When you’re searching online for tips on how to get a girl to text you back, step in learning how to be a better texter. While women have so many reasons to stop texting someone (e.g. they’re busy, they forgot, something came up, etc.), you still want to improve your texting skills. After all, the more engaging you are, the more likely women will go out with you.
You’ll find a lot of info on how to text a girl that will make her reply ASAP. But a lot of them are based on neediness and sometimes borderline emotional blackmail. In truth, attraction is not based on anything but confidence. Unless you have the confidence that she finds attractive, your message will be on “read” forever.
Getting her to respond has nothing to do with looks. Half of my face isn’t missing, and I look nothing like Freddy-Kreuger-looking bastard. That means my looks are average at best. But I do a damn good job of picking up women who are physically “out of my league.” That’s partly because I know how to get a girl to like you over text.
Attraction for men is pretty static. Men find women either attractive or not attractive, depending on their taste. Women, on the other hand, can become more attracted or less attracted to men depending on how they interact. So if you want to learn how to talk to a girl over text in a way that will (almost) always get her to reply, here’s what you need to do.
How to Get a Girl to Text You Back: The Texting Codes of Success
Here are the most important things to remember if you want her to text you back:
Have a solid in-person interaction
This applies when you met a girl in the real world and not online. So if you’ve already met, consider this a precursor to a series of great text conversations until you meet again.
Just keep in mind that no amount of "text game" is likely to help you recover from a nervous, awkward in-person interaction. Approach her confidently. Make it clear you're attracted to her. Be fun. Give her space to chase you. Also, when you exchange numbers, make sure it's clear that you're doing so to arrange a date in the future.
If there's no chemistry when you initially approach a woman, she may still give you a phone number. However, there will be a negligible chance of getting her to reply even if you text her that you like her. It might not even be her actual phone number. Women are experts at giving away fake phone numbers to creepy men, just so they go away!
Get a girl to text you back by finding out what you can if you met online
Meeting women online is so easy these days, but that doesn’t mean every online interaction becomes successful. So if you’ve matched with someone online, try to get to know as much about her without actually asking her.
How do you do this? Well, first off, it’s not necessarily stalking. You can read her profile thoroughly and go through her photos. Her photos might reveal that she’s into dogs or that she travels or that she loves the outdoors. If her social media handles are there, take a peek at her profile and learn something interesting about her.
When you start off the conversation by mentioning something you know she’s into, you’ll increase the odds of her responding to you. That’s because she knows you took the time to actually check out her profile, and that always merits extra points!
Take a while to reply to her messages
Patience is a virtue when responding to her messages too. The longer the wait, the more she’ll wonder why the guy she met isn’t texting her back. She already has enough beta males texting her the same crap. So stand out by remaining aloof especially if she is already demonstrating some of the signs a girl likes you through texting.
Remember: Less is more. I typically like to wait an hour or two in between messages. Sometimes I’ll even take up to half a day. We recommend leaving at least leave as much time in between replies as she does.
Get a girl to text you back by avoiding questions
To increase the chances of getting a response: always make commands, and don’t ask questions when first getting to know each other. There’s something about asking a question over a text that, regardless of how it comes across in person, seems needy.
To get to know her, instead of asking a question about her hobbies, TELL her to tell you about her hobbies. For example, “Tell me about your hobbies” or “tell me about the best city you’ve been to.” This will seem shows more initiative. So adopting this same mentality will make it easier to implement more of a commanding personality that will get her to text you back.
Another effective alternative to questions is assumptions. For the hobbies examples above, you'd guess what she likes to do in her spare time. This is a fun way to find out more about her, which is more interesting than the same old “getting to know you” questions that most guys ask. Plus, it'll spark her curiosity. She'll often wonder what led you to make such an assumption and will therefore text you back to ask you.
Don’t double-text if you want a girl to text you back
Never send more than one message at a time at first. There's something so disgustingly needy about texting a woman again before she has even replied to your previous message. Keep that in mind too when you're planning on texting your ex!
