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Why People Seek Casual Sex in 2025
The appeal of casual sex? Oh, it’s been around forever—way before I started overthinking everything—but the why behind it keeps shifting. These days, it’s less about sticking it to the man and more about grabbing some freedom, convenience, and a little “me time” in a world that won’t slow down. Life’s a whirlwind—work’s crazy, travel’s a hassle, and who’s got energy for the whole “relationship” thing? Casual encounters swoop in like a superhero, satisfying those physical needs without tying emotional knots. And with apps like Tinder bragging about 10 million daily users swiping away, the hookup options feel endless. Terms like hookups, no-strings-attached, and flings are buzzing everywhere, painting a picture of a culture that’s all about keeping things loose. Whether you’re chasing a quick one-night stand or setting up a chill friends-with-benefits deal, figuring out why you’re into it can totally steer how you play the game.
My First Stumble Into the Casual Scene
I’ll be real with you—my first dip into casual sex was a mess. I’d just moved to a new city, didn’t know a soul, and thought, “Hey, why not try this no-strings-attached thing everyone’s raving about?” I downloaded Tinder—because, duh, 10 million people can’t be wrong—and swiped like my life depended on it. Matched with this guy who seemed cool, and we met up at a dive bar. Big mistake: I didn’t set the vibe right. I rambled about my job, my dog, my whole life story—basically turned a fling into a therapy session. He ghosted me after, and I don’t blame him. Lesson learned: casual isn’t about oversharing; it’s about keeping it light. Now, I stick to a flirty “Hey, I’m just here for fun”—sets the tone and saves the awkwardness.
Freedom’s the Name of the Game
What keeps pulling me back to casual sex? Freedom. I love that I can dip in and out without someone texting me “where you at?” every five minutes. Life’s hectic—I’m juggling deadlines, side hustles, and trying to remember to water my plants. A committed relationship? That’s like adding a second job. Casual encounters let me scratch that itch without the baggage. I’ve got friends who feel the same—one’s a nurse who works doubles, another’s a freelancer hopping cities. We all crave that convenience—a quick hookup that fits our schedules, not the other way around. It’s not selfish; it’s practical.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
Check this out: a survey from Psychology Today found 60% of adults have had a one-night stand at least once. That’s wild, right? And with dating apps exploding—think Tinder, Bumble, even niche ones like Feeld—the casual sex culture is basically mainstream now. I’ve seen it myself. My buddy swears by Bumble for quick meetups after work, says it’s like ordering takeout but sexier. The stats back him up: flexibility’s king, and people want options that don’t chain them down.
Self-Expression (and a Little Confidence Boost)
Here’s a confession: casual sex isn’t just about the physical for me—it’s a confidence thing too. There’s something empowering about owning your desires and going for it. I used to feel weird about wanting a fling—like, “Am I allowed to just want this?” But after a few hookups, I realized it’s my call. One time, I met this artist at a party—total vibe, zero expectations. We clicked, had fun, and parted ways with a high-five. No drama, just two people expressing themselves. It’s not rebellion like it was for my punk-phase cousin in the ‘90s; it’s about saying, “This is me, and I’m cool with it.” That self-expression piece? It’s why so many of us keep coming back.
Tips to Nail Your “Why”
If you’re new to this, here’s my advice: figure out your why before you dive in. Want a quick stress-reliever? Cool—hit up a hookup app and keep it simple. Craving a recurring friends-with-benefits gig? Find someone who’s on the same page (and don’t skip the “are we exclusive or nah?” chat). I flubbed this once—thought a guy was down for casual, but he started leaving toothbrushes at my place. Yikes. Be upfront with yourself first, and the how-to-find-it part gets way easier.
Quick Cheat Sheet: Matching Your “Why” to Your Approach
Your Why | Best Move | Pro Tip |
---|---|---|
Stress relief | One-night stand via Tinder | Keep chat short and flirty |
Ongoing fun | Friends-with-benefits setup | Set boundaries early |
Confidence boost | Casual meetup at a bar | Smile, own it, no overthinking |
So yeah, the reasons we chase casual sex in 2025 are all over the map—freedom, convenience, a little self-love sprinkle. For me, it’s been a journey of trial and error, from awkward bar flops to swaggering out of a hookup feeling like a champ. Whatever’s driving you, own it. That’s half the fun.
