four texts at once.
Take a look at the following screenshots,
Did you notice the text ratio between both of us?
and a lot of emojis as well.
Here's another example:
Can you see how invested she was in the conversation...That's a sign of excitement and it can be temporarily. However, if it becomes a pattern and the girl double or triple texts you all the time then that's a very good sign she likes you over text.
I once teased a girl about how her shoes didn’t match with her toe nails’ color. The next day she sent me a photo of her newly polished feet.
Weird. But it was a good sign she liked me.
(also sending a photo without asking is a bonus sign)
So, if a girl changes how she does something, or how she says something over text, then it’s a good sign she likes you.
Especially if she wants you to know she's complying.
Similarly, if you tease her about something she does or wears, and she likes you, she may show her affection by changing what you didn’t like about her.
First off, let me explain what disqualifying a girl over text means..
A disqualifier is implying to the girl that she doesn’t belong to your company but in a fun way. Like telling a girl, “You’re cool. Unfortunately, I don’t have a thing for short girls.”
It’s a fun way of saying, I’m selective and I’m not sure you belong to my circle.
This drives girls crazy because most guys are dying to be with them, especially if she’s cute.
And if she likes you, she will try to justify why she deserves to be with you
(aka – Qualify herself to you)
I like to use disqualifiers right before asking the girl out because it says that I’m not that needy and makes her invest in the conversation. And if she puts energy into the conversation, she’s less likely to flake when we meet.
That girl asked me what I was doing in Barcelona and told her I’m undercover CIA which led into some role-playing about recruiting her.
I asked if she was good with guns and she said “probably.” A typical reply from a guy would be, “Cool, let’s find out over dinner.”
That’s a BIG mistake because it tells her you’re already sold and you wanna meet her asap.
What you should do, however, is take a step away and see if she will come closer (just like stopping midway before a kiss and letting her go for it).
So I disqualified her with “wrong answer, can’t gamble people’s lives on probably.”
And she went crazy with three texts in less than 30 seconds - even though the first time we matched she left me hanging dry for 5 days.
So, I asked her out, and then again gave her another disqualifier to get her further invested.
One surefire way to know she’s interested in you is if she starts conversations. It’s her way of letting you know that she likes you, even if she feels only a spark at the moment.
If a girl asks for what you up to, or even send “Sup”? She’s probably feeling it out to see if you want to do something spontaneous, there's a very good chance she just wants to initiate a text exchange with you and is seeing if you're free.
And you can never reply with “nothing.” That’s the worst reply in the textbook.
Because it leaves her with no jumping-off point. That’s like telling someone who just told you “Good morning” to shut the F up. You just denied her a good conversation. But that’s not the point. We’ll work on your texting skills later.
But for now, if a girl keeps initiating conversations with you, that’s a really good sign she likes you.
Besides taking the initiative, if she continues conversations then you can bet that she likes you.
If her replies add substance, or if she indirectly pleads you to go on, you should feel confident with your approach.
Talk to her and get to know her a little bit more.
And make sure to tease her every so often to push her emotional buttons.
If she keeps apologizing for making typos or sends another message just to correct a misspelled letter then it can be a sign she likes you..
But this can also mean she's insecure about how other people see her in general, so you have to look for patterns.
If they don't like you, most girls won't go out of their way to correct their typos. So that extra message is a sign of investment.
Also, a bonus tip for you:
When you make a mistake over text, or you misspell a word, don't fix it. Be carefree and let it go... People/the girl won't notice if you act as if the mistake never happened.
Even though sending a single text message is a small time investment, it’s still an investment nonetheless.
So if you’re asking her simple questions and she’s giving you lengthy replies, knowing that you’re probably her best option at the moment.
She wouldn’t invest in a conversation with a guy that she didn’t see as a valuable catch.
Consider the difference between the following:
You: “So how was your Saturday night?”
Her: “It was good, how about yours?”
You: “So how was your Saturday night?”
Her: “Hey! I went out with a few friends I hadn’t seen in a while, so it was a great time. How about you? Did you go out as well?”
While these are merely examples, they do illustrate the difference between a girl that is highly interested in you and one who is only somewhat receptive.
Just don't make the mistake of immediately telling her you like her through text! Keep your conversations lighthearted, and save that conversation for when you're actually with her.