You either come across as a guy with nothing else going on in his life--or a loser who's paranoid that she's ignoring you. The absolute worst situation is when guys text messages such as “pls respond” or “'hello??”
Women keep their phones on them 24/7. They’re practically harboring them as extensions to their hand. If she doesn’t respond immediately or at all, here’s a tip: SHE GOT THE MESSAGE. Rest assured, she reads all of her messages. If a woman is interested in the interaction, she’ll make time to reply to it.
If she doesn’t reply, let it go. Give it a few days because she might be genuinely busy or distracted.
Always be playful
If your texts are fun, she'll feel that tiny spike of dopamine and will be more inspired to reply. After all, there are probably more cheeky messages on the way if she does. It's enjoyable!
If your texts are super-serious and logical, they create no emotional spikes. In this case, it'll feel like “work” to reply. And she won't want to text back.
As a general rule, don't text anything that makes her have to think too hard. No asking about her lifelong goal or making her explain what she does at her job. There’s no need to have a serious conversation with a woman you’ve just met. Instead, go for something lighthearted and fun like her favorite anything: movie, band, concert experience, exotic food, whatever.
How to Talk to a Girl Over Text: An Example Conversation
Scenario: Meets girl on 9/13. 20-minute in-person conversation chatting away about the school’s campus, classes, professors, and her major in environmental biology. Numbers are exchanged. Texting ensues. Pay attention to the time stamps, playful statements, and references to the original interaction.
You: “Hello there. I’m the ass you met yesterday :)”
Time: 9/14 - 6:04pm
Her: “Oh hey”
Time: 9/14 - 6:15pm
You: “So you’re a bio dork, apparently.”
Time: 9/14 - 9:46pm
Her: “Haha, yeah.”
Time: 9/14 - 9:52pm
You: “Professor gave the class a C. Time for you to flirt with him.”
Time: 9/14 - 9:58pm
Her: “How about you flirt with him? Lol”
Time: 9/14 - 10:14pm
You: “Already tried. Give him a hug and tug and make us proud.”
Time: 9/14 - 11:25pm
Her: “Lol, you’re crazy.”
Time: 9/14 - 11:31pm
You: “Maybe. But you’re crazy if you think I’d accept a classroom C.”
What to Do If a Girl Doesn’t Text Back
A great question to ask yourself is: “what would a guy who is already dating 10 other girls do?”
As we’ve already established, the last thing you want to do is to come across as needy. This is a huge turn-off to women, and it might be the reason she didn’t text you back originally.
So, what would a man with 10 other girls on the books do if a girl doesn’t text back? Let’s explore.
Wait a few days
There’s no need to panic if she hasn’t texted back after a day, or even two. Life happens. Distractions occur. People forget to text back their Tinder matches.
Double-texting within the space of 24 hours is a clear sign that you want this girl a little too much, and you don’t have 10 other women hitting you up. The guy who is texting 10 other girls might not even notice that one particular woman didn’t reply to his message.
So, let your unanswered message sit for a couple of days. You never know, she might hit you up apologizing for not getting back to you sooner.
Send a ping text
A ping text is essentially a message you send to check that she’s still alive and everything is well. A computer sends a “ping” to its software constantly; you only need to do so after a couple of days of radio silence.
A great ping text doesn’t ask for a reply. It’s a short and simple statement, without any questions for her to answer. Ideally, it's a funny and engaging message, which communicates “I saw this and thought of you”.
The funnier and more personalised to her that this message is, the more likely she is to respond. Inside jokes, if you already have some, work wonders.
An example of a great ping text could be: “An elderly woman just queue-jumped me to buy a bottle of vodka. Harlem really is a unique place.”
Assuming you’re both from Harlem - or you’re from there and you two were talking about it previously - she’s likely to find this to be a funny and relatable message.
The text doesn’t have to be about yours or her hometown. It can be about anything unique to her that she’s likely to care about. If you can use “callback humor” to remind her of a funny moment from your last date, even better.
