You meet new people regularly, whether through social occasions or dating apps. With some people, you click instantly because you complement each other’s energies so well. On the other hand, you will also come across people you don’t have a good feeling about. It may be hard to pinpoint why that is. All you know is you get a negative vibe from them.
Let’s say you have been talking to a girl recently. You were initially into her, but now you’re starting to doubt if she really is the one for you. Staying in these situations can be detrimental to your mental well-being, especially in the long run. Therefore, you should always look out for signs you should stay away from someone. While some of these red flags are easy to identify, others may be harder to spot.
If you want to know more about signs you should stay away from someone, then this article is for you. For this article, we have thoroughly researched and put together all the red flags you should watch out for.
What Are the Clearest Signs to Stay Away from Them?
First, let’s look at the clearest signs to stay away from someone. Professionals and marriage counselors with years of experience under their belt tell us that these are the most prominent signs you should avoid her.
- Their words lower your self-esteem
- They don't respect your personal boundaries
- They are manipulative
- They always play the victim
- Signs of abusive behavior
Their words lower your self-esteem.
The first sign is that she lowers your self-esteem through her words or actions. She openly demeans you and treats you harshly. When you find yourself surrounded by someone who constantly criticizes, belittles or judges you, it can profoundly impact your self-esteem. Negative words can seep into your thoughts and shape your perception of yourself.
Being around a girl who constantly brings you down will make you doubt your abilities, question your decisions and reality, and make you feel inadequate. This is in contrast to healthy relationships that are built on mutual respect and support. If you want to live a happy life, you need to surround yourself with people who appreciate and value you for who you are. This advice is especially important when looking for a life partner.
Try to pay attention to her tone of voice, how she speaks, and how often she criticizes you. If it happens often enough that you find yourself constantly tiptoeing around her, trying to please her, hoping she'll eventually change because of the force of your affection, it may be time to reexamine that relationship. Don't be afraid to break away from anything that threatens your inner peace and happiness. End the relationship before it's too late.
They don’t respect your personal boundaries.
Personal boundaries are crucial for maintaining a healthy and respectful relationship. They establish limits and ensure that your physical and emotional well-being is protected. When your partner constantly disregards your boundaries, it clearly says she doesn't respect you, and trust goes out the window.
Physical boundary violations can come in various forms—from invading your personal space without permission to touching you inappropriately. Any action that makes you feel unsafe, uncomfortable, and violated is a big no-no, and it's important to communicate this with your girl. It's also essential to keep in mind that your body belongs to you, and you have the authority to set and uphold your own boundaries.
They are manipulative.
Dealing with a manipulative individual can be emotionally challenging and draining. Manipulators have a knack for subtly controlling and influencing others to serve their own interests.
If you come across someone who constantly twists facts to make you second-guess your own judgment and decisions, then it is a clear sign you should stay away from her. Manipulators might use emotional tactics to make you feel guilty or claim responsibility for things that they did wrong.
Did she divulge a secret that you trusted her to keep safe? And when confronted about it, did she start crying or yelling and saying it was because you're never around and she needed someone to talk to? This is just one example. There are many scenarios where one person gets manipulated into thinking everything is his fault, even when he really hasn't done anything wrong. Don't be that guy.
Learn how to spot manipulation. Stay alert and be aware of inconsistent behaviors or attempts to exert control over your thoughts and feelings. Manipulators are masters at identifying and taking advantage of weaknesses.
They always play the victim.
Conflicts and arguments are very normal in relationships. It's true that no one wants to admit that they're wrong. But for a relationship to thrive, both partners have to acknowledge that they're not perfect and can make mistakes. Taking responsibility is part of emotional maturity. So, when you encounter someone who never accepts her mistakes, it's a big red flag and a sign you shouldn't be with her.
Basically, she will go to great lengths to play the victim card in order to come out on top of every situation. She will refuse to take responsibility for her actions and instead will shift the blame onto you or other people. This victim mentality creates a toxic dynamic within a relationship.
You really can't have a meaningful relationship if your girlfriend is perpetually presenting herself as the victim. When you need it, she's never there to commiserate with you or support you. It's always you supporting her. This can leave you emotionally drained and exhausted.
Signs of abusive behavior.
