You’ll find a lot of info on how to get a girl to text you back. But a lot of them are based on neediness and sometimes borderline emotional blackmail. In truth, attraction is not based on anything but confidence. Unless you have the confidence that she finds attractive, your message will be on “read” forever.
How to get a girl to text you back has nothing to do with looks. Half of my face isn’t missing, and I look nothing like Freddy-Kreuger-looking bastard. That means my looks are average at best. But I do a damn good job of picking up women who are physically “out of my league.”
Attraction for men is pretty static. Men find women either attractive or not attractive, depending on their taste. The same must be true for women, right? Nope. That’s total bull. Women experience attraction differently. Their attraction dial can go up or down depending on the situation.
How to get a girl to text you back is a matter of knowledge and the practical application of it. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to get continually pissed off if she’s not responding to messages. So this article offers both a practical yet mental approach to becoming more successful.
Here are the most important things to remember if you want her to text you back:
When even thinking about texting a girl, make sure the interaction with her in person actually went well first. This is perhaps the most important tip of all. No amount of "text game" is likely to help you recover from a nervous, awkward in-person interaction. Approach her confidently. Make it clear you're attracted to her. Be fun. Give her space to chase you. Also, when you exchange numbers, make sure it's clear that you're doing so to arrange a date in the future.
If there's no chemistry when you initially approach a woman, she may still give you a phone number. However, there will be a negligible chance of getting her to reply. It might not even be her actual phone number. Women are experts at giving away fake phone numbers to creepy men, just so they go away!
If you text her immediately after exchanging numbers or even within a few hours, it can make you seem a little too excited to meet her again.
When someone texts back too fast, it also tends to appear as if they don’t have too much else going on in their life.
Guys with active lives will often take a few hours to text someone back because they're too busy to always be checking their phone. You want to come across as this type of guy . . .
If you wait a while before texting her back, you give her time to wonder if you're ever going to get in touch. By doing this, you allow her to become more excited when your message finally arrives.
It’s alright to wait a day or two before texting a woman after your first interaction. This is short enough for her to remember the interaction but long enough to give her space to think about the guy she just met.
Patience is a virtue when responding to her messages too. The longer the wait, the more she’ll wonder why the guy she met isn’t texting her back. She already has enough beta males texting her the same crap. So stand out by remaining aloof especially if she is already demonstrating some of the signs a girl likes you through texting.
Remember: Less is more. I typically like to wait an hour or two in between messages. Sometimes I’ll even take up to half a day. We recommend leaving at least leave as much time in between replies as she does.
To increase the chances of getting a response: always make commands, and don’t ask questions when first getting to know each other. There’s something about asking a question over a text that, regardless of how it comes across in person, seems needy.
To get to know her, instead of asking a question about her hobbies, TELL her to tell you about her hobbies. For example, “Tell me about your hobbies.” This will seem more authoritative and women love men who tell them what to do. Personally speaking, I love telling people what to do anyway. So adopting this same mentality will make it easier to implement more of a commanding personality.
Another effective alternative to questions is assumptions. For the hobbies examples above, you'd guess what she likes to do in her spare time. This is a fun way to find out more about her, which is more interesting than the same old “getting to know you” questions that most guys ask. Plus, it'll spark her curiosity. She'll often wonder what led you to make such an assumption and will therefore text you back to ask you.
Never send more than one message at a time at first. There's something so disgustingly needy about texting a woman again before she has even replied to your previous message.
You either come across as a guy with nothing else going on in his life--or a loser who's paranoid that she's ignoring you.
The absolute worst situation is when guys text messages such as “pls respond” or “'hello??”
Women keep their phones on them 24/7. They’re practically harboring them as extensions to their hand. If she doesn’t respond immediately or at all, here’s a tip: SHE GOT THE MESSAGE. Rest assured, she reads all of her messages. If a woman is interested in the interaction, she’ll make time to reply to it.
This applies to relationships, as well. If I send a text and if she doesn’t reply within a couple of days, THEN I’ll send a follow-up message. However, do NOT waste time on the ones who don’t reply. This is why texting multiple women is so effective in attracting them. It gives men a genuine take-it-or-leave-it attitude. Attention is NATURALLY divided, and the girls you DO like will intuitively sense this.
Also, try to keep your messages as short as possible. This adds to the impression that you're a busy guy who is dividing his time between lots of people.
If your texts are fun, she'll feel that tiny spike of dopamine and will be more inspired to reply. After all, there are probably more cheeky messages on the way if she does. It's enjoyable!
If your texts are super-serious and logical, they create no emotional spikes. In this case, it'll feel like “work” to text you back. And she won't want to do it.