If she justifies herself when you tease her instead of telling you to F off, then it’s a good sign that she wants you to see her in a better light.
One of my favorite teasing techniques is the infamous push-pull. If you don’t know what it means (how dare you?), it simply says that you sugarcoat your compliment with a negative line to tease her and avoid looking needy/eager.
For example, instead of saying “I like your style,” you can say “I think you got style..despite that weird casquette you wore last time.”
If she defends herself, or tells you, “No, you love my casquette” instead of saying something cold like, “ok,” “Yeah! Cool” Or “f*** off” then she cares about how you see her, which can be a good sign she likes you.
Remember the last screenshot when the girl subtly asked me to take her out…
Girls do this a lot, and you just need to be aware enough to see the signs
My favorite question is “what does your week look like?”
This is one of the better signs a girl is flirting through text and that she does actually want to see you.
She's giving you enough space to bow out if your schedule simply doesn't allow it, but she's letting you know that if you're available, she's prepared to make time for you.
Be prepared though: while it is perfectly acceptable to not be able to accommodate her this weekend (family in town, work responsibilities, etc.), the onus is now on you to reschedule.
If you must decline, be sure to follow-up with concrete plans if you're interested.
For example: "This weekend is rough: it's my mom's birthday, so I'll be out of town.
But there's a great Italian place I've been meaning to check out.
Wanna meet up after work or lock it down for next weekend?"
If she complains that you don’t give her enough space is a good sign she likes you.
Unless you’re her dentist :p
She thinks you’re being distant and wants more time with you, so she complains instead of telling you bluntly, “Hey, I want attention.”
Here for instance. In addition to quadruple-texting me in less than a minute, she’s complaining that I’m not giving her time.
Also, when you tell a girl I hate you and she replies with something like “no you don’t” in a fun way, then it’s probably how she wants you to feel about her. This is, again, an excellent sign she likes you over text.
“You never tell me anything about you.”
If you get that a lot, then it’s a very good sign she likes you over text. She’s literally saying “you’re mysterious to me. It’s exciting, and I wanna know more.”
What you should do, however, is don’t spill all the beans because once you throw everything out in public, you become common and predictable, just like every other guy out there.
Don’t reveal everything about you early on. Just a little here and a little there and keep it this way. Don’t be like a comedian on a talent show who gives their best game in the first call-up, then suck miserably in the second.
Does she remember your most intimate details, like your mom’s name or how much you don’t like mustard?
Yes? Then she’s paying attention AND wants you to know it.
Some people have good memories, but a girl won’t bother remembering details about you unless she kinda cares. So if she tells you how much she liked the blueberry cake at Starbucks (that you recommended), or better, brings you one the next time she sees you then she got out of her way to show that she likes you.
You know you’re spending a good time with someone when your vocabulary rubs on theirs. It’s just how chemistry works.
If the girl you’re texting starts using your favorite slang/terms then it’s a subtle sign she’s trying to identify with your lingo and get closer to you….aka, she probably likes you.
For instance, I don’t use many emojis when I’m talking to a girl early on. I use (:p or :D) instead which reflects my emotions without making me look super eager (I highly recommend doing this).
I also say, “Lol,” “cool,” “next” and “86 it” a lot. So, if I notice that she’s shifting to my lingo then it says that I’m in the right direction.
For example, if that’s her emoji preference…
Then she shifts to this,
then you’re doing something right.
If she telling you what she’s doing at the moment without asking her, or if showers you with info about how her day went, then she probably wants you to be part of it.
This, however, depends on what type of info she shares with you. If she’s always complaining or venting out, then it’s also possible she sees you as friends. However, if she’s giving you positive updates, then it can mean you’re doing the right things to win her over.
It’s unlikely that you use your phone every 5 or 10 minutes throughout the day.
It is likely however that she does since most women are obsessed with their phones.
So if she always takes hours to respond to your text messages, unfortunately, she is just not that interested or you aren't saying the right things that will keep her interested.
On the other hand, if most of the time she replies to your texts within minutes, she’s definitely into you.
Just remember that she will be busy every so often as well.
So just because she takes a few hours to reply on occasion does not mean that she’s no longer interested.
Nevertheless, her response times are a reliable indicator of her interest level.
