Whether you’ve been dating for a while or you’ve just met, knowing how to make her want you might seem hard. You’ll actually be surprised at how simple it can be once you look at it with the right mindset.
This article is all about giving you simple, actionable ways to achieve exactly that. With a bit of courage and some practice, you’ll know just how to make her want you badly. Better yet, you’ll start doing these things without even noticing.
Figuring out how to make her want you badly isn’t that complicated really. Whether the woman you’re interested in is a friend, someone you saw at a grocery store or a woman you swiped right on, there are number of things you can do.
Here it is again -- confidence making its way to the top of a ‘how-to’ dating article. Why? Because confidence is the key to everything. Learning how to make her want you is no exception.
The reason it’s so important to every element of dating is that it’s a trait considered universally attractive. No matter who you are or what your preferences may be, increasing your self-confidence will help you out a lot.
It’s one of the reasons we created our extensive video dating course. It’ll teach you how to boost your confidence and not worry about rejection -- two things you absolutely have to have when learning how to make her want you.
Ever been at the bar with your buddies and noticed a woman when she walks in? I mean . . . really noticed her? Chances are, it had a lot to do with how she was dressed.
Even if she was just wearing jeans at a t-shirt, if they fit well and work together, then she looks good.
This same concept applies the other way around too. No need for your best suit and tie combo all the time. Instead, just make sure whatever you’re wearing is clean, ironed and compliments your body well.
I’m going to repeat this part because it gets overlooked far too often and it kills me. Gentlemen, iron your damn shirt.
Dressing to impress helps you in a couple of ways. Firstly, it’ll boost your confidence even further because when you look good, you feel good. Second, you do look good and she’s going to notice that extra effort you put in. Women love a guy who looks after himself.
If you’re unsure what looks good on you, grab a well-styled friend or an employee at a name-brand clothing store for some help.
Okay, so you’re out, you’re looking and feeling fantastic. It’s time to put that energy to good use.
Now isn’t the time for being a wallflower. Whatever the situation you’re in, be present and participate. Better yet, go ahead and take charge.
Don’t be afraid to make decisions and suggestions, share interesting or funny stories. This gives her a reason to really start paying attention to you and it has ‘confident’ written all over it.
From there you can really work with that attention. You can physically move closer to her and start to engage one-on-one. As things progress, stick with that momentum and escalate when the time feels right.
If she seems comfortable being closer to you and is still engaged in that one-on-one conversation, now is the time. Offer to go get another drink together or suggest heading somewhere else.
The more forward you are with her from this point, the better things will turn out.
When she’s responding positively to you and the flirting is reciprocated, this is the next step. Start with a gentle and brief touch on the elbow or arm and work from there.
Pay close attention to how she reacts. It’s going to tell you so much about how she’s feeling. If you lean in to show her something on your phone and your shoulders/legs are touching, what does she do?
If she leans away slightly or seems hesitant, give her a bit more time to get comfortable with you. On the other hand, if she stays right there, leans in toward you or pauses to smile at you, that’s a green light!
From this point, feel it out (no pun in intended) and keep escalating at a pace that makes sense. In some situations, that means finding a quiet place to kiss minutes later. Other times, light touching is as far as it’ll go for now.
Whatever the outcome, remember that it’s okay. Better to go ‘too slow’ than to force it and have her running for the hills.
One thing’s for sure, those first moments of touching are exciting. You both know what it means and if she’s into it too, it’s a huge step in knowing how to make her want you.
Touching her is a great way of doing this but you don’t want to take any chances. If she’s a little on the shy side, there may be a part of her that’s overthinking things too.
Maybe she’s unsure if you touching her really meant something or if it was accidental, for example. So, follow it up by letting her know in other ways too.
Let her know what you appreciate about her. To make it even more clear, you can follow that up with just a moment of extra eye contact. It might not sound like much as you read this but I assure you, when you do it, the message is clear.
As an example, I was out with a few friends last week. One of them mentioned in our Snapchat conversation that afternoon that she was going to try red lipstick for the first time.
When we arrived, the interaction went like this:
Me: “Kayla! Rocking the red lipstick, I like it.”
Her: [Shy glance away] “Thanks”
Me: “It looks good on you.” [Big smile and a moment of extra eye contact]
Her: “Oh, you like it that much, huh? I guess it’ll have to stay.” [Sly grin before looking me up and down]
As you can see from this example, exactly what you’re talking about doesn’t matter. As long as the compliment is genuine, everything else is in the delivery.
When you can combine this type of flirting with touching as well, you’re making it clear you want her. This alone will get her thinking about you in the same way.
Coming across as needy or desperate is the best way to ruin that confidence you’ve been working on.
If things are going well you might get excited and start to get invested in her. That’s fine (normal, even) but keep a lid on it. Start talking about meeting her parents or going on a big vacation together on day one and you’re going to have a bad time.
If it’s still early days for the two of you, keep any future plans to the immediate future and low-key. Talking about getting coffee next Wednesday is perfectly okay. Talking about a three week road trip together nine months from now. . . the thought of that conversation even makes me uncomfortable.
What’s the point in learning how to make her want you if you can’t tell when she does, right?
Some of these signals can be subtle and easy to miss if you aren’t paying attention. You’ll be pleased to know that a lot of these signs are similar to the points in this article.
The way she’s dressed, how she looks at you and what she wants to talk about are all important here.
For a more detailed look, I wrote all about how to tell if a woman is horny recently. It’s well worth reading when you’re done here.
That’s all there is to it. So long as you’re willing to put yourself out there the first few times, you’ll pick it up so quickly.
Within a month or two, you’ll start to notice that you’re doing these things intuitively. From there, experiment and see what works for you. Everyone has their own style and flare and this is where you get to develop yours.