There are a lot of opinions online around how to turn a girl on over text. Unfortunately, not all of those opinions and ideas will prove effective. The truth is, a lot of these suggestions try to overcomplicate things or worse. Some ideas try to treat it like a black and white process that can be repeated with every woman.
We’re talking about women here with complex feelings and emotions. You can’t just apply the same approach in every situation and expect the same outcome!
In this article, we’re going to take away all of this confusion and focus on what works. We’ll be going over five proven ways to generate sexual attraction with a woman over text.
Use these tips in your textual interactions with women both on your phone as well as online. Before we get to these methods, let’s be clear about the underlying purpose.
Texting a woman serves many purposes. Everything from simply getting to know her to building comfort and rapport, and of course, generating sexual attraction. Interestingly, the latter is a method that is commonly overlooked, even though it can be incredibly powerful when it’s done correctly.
Learning how to turn a girl on over text is a skill that will take some time and practice. Before we get into the five best ways to do this, remember it’s about much more than just getting her to like you.
For intimacy to happen, she has to be physically attracted to you and feel comfortable with you on a deeper level. It’s one thing for her to like you and feel comfortable having a drink with you. Going to your home and stripping down with you, on the other hand, takes more than basic comfort. This is something that will continue to build throughout your date(s), but it has to start over text.
In fact, we would go so far as to say that you should always be generating some sexual attraction with the women you meet through online dating. It’s the best way to get her to commit to seeing you in person.
Now that you know that sexually exciting a girl over text is more than just making her like you, we can get to talk about how. It’s not about sending the right text message or having the perfect line. More importantly, what matters isn’t what you say, but how you say it.
If you’re looking for some in-depth books to learn more check out these really good books on dating and attraction. Let’s move on to the first method.
We’ve chosen to start with what is perhaps the most important method. When learning how to turn a girl on over text you want to avoid the common mistakes.
When texting a woman, always strive to be unique and unforgettable. This is simply the best way to distinguish yourself and throw a curveball at her because most guys she talks to are one-trick-ponies.
For instance, while you may cover some “getting to know you” questions over text, you shouldn’t dwell on them, even if you met her online. Those questions are best saved for when you’re together in person. Until then, be distinct and avoid the boring, repetitive questions she’s tired of hearing.
Ask her to tell you three things: her favorite place, activity and drink. When she asks you the same in return, reply with 3 completely unexpected or interesting things.
As an example, you could say a lake house, attending wine tastings and a michelada. In regards to a place, a lake house isn’t a common reply like the gym, a bar or your home.
Many women love a wine tasting, so you can expect some points on this one for its romantic appeal. And a michelada is a drink that she will likely not have heard of. So she may ask about it, putting you in the position to introduce something new to her.
By doing this you’re making sure you avoid being boring, predictable or needy. It goes a long way.
No, this doesn’t mean you should ask for nudes. Start with something basic and feel it out from there. As a recent example, she mentioned something about buying a Christmas-themed coat for her dog.
I replied with something along the lines of “Okay, I definitely need to see a photo of this!”
It was a low effort request, wasn’t sleazy and was relevant to our conversation. 30 seconds later I get a photo of her on the couch with her dog in his new coat. That level of comfort is there and we’re now comfortable exchanging photos. Still no nudes but photos nonetheless.
Exactly how you reply isn’t something to overthink. What you should do, though, is send her a photo of something interesting when it’s relevant. Maybe you’re out for a run and see another dog in a hilarious outfit. It doesn’t really matter, you’re just making it normal for the two of you to exchange photos. Over time this can escalate as comfort continues to build.
I was texting with a girl I met online. I texted her first and we hit it off pretty well. Our conversation slowly started to incorporate innuendo and eventually all-out sexual comments. That night she asked for my Snap and I received a bunch of explicit photos. I didn’t ask for them, I just initiated the photo exchange and continued to build from there.
Not once have I asked for a nude photo and yet I’ve received hundreds. If the two of you are having fun together and you’re comfortable sharing photos, it’ll often develop very naturally.
Note that some women just aren’t into sending those kinds of photos and that’s okay too.
Confidence is a universally attractive trait. When you can get yourself into the habit of taking the lead in various situations this will go a long way.
This doesn’t mean you should follow the “pickup artist” advice of making demands and telling her what to do. Instead, it can be a series of small things like initiating plans and suggesting a time and place.
Taking the lead may not come naturally for you and if that’s the case, just start small. If you’re usually the type who says “I don’t mind what we do,” force yourself to be more assertive.
Think of somewhere you’d like to go that’s suitable and suggest it instead. It can be as simple as saying “Let’s go to X bar Thursday night, their cocktails are amazing. 7:00 work?”
That’s it. That’s all you have to do. It presents so much more confidence and is easier to deal with than uncertainty. Spending 20 minutes going back and forth trying to decide on a location is painful! Once she gets bored, you've basically failed at trying to turn a girl on over text.
I’ve even had several women comment on how refreshingly easy it was to spend time with me because of this. Be assertive, make those suggestions and enjoy your night out!
Want to know a quick and easy way to wind down a conversation and potential date? Make stereotypical small talk or, even worse, talk about yourself all the time.
It’s a trap a lot of guys fall into which is great news for you and I. It means even a slightly interesting conversation already sets you apart from her other options.
Rather than asking about what she’s studying or talking about the damn weather, get a little more creative. Keep the conversation light and interesting. Figure out what she’s interested in and make a point of exploring that with her.
Chatting about her obscure love of unicycles is a whole lot more engaging than how cold it is outside. By getting to know her, not only are you making for better conversation, but you’re also building a greater level of comfort. And that is the key to turning a girl on over text.
That comfort level has to be there before she can be truly turned on by you.
Last but not least, don’t let yourself come across as a clinger. You’re a calm, confident guy with an active social life and ambition.
As much as you might really want to be around her, don’t let that be your top priority. Hollywood tells us that doting on her is “romantic,” but in the real world, it’s kind of annoying.
If you start canceling plans to hang out with her and texting her every day wanting to see her it becomes a turnoff. Having been on the receiving end of this from women in the past, I can tell you it’s not fun to deal with.
Maintain your usual social life and figure out plans when you both have time available. Sometimes it’ll work out that you see her two days in a row. Other times you may not see her for two weeks and that’s fine too.
This comes back to the personality and image that you’re putting forward. You want to be that strong, confident guy. Strong, confident guys don’t cancel their social life and grovel for her attention!