Your written profile is gold mine of opportunity. A lot of guys overlook it. Here's why you shouldn't, plus 25 easy ways to take advantage of it.
Q: "Why should I spend a lot of time writing my profile? It seems girls only care about messages."
You’re right: good first messages (that start conversations) are absolutely critical in online dating.
Except when girls get a great message, it doesn’t mean we immediately hit Reply. First, we look at your profile.
Your great first message tells girls to give your profile a shot. What you write about yourself is the final word on whether we reply.
"So my written profile actually seals the deal?"
Yes! Your profile tells girls you’re a fit for us in personality, lifestyle, and sense of humor. Basically, that we’ll like hanging out (and making out) with you.
When we see you have a great profile, we get extra psyched that you wrote us that great message. Now we want to immediately reply to your message before another girl snaps you up!
"What should I write to make her want to reply?"
This article has specific profile tips for your long-game.
In short, the trick is using lots of detailed self-description, and avoiding general descriptions (like “fun-loving” and “active”). Using examples from your life is the best way to do this.
Instead of listing general characteristics (like “active”), ask yourself Why? What? or How? to get to the specific details:
- Why would you describe yourself that way?
- How do you back that statement up in your everyday life?
- What it is that you do?
- Why do you do it?
You’ll stand out from other “active” guys when you answer those questions with something specific, like:
“I run a couple miles every day after work. It really clears my head. Zombies, Run! is the best.”
When you use that extra detail, you create common ground and conversation-starters.
For example, that statement above could hook girls who also run to clear their minds, or use the app, or have heard about the app but want to know what you think…or girls who have no idea what zombies you’re talking about and now want to ask you about it!
"What else should I write about to stand out to girls?"
Here are prompts to create conversation-starter specifics in your profile:
1. What do you live to do on the weekend?
2. Describe your ideal Sunday morning.
3. What was the last concert you went to? What did you think of it?
4. What are your short-term goals for yourself this year?
5. What personal qualities make you especially good at your job?
6. What do you like best about your family?
7. What’s your favorite thing to do with your best friend?
8. What aspects of yourself are you most proud of?
9. What activity or moment makes you happy to be alive?
10. What have you worked hardest to achieve in your life?
11. Outside of work, what do you spend the most time doing?
12. What do you wish you did more often?
Remember: also answering Why? What? or How? to these questions gets you those deeper details that girls love.
13. Look at that list of the six things you couldn’t live without. Explain why you couldn’t live without them. It doesn't have to be long and elaborate...
This guy does a nice job of quickly adding some extra personality:
14. What’s one long-term goal you have for the next five years?
15. What characteristics do all your friends have in common?
16. What are you most thankful for this year?
17. What life experiences have shaped you the most?
18. What’s the best movie you’ve seen recently? The worst?
This guy follows that up by answering What? and creates a bunch of conversation-starters:
19. Describe how you’ve been shaped by a person who is important to you: a professor, your nephew, a boss, your grandfather, etc.
20. What are you looking forward to most next month? (If your profile remains active past that event, then revise it to describe the experience you just had – and pick something new you're looking forward to.)
21. What games do you like to play with your friends? (Cards Against Humanity, Catan, HORSE, WOW, DDR – whatever. It’s all good.)
22. What’s your favorite thing you know how to cook?
23. What do your friends ask you to handle at parties? (Beer selection, the music, loosening up guests when they first arrive, etc.)
"I want more ideas!"
24) Be really random:
Being a little random and irreverent can be good. You don’t have to take every question seriously. Let your sense of humor come out! As long as you don’t make a joke out of every question, girls will eat that shit up.
25) Make a list.
Freestyle it for a little bit, listing anything you can think of that you enjoy. You’ll stumble upon some unique facts about yourself! Plus, girls who love the same things will instantly feel the sense of connection.
When I read a list this good, I want to marry it and have its babies:
Basically, as Amelie taught us, there’s something so delightful about an obscure list of things you enjoy.
"How do I know when to stop?!"
A couple of these prompts (for each section on your profile) are more than enough to let your true personality shine through.
Just pick a few that show your sense of humor, some deep thoughts, and what gets you psyched.
Anytime you explain what makes you tick, you’re assuring the right girl that she really wants to reply to your awesome first message.
Don’t be surprised when your inbox blows up.