Top Apps and Websites for Finding Casual Sex Near You
Technology has seriously flipped the script on the hookup game. Forget those cringe-worthy bar pickups where you’re yelling over loud music and hoping for the best—these platforms bring the action right to your phone, and honestly, I’m here for it. Whether I’m swiping on a lazy Sunday or scoping out a late-night vibe, these apps have become my go-to for finding casual sex near me. Let me walk you through my faves—warts and all—because I’ve had some wins, some flops, and a whole lot of lessons along the way.
Tinder – The Classic Swipe King
Tinder’s still the big dog in the pack, and I get why—it’s the swipe-right-for-yes simplicity that hooks you. It’s not just for dating anymore either; I’ve learned to tweak my bio to scream no-strings-attached—something like “here for a good time, not a long time” works like a charm. The location-based magic means I’m matching with folks a mile or two away, which is perfect when I’m too lazy to trek across town.
My Tinder Triumph (and a Rookie Mistake)
First time I used Tinder for a hookup, I totally botched it—swiped right on everyone and ended up with a flood of “hey cutie” messages I couldn’t keep up with. Took me a week to figure out I needed to be pickier. Now, I upgrade to Tinder Gold—$29.99/month isn’t cheap, but seeing who’s already liked me cuts the guesswork and saves hours. One night, I matched with this bartender, met up for drinks, and bam—best one-night stand ever. Pro tip: keep your profile flirty and short; oversharing’s a buzzkill.
Grindr – The Go-To for LGBTQ+ Hookups
For my queer pals—or anyone curious—Grindr’s the king of spontaneous LGBTQ+ hookups. That hyper-local matching is wild; I’ve seen “0 feet away” pop up and thought, “Wait, are they in my kitchen?” It’s perfect for those “right now” vibes. Sure, the app’s had some glitchy moments that drive me nuts, but it’s still the top dog for casual meetups in that scene.
Clarity Is Everything
I’ve dipped my toes in Grindr a couple times, and here’s what I learned: be upfront. I once chatted with a guy for hours, thinking we were on the same casual encounter page—turns out he wanted a boyfriend. Awkward. Now I lead with “just here for fun,” and it’s smooth sailing. The community digs honesty, so don’t dance around your goals.
AdultFriendFinder – Kinks and Flings Galore
If vanilla’s not your thing, AdultFriendFinder (AFF) is like a candy store for kinks and flings. Video messaging? Kink-specific chat rooms? It’s a playground for adventurous types like me who sometimes want more than the usual. The downside is the free version’s basically a tease—you’re forking over $39.95/month for the good stuff—but that massive user base means there’s always someone nearby who’s into your vibe.
My AFF Adventure
I’ll admit, I was nervous jumping into AFF—felt like I was walking into a secret club. First try, I joined a random chat room, fumbled my intro, and got zero bites. Then I watched some pros—people posting bold, specific intros like “into XYZ, hit me up.” Copied that, added a goofy pic, and boom—met this cool couple for a wild night. Tip: don’t be shy; AFF rewards the brave.
Ashley Madison – Discreet and Local
Ashley Madison started as the affair spot, but now it’s open to singles too, and I love it for discreet hookups. The anonymous profiles and private call options are clutch when I want to keep things hush-hush. Sign-up’s free, and those location filters pinpoint local prospects fast—perfect for a low-key fling without the whole world knowing.
Keeping It Under Wraps
I leaned on Ashley Madison once when I was traveling and didn’t want my usual crew asking questions. Set up a quick profile—no face pics, just a vibe—and within hours, I was chatting with someone two blocks away. We grabbed coffee first (safety first!), then had a chill night. It felt sneaky but fun—like a spy mission with a happy ending. Pro tip: use the private call feature to vet people without swapping numbers.
Quick App Rundown: Which One’s Your Jam?
App | Vibe | Best For | Heads-Up |
---|---|---|---|
Tinder | Fast, flirty | Quick local hookups | Bio clarity is key |
Grindr | Hyper-local, bold | Spontaneous LGBTQ+ meetups | Bugs can annoy |
AdultFriendFinder | Wild, adventurous | Kinks and niche flings | Paywall for full access |
Ashley Madison | Secretive, discreet | Low-key local action | Takes a sec to set up right |
So yeah, these apps and sites have totally changed how I chase casual sex near me—no more awkward bar scenes, just straight-to-the-point fun. I’ve flopped hard, laughed at myself, and scored some killer nights. Pick your poison, tweak your approach, and you’ll be golden. What’s your go-to app? Spill the tea—I’m nosy!