One of the biggest red flags in a relationship is signs of abusive behavior. This includes physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. Any type of bodily injury that is done to you by another person is considered physical abuse. This can mean slapping, kicking, punching, beating, or any other form of physical aggression. You need to put your safety first and leave the relationship at the first sign of physical abuse.
Verbal abuse is the use of language or words to demean, insult, belittle, or degrade another person through yelling, name-calling, constant criticism, humiliation, or threats. Your self-esteem, confidence, and mental health will all be negatively affected by verbal abuse. It's important to keep your distance from a person who is verbally abusing you on a regular basis since this can have a serious and enduring emotional impact on you.
Seek out assistance from loved ones or qualified individuals through violence hotlines, anyone who can help you regain your self-esteem, and give you advice on how to leave your abusive relationship. It's important to develop a safety plan and get out of that toxic, violent environment. Nobody deserves to be abused like that.
10 More Signs You Should Stay Away from Them
After going through the five clear signs you should avoid her, let’s take a look at 10 more subtle signs you should stay away from someone. Once you're aware of these signs, they should be easier to notice in your partner’s behavior.
You start getting the “bad vibes” from her.
Let’s say you met a girl. Everything about her seems great, from the way she talks to how she mixes with other people. But, for some reason, you can't explain, you get a bad feeling in your gut whenever you're alone with her.
Know that your intuition isn't always going to be right, but it can protect you from potentially toxic relationships. If you find yourself constantly on edge or feeling uneasy around someone, it's a clear sign that something isn't right. Your gut may be trying to tell you something, and you should listen.
Your emotional well-being should always be a priority. Even if it doesn't make sense, it's okay to distance yourself from someone who gives off bad energy.
They constantly gaslight you.
Some people will employ a manipulative technique called gaslighting to get you to question your own understanding of reality. Gaslighting can take many forms, including denying what you said or your actions and making you feel guilty or accountable for something you never did. This manipulation can gradually lower your self-esteem and make you feel helpless and anxious.
If you find yourself constantly frustrated, perplexed, and doubting your own sanity, second-guessing yourself, or feeling like you're walking on eggshells around someone, it's time to take a step back. Chances are you're with a gaslighter, and it's clearly bad for your health.
Recognize the signs of gaslighting, trust your own perception of reality, and distance yourself from the person who is gaslighting you.
They don’t respect your privacy.
Respecting personal space and privacy is an essential aspect of any healthy relationship. Your personal space, belongings, and information should be respected and treated with care.
If someone consistently disregards your need for privacy by snooping through your belongings, checking your social media accounts, and reading through your messages and emails, it's a clear sign that she does not respect you as an individual.
This is why it's important to set boundaries early on in the relationship. Clearly communicate your expectations and limits. If she still violates your privacy after that, it may be necessary to sever ties with her—sooner rather than later. Surround yourself with people who understand the importance of personal privacy. You'll be better for it.
They are only nice to you when they need something.
Do you have someone in your life who is extraordinarily kind and helpful to you—but only when she needs something from you? This doesn't mean she's interested in you. It means she thinks she can take advantage of you and get away with it.
True relationships are based on mutual care, respect, and support. You should be careful if someone only expresses interest in you when they have a favor to ask, or if they need your help. These people do not care about you or your well-being. Instead of trying to please these types of people, focus more on those who appreciate you for who you are and not simply what you can accomplish for them.
They disrespect your friends and family.
Your friends and family hold a special place in your life. They are the ones who have been there for you through thick and thin, providing love and support even when you don't need it. If someone constantly disrespects or belittles your loved ones, it's a major red flag.
A healthy and respectful relationship involves mutual consideration and support for the people who are important in each other's individual lives. Disrespecting your friends and family shows a lack of empathy and consideration. She might even try to drive you away from your loved ones.
Keep in mind that she's the newcomer in your life. Everyone else has been around and has stuck it out with you through all your ups and downs. Don't strain your relationships with your friends and family over someone who might not even be in your life forever.
Find a partner who holds your loved ones in high regard, just as much as you do. Similarly, appreciate and try to get along with the people in your partner's life. Respect goes both ways.
They don’t care about making up after an argument.
Any relationship is bound to experience conflict, but how that conflict is handled says a lot about how strong the bond is. If your girl repeatedly displays apathy or disinterest in settling disputes or making amends after an argument, it could mean she's not interested in being with you long-term.
