Do you have a crush on a woman in your friend group? Maybe you’ve known each other for a while and you’re developing feelings for her. But you’re not quite sure if she likes you back because she might only see you as her friend. Then you need to learn how to create sexual tension to stop her from seeing you as “just a friend”!
Below, we’ll help you amp up your sexual chemistry so that the woman you like become attracted to you. Take a look at our tips and use them to turn your friend into a potential girlfriend. Who knows, if she can no longer deny her attraction to you, she might end up making the first crucial move!
How to Create Sexual Tension with a Female Friend
Don’t worry, falling in love with a friend is perfectly normal. Actually, a recent study has shown that friends make the best lovers. The researchers revealed that “investing in the friendship aspect of the relationship” improves love, sexual gratification and romantic commitment.
For this reason, the friendzone is not as bad as teen dramas from the 90s make you think. Instead, it may turn into an opportunity to build a strong, fulfilling relationship.
However, keep in mind that what distinguishes two friends from two lovers is sexual tension. Keep reading to learn how to build it, so you can leave the friendzone once and for all!
Create sexual tension when you're alone together
Around your mutual friends, it’s very unlikely that you’ll be able to build sexual tension. Find an excuse to spend some one-on-one time with her. For example, if you’re in a crowded bar, ask her to go outside for a breath of fresh air.
Alternatively, invite her to hang out with you rather than with the whole friend group. Remember to keep it casual at first to avoid the pressure of a “real” date. Do you both like sports? If this is the case, ask her to go for a jog together in the morning.
This way, she won’t be distracted from your advances by the prying eyes of other people she knows.
Show her that you’re interested in her
This is a crucial step to avoid the dreaded friendzone. Most of the time, women expect the man to make the first move. So, make it clear that you find her hot with sexy compliments and flirty touches.
The longer she’s been seeing you as “just a friend,” the slower you should progress towards actual flirting. If you’ve never shown sexual interest for her before, then you suddenly grab her butt, it will be very awkward!
Start by complimenting her outfit in an innocent way. Notice when she changes her haircut or makeup. Then gradually escalate towards expressing your appreciation for the sexiest parts of her body.
Get her to see you as a sexual person
Stop acting as the “nice guy” around her. We’re not saying that you should be rude, but don’t be afraid to tell funny sexual jokes and innuendos. This way, she’ll start to see you as a sexual being rather than a platonic cuddle buddy.
Always talk about sex in a positive and non-judgemental way. If she knows that you won’t consider her a slut, she’ll feel free to become incredibly naughty …
Only, avoid bragging about how many women you brought home during your last weekend away. This will kill the sexual tension rather than building it up!
How to create sexual tension with physical contact
The seduction experts always recommend starting with touching the woman in a friendly way as soon as you met her. This is the best way to make her accustomed to you touch, so you’ll be able to escalate towards caressing and kissing.
But, what if your love interest is someone you already know? Don’t worry: This powerful technique called kino escalation can still work.
When you’re with her, play games that involve touching her hands. Pretend that you’re a fortune teller and read her palm or play red hands. Also, give her high fives and pat her back whenever you have the chance.
When she’ll be accustomed to this kind of friendly touch, you’ll have to escalate very slowly towards something sexier. Hold her hand briefly while making eye contact, or put your hand on her knee. Then watch out for signs that she's horny!
Maintain strong eye contact with her
One of the best ways to create sexual attraction with a woman is through eye contact. To make your gaze more seductive, the dating expert Chase Amante recommends relaxing the muscles around your eyes.
He also says that you should deliver all your eye contact laser superpower into one of her eyes. In other words, choose one of her eyes and look at it. This way, your eye contact will feel incredibly intense.
However, remember to never look down: Amante warns that this gesture will make you look like a “beta” male. But if she looks down after eye contact with you, she’s definitely interested!
Another useful eye contact technique is the so-called “triangular gaze.” It’s used by many renowned pick-up artists and it creates great sexual tension. It involves looking first at one of the woman’s eyes, then at the other and finally at her lips.
Remember that the progression from looking to one spot to the other must be slow and sensual. If done correctly, it’s a great technique to use before kissing!
Be more confident
Here at Beyond Ages, we’ve said it countless times: Women are attracted to confident guys! Brett and Kate McKay, the founders of the popular webzine ArtOfManliness.com, have great advice to skyrocket your self-confidence.
First and foremost, they recommend that you start dressing better. “Does this mean you have to go metrosexual and lather yourself in creams? No”, say the experts. “It does mean to take time for a basic grooming routine and learning the basics of dressing appropriately.”
Find a style that suits your personality, and always wear clothes that actually fit your body. Wear a fresh and seductive scent, paying attention to never overdo it. Also, start exercising: There’s no better way to feel great in your own skin!
Lastly, the McKays advise that you try learning new skills, like a new language or martial arts. It helps to demonstrate to yourself that you’re always ready to adapt to new environments, boosting your self-esteem.
Creating sexual tension through text
When she’s not with you, learn how to create sexual tension over text and messaging apps. Make sure that your texts are short and witty, and pay attention to grammar and spelling. Avoid texting abbreviations. This makes you look boyish and immature.
Turning a woman on with words works both in real life and through text. So if you need help with that, check out our guide!
Don’t talk about your exes
In order to create a sexy vibe, try to keep the conversation playful and lighthearted. Even if you know her very well, avoid sensitive topics (like politics) that may distract her from flirting with you.
Another bad topic to discuss with a woman you want to seduce is your exes. If she keeps visualizing you with another lady, it will be very difficult to create sexual tension.
From the other side, don’t encourage her to whine about her selfish and possessive exes when she’s with you. She must see you as a sexy man and a potential lover, not as a shoulder to cry on! Following this piece of advice will keep the friendzone at bay.
Avoid being too available
If you’re already friends with the woman you’d like to seduce, chances are that you’ve been too available lately. Constantly texting her and always being available to discuss her problems is the fastest lane to the friendzone!
Don’t reply immediately to her texts—wait a few minutes instead. This will make you look like a person with a high social value, i.e., busy and with an active social life. In other words, she’ll start perceiving you as more attractive.
Keep in mind that you should never be available to discuss her problems with other guys she’s dating. This will make her see you as “just a friend,” which is exactly what you want to avoid.
Beware of oneitis
Oneitis is when you obsess over a woman without even knowing if she's into you. She could be the one that got away, your long-time crush or a woman who just has everything you want in a partner. But while this line of thinking might work in rom-coms, it's not going to get you far in real life.
When you pin all your romantic hopes and dreams on your friend, you end up doing everything you can to make her want you back. However, if she ultimately doesn't want you back, there is really nothing you can do.
So if you've been trying to tell your friend that you want her sexually or romantically but she's not interested in you, it's time to let her go. Get out there and meet other women. Focus on a hobby. Focus on self-improvement. Find other ways to find happiness because the happiness you pinned on her won't work out.
Now that you know how to create sexual tension with a friend, give these steps a try. Gradually escalate the touches and flirtation, and who knows where it can lead!