How to Optimize Your Profile for Success
Okay, let’s talk about your dating profile—because, seriously, it’s your first shot at making someone swipe right instead of left. Your profile’s your first impression—make it count. I learned this the hard way after months of crickets on Tinder, wondering why my inbox was a ghost town. Turns out, my blurry selfie from a dimly lit bar and a lazy “just ask” bio were screaming “I don’t care” louder than I realized. Ditch that vibe. Instead, use a sharp photo that shows your personality—smiling works wonders, trust me—and pair it with a short, cheeky line like “Looking for a night worth staying up for.” It’s all about grabbing attention without trying too hard.
The Photo Fiasco I Survived (and You Can Avoid)
Let me tell you about my photo disaster. I thought a grainy pic of me squinting into the sun was “artsy”—spoiler: it wasn’t. No one could tell if I was a human or a grumpy cat. Then a friend dragged me outside for a redo: clear daylight, a big grin, and bam—matches started rolling in. So, here’s the deal: grab a buddy, head outside when the light’s soft (morning or late afternoon’s perfect), and snap a few shots. Smile like you mean it—data says smiling pics get 40% more likes on apps like Hinge. Add a full-body shot too—I throw in one of me hiking, just casual enough to say “I’m active but not a gym bro.” Three pics total? That’s the sweet spot.
Oh, and skip the group shots. I tried that once—me and four pals at a barbecue—and every message was “Which one are you?” Total buzzkill. Keep it solo, keep it clear, and watch the difference.
Bio Blunders and How I Fixed Mine
Now, the bio. I used to leave it blank or toss in “just ask,” thinking it was mysterious. Nope—it’s boring. People don’t want homework; they want a vibe. One night, after striking out again, I rewrote mine to “Part-time coffee snob, full-time nap enthusiast.” Suddenly, I had folks messaging me about their favorite brews. Try something like “Looking for a night worth staying up for”—it’s flirty, fun, and sets the tone. If you’re on hookup apps like Grindr, be blunt: “Here for casual fun, no strings.” Mention what you’re after to avoid mixed signals—nobody likes guessing games.
Keep it short, though. Two lines max. I once rambled about my dog, my job, my dreams—yawn. No one’s reading a novel. Test a few versions; see what sticks. A cheeky bio beats a blank one every time.
Location Settings—My Proximity Wake-Up Call
Here’s where I almost messed up big: location settings. On apps like Tinder or Grindr, proximity’s your secret weapon—set your radius to “near me,” like 5-10 miles max, for instant local matches. I had mine at 50 miles once, thinking more options were better. Wrong. I’d match with someone an hour away, and by the time we figured out logistics, the spark was dead. Clarity and proximity are your best friends here—keep it tight, and you’re chatting with someone you can actually meet tonight.
One time, I matched with this cool person five blocks away because I finally tweaked my radius. We grabbed drinks that same night—zero hassle. Apps love local action too; tight settings boost your visibility. Play around with it—start small, expand if needed.
Quick Tips Table for Profile Perfection
What to Do | Why It Works | My Screw-Up |
---|---|---|
Sharp, solo photo | Shows your face, builds trust | Used a blurry group pic—oops |
Short, fun bio | Grabs attention, sets your vibe | Left it blank, got ignored |
Radius at 5-10 miles | Local matches = faster meetups | Set it too wide, wasted time |
Mention casual intent | No mixed signals, just fun | Vague bio led to awkward chats |
The Confidence Boost You Didn’t Know You Needed
Here’s the real talk: optimizing your profile isn’t just about matches—it’s about feeling good. After fixing mine, I stopped stressing every swipe. I’d toss up a new pic, tweak my bio, and suddenly I was the one picking, not just hoping. It’s like cleaning your room—small effort, big payoff. Trust me, I’ve been the guy with the lame profile, and I’ve been the guy getting “Hey, you seem fun” messages. The difference? A little intention. You’ve got this—just show ’em who you are.
