It’s easy to turn a girl on over text. In fact, it’s so easy that many men fail at it because they overthink it!
There are a lot of opinions online around how to turn a girl on through text. Unfortunately, not all of those opinions and ideas will prove effective. The truth is, many of these ideas backfire because they don’t follow the three basic principles for spicing up any conversation with a woman over text: playfulness, boldness, and calibration.
When trying to arouse a woman over text, most men are either super vulgar or completely vanilla. Boring or creeps. They try to apply the same principles to every woman they text without first thinking if she likes them or not.
It’s such a shame because dating is much easier these days than before. You just drop a few good photos on some dating app, be kinda fun over text, and voila, you have a date. That easy.
In this article, we’re going to take away all of this confusion and focus on what works. We’ll be going over five proven ways to turn your date, wife or girlfriend on over text. Yes, you have to keep that spark alive even if she's already yours!
Use these tips in your textual interactions with women both on your phone as well as online. Before we get to these methods, let’s be clear about the underlying purpose.
You First Need Sexual Attraction to Turn a Girl On Over Text
Texting a woman serves many purposes. Everything from simply getting to know her to build comfort and rapport, and of course, generating sexual attraction. Interestingly, the latter is a method that is commonly overlooked, even though it can be incredibly powerful when it’s done correctly.
Learning how to turn a girl on over text is a skill that will take some time and practice. Before we get into the five best ways to do this, remember it’s about much more than just getting her to like you.
For intimacy to happen, she has to be physically attracted to you and feel comfortable with you on a deeper level. It’s one thing for her to like you and feel comfortable having a drink with you. Going to your home and stripping down with you, on the other hand, takes more than basic comfort. This is something that will continue to build throughout your date(s), but it has to start over text.
In fact, we would go so far as to say that you should always be generating some sexual attraction with the women you meet through online dating. It’s the best way to get her to commit to seeing you in person.
Like I said earlier, it’s all about calibration. Learning how to arouse a woman over text is easy – even for beginners. What’s harder to know, however, is when to do it and with whom.
I like boldness and expressing my sexuality… and I know that girls like these traits too.
However, sexualizing early on or with the wrong person – like a friendly neighbor – may sometimes backfire. Especially if you don't have enough experience.
The Dating Apps Dating Coaches Recommend For Casual Fun
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- Over 60 million active members
- Free trial to check it out
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Know When to Bring the S-word
Sometimes going all-in can freak the girl out, especially in a medium like text where you can’t visibly express your emotions. Sexualizing too early can be a huge turn-off to a girl and she may think you’re a creep.
So turning a girl on over text will largely depend on her blueprint, is she shy, wild, single, married (that’s a BIG no), never met you or slept with you before. The results of your texting attempts will vary accordingly, but they will still fall into one of three categories:
A Straight WTF
This happens when you haven’t built enough comfort and sexual tension with the girl.
She can be conservative, shy or just a colleague who doesn’t want to be called the S-word. In a nutshell, you have to make sure she likes you before trying to turn her on via text ….or she will be creeped out.
A Shit Test
Some girls will challenge your attempts to turning them on – also known as shit-testing you – and the result will depend on how well you respond.
If you fail, it’s a turn-off, and if you pass it, then the game is ON.
Shit tests are good because they mean she likes you but still making up her mind. If you handle it well, it will be the push over the fence she needs to be turned on.
Just like I did here…
Can you see the difference in her response before and after I passed her challenge?
I knew this girl likes me because we kissed before and I couldn’t pull for bad logistics. So blocking my attempt was a challenge more than “f*** off you freak.”
But like any challenge of this kind, you hold your ground, don’t apologize for your sexuality and maybe tease her a little bit. Most of the time the girl will fall into your frame and will instantly get turned on, as you can see in the previous example.
A Hell Yeah
Let’s first agree that most girls want to be turned on, especially if they already kinda like you. However, many girls won’t say it loudly so they don’t be called out by society or be seen as easy by the guy. So, it’s your job to make them feel un-judged.
For instance, it’s easy to sexualize over Tinder if your profile and bio say you’re in it for the P. You will probably get more left swipes than if you played it safe, but the ones who will swipe right on you will be down to it and will sexualize with you early on because that’s what they signed up for.
Try to tell a girl you’re sleeping with how much you like her horniness. Even if she objects at first, she will soon play into the role and you’d be surprised at how many times she’ll ask you for sex.
