If you’ve just started dating a woman and you’re into her, she might be the first thing on your mind when you wake up. Naturally, you want to message her but does that mean you should? If you did, would you know what to text a girl in the morning?
This can be a bit of a tricky subject so in this article, I’ll be going over a few principles to help you figure it all out.
You’ve gone through the work of finding a woman -- perhaps on one of our top-reviewed hookup apps and websites list. You’ve gotten her interested enough to snag her number. Now, you’re sitting there on your bed trying to figure out how to be suave. It’s tough, man.
The reason it’s tough to figure out what to text a girl in the morning is the impression it can give. There’s a fine line between ‘I’m thinking about you’ and ‘you’re all I think about’.
If you’ve only just started dating her, you really need to stay away from the latter. Time to start differentiating.
I don’t often start a how-to article by talking about what not to do but this is a big one.
In the words of Rae Witte, “A ‘good morning’ text is the 2018 equivalent of a Facebook poke: lazy, unimaginative, and sometimes even creepy.”
Lazy, unimaginative and creepy are all words that you want to distance yourself from, I assure you. Sure, this type of message will always be coming from a good place. You want her to know that you’re thinking about her and that’s great but it doesn’t send the message you think it does.
It sounds pretty obvious and logical, right? The trouble is, when feelings and emotions start to develop, sometimes logic goes out the window. Even worse, it happens without us realizing it.
If you’re really starting to fall for her, you might even feel pressured to message her in the morning. Like you have to find something to say each day.
Perhaps you’re taking cues from Hollywood and want to make her smile every morning as she wakes up to a thoughtful message. Unfortunately, Hollywood’s depiction of romance is a terrible source for dating advice. In reality, if you’re still in the phase of getting to know each other, it’s unlikely she’ll think it’s as charming as you intended.
In fact, I’d even say it’s most likely to come across as clingy. So how do you avoid this trap? Only message her if you actually have something to say.
Think about it this way. You have a bunch of contacts saved in your phone. Chances are, you message none of them first thing in the morning because you have nothing to say, right? This shouldn’t be any different.
The better you can be at developing this self-control, the more cool, calm and confident you’ll appear. Now those are three words that you do want to associate yourself with.
How many times have you received a marketing email that’s trying to sound personalized but didn’t quite hit the mark? Maybe it started with “Hi [name]” instead of your actual name or perhaps it was some other detail that just wasn’t right.
Maybe it’s my marketing background but there’s something about that failed attempt at sincerity that gets me. Like they’re pretending it was written just for me but didn’t put in the effort to be convincing.
That same cheap feeling is exactly what you’ll give her with a generic-sounding message. Like you’ve just copy/pasted the same one to 12 other women rather than just her.
Luckily, avoiding it is easy enough. Just keep the message personal. Ask something about her or make reference to a previous conversation you’ve had. Maybe mention something that you know she’s doing today.
There’s no perfect message for you to send. This is perhaps another reason figuring out what to text a girl in the morning can be so challenging. Let’s just say there’s a very big difference between “hey, I hope you slept well. Have a good day!” and “Good luck on your exams today! Are you out celebrating tonight?”
One sets you up for a date and the other just sounds like you’ve been watching her sleep.
You might think these are things to steer clear of but I’d have to disagree with you there. They’re all mediums that we use and can relate to. If anything, it’s going to make the conversation feel more normal and natural.
Again, that doesn’t mean you should go hunting for a GIF every morning. If you think of something funny and relevant though, don’t keep it to yourself -- she’ll probably get a laugh out of it too.
The aim of any conversation starter is to have you both engaged and this is a simple way to do it.
Okay, time to give you a few examples that I’ve used so you have an idea of what it can look like. There’s no perfect template so while you can use these examples initially, get creative and experiment!
We’ve also gone a little more in-depth on how to keep your text conversation going. Which can be the next step for you.
“So I just heard about a wine bar downtown I’ve never been to. I thought, I like wine, Kylie likes wine . . . we should go drink wine at this place and pretend we know what we’re talking about.”
This is something that works very well for me. The informal “this sounds fun, we should go do it” approach is casual enough that it’s easy to deliver. It also comes across as a random idea (because it is) so she doesn’t feel like you’re putting too much pressure on the whole thing.
We have a great article and even a helpful video about how to ask a woman out if you find the topic intimidating. It can be tough until you’ve done it a few times.
“Know how we were talking about the joys of Tinder the other day?” [Link to a funny satirical Tinder article, meme, GIF etc]
This one is all about relevance. There isn’t much to it besides continuing a previous conversation. Assuming whatever link or image you send is funny and relevant, it’s sure to kick off an easy conversation.
“You said you were tired of clingy guys on Tinder . . . so I just wanted to text you and say good morning! Am I doing it right?”
If you’re going to go with something like this, be cautious with it. It fits with my sense of humor but I’d only use it with a woman that knows me well enough for that. It’s mildly amusing when she knows it really is just a joke. It’s off-putting if she can’t tell.
“Actual footage of me walking to my car this morning:”
There isn’t much to explain with this one. I used this on a boiling summer day. Essentially it’s making a cheap joke while also establishing something we can both complain about.
As a general rule I like to keep conversation positive but hey, I don’t handle the heat well, okay?
“Kylie I have an important question for you. Soft, hard or scrambled? It’s a breakfast emergency and I don’t know who else to turn to.”
Again with my goofy sense of humor but hey, this is all about adding your own personal style to it. I actually used this exact message once and it quickly led to a lot of fun banter which flowed into the next date.
In all fairness, I did send this at about 1:00 pm which made it even more amusing. It’s still an effective -- albeit random -- message at a normal breakfast time too.
As you can see from my examples, there’s no need to go putting a lot of thought into this. Texting a woman you’re dating is meant to be fun at any time of day.
The more you can learn to relax and just have a conversation with her, the easier it gets.