So yeah, ditch the blurry selfies and vague “just ask” bios. Get that sharp shot, write a line that’s you, and keep those matches close. You’ll be amazed how fast it turns around. What’s your go-to bio move? Spill it—I’m all ears!
Safety Tips for Casual Encounters in 2025
Alright, let’s get real—casual sex should be a blast, not a gamble. I’ve had my share of flings that went smooth as butter, and a couple that left me paranoid for weeks. Casual sex should be fun, not risky, and with STD rates ticking up—cases of chlamydia rose 7% from 2020 to 2023 per the CDC—safety’s non-negotiable. Plus, meeting strangers? That’s its own wild ride with cautions you can’t ignore. Here’s how I keep it chill and safe, with a few mess-ups I learned from along the way.
First off, always use protection. Condoms are your MVP, slashing STD risks by up to 98% when you use ‘em right—none of that “it’ll be fine” nonsense. I once skipped that step in the heat of the moment—dumb move—and spent days stressing until I got tested. Apps like HER even throw in STD status checks now, which is a game-changer for peace of mind. Next, meet in public first. A coffee shop or bar lets you vibe-check your hookup before you’re alone—I’ve dodged some weirdos just by watching how they act over a beer. And tell a friend where you’re at and who you’re with—a quick “check-in” text has saved me from sketchy situations more than once.
Online’s a minefield too. Watch for red flags: pushy vibes, dodgy pics, or profiles that scream “too good to be true.” I got catfished once—thought I was meeting a tall, artsy type, ended up with someone who looked like my old gym teacher. Stick to verified platforms like Tinder with its photo verification—it’s clutch for dodging fakes. If something feels off, bail. No explanation needed. Your gut’s usually spot-on—I’ve walked away mid-coffee and never regretted it.
Navigating Consent and Communication
Consent’s the golden rule, no question. I’ve fumbled this before—assumed we were on the same page and got a frosty “uh, no” in return. Now, I keep it simple: “You cool with this?” before things heat up. It’s smooth, respectful, and avoids that awkward backpedal. Be upfront about boundaries too—what’s on the table, what’s not. I once didn’t clarify I wasn’t into something, and the vibe crashed hard—lesson learned. Casual doesn’t mean sloppy; clear chats keep it fun, not weird.
Post-hookup, I’ve found a quick “Had fun, take care” text works wonders. It’s friendly, no strings, and shuts down any clingy vibes. I used to ghost—big mistake. One time, I got a flood of “where’d you go?” messages that could’ve been avoided with a two-second send. Communication’s your secret weapon for a good time that stays good—trust me, it’s worth the tiny effort.
My Safety Checklist (Because I’ve Screwed Up Enough)
Here’s what I’ve pieced together after some trial and error:
Safety Move | Why It’s Smart | My Oops Moment |
---|---|---|
Condoms every time | Cuts STD risks by 98% | Skipped once, panicked for days |
Public meetup first | Vibes check before private time | Went straight over—super awkward |
Tell a friend | Backup if it goes sideways | Forgot, felt stuck once |
Verify profiles | Dodges catfishes and creeps | Met a fake—total time waste |
“You cool?” consent ask | Keeps it clear and chill | Assumed, got shut down fast |
The Time I Almost Didn’t Bail (and Why I’m Glad I Did)
One night, I matched with someone online—great pics, flirty chat, the works. But at the bar, they got pushy fast, like “Let’s go now” vibes. My gut screamed “nope,” but I almost ignored it—didn’t want to seem rude. Finally, I faked a phone call and bolted. Later, I heard from a friend they’d creeped out someone else too. Point is, if it feels off, get out. I’ve never regretted trusting that instinct—it’s kept my casual encounters fun, not freaky.
So yeah, keep it safe out there. Protection, public spots, and clear consent—it’s not rocket science, just stuff I wish I’d nailed down sooner. What’s your go-to safety trick? Hit me up with it—I’m always learning!
Local Hotspots for Casual Sex Meetups
So, you’re not into apps? I get it—sometimes swiping feels like a chore, and you just want that old-school vibe where sparks fly in person. Bars, clubs, and social scenes are goldmines for casual connections—especially in 2025, as post-COVID dating shifts keep IRL hookups alive and kicking. I’ve had some of my best nights ditching the phone and stepping into the buzz of a crowded room. Here’s how I’ve figured out the local hookup game, with a few flops and wins to share.