Open and honest communication and the desire to resolve differences are all necessary components of a healthy relationship. After all, you don't just toss out something important to you the moment it breaks, do you? You try to fix it first, you feel bad about it, you mourn its loss, and you might even still keep it if it matters to you that much. So if your girl acts like she doesn't care when you fight, it's a sign you should stay away from her.
They are overly possessive about you.
Having a partner who cares about your well-being is nice and ideal. However, there's a thin line between caring and being overly possessive. Controlling behavior involves constantly monitoring your every move, insisting on knowing your whereabouts at all times, and restricting your interactions with others. She might even ask you for clear proof that you were out with the guys and not with some other chick before she finally lets you off the hook.
Healthy relationships thrive on trust and personal freedom. Having a partner who is always trying to control your every move or isolates you from friends and family is a big red flag. You have your own life outside of the relationship, and she has hers. You have your own friends, and so does she. This is healthy and normal, and if someone tells you otherwise, you need to take a step back from that person.
They try to justify when they get caught cheating.
You know what they say—it takes years to build trust and just seconds to break it. One big way your partner can break your trust is by cheating on you. What’s even worse is if she cheats on you and then tries to justify or minimize her actions. She'll try to turn the tables around and make you feel bad, even though she was the one who got caught red-handed. This is a classic example of gaslighting.
"How dare you accuse me of something like that!", "I was home the whole time, you just weren't looking hard enough!" and when confronted with evidence, the conversation might suddenly sound like, "We're just friends hanging out. So you're allowed to hang out with your friends, but I'm not?"
Sounds familiar? Yeah, it sucks. But it happens quite often. Cheating is a massive breach of trust, and if your partner fails to show genuine remorse or doesn't take steps to rebuild your trust after she cheats on you, it may be the sign you need to finally free yourself. The sooner you're out from under her toxic influence, the better you'll be.
They don’t value your opinion.
In a healthy relationship, both partners’ opinions and perspectives are respected. Nobody should ever feel unappreciated and ignored by someone who claims to love them.
To her, you never pick the right flowers or colors, your sweets, and treats are never good, never the right flavor, you never get her the right gift, and your shows are always boring. Your ideas and gestures are constantly dismissed with a derogatory tone.
Yes, nobody is perfect, no couple is a hundred percent compatible, and we all make mistakes. But if, to her, you never do anything right, then it's no longer a you-problem. It's definitely a her-problem. Either her expectations are too high, bordering on unrealistic, or she's looking for something you can never provide.
You should be with someone who's willing to explore alternative ideas with empathy and active listening. Not only will this harbor a healthy bond but it will also boost your self-esteem.
You stop taking care of yourself due to their judgemental remarks.
The last and most drastic sign that you should stay away from someone is when you stop taking care of yourself due to their toxicity. Self-care is essential for your physical and mental health. It includes nourishing your body with healthy food, exercising regularly, and taking time to do activities that bring you joy.
However, if someone's judgmental comments make you feel guilty about doing any of these things, it's time to reconsider their place in your life. Your happiness and self-worth are more important than someone else's bias or judgment.
It's okay to hang out with your friends after a long day of work. It's okay to watch a movie alone when you're stressed. It's okay to eat a bag of chips and cookies once in a while. It's okay to spend an hour or two at the gym every day. It's okay to stay in if you're feeling tired or sick. It's okay to take care of yourself and to put yourself first, especially if it means you become a better partner and lover to your girl.
Distance yourself from individuals who bring you down. Instead, find a partner who appreciates you and supports your needs, whatever they may be.
Why Should You Stay Away from Someone?
Staying away from someone is crucial when their presence in your life is always bringing negativity, toxicity, or harm. By distancing yourself from such individuals, you protect your emotional well-being and preserve your sense of self.
You need to create boundaries and prioritize your own happiness because you can't make anyone happy if you, yourself, are miserable. You deserve to be surrounded by people who uplift and support you, respect your boundaries and treat you with kindness and empathy.
Choosing to stay away from someone detrimental to your overall well-being is an act of self-care and self-preservation.
You come across many people in your personal and professional life. Mixing with the right kind of people is essential to your overall well-being, especially if it's a romantic interest. If the person you are interested in is not treating you properly, or if you have a bad feeling about her, it may be a sign to stay away.
We hope our guide on signs you should stay away from someone has alerted you to the red flags to look out for in a person.