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The Best Usernames for Online Dating

Woman using a dating app on her phone
Hi Em, What is the best username strategy for online dating? I want her to notice me! I usually use my first name but some sites didn’t recommend that. Any suggestions? Thanks!

– Tom

Tom, you’re in good company: tons of guys have asked me about the best kind of username to use for dating sites.  The honest answer is that it doesn’t matter very much!

One caveat: as long as your username is not overtly sexual.  No DirtySpiderman69 or GiganticManMeat4U, please!

Truly, in the process of online dating, girls are barely noticing your username, let alone judging you by it.  So, what IS she noticing when she comes across you online, either in her inbox or her search results?

This is what really matters in online dating:

  • Your main profile picture. Here’s how to make it – and all your photos – exactly what she wants to see.
  • Your first message. Here’s how to write a great one.
  • Your profile. Here’s how to write an online dating profile that feels true to you and does you justice.
  • Your match percentage. Yes, this matters!  More about how this specifically affects your messaging strategy in my eBook Get the Green Light.

Spending your time coming up with a good username is nowhere near as critical as taking the time to choose great pictures, write great first messages and a great profile, and find the women who are the best fit for you.  That's where your energy is best spent.

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If you really, really still think a “good” username matters in online dating, then come up with one that tells women something about you before they even click on your profile, like:

  • Your first name or a nickname others call you (it’s totally fine to use your first name, Tom! In fact, it could work to your advantage because it will make you feel more familiar to the girls you’re messaging!)
  • Your job
  • Your interests and hobbies
  • Usernames with a little bit of information about you enable you to make a slight connection with a girl before she clicks on your profile.

The Bottom Line:

Your username is NOT a big deal! A "perfect" username for online dating does not exist. Tom[your zip code here] is perfect!  Don’t sweat it beyond that.  Save your time and best efforts for writing a great profile and first messages that make her want to reply!


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