Escalating with girls, especially over text, is an art.
You don’t match with a girl on Tinder so you become pen friends. Both of you expect and even wish, that things develop well from texting to getting intimate together. So, yes. You should find no shame in being a guy who loves sex because that’s how we mate and because she too likes it.
However, some men make two mistakes when it comes to sexualizing with a girl:
Yes. I mean those guys who wait till the third date to go for the kiss. She will get bored pretty quickly and will friendzone you in no time.
Those guys who will open with eggplant or “I can see that booty shaking on my lap.”
That’s a huge turn-off to most women who want to enjoy intimacy/sex without being slut-shamed.
I can go on and on about how to escalate over text but that’s not our topic.
You’re here to know if she likes you over text or not… One way to know is to see how well she responds to any hint of intimacy…
Most girls will respond in two ways:
And if you pass it…. Jackpot.
I met this girl on Tinder. We were talking about something when she said in Arabic “You wanna kill me?”
She gave me a soft shit-test (emoji) to see if I will cave and apologize or not. But I stood my ground and didn’t apologize. In fact, I teased her about it…
Two minutes later she gave me that cute response with a shotgun of emojis. And that’s when I asked her out.
If that’s what you get. Don’t apologize for being a man. Just say “I don’t see any shame of talking about sex/expressing my sexuality, but sorry if I offended you.”
That’s the most respectful way of ending it when a girl responds that way.
Again, I don’t recommend talking sex with a colleague or a girl who seems very conservative or shy.
If she gets bothered when you mention other girls, or if she wants to know if you’re interested in other girls, then it’s possible that she wants to know if you’re available for her or that you worth the effort.
Even though there are many signs a girl likes you through text, there are few signs superior that when she sends you smiley faces or laughs hysterically at something you say.
Like in grade school, you might make a remark that isn’t necessarily funny, yet she will laugh because she can’t help but call for your attention.
The same principle applies when she gives you an exaggerated laugh or a “;)” over text. It's one way for shy girls to show that they're into you without being obvious.
At worst, she’s trying to show you that she has a lighthearted and easy-going vibe.
Why would she go out of her way to do this for a man she isn’t interested in?
When she attempts to tease–either successfully or poorly–it shows that she’s comfortable showing you her sense of humor, which can be a good sign she has feelings for you.
It also provides you an opportunity to compliment her personality, which works especially well if it’s obvious that she made a lackluster attempt at a joke.
On that note, when it comes to teasing, sarcasm is one of your greatest weapons.
So don’t be shy to give it a try.
One of the most obvious signs a girl likes you through text is when she asks you for your picture.
While men are quick to ask women for theirs, it rarely works the opposite way.
So when it does, you can be sure that her interest in you is high.
Moreover, you’ll find that only the most confident or outgoing women will go so far to ask you for your picture.
So don’t worry if it doesn’t happen to you all that often.
But when it does, recognize the opportunity that’s been made available to you.
If a girl is too shy to admit she doesn’t like you, she will try to give you hints, including telling you how happy she is with her boyfriend or a guy she just met.
However, if she likes you, she won’t try to mention the other guys lurking in her DM – who might be in tens if she’s cute – or at put you in a positive light comparing to them.
Yes, I know that some girls will mention other guys to make you feel jealous, or threatened, but that’s not always the case. The least she will do is not mention her boyfriend/crush every five seconds.
If you’re not aware of this fact already, know that most women do not feel comfortable sending out their pictures.
While displaying it on their online profile is one thing, sending it to a man personally is something she reserves for those that she is at the very least interested in.
So don’t be afraid to ask her for a picture–at the very least to test her receptiveness to you.
Additionally, if she sends you her picture without you asking, it’s a very strong sign that she likes you–especially if the picture is provocative.
For instance, she might expose some cleavage or she might have a filter on to enhance her overall appearance.
With that said, her sending you a picture unprompted is extremely rare, but it bears mentioning since it does happen every now and then.
While it’s certainly nothing special, it’s still a good sign if she asks you what you do.
Especially if she tells you that she finds it interesting, or asks you to talk more about yourself.
“What do you do?” is often a way for her to get to know more about you without sounding overeager.
While you shouldn’t get overly excited if she asks you this question, you should take it as a positive sign.
Tell her more about yourself in a casual but fascinating way.