How to Turn a Girl On Over Text with 5 Strategies
Now that you know that sexually exciting a girl over text is more than just making her like you, we can get to talk about how. It’s not about sending the right text message or having the perfect line. More importantly, what matters isn’t what you say, but how you say it.
If you’re looking for some in-depth books to learn more check out these really good books on dating and attraction. Let’s move on to the first method.
1. Sometimes, you just gotta be good in bed first
It’s much easier to turn on a girl that you’ve slept with than a girl you just met on Tinder - assuming you gave her the time of her life, or something close to that.
If she saw you in action - and really liked it - then turning her on will be like flicking your bathroom switch on. In fact, she will be the one asking for more.
If she calls you King in the bedroom, then you don’t need much to turn the girl on over text.
Sometimes it’s as easy as sending her something like this…
If you have a problem turning on a girl over text after sleeping together, then it probably has something to do with your bedroom skills. So, if I were you, I’d worry more about improving those skills rather than showering her WhatsApp with eggplants.
But if you think you were an adequate lover and she still stopped replying, there are a few things you can do. Just remember that if she doesn't respond to you, it's not always about you.
2. Switch roles with her
Accuse her of trying to seduce you and you will arouse any woman over text. I used this tip over and over and this baby never failed me.
Women are used to being hit on by guys. So imagine how surprised she will be (and amused) if you turn her words against her and accuse her of coming on to you.
The process is simple…Wait till things are fun between you two then call her out for trying to sleep with you or ask you out.
I like doing this because it does three things:
- Turns on a girl that I’ve slept with
- Tells the girl I haven’t slept with that we can talk about sex (which paves the road to more flirtation)
- Filters out the uninterested ones: If she doesn’t like me, she’ll try to change the topic, and I will get the hint and save my time
P.s. I used too many emojis here - don't do that.
That’s an Instagram “model” who’s used to guys sliding into her DM and hitting on her whenever she goes. Accusing hot girls of seducing you will probably make them think, “who the F does he think he is… but I like it.”
Why? First off, the surprise. And second, because it tells her you can talk sex with no judgment, which will bring her guard down – partially or totally – and give you an entry point to sexualize later.
The main point here is to assume she's attracted to you.
If you assume that a girl likes you, there’s a good chance she will and you don’t need to memorize some silly lines from the internet to turn her on over text. Everything you will say will come naturally, and you will blow her mind.
3. Ask for her picture when trying to turn a girl on over text
No, this doesn’t mean you should ask for nudes. Start with something basic and feel it out from there. As a recent example, she mentioned something about buying a Christmas-themed coat for her dog.
I replied with something along the lines of “Okay, I definitely need to see a photo of this!”
It was a low effort request, wasn’t sleazy, and was relevant to our conversation. 30 seconds later I get a photo of her on the couch with her dog in his new coat. That level of comfort is there and we’re now comfortable exchanging photos. It's the low-key flirting strategy.
Still no nudes but photos nonetheless.
Exactly how you reply isn’t something to overthink. What you should do, though, is send her a photo of something interesting when it’s relevant. Maybe you’re out for a run and see another dog in a hilarious outfit.
It doesn’t really matter, you’re just making it normal for the two of you to exchange photos. Over time this can escalate as comfort continues to build.
I was texting with a girl I met online. I texted her first and we hit it off pretty well. Our conversation slowly started to incorporate innuendo and eventually all-out sexual comments. That night she asked for my Snap and I received a bunch of explicit photos. I didn’t ask for them, I just initiated the photo exchange and continued to build from there.
Not once have I asked for a nude photo and yet I’ve received hundreds. If the two of you are having fun together and you’re comfortable sharing photos, it’ll often develop very naturally.
Note that some women just aren’t into sending those kinds of photos and that’s okay too.
4. Be confident and take the lead
Confidence is a universally attractive trait. When you can get yourself into the habit of taking the lead in various situations this will go a long way.
This doesn’t mean you should follow the “pickup artist” advice of making demands and telling her what to do. Instead, it can be a series of small things like initiating plans and suggesting a time and place.
Taking the lead may not come naturally for you and if that’s the case, just start small. If you’re usually the type who says “I don’t mind what we do,” force yourself to be more assertive.
Think of somewhere you’d like to go that’s suitable and suggest it instead. It can be as simple as saying “Let’s go to X bar Thursday night, their cocktails are amazing. 7:00 work?”
That’s it. That’s all you have to do. It presents so much more confidence and is easier to deal with than uncertainty. Spending 20 minutes going back and forth trying to decide on a location is painful! Once she gets bored, you've basically failed at trying to turn a girl on over text.