As a general rule, don't text anything that makes her have to think too hard. There’s no need to have a serious conversation with a woman you’ve just met. You need to show her that you're a fun person to communicate with. Otherwise, why would she agree to meet you for a date?
What happened to the playful little bastards we used to be as kids? We can bring out that same little boy that lies within us to tease, smile, and otherwise have a fun time with the girls we’re interested in.
Scenario: Meets girl on 9/13. 20-minute in-person conversation chatting away about the school’s campus, classes, professors, and her major in environmental biology. Numbers are exchanged. Texting ensues. Pay attention to the time stamps, playful statements, and references to the original interaction.
You: “Hello there. I’m the ass you met yesterday :)”
Time: 9/14 - 6:04pm
Her: “Oh hey”
Time: 9/14 - 6:15pm
You: “So you’re a bio dork, apparently.”
Time: 9/14 - 9:46pm
Her: “Haha, yeah.”
Time: 9/14 - 9:52pm
You: “Professor gave the class a C. Time for you to flirt with him.”
Time: 9/14 - 9:58pm
Her: “How about you flirt with him? Lol”
Time: 9/14 - 10:14pm
You: “Already tried. Give him a hug and tug and make us proud.”
Time: 9/14 - 11:25pm
Her: “Lol, you’re crazy.”
Time: 9/14 - 11:31pm
You: “Maybe. But you’re crazy if you think I’d accept a classroom C.”
BE AWARE: getting burned by not receiving replies is a part of the game. Even if a girl likes the messages she’s receiving, even if the interaction went well, and even if texting is on point, she still may not respond.
This is just a part of life, so there's no reason to take it personally. After all, you have no idea what's going on in her life. Maybe she got back with her ex-boyfriend. Maybe both her grandparents died in a freak horse-riding accident. There's no way of knowing! Sometimes women go radio silent for no reason, and that’s okay.
There's no reason to cry about it like a baby. In today's day and age, it's easier than ever for you to message several girls at the same time. There are literally dozens of online dating websites that give you instant access to thousands of women, so make the most of them! If you're interested in dating older women, take a look at our recommendations for the best cougar dating apps. If you want to more casual relationships, you can check out our list of the best hookup sites.
When you're simultaneously cultivating several romantic opportunities, you're less likely to become too invested in one particular woman. Most of the texting mistakes listed in this article come as a result of being over-invested.
When you're texting a woman, always remember the mental standpoint that you're the prize. Even if you're initiating the conversation, it's her that needs to impress you.
In a perfect world, you'll actually feel this way. Even if you don't, your texting should still always portray it.
From a higher meta-level, make sure to own the interaction, the girl, and the entire scenario. Pretend as if she’s already all over the attractive gentleman talking to her.
Any time there’s even a hint of doubt, remember the paradigm. Ask yourself: are you acting like the prize or just constantly worrying about how to get a girl to text you back?
The mind is stupidly powerful. The brain is a literal, biological quantum computer that harbors an entire universe inside of it. It can create any scenario desired, however desired, and whenever it’s desired. It’s amazing.
Instead of having it work against reality, take advantage of it by imagining being successful with women. Visualize and use as many of the 5 senses as possible. The most important component to all this is to make sure to FEEL successful.
It’s all about congruency; if a man is acting attractive, then a girl is going to feel attraction for him. It’s that simple. Do the visualization. Then let the subconscious mind do its thing. This may not seem relevant on how to get a girl to text you back, but trust me, it’s 120% relevant.
There are a number of reasons why it's good to tease women when you're texting back and forth.
The first reason is: it communicates that you believe you're on the same level of status as them.
When guys believe a woman is “out of their league,” they don't tease a woman because they're terrified of offending and losing her. Instead, they just pepper her with compliments, which soon becomes very one-dimensional and boring for her.
The second reason is: it shows her you're comfortable with her. After all, most groups of close friends spend a lot of time teasing each other. It's only really when two people are not that close that this doesn't happen at all.
Thirdly, it helps to reaffirm that you're the prize and she needs to prove herself to you.
And finally, teasing is funny when it's done in the right way.
The biggest obstacle to avoid when teasing a woman by text is accidentally offending her. You need to make it super-clear that you're just teasing and not insulting her. After all, it's easy to misread the tone of a message when it's only words on a screen.
You can do this by using exaggerations that are too bizarre to be taken seriously. Make use of wink or smirk emojis to make it obvious you're kidding. Even then, it's best to avoid any topics that she might be super-sensitive about.
It’s difficult to speak directly from the mind to create something that a woman would be attracted to, but once some of these experiences are lived from the first-person point of view, more and more doors to reality will be opened.
Have faith that everything will be okay, and it will. If she doesn't text you back there are some things you can do. Don't despair either way, there are always more options out there.