Letting a woman know you desire her is a great way to get her aroused. Also, if you’ve been dating for a while, it makes her see you as a sexual person. In other words, it’s the secret ingredient to avoid the friendzone. So, want to learn how to tell someone you want them sexually without coming across as a perv? This is the guide for you.
Unfortunately, it’s easy to overdo it and scare her off sex rather than turning her on. Many inexperienced guys fall into the trap of bringing up sex too early or sounding overly aggressive.
To avoid making this common mistake, keep reading! We’ve definitely got you covered with advice from the best dating coaches.
How to Tell Someone You Want Them Sexually Without Embarrassing Yourself
First off, women don't want to feel like sexual objects; they want to be treated like sexual beings. For this reason, you’ll have to let her know that you also appreciate her personality, other than just her sexiness.
This applies even if you’re only looking for a one-night-stand. Even the most sexually liberated women want and deserve to be treated with respect!
Here are some tips to bring up the topic of sex in the right way. It's worth mentioning that you can skip this conversation completely if you met on the few sites and apps for finding hookups that are legit.
1. Compliment her
We live in a society where women feel constantly pressured to be sexier. They are bombarded with images of perfectly skinny models, which make them feel self-conscious about their own bodies.
That’s why they appreciate men who make them feel desirable. Tell her that you think her body is gorgeous, and that she looks great in her form-fitting dress. Compliment her even when she’s not looking her best, like when she wears gym clothes and no make-up.
As a natural consequence, she will know that you’re sexually attracted to her. If the attraction is mutual, this should be enough to keep the friendzone at bay.
2. How to tell someone you want them sexually by touching
Whether you're at your place or in a proven place for finding hookups with local women body language is one of the best ways to show a woman you’re attracted to her. Furthermore, touch is great to create attraction and sexual tension during a date. It’s the best ways to tell someone you want them sexually without actually saying it. Most dating experts refer to this phenomenon as “kino escalation.”
Everyone's kino escalation technique is different. However, they should almost always be done gradually to avoid awkwardness. After all, creating sexual tension pays off so much better if it's done slowly and deliberately. If you’ve just met a girl, it wouldn’t be appropriate to grope her, right?
Start with delicate, casual touches, like tapping her shoulders or poking her if she’s distracted. If she enjoys it, you can take baby steps towards sexier touches, like caressing her hair. This progression can happen over different dates or during the same night, based on the woman’s comfort level.
If you do this right and she's into you, you might start to see signs that she wants you sexually too!
3. Tell her a funny (and sex-related) story
Sexual innuendos and jokes are your best friends when it comes to telling a woman you desire her. They work as ice-breakers, setting a sensual and playful mood without awkwardness. It's a great way to build sexual tension, especially if you pull it off.
When on a date, find an excuse to tell her a sex-related story. It must be funny, but not about exes or women you previously dated. It could be that time you browsed the shelves of a female-friendly sex shop or discovered strawberry-flavored condoms.
Try to conclude your story with something along the lines of “I’d like to do it again with you.” This will let her know that you find her sexy. Also, it means that you’re committed to building an adventurous, healthy sex life with her. What woman wouldn’t want that.
Now if you don't have any fun sex stories, you can always ask her a few naughty questions that can get her to open up. Who knows what fun stories she's dying to share with you!
4. Create a comfortable setting
Remember to avoid bringing up the subject of sex in crowded places or around her friends. This will make her uncomfortable rather than desired! For the same reason, make sure to bring her to a private place before advanced stages of kino escalation.
Keep an eye on her body language, so you’ll know if she’s okay talking about sex or not. If you can tell that she’s uncomfortable, switch to another topic and try again later. The reason she’s not into sex talk probably has nothing to do with you.
To prevent embarrassment, let her know that you won’t judge her. Unfortunately, our society is very judgemental about women who love sex and aren’t afraid to ask for it. Make it clear that you will always respect her, even if she unleashes her wild side.
5. How to tell someone you want them sexually on the first date. Should I do it or not?
As with most dating-related advice, it all depends on the girl you're with. If you've already touched on the topic of sex before your date and she seems like she's up for it, then go for it! Use language that will turn her on and see how she responds.
However, if the girl you're on a date with seems a little hesitant and you haven't had any sexual conversations, save it for future dates. Make sure to keep tabs on your date’s reactions before bringing the conversation to a sexier level. This is also true when you start talking about sex online. You need to get a feel for the situation before you even mention sex or suggest that she come over.
How to Tell Your Partner You Desire Her
Most guys only worry about how to tell someone you want them sexually when dating. That’s a huge mistake! When you have a long term girlfriend, showing that you desire her is equally important. Otherwise, the romance and sexual attraction of the honeymoon phase will eventually fade.
Here are my tips for how to always make your lover feel desired, even if you’ve been together for years:
1. Initiate sex
Obviously, you don’t want to put pressure on your lady when she’s too tired because of family responsibilities. However, initiating sex from time to time can make her feel desired again, like when you first started dating.
Try doing it at unexpected times, like when she’s doing laundry or the dishes. Who said that you should only have sex in the bedroom? This will make her feel like she’s irresistible: You can’t even wait till the evening to get her!
On the other hand, remember to respect her if she declines your advances. You can just give her a sweet massage if she’s not on the mood for naughtier things. After all, the goal is not getting laid, but making her feel sexually desired!
2. Notice when she changes her look
Many long-term couples make the mistake of getting too comfortable in their relationship, and this includes skipping compliments. In the long run, your partner may think that you don’t desire her anymore. This is definitely not good for your sex life!
Don’t forget to compliment her when she gets a new haircut or wears a new outfit. Make it sound simple and spontaneous rather than cheesy. From time to time, you can also express how sexy she looks but in a tasteful way.
This behavior will also encourage her to take care of herself, so she’ll end up feeling more confident. This is very beneficial for your relationship: The more desirable she feels, the higher her libido!
3. Keep going on dates
Between kids, work and household responsibilities, it’s easy for a couple to forget making time for each other. But this won’t help at all to demonstrate that you desire her! Instead, show her that you care about the relationship by planning date nights, just for the two of you.
Date night doesn’t have to be expensive: A home-cooked meal will do the trick. Just make sure to treat it like a “real” date, showing up well-groomed and leaving the kids to a babysitter. She’ll appreciate the effort and very probably will want to thank you with an unforgettable night of sex!
Also, don’t forget to keep flirting, no matter how long you’ve been together. What’s the purpose of preparing a candle-lit dinner for your lover if you’re not going to seduce her?
4. How to tell someone you want them sexually by trying new things in the bedroom
To make your partner know that you want them sexually, you can suggest trying new sexual experiences with her. This way, she knows that you find her sexy and you admire that she’s adventurous in the bedroom. Also, it shows that you want to improve the quality of sex within your relationship rather than finding satisfaction elsewhere.
According to her personal tastes, propose watching an erotic movie together, or shopping for soft BDSM accessories. Don’t take it personally if she’s not into your idea, but simply propose something else that would be a better fit for your relationship.
Now that you know how to tell someone you want them sexually without awkwardness, your dating confidence will grow. You’ll be able to steer clear of the friendzone and to make your date feel super sexy. You might even spot some signs that she wants you sexually too. All you need is a little courage to make the first move!