I’ve even had several women comment on how refreshingly easy it was to spend time with me because of this. Be assertive, make those suggestions and enjoy your night out!
5. Stories, stories, stories
Girls are thirsty for good stories. If you want to turn her on via your texts, then you gotta be good at telling good stories.
Always ask yourself: “how can I make this dirty?" And your mind will do the work.
Just like Joey
I once had a girl come over four days after Women’s Day, and my line looked like this:
Me: You know when’s my Bday?
Her: yes baby, 10/2
Me: But we always celebrate it four days late
Me: That what we do back home..always late
Me: Was thinking we should celebrate tomorrow… Women’s Day was 3 days ago, you know 😛
*insert a dirty spanking meme*
But whatever, I might hit the library
I don’t know how I came up with this. I just try sexualizing things. People were celebrating women’s day earlier that week and it happened that my birthday is four days before the national holiday, so things connected somehow and I came up with that.
You too can come up with even better stories if you just try to get a little bit dirty and connect things together.
How to Turn Your Girlfriend on Over Text
This is really easy.
There are so many things to do to turn your girlfriend on over text. I like to divide this process into two phases: the pre-game and the text game. The pregame is what you do in bed. And no, I’m not just talking about making love. I’m also referring to some fun verbal games you can do with your girl when at the times when she’s super receptive – aka after a good long orgasm.
Some of these games are:
1. Naming her body parts
Give funny and famous names to her body parts. That kills boredom and gives you probes to use when you’re texting her.
I once mapped out how the Nazis attacked Europe on a girl’s body. Since then, every time someone says “Vienna” in front of us she cracks out, looks at me and gets turned on because that’s what we called her most sacred part.
We even used it as a probe for later. Like,
You: “It hasn’t rained in Vienna in a week. Kids are thirsty over there. That’s bad”
Her: “Yeah, let’s do it for the kids”
Definitely one of the best ways to get a girl horny over text.
2. Veni, Vidi, Vici
I came, I saw, I conquered – Julius Caesar
Write a fun quote on her body – using just your finger - the next time you sleep together. Write the same quote every time till it becomes synonymous with your fun time together. You can use that quote later to make fun and turn the girl on over text.
You: Reminds you of something?
Her: Yes (blushing emojis)
You: Lol, I was just talking about Caesar
This is one of those classic lines you can use when you text her in the morning (preferably if you were together the night before).
3. The Sandwich
You can turn her on over text by just referring to the things you do together in bed. This strategy is perfect for texting her after you hooked up. Did you spoon her yesterday or sent her to moon-7 with your tongue last week?
I must keep it clean so I don’t upset Google, but if I’m eating her out I often say something like, “If that was a sandwich, they’d call it McP***y.” Later, I can text her something like, “Heading to McDonald’s for some McP****. Do you think they still have it?” 😛
This will turn the girl on in a second.
4. Sexy questions
Playing 21 questions keeps things spicy in the bedroom. Even if she's already your girlfriend, you still want to know some stuff about her, right? So why not ask her one of these sex questions to ask a girl to turn her on. It's the fastest way to turn storytime into sexytime.
How to Arouse a Woman Fast
She probably has to be your girlfriend, wife or someone who’d slept with you to be able to turn the girl on fast.
Because speed and seduction don’t often work together.
So I’ll assume that the girl you want to turn on over text has seen you naked and that your goal is just a quickie with no much hassle.
To do this, you will need to level up your humor a little bit.
And no, you don’t even need to take improv classes to arouse a woman over text. Just a few good dirty memes on your phone will do the job for both of you.
This dirty meme collection works pretty well for me... Use it and thank me later.
Finally: To Turn Her on Over Text, You Have to Take it easy
Last but not least, don’t let yourself come across as a clinger. You’re a calm, confident guy with an active social life and ambition.
As much as you might really want to be around her, don’t let that be your top priority. Hollywood tells us that doting on her is “romantic.” But in the real world, it’s kind of annoying.
If you start canceling plans to hang out with her and texting her every day wanting to see her, it becomes a turnoff. Having been on the receiving end of this from women in the past, I can tell you it’s not fun to deal with.
Maintain your usual social life and figure out plans when you both have time available. Sometimes it’ll work out that you see her two days in a row. Other times you may not see her for two weeks and that’s fine too.
This comes back to the personality and image that you’re putting forward. You want to be that strong, confident guy. Strong, confident guys don’t cancel their social life and grovel for her attention!