Bars top the list every time. Think dimly lit spots with cheap drinks and a laid-back crowd—perfect for striking up a convo without yelling over a DJ. I’ve got this one dive near me—sticky floors, $3 beers, and a jukebox that’s seen better days—and it’s where I’ve chatted up more strangers than I can count. Clubs crank it up a notch, though. The dance floor’s a natural icebreaker—nothing says “hey, let’s vibe” like a quick twirl—and that late-night energy just screams “let’s keep this going.” Check Yelp or local Reddit threads for spots near you known for singles mingling. In bigger cities, rooftop bars or dive joints pull in the “just for tonight” crowd like moths to a flame.
Beyond nightlife, there’s more out there. Niche events like kink parties or speed-dating nights—yep, they’re back!—can hook you up with like-minded folks fast. I stumbled into a speed-dating gig once, half-curious, half-desperate, and walked out with two numbers and a goofy grin. Scan Eventbrite or Meetup for local happenings—there’s always something weird and fun popping up. The key’s simple: confidence and a chill approach. Nobody’s there for a lecture—just a flirty chat that might turn into more.
Reading the Room Like a Pro
Subtlety’s your friend here—I’ve learned Sybil’s my kryptonite too. At a bar, a smile and “Mind if I join you?” can kick things off smooth. I’ve bombed this before—waltzed up to someone with a cheesy “Come here often?” and got an eye-roll so hard I felt it in my soul. Watch body language instead—leaning in’s a green light, crossed arms might mean “not tonight.” Lean into that instinct. Don’t overpush either—a “no” is a no, and there’s always another chance around the corner. Being the fun, relaxed person in the room ups your odds without breaking a sweat—I’ve turned nights around just by cracking a joke and not taking myself too seriously.
My Bar Blunder (and How I Bounced Back)
Okay, story time. I once strutted into a bar, all puffed up, thinking I’d charm everyone with my “smooth moves.” Spoiler: I tripped over a stool, spilled my drink, and looked like a total goof. The room went quiet—crickets. But instead of slinking out, I laughed it off, said, “Well, that’s one way to break the ice,” and bought a round for the table next to me. By the end of the night, I was chatting up someone cute who thought my clumsiness was “endearing.” Lesson? Own your mess-ups—confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about rolling with it.
Hotspot Hunting—My Go-To Moves
Finding the right spot’s half the battle. I’ve wasted nights in dead-end bars—think empty stools and a bartender who’s too busy texting to pour. Now, I scope out places first. Yelp’s my wingman—search “singles bars near me” or “best nightlife spots,” and read the reviews. Reddit’s gold too—local threads spill the tea on where the action’s at. One time, I found this rooftop gem—city lights, cheap cocktails, and a crowd that didn’t care about tomorrow. Walked out with a flirty goodbye kiss and a solid memory.
Quick Tips Table for IRL Hookups
Move | Why It Works | My Screw-Up |
---|---|---|
Smile + “Mind if I join?” | Easy, low-pressure opener | Overdid it with a cheesy line |
Watch body language | Reads the vibe without words | Ignored a “no” once—awkward |
Hit busy spots | More chances to connect | Picked a ghost town bar—yikes |
Stay chill | Relaxed vibes draw people in | Tried too hard, crashed hard |
The Night I Nailed It
One time, I hit a club—packed dance floor, pulsing beats—and decided to just go for it. Smiled at someone grooving nearby, offered a “Wanna dance?” with zero pressure. They said yes, we moved together, and by last call, we were laughing over fries at a diner, planning a next stop. No overthinking, just fun. That’s the magic of reading the room right—keeps it light, keeps it real.
So, ditch the screen sometimes. Local hotspots are where the raw, messy, awesome stuff happens. What’s your favorite spot to mingle? Tell me—I’m always up for a new haunt!
Pros and Cons of Casual Sex Around Me
Alright, let’s spill the tea—casual sex isn’t all fireworks and fairy tales; it’s got trade-offs you gotta wrestle with. I’ve been down this road a bunch, and knowing the ups and downs helps you figure out if it’s your vibe—or if you’re better off bingeing Netflix instead. Here’s my take, straight from the trenches, with some wins, some flops, and a whole lotta real talk.