Ping texts don’t necessarily even have to be true. They just have to be funny and engaging, with no question at the end. You can have a few funny examples saved in your phone, so you never need to wonder what to text a girl again! If you can add pictures and videos, do so!
The great thing about ping texts is you can potentially send an unlimited amount of them without it looking too needy, because the text doesn’t need a response. You’re simply sharing funny stuff from your day. Perhaps you have to send three or four of these before you finally hook her attention. So be it...
Keep it short and sweet
Still wondering what to say when she doesn’t text back? Whatever you do say, keep it short and simple.
When you send paragraphs upon paragraphs of text, it comes across as needy, because you’ve clearly invested a lot of time to get that one person’s attention.
Would a guy with 10 other babes on the hook do this? Probably not.
So, get into the habit of removing the fluff and saying what you want to say in as few words as possible.
Make use of social media
It’s a great idea to add the girl you’re pursuing on social media and to encourage her to follow you back.
This way, she gets to see all the cool stuff that’s going on in your life without you having to actively send it to her.
Social media “stories” are like ping texts you send to every single girl you’re pursuing. And because you’re not sending them just to her, it doesn’t come across as needy at all.
So, get in the habit of filming a short video and posting it to your social media channels, whenever you’re out doing something interesting.
There’s probably no more effective way to get a girl to text you back than posting some awesome “stories” from a party she’s not invited to. In fact, you’ll probably get texts from loads of other girls that are following you too.
Learning to embrace flakes
BE AWARE: getting burned by not receiving replies is a part of the game. Even if a girl likes the messages she’s receiving, even if the interaction went well, and even if texting is on point, she still may not respond.
This is just a part of life, so there's no reason to take it personally. After all, you have no idea what's going on in her life. Maybe she got back with her ex. Maybe both her grandparents died in a freak horse-riding accident. There's no way of knowing! Sometimes women go radio silent for no reason, and that’s okay.
There's no reason to cry about it like a baby. In today's day and age, it's easier than ever for you to message several girls at the same time. There are literally dozens of online dating websites that give you instant access to thousands of women, so make the most of them! If you're interested in dating older women, take a look at our recommendations for the best cougar dating apps. If you want to more casual relationships, you can check out our list of the best hookup sites.
When you're simultaneously cultivating several romantic opportunities, you're less likely to become too invested in one particular woman. Most of the texting mistakes listed in this article come as a result of being over-invested.
Remember, you’re the prize
When you're texting a woman, always remember the mental standpoint that you're the prize. Even if you're initiating the conversation, it's her that needs to impress you (like if your ex texts you out of the blue).
In a perfect world, you'll actually feel this way. Even if you don't, your texting should still always portray it. You’re a great guy and you have a lot to offer. You don’t need her validation to feel secure.
Teasing to get a girl to text you back
There are a number of reasons why it's good to tease women when you're texting back and forth.
The first reason is: it communicates that you believe you're on the same level of status as them.
When guys believe a woman is “out of their league,” they don't tease a woman because they're terrified of offending and losing her. Instead, they just pepper her with compliments, which soon becomes very one-dimensional and boring for her.
The second reason is: it shows her you're comfortable with her. After all, most groups of close friends spend a lot of time teasing each other because it’s fun. It's only really when two people are not that close that this doesn't happen at all.
The biggest obstacle to avoid when teasing a woman by text is accidentally offending her. You need to make it super-clear that you're just teasing and not insulting her. After all, it's easy to misread the tone of a message when it's only words on a screen.
You can do this by using exaggerations that are too bizarre to be taken seriously. Make use of wink or smirk emojis to make it obvious you're kidding. Even then, it's best to avoid any topics that she might be super-sensitive about.
It’s difficult to speak directly from the mind to create something that a woman would be attracted to, but once some of these experiences are lived from the first-person point of view, more and more doors to reality will be opened.
Have faith that everything will be okay when a girl doesn’t text you back, and it will. If she doesn't text you back there are some things you can do. Don't despair either way, there are always more options out there.