Plenty of Fish has been around for a while, and that’s a good thing—we now know what works and what doesn’t work on the popular online dating platform. Back when PoF wasn’t that popular, a simple hi or hello would get you a response. But these days, with the popularity of online dating, generic messages won’t cut it. You need to know the PoF messages that get responses.
First, here’s a fair warning: Like most online dating sites and apps out there, Plenty of Fish is quite rough on men. It’s a seller’s market: It’s the men who have to do the work to get dates. Women just sit pretty and wait for the messages from men to roll in.
Still, there are many ways to improve your chances of getting responses from women on PoF. This article will give you a framework to guide you along. You’re about to learn how Plenty of Fish works, the PoF messages that get responses, and what never to do on the platform.
How POF Works For Guys Usually
Most people use Plenty of Fish on their mobile devices, while some still use their PCs (though the site looks painfully old). No matter which device you prefer, the standard operating procedure is the same: You get on, you look for women who interest you, and you send them messages.
Once you log in, you’ll need to answer a long survey that takes around 30 minutes to complete. This helps paint a clearer picture of your personality to help potential matches see if you’d be a good match. Likewise, this can help you find out if someone on the site will be a good match for you. For more info on PoF as well as our thoughts on the site overall, check out our Plenty of Fish review.
To cut your learning curve short, here are a couple of important rules you’d have otherwise learned the hard way:
Have a presentable profile
Answer the survey, include some information about yourself and, most importantly, upload a good dating app photo. We’re in the internet age here and photos are crucial for attracting women online. So ask a friend to take your photo in good lighting and pick one that best represents how you look.
Don’t copy and paste too much
With the volume of messages you’ll be writing on Plenty of Fish, it’s tempting to have a couple of boilerplate messages to just copy and paste to women. While it’s a proven strategy, Plenty of Fish tends to not like it and may suspend your account if you use it too much.
To stay on the safe side, create a large pool of templates to use in rotation. Better yet, get creative with your messages using the tips later in this article.
Don’t ask her out right away
What if a woman messages you back? Congratulations—but don’t blow your chance by asking her out right away. Have a quick conversation, and once she’s sent you at least three messages, ask her out. You’ll stand a much better chance of getting a “yes” that way.
Writing PoF Messages that Get Responses
Now let’s get to the good stuff. What are the PoF messages that work well with women? Here’s what we know so far, and how you can use this information to your advantage:
Too many men on PoF are lazy—they greet hundreds of women with “Hey babe” or “Ur hot,” hoping they get lucky. Don’t be like those guys.
You got to be creative. Use your messages to show your cleverness, make women laugh and get them to message you back. Here are a few samples to give you an idea:
- “Not sure if you’re staying out of trouble, but if you’re nice, I can bake you some lasagna. So what’s the weirdest message you’ve received today?”
- “Maybe you’re as spiritual as you say on your profile, but if you’re funny too, I can read your future through Tarot Cards. So what’s keeping you up tonight?”
Creative messages make a woman stop what she’s doing for a few seconds and read your message. Those precious few seconds of attention might just be what she needs to decide to respond.
Pique her curiosity
Curiosity is the primary emotion that makes her want to message you back. That’s why it’s advisable to send creative messages instead of (or in addition to) templates. The more curious you make her, the more likely she’ll respond to you.
Some samples of curiosity-triggering messages are:
- “Hey, I read your profile and noticed something I’ve never seen before.”
- “Hi there—I saw your 3rd photo, and it reminded me of something. Can I ask you a serious question?”
As long as you have a good excuse to message her, she’ll likely respond to find what you’re up to.
Ask her a question
This one’s a classic: Ask her an interesting, funny, or engaging multiple-choice question. It’s fun, and it’s super-easy for her to respond to. After all, she only needs to type one letter.
Here’s an example of a good multiple-choice question:
“Hey, so serious question time: If we went on vacation this winter, what would you do that you haven’t done in a while?
A – Camping
B – Ocean sports
C – Just relax and get pampered
D – I have a better idea!
Bring up shared experiences
Before you message a woman on PoF, take the time to look at their photos and profile. Find out as much information as you can based on what’s there. Did she attend the same concert you did last summer? Has she traveled to certain countries you’ve been to, as well?
