Why is it so important to learn how to build sexual tension with a woman? Dr. Jess O'Reilly, a renowned sexologist, recently explains that the human brain releases dopamine in anticipation of sex. For your dating life, this means that the seduction process can actually be as pleasurable as sex itself.
This is especially true for women, as they need more time and mental stimulation than men to become aroused. In other words, you’ll have to create sexual tension if you want her to jump in bed with you!
Additionally, if you don’t create the right amount of sexual chemistry right from the first date, you’ll likely be friendzoned soon after. This article explains how to avoid making this terrible mistake.
How to Build Sexual Tension with a Woman You Just Met
The good news is that you can start building chemistry and sexual attraction as soon as you meet a woman. Keep reading to learn how to make your next date sexier!
The importance of kino escalation
Think about when you first meet a hot babe and instinctively grab her hips. If done correctly, this can be great for building sexual tension. However, you must carefully time your moves to avoid putting her off.
To help with the correct timing of sensual touch, the pick-up artists have invented a technique called “kino escalation”. It consists of starting with short, non-sexual touches as soon as you meet the woman. Then, you can progress gradually to sexier forms of touch.
For example, when you first meet her, you can shake her hand or give her a friendly hug. During the evening, make sure that you constantly touch her in an innocent way, such as giving her high-five. This will make her accustomed to your touch.
Once she’s comfortable with high-fives and friendly hugs, you can try holding her hand or caressing her back. From this point onwards, you’ll be able to create amazing sexual tension. And soon enough you'll spot the signs that she's horny.
Other than practicing kino escalation, don’t be afraid to invade the woman’s personal space. Try to stay a little closer to her than you would to any of your friends. This simple technique will keep the friendzone at bay!
How to build sexual tension through eye contact
Eye contact is incredibly effective at creating sexual tension with a woman you just met. Your eyes are powerful enough to communicate the message that you’re not just another male friend, but a potential lover.
So, what are you supposed to do when locking eyes with her? Try looking directly at the bridge of a woman's nose, in between her eyes. He urges you to avoid shifting from one eye to the other because this makes you look insecure.
In addition, try to slow down the movements of your eyes and head. This makes eye contact more sensual and less intimidating.
Compliment her in a sexy way
All women love when a man makes them feel flattered. It's a great way to turn her on with words. To build sexual tension, you’ll have to praise the hottest parts of her body. Try making her feel incredibly sexy without coming on too strong to avoid killing the sexual tension.
The best way to achieve this goal is escalating, exactly as you would do for kino. Start with innocent compliments about her eyes or hair, then move to something sexier. Tell her that she looks great in her dress because it implies that you find her body very sexy.
Remember to always be tasteful, polite and discreet. Avoid vulgar language, as well as complimenting her boobs out loud right in front of her friends. This will embarrass her instead of turning her on!
Get yourself aroused too
The dating experts call this method “state transfer”. If you’re in a sexual state, she will sense it and will likely become aroused as well. Simply put, to create sexual tension, you’ll have to be turned on yourself!
If you’re attracted to her, this is very easy. When talking to her, focus on her sexiness, and on the things you’d do to her if you two were alone. Easy, right? This will make your body language become instantly sexier.
For example, your gaze will turn into “bedroom eyes” (one of the subtle signs she wants to sleep with you) and you may even find yourself moving closer to her. Since this technique requires almost no effort, it’s definitely worth trying!
Move her to a quieter area to build sexual tension even more
When she’s comfortable with friendly touches and compliments, it’s time to move her to a secluded part of the bar. Otherwise, you won’t be able to escalate further. Going to a more private space can make your touch sexier and create more tension.
Find an excuse to move her away from the prying eyes of her friends. You can look for a quieter table, saying that you want to talk in a place with less noise. You can also ask her to go out of the bar to get a breath of fresh air.
Without the social pressure she feels around people she knows, she will be ready to enjoy the sexual tension. It’s time to hold her hands, caress her body and even kiss her.
Pay attention to signs she wants you too
In the seduction community’s language, the IOIs are the subtle signals of a woman’s interest in you. When trying to create sexual tension, they’re very useful to understand if she’s comfortable or annoyed.
These are some signs she likes the buildup of sexual tension when you see the following:
- Her body is oriented towards yours, with her feet pointing at you.
- She touches her hair or re-applies makeup.
- She breaks eye contact by looking down.
- Even subtly, she tries to touch you.
- She caresses her neck, collarbone or other parts of her own body.
- She tries to improve her posture when she’s with you.
How to Build Sexual Tension when Dating Online
Dating websites and apps are becoming more and more popular. But are they really effective when it comes to picking up women?
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of different women in a few hours. For this reason, they’re especially suitable for those interested in casual sex.
To take advantage of the best dating apps, however, you’ll have to learn how to build sexual tension when dating online. If this is your goal, keep reading!
Try to stand out from the crowd
You know, a beautiful woman on a dating app receives dozens of lewd messages every day. To create attraction, and therefore sexual tension, you’ll have to demonstrate that you’re different from all the other guys on there. You can tell a woman that you want her sexually in a way that's actually sexy and not creepy.
Remember to always be confident, relaxed and positive. Women are there to chill out, not to listen to someone vent! Also, avoid writing all caps that, in internet slang, is equivalent to shouting.
Lastly, try to always write with correct grammar, with no texting abbreviations. Nothing kills the mood like spelling errors and an unintelligible alphabet soup!
Don’t reply immediately
Are you tempted to stare at your phone all day, texting her back as soon as you hear your phone buzz? If the answer is yes, keep in mind that this behavior doesn’t create sexual tension at all.
Texting back immediately makes you look needy, while women tend to be attracted to confident and “alpha” men. It may also give her the impression that you don’t have a very active social life, which isn’t that sexy.
The dating coach Meredith Golden, who writes dating app profiles for her clients, suggests to text your crush back in five minutes. She also recommends that you don’t spend too much time chatting with her on the app. Once again, five minutes is fine. After that amount of time, tell her that you’ve got a meeting but will be happy to chat again later.
Use flirty emoticons to build sexual tension
When dating online, obviously you can neither touch her nor turn up the heat with intense eye contact. However, you have a very powerful seduction tool right at your fingertips: emojis!
They make the conversation more fun and playful, which is very good for attracting a woman. But, if you use the right ones, they can also be flirty and seductive!
Here are the sexiest emojis of the smartphone world:
- The eggplant, that represents your penis.
- The peach, that represents a woman’s buttocks.
- The taco, that represents the female vagina.
- The lollipop, that hints at oral sex.
- The flame, that lets her know that you find her hot.
- The drops, that signal female arousal.
You can also use apps like Adult Emoji for Lovers, that make your chats even hotter.
With that, we’ve definitely covered all you need to know about how to build sexual tension with a woman. Don’t forget to put our advice into practice tonight!