Sending that first text to a crush is crucial. You want to make a good impression. You want your text to be so compelling that she just has to text you back. But how do you achieve such a feat? Does that mean you can’t just text “hey” or “how’s it going?”
That’s exactly what it means. If you truly want to capture your crush’s attention, some effort will definitely be required. If you want to text like a boss, that means not only capturing her attention but keeping it.
Let’s take a look at some of the most effective things to text your crush when you want to get the conversation going and build attraction between you.
What to Text Your Crush
So, you got the number of the hottie you’ve been crushing on but you haven’t actually been out on a date yet. What should you text that girl you like?
1. Be direct
Chances are if your crush gave you her number, she’s at least a little bit into you. She wouldn’t give you her number otherwise, right? So the best strategy is to be direct. Let her know you’re into her.
This can be done in a number of different ways, depending on your personality. Whether you’re flirty, suave or serious, make sure your text matches your personality and never try to be something you’re not. This is one of the ways you can get that girl to like you.
If you’re a serious guy, texting something simple is the best way to go. “I really enjoyed meeting you. Just wanted to let you know you’re on my mind.”
A bit more of a charmer? “I’m having a hard time concentrating at work today. Maybe it’s because I keep thinking about you. How’s your day going?”
The key is to tell her that you like her and to have her anticipating your next text. Because what woman doesn’t enjoy knowing the effect she’s having on a man?
2. Text your crush something funny
Women love a guy who can make her laugh! Humor can be used to great effect when you’re trying to win over a crush via text, especially if she doesn’t get back to you within a day or two.
If she hasn’t replied to your text, don’t send her a snarky or needy message. Both are big turn offs for women. Instead, you can tackle radio silence by being funny.
Here’s the thing about humor, though: you can’t give canned responses. Your sense of humor is unique, so you should let that show in your message. If you don’t know how to use your sense of humor to get her attention, you can instead check out her latest social media posts. There’s bound to be some inspiration there that you can use to make her chuckle.
Surprisingly, sending a funny meme like this can also work well. Nine times out of 10 it will get her laughing. And when a woman thinks you’re funny, chances are she’ll text back.
3. Keep it going
Once you’ve got her talking, you’ll need to keep the momentum going. And the best way to do that is with good conversation starters. Try asking her questions that will help you get to know her — and that means asking open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer.
- “What do you most look forward to at the end of your work day?”
- “Do you have any guilty pleasures?”
- “What are you most passionate about?”
- “Who is the most important person in your life?”
- “What’s your idea of the perfect day?”
Not only are these great ways to get her talking, but she’ll likely ask you to respond in kind and that should get a good back-and-forth going.
4. Be bold
Once you’ve shared a few text convos with your crush, it’s time to pop the question. And by that we mean ask her out. If you wait too long to say you want to see her, she’ll be doubting your intentions. And that’s not what you want.
Let her know that while you’ve enjoyed texting with her, it’s time to take your connection to the next level. When you ask her out, don’t leave it too open-ended. If you ask if she wants to get together sometime soon, she may say yes. But that probably won’t get you any closer to an actual date.
“Wanna grab dinner this Saturday? I know this awesome food hall that just opened!” is so much better than asking “How about getting together sometime soon?”
Even if she’s not available on the days you suggest, don’t wait for another conversation to bring it up again. Find a date and time that works for both of you right there and then.
5. Be considerate
Well, you’ve done it. You’ve got a date set with your crush. That doesn’t mean you should stop texting her, though. Keeping the communication going up until your actual date is a great way to build excitement about seeing each other face-to-face.
Continue your usual banter with her up until the night before and then just shoot her a “confirming we’re still on” text. That gives her peace of mind that you’ll not only be there but that you’ll be just as likable and considerate in person.
On the day of your date, you can send a “looking forward to seeing you” text or, if you want to play it cool, an “on my way, see you soon” text half an hour before the date. She’ll appreciate the reassurance and your thoughtfulness.
What Not to Do When Texting Your Crush
Now that you know how to grab your crush’s attention via text message, keep these major faux pas in mind because they can definitely kill the mood:
1. Overuse LOL
The use of LOL after every sentence has become a bit of an epidemic. Using LOL — or ha ha ha — after pretty much every sentence you write is not only cumbersome, it’s downright bizarre.
Think of it this way, when you’re talking with someone in person, you don’t laugh at the end of every sentence you speak do you? Of course not. You only laugh when something is actually funny, so why wouldn’t you treat your texts the same way?
If you don’t find yourself snickering while you’re texting something, avoid using LOL or any of its equivalents. Save it for when something is actually funny.
2. Wait too long to text
Like we said before, texting the next day is a good thing. Never, ever adhere to the “three-day rule” before texting your crush. This is the worst advice that has ever been given in the dating world and should be abolished.
You want your crush to know you’re interested. Waiting three days to text definitely doesn’t send that message.
We’re not saying you should text your crush immediately after getting her digits, but the next day is perfectly acceptable. This not only lets your crush know she’s on your mind, it keeps you on her mind too.
3. Text too much
While texting soon is good, no one likes an over-texter. If she doesn’t respond right away, that doesn’t mean you should flood her phone with texts.
Not only does that appear over-eager, but it can also even be seen by some women as creepy or desperate. Keep in mind, she has a life and a busy schedule. So wait for her to respond to you before you text again.
4. Have unrealistic expectations
Even if you’ve built up a good rapport with your crush and seen signs that she likes you, don’t expect her to spend every waking moment texting with you. Remember, she has a life: job, family, friends and commitments, so she may not always have time to chat.
One of the worst things you can do is to send an angry text about why she’s taking so long to respond to you or about her not being available to text at a certain time.
If you expect her to check in with you every day or answer your texts immediately, then you’re heading down a road that will likely kill any hope you have of a relationship with your crush.
5. The top thing to NOT text your crush: nudes and sexts
Yes, sending the odd photo to your crush can be a good thing. And while photos can stimulate a conversation via text, sending something too intimate is never a good idea. That means no naked pics, no underwear pics and definitely no close ups of the crotch area.
The same goes for sexual texts. Just. Don’t. Do. It. No matter how sexy your crush is or how badly you want to sleep with her, sending suggestive texts isn’t appropriate, even if you've seen signs that she's flirting with you. Getting sexual before you’ve even had your first date conveys only one thing: “I just want to sleep with you.”
Instead, focus on sending texts that show her you value her as a person rather than as a sexual object. This will make her feel special. In this getting-to-know-you stage, safe is always better than sorry. You don’t want to turn your crush off by being lewd or over eager.
So, while sexting and sexy photos may be great to spice up a relationship, they’re far from appropriate in the earlier going.