On the plus side, it’s liberating as heck. No commitments, just pure, unfiltered fun—perfect for busy lives when you’re juggling a million things or bouncing back from a breakup that left you swearing off “forever.” Studies say regular sex boosts your mood with dopamine and oxytocin hits—those happy chemicals are no joke—and I can vouch for that after a night that turned a rough week into a grin-fest. Plus, local hookups? Less travel, more action. It’s low-stakes, letting you explore what you’re into without the dreaded “where’s this going?” chat that makes me wanna bolt.
But there’s a flip side, and it’s not all roses. Emotional attachment can sneak up like a ninja—about 30% of casual sex folks catch feelings, per a 2016 New Yorker piece, and I’ve been that statistic. One time, I thought “just fun” with a neighbor would stay chill—next thing I know, I’m overanalyzing their every text. STD risks are real too if you slack on safety; I’ve had close calls that made me triple-check my condom stash. And let’s keep it 100: not every hookup’s mind-blowing. Awkward mornings happen—like the time I woke up to a guy who snored like a chainsaw and left toothpaste on my sink. Weighing these keeps your expectations in check, trust me.
Managing Expectations
Here’s the golden rule I’ve drilled into my head: keep it simple—this isn’t love, it’s lust. Set mental ground rules—enjoy the moment, then let it go like a balloon you don’t need anymore. I’ve messed this up before, big time. Once, I let a fling linger in my brain too long, replaying every laugh like it meant something deep—spoiler: it didn’t. If feelings bubble up, step back and reassess—maybe take a breather with a solo movie night instead. Casual sex works best when you’re brutally honest with yourself about what you want (and don’t). No pressure, no guilt—just good times, pure and simple.
The Time I Caught Feelings (and How I Snapped Out of It)
So, picture this: I’m hooking up with someone nearby—super convenient, right? We’re laughing, vibing, and suddenly I’m wondering if they’d like my mom’s lasagna. Red flag city. That 30% stat hit me hard—I was hooked, and it wasn’t part of the plan. I had to pull back, mute their texts for a weekend, and remind myself: this is casual, not a rom-com. Worked like a charm—by Monday, I was back to “no strings” mode. Tip? Write down your “why” before you dive in—mine’s “fun, not forever”—and peek at it when your heart starts playing tricks.
Safety Slip-Up That Woke Me Up
Safety’s non-negotiable, but I’ve slipped. One night, caught up in the heat, I didn’t double-check the condom situation—dumb, I know. Spent the next week stressing, googling STD risks ‘til my eyes hurt. Now, I’ve got a little “safety kit” by my bed—condoms, lube, the works—and I never skip it. That scare taught me: local hookups are awesome, but only if you’re smart about it. Keep protection handy; it’s your VIP pass to worry-free fun.
My Pros-and-Cons Cheat Sheet
Pro | Why It’s Awesome | Con | Why It Sucks |
---|---|---|---|
No commitments | Freedom to live your life | Feelings sneak in | Heart says “oops” |
Mood boost | Dopamine’s your buddy | STD risks | Safety’s a must |
Local = easy | Less driving, more doing | Awkward aftermath | Snoring guy, toothpaste mess |
When It’s Worth It
Best hookup ever? A random night with someone two streets over—zero planning, all vibes. We clicked, had a blast, and parted ways with a “see ya around” that felt just right. No overthinking, no baggage—just that oxytocin high carrying me through the week. That’s casual sex at its finest—when you nail the balance and walk away grinning.
So yeah, weigh the pros and cons—liberation’s sweet, but the flip side’s real. What’s your take on the casual game? Drop me a line—I’m all ears!
Conclusion
Finding “casual sex around me” in 2025 is a breeze with the right tools and mindset. Apps like Tinder and Grindr put local hookups at your fingertips, while bars and clubs keep the IRL spark alive. Safety and consent lock in the fun without the fallout, and knowing the pros and cons keeps you grounded. Whether you’re swiping from your couch or chatting up a stranger over a beer, the key’s the same: be clear, be safe, and enjoy the ride. Got a favorite hookup spot or app? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear your take!
Sources:
https://www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/best-sites-for-casual-encounters
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/casual-sex
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/casual-sex/