Shared experiences are always nice to talk about, and if you message her about one, she’ll likely respond. Travel is the clear winner in this category—nearly every woman likes to go places.
Some sample messages are:
- “Hey, so you went to the Foo Fighters concert last year too! Was that wild or what?”
- “I recognize that beach in your photo. Lloret de Mar, right? Love the place. When were you there?”
Make educated guesses about her
Check out her photo(s) and profile description and see if you can make educated guesses about her. Check the kind of jewelry she’s wearing, the background of her photos, and her choice of clothing.
Is she a wild child, or does she walk straight and narrow? Is she introverted or extroverted? Does she like traveling or is she a homebody?
Here are a couple of good “educated guess” messages that, if they land, entice her to respond:
- “Let me guess—you’re a homebody, but a big part of you misses going to big events like concerts.”
- “Let me guess—you’re into competitive sports?”
- “Let me guess—you’re an old-school art enthusiast. I recognize the Andy Warhol brooch on your photo.”
Compliment her on something besides her appearance
Complimenting her is your go-to tactic if you can’t be more creative (or if her profile and photos don’t give you much to go on). That said, don’t buy the easy sell of complimenting her appearance. She likely gets way too much of it from other men, and so she won’t feel especially thrilled when she gets one from you.
Here are some creative ways to compliment her:
- “I saw the Seneca quote on your profile and I geeked out. It’s not every day I meet someone with an interest in ancient history. How’s your day going?”
- “I recognize the volunteer organization you’re working with in your photos. I love people like you. Can we be friends?”
Find ways to compliment her intelligence, work ethic, and altruism. Appreciate her where you think she’s under-appreciated, and she’ll show her gratitude with a response.
Have a sense of humor
Make her laugh somehow. Jokes are fine, and if they land, you’re lucky—it might be enough to make her reply, “Okay, that killed me. What’s up?”
If you need some ideas for funny PoF messages that work, here are a few:
- “Did you hear about the cat who spent Christmas in the desert? It got sandy claws. You’re welcome to the Dad joke. So, did anything funnier happen to you today?”
- “It seems you’re looking for love in Alderaan places.” (If she’s a Star Wars fan)
Talk about food
Lastly, another universally liked topic is food. If you can guess her favorite food, or give her a multiple-choice question to make it even easier to respond.
Here’s a sample message you can use:
“Hey, so serious question time: If we met for dinner this weekend, what’s are we having: Pizza, wings, tacos or sushi?
Other great ideas
You can combine some of the eight tips above to come up with really creative messages. Remember, your goal is to stand out by sending a message she’s never received before. The more unique, enticing, and relevant your message is, the more likely she is to respond to you.
If you need more ideas, check out our article about the best first messages to send to a woman. The article primarily discusses text messages, but it should give you some good ideas for your templates.
What to Never Do on PoF
All that said, there are some things you should never do on Plenty of Fish. After all, if we have the list of the best PoF messages that get responses, we also need to warn you against those that NEVER work. These reduce your response rate, meaning you’ll be working harder and getting fewer results for your trouble. That’s a serious mistake to make when it’s already challenging enough to get responses from women on PoF.
Never have bad grammar
Way, way too many guys don’t use proper grammar on Plenty of Fish. Needless to say, they get fewer positive responses from the women they message. On top of that, they often end up on lists of the worst online dating mistakes men make. We don’t want to see you on that list!
Keep your success rate up by using proper grammar and punctuation. The women who are worth it will appreciate it.
Whatever you do, don’t text her stuff like “Wat dat mouf do.” That might work on more “hookup-oriented” platforms like Tinder, but certainly not on Plenty of Fish. If you want to make her blush over your message, simply follow the tips in this article as closely as you can.
Go Find Love at Plenty of Fish
Lastly, keep in mind that not all women will respond to your messages. Many won’t, and a few might even be rude to you. That’s fine—take it as clear indications they’re women you’d rather not waste your time on. So simply move on to the next.
And there you have it—your quick guide to the do’s and don’ts of meeting women on PoF. You now know the PoF messages that get responses and the ones that don’t. Now it’s up to you to set up a messaging routine and carry it out every single day until you get the women, the dates, and the relationships you want.