Yet another sign a girl likes you through text is if she makes indirect suggestions.
She may also drop hints regarding her thoughts about you.
If she really likes you, she might even be the first to suggest meeting up for a first date.
If she asks “do you have any plans for the weekend?” it could mean that she’s simply curious about your plans, or that she actually wants to meet you on the weekend.
There’s only one way to find out.
While women will rarely go all the way to ask you out, they do tend to facilitate the process for you when they’re interested.
It’s very rare for a girl to say she likes you over text.
Unless she’s really confident and hates bullshit talk, or unless she thinks you’re way out of her league (probably a girl that you friend-zoned).
Like I said earlier, most girls will give you hints that they like you over text (and in real life), instead of confessing their feelings.
But regardless of how you find out...you have two options.
It’s up to you...
You can ignore her signs if you don’t like her - She will first think you’re stupid and can’t read signs but will eventually understand the message.
You can take her out (asap) – Why ASAP? Because texting isn’t the perfect place to build a romance with a girl. Her emotions will always stay flaky until you follow them with a good date and cement them with a good bedroom time.
I already have a guide on how to ask a girl out over text, but here’s a quick recap:
It's VERY easy to tell if a girl is losing interest over text...
Did you read the 24 signs that I just gave you?
She will do the opposite :d
She will give you silence, very short replies, boring replies and if she ever wanted something from you she will either cut to the chase or be nice to you for a while and then spend hours texting the guy who teases her brains out.
I will give you a test to use whenever you're confused about any girl and or ask yourself, "Is she interested but shy or not interested at all?"
It's very simple but requires some guts...
Here it is...
You like her but can’t tell her until you make sure she feels the same.
Fine by me.
The question now is: How to gauge her interest over text and be certain about your next step?
The answer is simple, yet requires A LOT of patience.
Yes, P.A.T.I.E.N.C.E. It’s the maker and the breaker of most relationships.
When I go through some of my old texts I realize that lack of patience ruined many of them. The two biggest mistakes are:
So, you have to be patient to gauge a girl’s interest over text....
It's a MUST.
That’s the #1 skill you should learn.
And as for the technicals, that’s how to test a girl through text….
Are you ready?
Stop texting her for 2-4 days
That’s where you need patience the most, especially if you’ve been texting back and forth and she seems kinda responsive. But you gotta see if she really likes you or was just being friendly.
So, skip a couple of days and see what happens.
Then, bro, you must get tough.
And that's how you do it, by not texting her for a while.
If she texts first, ask you what’s up, or initiates a conversation of any kind then that’s a big sign she likes you over text. Your short absence has erupted her emotions and even made her rethink her value to you.
She might be thinking he (you) has more important things/girls to do, or that you’ve lost interest.
And in case you don’t know already, occupying her mind is a good thing.
It’s very important that you hold your ground for the few days you decide not to text her. Girls aren’t stupid, at least not as stupid as many men think, and know that some guys like to play absent to mess with their emotions.
So she might test you by changing her photo multiple times or appearing online more often just to get you to text her.
She may even remove her WhatsApp photo to make you think she blocked you,
(happened to me before)…
This move makes some guys panic and text back right away just to make sure the girl didn’t block them.
And to a girl with such mentality…that’s a huge turn-off.
But what if she doesn’t text you first?
Still, cool. At least you showed her that you’re a busy man who doesn’t have time to text her 24/7….
Or maybe you’re busy texting other girls…
Either way, she thinks you have patience/and got game…which at least puts you in the non-needy category.
You can always text her later and see how she’s doing. Maybe give her a sample of what she’s been missing the past two days and play with her.
One thing to remember is to NEVER ask if she missed you or say anything that tells her your absence was intentional.
“Did you miss me?”
“Been two days since you last texted me…I hate you”
Men don’t say things like that to women they don’t know – or even women they know – and that’s why they don’t get laid often.
Don’t ask a girl if she misses you. It sweats neediness and ruins all your efforts to build value in her eyes.
Some people don't like to read through a 5k-word guide.
We understand :d
So, here are the 24 signs a girl likes you over text summarized in just a few words:
If you can see signs that she likes you more than a friend then it might be time to ask her out. Check out our guide for how to ask a girl out without fail, and you might soon go on a date!